On It, Boss - Season 2
by LMSgrl
Summary: Continuation of episode filler, tags, and one-shots based on the episodes of Season 2 and beginning with "See No Evil."
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to Season 2! This is a tag for the first episode of Season 2 – "See No Evil."**

**Also, just want to address a couple of other things that have come up. There were some questions about the whole Senior Field Agent thing. While obviously Tony is the most "senior" in terms of seniority on the team for the duration of the entire series, I interpret "Senior Field Agent" to be a separate title that comes with increased responsibilities, including some level of authority over the other agents on the team in Gibbs' absence. I think Gibbs treats Kate and Tony pretty equally in that regard throughout Season 1, so my assumption for this fiction will be that Tony "officially" becomes SFA some time in Season 2. Now regarding the time frame in which Tony officially becomes Gibbs' Senior Field Agent – Gibbs' first reference to Tony using that title doesn't come until late in Season 2 in the episode "Red Cell." Given Tony's reaction to Ducky and Jimmy (where he says something along the lines of "Did you hear that? He called me his Senior Field Agent. Finally!"), I am going by the assumption that this is indeed the first time Gibbs ever acknowledges Tony as his SFA and that it is something Tony has been eagerly anticipating for quite some time. Which means at the beginning of Season 2, my poor Tony still has a ways to go in trying to "earn" himself that title on Gibbs' team – fun for me as a FF writer though! **

**Additionally, it was somewhat difficult for me to determine how much time is supposed to have passed between "Reveille" and "See No Evil." On one hand, Tony makes reference to the fact that he's been working out "all summer" and they make a point of how unbearably hot it is, so it seems like it could be July or August. But then Ducky says that the human jigsaw puzzle was found "last month," so I'm putting "See No Evil" around the end of June and assuming a little over a month has gone by in the interim.**

**Enjoy!**

"**One More Thing"**

"Agent Gibbs, uh, Boss, I mean," McGee stammered, "thank you again so much for the opportunity. I can't wait to get started! Uh, I do have one question though."

Gibbs simply stared at the other man as his brand new agent stood awkwardly in front of his desk. The promotion of Agent McGee to full-time field agent on his team had happened somewhat more rapidly than any of them had anticipated. However, after the incredibly bright young man had helped saved the life of Officer Watson's wife with his quick-thinking and then tracked the money back to DC so that the true culprit behind the kidnapping could be identified, the Director had thought it both prudent and well-deserved to go ahead and ram through Agent McGee's official promotion to the MCRT.

_It's gonna take a while to get used to that_, McGee thought as he noted the piercing glare he received in response to his inquiry_. _Realizing no verbal response was forthcoming, the now _Special Agent _McGee continued. "I was just wondering when you actually wanted me to start. Cause, I'd love to start right away, but I do have some things to wrap up in Norfolk and I don't want to just leave things unfinished."

The request for additional time came as somewhat of a relief to the Lead Agent, since just a couple of days ago he'd expected a new agent on his team in a few _months_ and was not anywhere close to being ready for him. "How much time do you need?"

"Uh, a couple of days? Maybe?"

"That a question, McGee?" Tony and Kate had been writing their reports on the Watson case, but both looked up in amusement. The case had been horribly stressful, as cases involving children always are, but their one relief had been taking turns hazing their new teammate-to-be. _Well that does it, _Tony said to himself, _I've got to keep him from talking directly to Gibbs as much as possible or we're gonna have a dead Probie on our hands._

"No? I mean, yes, sir. Gibbs. Boss." _Deep breath Tim._ "Can I have a couple of days?"

Gibbs audibly sighed in relief that this conversation was at last coming to an end. "Yes, Agent McGee, take a few days, wrap things up in Norfolk. It's gonna take us a few days to get everything ready here, anyway."

McGee smiled in relief. "Thank you, Boss! I'll see you all in a few days!" In spite of being teased, threatened, simultaneously slapped in the head by both of his new teammates, and made to climb, or more accurately, "tumble" head-first out of a two-story window earlier in the day, McGee was looking forward to joining this team with every fiber of his being. Because Gibbs' team was the best-of-the-best, and everyone knew it.

"Hey, McGee!" Tony called, before his new teammate reached the elevator. "You have a place to stay?"

The younger man blushed just slightly. "I can stay with Abby, but I want to find an apartment as soon as possible."

"You need any help apartment hunting?" Tony offered, as Kate looked up in surprise.

"Oh, uh, no, thanks Tony. I'm sure Abby will help me. But thanks for offering. I'll see you guys soon!"

Tony hid it well, but felt a slight disappointment at having his offer of assistance rejected. Though being rejected in favor of a beautiful woman was completely understandable. Then he noticed Kate staring at him. "That was really kind of sweet of you, Tony. I didn't know you had it in you." He decided to simply answer his partner's sarcasm by making an equally sarcastic face and then returned to writing his report.

With McGee's departure, the atmosphere in the room gradually became heavy as all three of the agents remaining began to relive the details of the case they'd just wrapped. While Kate was preoccupied with concern for Sandy Watson's future now that it was known that her own father was the one who had arranged her kidnapping, the case had brought to mind more personal demons for her two teammates. Gibbs saw the face of his beloved Kelly in place of Sandy Watson's and wondered how a man could value anything enough to put his own child in danger. Captain Watson most certainly did not realize how lucky he was to be alive and relatively unharmed after Gibbs had gotten his hands on him. Across the room, Tony was simply thinking about fathers - good ones, bad ones, and how much or how little difference lay between the two. As if she'd somehow read his mind, he was roused from his thoughts when Kate suddenly remembered an earlier conversation.

"Tony, did you really mean what you said earlier about not wanting any children? Or were you just pulling my leg?"

As usual, he debated giving a facetious answer, but since he was no longer in a joking mood he decided to just stick with the truth instead. "No, Kate, I was serious. I don't want to have children."

"Hmm." It wasn't that Kate saw her partner as the "fatherly" type, but she had difficulty understanding how a person could be so resolutely against having kids. Coming from a large family, it was a future she had assumed for herself for almost as long as she'd been alive.

Gibbs was pretending to be disinterested, but whenever a conversation between his two most senior agents veered into the personal, he had learned that it was best to remain alert in order to head off any problems. And, though he'd be reluctant to admit it, he too was interested in what Tony had to say on the matter. He'd always assumed that the younger man wanted a family someday, in spite of the playboy ways of his recent years. Had that simply changed after Wendy, or had they perhaps both agreed on not becoming parents? _Or maybe they couldn't agree and that's why she didn't go through with it. _

"Hmm, _what_, Kate? I know you want to say something else. Like how relieved you are to not have to worry about any little Anthony DiNozzos running around in the world, corrupting all those sweet little girls."

"Good point, but that wasn't it. I was just wondering why."

She fully expected to be told it was none of her business, but was caught off guard when Tony decided to answer her question with what she believed to be, for once, complete honesty from her partner.

"Not everyone should be a parent, Kate. And when people who shouldn't be parents have kids anyway, it's never good for the kids. Look what happened to that little girl. Watson should never have had children."

Puzzled by how that logic applied to Tony, Kate responded, "But you aren't comparing yourself to Watson are you? I mean, you wouldn't do something like that. Turn on your wife and child to make a few extra bucks. "

"Maybe not. But there are all kinds of bad parents. Kids still get screwed up, even with lousy parents who didn't mean to be lousy." Gibbs noted the uncharacteristic world-weariness that came across in the younger man's tone, thinking that Tony was far too young to be suddenly sounding so _old_. Sometimes he truly hated what this job did to people, though another thought cut in at the same time. _It's not just the job talking. _He knew that to be true. In Tony's mind, he _was_ one of those screwed-up kids.

Kate's spidey-profiler senses were starting to tingle as well, but past experience in dealing with Tony told her she'd gotten as much out of him as he was willing to offer her. Deciding not to push her luck any further, Kate turned the discussion back to Sandy Watson. "At least Sandy still has her mother, who obviously loves her very much. They'll get through it. Sandy will be fine." Kate wasn't certain which of them she was trying to convince with the last statement.

"Let's hope so." Tony's tone made it clear that he was far from convinced himself.

"You done with that report yet, Agent Todd?" Gibbs interceded. While he was relieved to hear that Kate and Tony had finally learned to have a civil discussion, the tone of this one was taking a turn even he could no longer handle.

"Just finished, Gibbs."

"Then bring it over and go home. No point making this day any longer." Tony had just put the finishing touches on his report as well and was preparing to follow Kate's lead, but his boss stopped him. "Need you for just a minute, DiNozzo."

Tony watched Kate enter the elevator and the doors close behind her. "What's up, Boss?"

"I want you to get everything ready for Agent McGee. Get his desk ready, equipment, find out what HR needs."

Tony smiled. "You mean like I would do if I was your Senior Field Agent?" His eyes sparkled with just a hint of mischief, traces of his earlier despondence having completely disappeared. Once again, Gibbs marveled at the ability of DiNozzo to change his mood on a dime. Or at least according to outward appearances.

The younger man was persistent, Gibbs had to give him that. Tony brought it up at least once a week. But the older man needed to see how the team dynamics were going to change with McGee as a permanent addition before making that decision just yet. He knew Tony genuinely liked the junior agent, but what he didn't know was how well DiNozzo was going to be able to handle the obvious jealousy he felt towards the other man. Their rivalry could either make both of them better agents, or it could simply make the two men hate each other. _And me want to murder them both._

"I mean like you would do if I told you to, because I'm your boss." The words may have indicated a threat, but the tone conveyed just enough amusement to render them harmless.

"Right, Boss. Consider it done. Anything else?" He hadn't expected the ploy to work, but he wasn't going to let Gibbs forget either. Tony knew he could be very convincing when he set his mind to something. He'd even gotten a rare "good job" out of his boss on this case. _Two if you count the one that came with the suggestion that I pursue a second career as a delivery boy. But backhanded compliments don't count anymore. I want the real ones._

"Yeah, one more thing." Tony looked eager to follow his boss' next directive, but Gibbs was uncertain he would be so amenable when he heard the one more thing he had to say. "Having lousy parents doesn't mean you're going to _be _one."

Gibbs' blunt statement seemed to come out of nowhere and struck Tony hard. First, he hadn't realized that the other man had even been paying attention to his earlier conversation with Kate, though it now occurred to him that perhaps he should have known. Gibbs hears everything. Second, he was taken aback by how quickly Gibbs could blur the lines between the professional and the personal. _Correction. He only mixes the two when it involves _my _personal issues._ And finally, he was most shaken by the simple fact that Gibbs could see right through him. _How could I possibly be a good parent when I have no clue what one looks like? And how does Gibbs know what I'm thinking?_

In a flash of anger, the memory of a hushed conversation in Gibbs' basement when he had been at his most vulnerable sprung to mind, and Tony accused, "You promised not to bring that up again."

"You think that one story's the only clue you've ever given me that you had a crappy childhood?" Gibbs thought it best that he refrain from also explaining that it _had, _however, been the one to illuminate the meaning of all the other ambiguous and bizarre stories and references Tony had offered up over the past two years.

For some reason unknown even to himself, Tony made a feeble attempt to defend his parents. "It wasn't that bad. My father never had me kidnapped. I didn't go hungry. I got an education. I always had what I needed."

_Not everything you needed, Tony. _Surprisingly, Gibbs held up his hands in mock surrender, knowing it would be much easier to make his point to a Tony who wasn't on the defensive against him. "_Ok_, Tony. Just trying to tell you not to assume you'd be a bad father. I don't."

Tony responded with far less anger this time, offering simply an exasperated sigh. "Gibbs, I'm _awful_ with kids. You've seen me. I have no idea how to even talk to them."

"You weren't so bad with Sandy. "

"She was different. She's a sweet kid. Probably likes everybody. Every other kid hates me, I promise you." The unwelcome image of the kid he'd rescued in Baltimore, pure hatred and blame in his eyes, appeared in a flash, but then he was gone. "I'm not like you – great with children and awful with everybody else."

Gibbs raised his eyebrows at the comment. When it came to uncomfortable truths, Tony gave as good as he got.

"Oh, gosh, Boss." Now DiNozzo sounded truly contrite. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to sound like that."

"Yeah you did, DiNozzo. And it's the truth. I'm much better with kids than adults."

Noticeably more at ease, the younger man countered with, "But you didn't have any of your own. Kids, I mean. And it's worked out fine for you."

Kelly appeared once again. _No, Tony, nothing's turned out fine for me. _Still, he knew there was nothing in this world he would trade for those eight years with his daughter. He hated the idea that Tony would choose to miss out on that kind of love based solely on an unreasonable fear. "Don't be like me."

"I wasn't planning on it. For your information, I don't intend to get divorced three times. For one thing, I'd have to get married to get divorced, and I'm not planning to ever try that again, eith-" Suddenly realizing he'd said far too much, once again, he cut himself off. "You know, I don't know how you do that."

"Do what?"

"Get me to say stuff. You're a very sneaky man, Gibbs. I almost feel sorry for our suspects. "

"Wasn't trying to interrogate you, Tony," Gibbs replied with a knowing smirk. "Just making a point."

"Which is?"

"Not to close doors you may wish later you'd left open." Tony found himself wondering what kinds of doors his boss may have left closed. Or if the other man perhaps now regretted not having had any children. _Gibbs would have been a good father. In a quiet, slightly scary sort of way. _

"That have something to do with why you leave your front door unlocked, Boss? Have I told you how weird that is, by the way?"

_Tony's way of telling me I'm not getting anything else out of him tonight. _"Do I hear someone asking for a head slap?"

"Ah, that's my cue to leave. Night, Gibbs." As Tony was heading for the elevator, he impulsively stopped and added his own "one more thing," rapidly and careful not to make eye contact with the older man.

"And thanks for caring, Boss."


	2. Chapter 2 - States of Mind

**Episode filler and tag to "The Good Wives Club."**

**I've been asked how far I will continue with these. My answer: as long as I'm still inspired with things to write. I'd say that I feel confident that I see lots of inspiration through at least season 6. We haven't gotten as much good Gibbs and Tony stuff the last few seasons. Then again, by the time I get there, perhaps I will be excited to have more creative license to come up with my own stuff! So, we'll see.**

**States of Mind**

"Agent DiNozzo? Can you hear me?"

"Tony? Hey, Tony?"

There was a female voice he didn't recognize right away, then a male voice that sounded familiar. Young. Slightly frightened. _McGee? _Then there were hands – tapping his face, firmly but gently. But just then the throbbing started, and he briefly wondered if he could simply go back to sleep. Unfortunately, another, more demanding voice chose that moment to break through the fog.

"_DiNozzo! _Open your eyes!" That was a voice he definitely recognized. One that refused to be ignored. Knowing he couldn't _not _obey an order from his boss, Tony's eyes slowly fluttered open. There were three faces staring down at him: Gibbs, McGee, and Agent Melankovic. _Jane. As in "me Tony, you Jane." That was the female voice. _Someone seemed to be missing, but it wasn't coming to him right away and trying to remember just seemed like so much _work _right at the moment.

_Where am I and why is there a freight train tearing through the back of my head? _The presence of Agent Jane reminded him they were working a case. And they weren't at home. They were in Jacksonville. Missing women. Chains. Petty Officer Swain. _I found her and I was talking to Gibbs and then…nothing. She must've hit me with something. Why would she do that? And…wait a minute…where's Kate?_

"Kate?" he mumbled, hardly recognizing his own voice. "_Kate?"_ Now he was starting to panic. But when he tried to sit up, three sets of hands stopped him.

"Whoa, DiNozzo. Where do you think you're going? You don't move 'til the EMTs get here." _But, Boss, where's Kate?_

"Yeah, DiNozzo. Maybe one of them will be female. Think of all the attention you can suck up." _Kate. _She was teasing, but when he caught sight of her face he saw something else. Concern, possibly? She was holding up a very shaky, but miraculously alive, Barbara Swain. _Poor woman still looks terrified._

"What've we got?" That was a male voice, unidentified. _EMTs must be here._

"Petty Officer Barbara Swain over there. She's been held hostage in this room for months, chained up. Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo – he's one of mine. Looks like she hit him in the back of the head with a lamp. He was out cold when we got here, maybe a couple of minutes or so. Just regained consciousness."

There were two EMTs, and sure enough according to Kate's prediction, one of them female. Too bad his head was throbbing too badly to be charming. There was a light in his eye, then in the other. "Sir, we're going to have you sit up very slowly so we can look at your head, ok?"

Tony nodded in assent, then hissed loudly. _Big mistake. Note to self – do not move head unless absolutely necessary. _"Yeah, you've got a pretty nasty bump on the back of your head alright. Do you know where you are, sir?"

"Jacksonville Naval Air Station."

"What day is it?"

"It's Friday. And it's 2004 by the way. October 8th."

"Nausea, dizziness, blurred vision, headache?"

"You mean it's just a headache? Thought maybe a grenade went off inside my head or something."

"Sense of humor is good. Other than the bump on the head and the headache everything else seems normal, sir, but I'd recommend getting checked out just in case. Especially with a loss of consciousness."

Tony groaned. "No, really, I'll take something for the headache and put an ice bag on it and it'll be fine."

Gibbs was glaring at him, but Tony just dug his heels in further. _I am not going to the E/R in freakin' Jacksonville. I wanna go home. Seriously, a guy can't even get knocked out at home anymore?_

"_DiNozzo-"_

"Boss, c'mon. We still have to fly home. Who knows how long I'll be sitting in the E/R. We don't want to be stuck here an extra night."

"I can send Kate and McGee back and you and I can stay here."

"_No, _Boss. I really just want to sleep in my own bed. It's just a headache. I've had worse. You _know _I've had worse."

"Don't remind me. "

"Sir, I can't make you go to the hospital, but I do recommend that you have someone with you for the next 24 hours just in case your symptoms get worse. Do you live with someone?"

_Crap. _He was about to answer when Gibbs cut in. "I'll stay at his place tonight just in case. And I'll do a concussion check periodically." At this point, his boss fixed a piercing glare in his direction. "And if _anything _gets worse I'll march his butt to the E/R."

_MY place? Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why did I say that thing about sleeping in my own bed tonight?_

"Boss, you don't have to-"

"DiNozzo, you have three choices where to stay tonight. The E/R, my guest room, or your own bed with me sleepin' on your couch. Which one do you want?"

He seriously considered Gibbs' place until he remembered how Gibbs had somehow lured him to the basement and gotten him to spill his guts the last time. _Ok, maybe not lured, but he still planned it. I know he did. With this headache and this case and my teammates thinking I'm soooo much like our sicko kidnapper, who knows what I might say this time. _"Fine. My place. I guess I could sleep on the couch."

"No, you sleep in your own bed like you said. Couch is fine. I'll have work to catch up on and besides, I sleep under my boat half the time anyway, remember?" This got a curious look from both EMTs as they were leaving with Swain. Tony could have laughed, but that might accidentally move his head. And he would have to stand up in a few minutes. That was going to be enough torture.

_And it's only the afternoon still. I have to fly home, go back to work and probably finish up my report. And then go home. My home. With Gibbs. _

_I'm not so sure I'm gonna make it._

* * *

The flight home had been miserable, the throbbing in his head refusing to subside. While Kate and McGee had chattered away across the aisle from them, he and Gibbs had sat in total silence, Gibbs by the window because just the thought of being next to the bright light made him want to puke. Gibbs was pretending to read some sniper magazine, but Tony knew he was being watched. He didn't much care, sitting stone-faced and holding an ice bag to his head for all it was worth.

"You sure you don't want to stop at the E/R when we land?"

"I'm _sure_, Boss. It'll be _fine," _Tony growled.

"Yeah, DiNozzo? You might want to tell that to your face."

Tony responded with a Gibbs-style glare that did the older man proud.

"Fine, Tony. But skip writing up your report tonight. Monday's fine. You don't need to be staring at a computer screen." Tony wasn't about to argue with that reasoning.

"Unfortunately, we're gonna be in the office a while. Gotta get reports from Kate and McGee and wrap up with Agent Melankovic in MTAC."

_Jane. I didn't even get her number. I must really be injured. _"I know, Boss. Not a problem."

"Ducky's probably gone home, but I could call him to take a look at you – " It was unlike Gibbs to do more talking than Tony. Like the Earth had shifted off its axis. If he didn't know better, he'd even think his boss sounded sort of anxious.

"Don't bother Ducky. Let him enjoy his night off for a change."

Truthfully, they were _all _pretty relieved to not be escorting the body of Barbara Swain back to DC with them. And relieved that there was one less psycho on the loose.

And that was what had made the pounding in his head worth it.

* * *

_Maybe if I just pretend the headache is gone, Gibbs will change his mind and let me go home. Alone._

They were in MTAC wrapping things up with "Agent Jane," who was unfortunately back to being all business. Tony was making feeble attempts at flirting, but every time he attempted to smile, it came out as a grimace instead. If Melankovic didn't think he was nuts before, she was certain to now.

He _may _have been swaying slightly at one point. He wasn't quite certain. All he knew was that Gibbs stopped suddenly mid-meeting and huffed out an order. "Tony," and then nodding behind him at the group of chairs in the back of the room he commanded, "sit." Kate and McGee looked slightly surprised. He'd actually had them convinced he was feeling better, for maybe about a minute.

The meeting lasted an eternity. _The case is over, what can they be talking about for so long? With Gibbs leading the meeting, of all people. _Tony decided to shut his eyes just for a moment. Next thing he knew, someone was gently tapping him on the shoulder.

"Tony. Wake up. Time to go." _Gibbs._

"Boss? You're done already? What'd you do with Kate and McGee?"

"Probably halfway to the elevator by now. Time for us to go, too, DiNozzo. C'mon."

Tony stood up too quickly and found himself flailing his arms for something to grab to steady him, but there was nothing nearby but Gibbs, and he wasn't about to grab onto his boss. Instead, a strong arm reached out and grabbed him around the waist, holding him firmly upright . "Careful, Tony. You ok? Dizzy?"

"No, Boss. Just stood up too fast. Head rush. I'm fine." He tried a forced smile but gave up about halfway through the effort. Tony made his way up the ramp and out the doors, Gibbs trailing more closely behind him than was normal. He stopped just a minute when he got to the stairs and then very slowly made his way down. Proud of himself for making it down the stairs without incident, he reached his desk and went to grab his backpack.

"You were taking aspirin?" Gibbs was looking at the still-open bottle on his desk, the little white pills scattered over the surface. "DiNozzo you're not supposed to take aspirin if you might have a concussion. What were you thinking?"

_Oh, yeah. Not supposed to take aspirin or ibuprofen. _"Uh, I only took one, Boss. It was the only thing I had around and I was kind of desperate."

Gibbs sighed. "Do you have any Tylenol at home, or do we need to stop on the way?" Tony just looked at him sheepishly. "Never mind. I'll stop at the drug store. You _can _take Tylenol, right?"

"Yes. No loopiness, I promise."

They started to head out when Gibbs stopped. "Where's your ice pack?"

"I think I ditched it somewhere…"

"You mean when you were _pretending_ your head wasn't still throbbing? We'll get you another one of those, too. I know where Ducky keeps 'em." _Mostly for you, DiNozzo_. "C'mon. Time to go home."

Tony never thought he'd be thinking of the words "mother hen" in conjunction with Gibbs, _ever._ Until now.

Not only had the Earth shifted from its axis, but they'd entered an alternate universe.

* * *

They made it to Tony's apartment now armed with a bottle of Tylenol and a new cold pack.

Gibbs took in the appearance of Tony's apartment, recalling that it had looked much different the one and only other time he'd been there, dropping the younger man off after the month or so he'd had to stay at his place. At that time, there had been boxes and furniture scattered throughout the living room, signs that Tony had probably just recently removed the rest of his items from storage.

Now, the place was neat, almost even sparse. Tastefully decorated. Gibbs couldn't help remembering how much Tony knew about the 50's style furniture that had been found with Carolyn Figgus' remains. And there was a piano in the living room, one which Gibbs suddenly wondered if Tony knew how to play. He almost asked, but remembering how uncomfortable the younger man seemed by his presence there, thought better of asking too many personal questions.

"I'll get you a pillow and blanket and everything, Boss. I'm sorry I don't really have a guest room. Are you sure you don't want the bed?" One look told him the other man was sure. "Right, Boss."

He returned with a pillow, set of sheets and a blanket. "Here you go. Need anything else, Boss? I'd offer you something to eat or drink, but unless you want beer or…" He almost said Scotch but thought he'd better leave that out. "Or water, that's about all I've got."

"I'm fine, DiNozzo. Take your Tylenol and go to bed. I've got it covered."

"Yeah, ok. Are you really gonna do a concussion check every hour?"

"Yes, Tony, I really am. And don't even think about arguing. You're lucky I didn't make you go to the E/R."

After downing a couple of Tylenol, Tony wandered off towards the bedroom mumbling to himself. Gibbs thought he caught something about ex-Marines and people blowing things way out of proportion.

He chuckled to himself before settling down on the couch to read through his team's case reports. Minus one from a young man who was hopefully well on his way towards being fast asleep.

* * *

Gibbs had gotten through Kate's case report with ease. He loved reading Agent Todd's reports. They were concise, well-written, and contained all the necessary information. And _only _the necessary information.

Unfortunately, now it was time to read Agent McGee's case report. Having received reports from McGee in the past, he had expected it to be detailed. But not quite this detailed.

_Geez, McGee, I could read "War and Peace" quicker than this. _He realized Tony must have screened the past reports he'd received from the younger agent and told him what to eliminate. No such luck tonight. His boss half expected the report to include a detailed account of each of the junior agent's meals and trips to the head for the duration of the case. He had to take one break in order to do Tony's concussion check, which the younger man had grumbled through but passed with relative ease.

Gibbs settled back down to read the last few pages of the report:

_Agent DiNozzo, Agent Melankovic, and I were instructed to search the home of Chaplain Evans after his suicide for any clues pertaining to the whereabouts of Petty Officer Swain. While Agent Melankovic searched for evidence, Agent DiNozzo watched DVDs of a show called "Ozzie and Harriet" found in the suspect's home. DiNozzo said he owned the box set as well and was watching the show for insight into the mind of the suspect. I located a set of love letters hidden under the settee which I began to read through. Then Agent Melankovic discovered that the suspect kept a dark room in his closet. After they had exchanged words, she and Agent DiNozzo located the suspect's camera equipment in the closet and we began to search for pictures. I continued to read the love letters aloud and Agent DiNozzo noted that they sounded like the recordings of someone named Nelson Eddy (sp?), apparently not of the same Nelsons that made the "Ozzie and Harriet" show and that he also owned a collection of Nelson Eddy's forgotten recordings. When I pointed out that Agent DiNozzo and Chaplain Evans seemed to share many areas of mutual interest, Agent DiNozzo became quite agitated. However, it was then that he somehow had the idea to take apart Chaplain Evans' record player and there located the photo album showing him with his alleged victims, two of which had been heretofore unidentified. I sent the prints and negative to our forensic scientist, Abigail Sciuto, for further analysis…._

In the rush to locate Barbara Swain which had followed, Gibbs had forgotten that he'd been told it was Tony who had located the photo album inside Evans' record player. He'd meant to ask the younger man where he could have possibly come up with the idea to look there. This was often where Tony excelled – finding clues in places others would have never thought to look – but usually Gibbs could figure out his reasoning, even if after the fact. Agent McGee's report left him more curious than ever. Were there so many perceived similarities between Tony and Brett Evans that DiNozzo had become hypersensitive about it? Was that how Tony somehow discovered the location of the album? Worse yet, was Tony once again comparing himself with a psychopath? It had not been so long ago that the younger man had been comparing his own qualifications to be a parent with those of a man who had paid to have his wife and daughter kidnapped. But if he was comparing himself with Brett Evans – well, Gibbs couldn't just let that pass.

That kind of thinking could lead Tony down a very dark path. And an undeserved one. Whatever the younger man's self-esteem issues, Gibbs knew Tony was a good man, one who put his life on the line every day to help people like Barbara Swain. One who would gladly take a blow to the head, or worse, if it meant saving a life. Sometimes, he just needed someone to remind him.

* * *

DiNozzo. Wake up. Concussion check. What day is it?"

"Mmmm…Saturday, Boss. Has to be by now. Early. Still October 2004. I'm home in my bed. Dying to go back to sleep. Head is pounding again though."

Amazingly, Gibbs had understood that string of words his host had just mumbled his way through. "Need more Tylenol, Tony? What'd you do with it?"

"Think I left it in the kitchen, Boss. Dumb….I'll go get it…"

"No, DiNozzo. Stay here. I'll bring it to you."

Gibbs located the bottle of pills on the counter quickly, but decided Tony would probably appreciate some water to wash it down with. Without even thinking, he started looking through cabinets, finally locating the glasses, but also noticing the bottle of Scotch Tony had stashed away, over half empty.

He tried telling himself that lots of people liked their whiskey, but something about this bothered him. In spite of his own habit of drowning his darker thoughts in a bottle of bourbon, it didn't seem quite right for Tony. It was unsettling to think of the younger man sitting here alone in this apartment trying to fight his demons with liquor. He shook himself from those thoughts when it occurred to him that Tony would be expecting him back with his pain medicine by now.

"You get lost, Boss?"

"Not likely, DiNozzo. Was just looking for a glass." He handed Tony two pills and a glass of water, taken eagerly by the younger man.

"You brought water, too. Thanks, Boss. You're a good nurse."

By the time Gibbs realized what his charge had just said, likely due to a sleep-induced alteration of his mental state, the younger man was already asleep.

_Lucky for you, DiNozzo. Doubt you'd enjoy a headslap right now._

* * *

While he wasn't generally one for snooping, something had led Gibbs back to the kitchen to check Tony's refrigerator. For one thing, he wondered if the other man kept any food in the house which could actually qualify as a meal. Upon opening the refrigerator, he realized the answer was no, and therefore planned a quick trip to the store early the next morning. For once, Tony was going to have something besides doughnuts and fast food for breakfast.

He had also impulsively opened the freezer. _Frozen dinners and frozen pizzas. So that's what he eats when he doesn't go out._ Shaking his head, Gibbs had headed back to the couch to try and get some sleep himself.

The next morning, Tony woke to the smell of his boss making scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast.

"Boss? What are you doing?" Tony asked as we wandered into the kitchen.

Gibbs smiled proudly. "Making breakfast, DiNozzo. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"I can see that. But, why?" the younger man inquired with a puzzled frown.

"I was hungry," Gibbs replied matter-of-factly. " Sit down."

Even in his own home, Gibbs was still the boss. Tony sat at the table, secretly eager to dig in to the delicious-smelling meal being set before him.

"Here. Got coffee, too. How's the head?" Tony appeared barely awake, but the lines of pain in his face seemed to have eased somewhat.

Sleepily, Tony responded, "Head's down the hall."

"Yeah, I found that last night. I meant _your _head, DiNozzo?" Gibbs wasn't sure if he should be amused or worried.

"Oh, right. _That _head. Sorry. It's better, actually. Just hurts a little bit now. Hey, I didn't know you could cook, Boss. I mean other than your special form of grilling."

Gibbs shrugged. "Had to learn if I wanted to eat. _I _can't live on frozen dinners and pizza."

"Told you I didn't really have much food in the house. I eat out a lot."

"Yes, I gathered that, Tony. Wouldn't have guessed you washed down the frozen pizza with Scotch, though." After the words were out, Gibbs wondered if he was wise to even bring it up. But it had been weighing on his mind since the previous night. He was hoping for some explanation from the younger man that would ease his concerns.

A brief look of guilt flashed across Tony's face, mixed with something else he couldn't quite pinpoint. "Guess you saw that when you were looking for a glass, huh? It was a gift from my father. Right up there with the power sander."

"Most of it's gone. Your father give it to you half empty?" Tony's expression told him all he needed to know. "Didn't think so."

"Before you even think about lecturing me, let me remind you that I know you keep a bottle of bourbon in your basement," Tony responded rather testily.

"Wasn't gonna lecture you, Tony. I know what this job can do to a person. Just hoping you don't make a habit out of it."

"I've had that bottle two years. Does that answer your question?"

"Didn't ask. But, yeah, it makes me feel better." Tony stopped and looked at his boss quizzically, the thought occurring to him that the last statement seemed out-of-place coming from Gibbs. Remembering the way his boss had nearly fussed over him last night, DiNozzo wasn't quite sure what to make of this never-before-seen version of Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

"You didn't have to stay and make breakfast, but thanks. I think I'm on the road to recovery now though." It was a not-so-subtle hint that the other man was free to leave at any time, but Gibbs just gave him a searching look and smiled slightly. He wasn't leaving just yet.

"Glad to hear that. So, what in the world made you think to look in the record player, DiNozzo?"

No one could shift gears quite as abruptly as Gibbs. Tony actually had to think for a few seconds to catch up. "Oh, that? I just, uh, happened to remember that I used to hide things in my record player when I was a kid."

Gibbs had figured the answer would be something like that, though he had to suppress an urge to ask the younger man what kinds of things he'd felt he needed to hide. "Was that before or after you got angry with McGee for suggesting you had a lot in common with Brett Evans?"

Tony's face hardened in anger immediately. "McGee put _that _in his report? He had no business! That had nothing at all to do with the case."

His boss had expected a reaction, but this one was more extreme than he'd imagined. "McGee needs to learn to shrink his case reports by at least half. And, yeah, that really didn't belong. But obviously it bothered you. You wanna tell me why?"

"Gee, I don't know, Boss. I just _love _it when my teammates compare me with a sick, psycho serial killer who chains up women and leaves them to die!" By now, Tony was so infuriated, he'd gotten up from the table mid-meal and stormed into the living room. Gibbs gave him a minute to collect himself before following.

"What do you mean by 'teammates,' Tony? Did Kate say something too?"

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, his agent answered the question with, "You mean you missed Kate's snide remarks about me understanding the part where the victims didn't live up to Evans' expectations? Oh, and you weren't there when I explained to the Probie that I was reading the 'Good Wives Guide' to understand Evans' state of mind and he said it explained more about _my _state of mind. What kind of person do they think I am, anyway?"

Gibbs was now the one feeling a surge of anger. He knew Kate and McGee had thought they were simply teasing DiNozzo, but they'd hit a nerve, and he was frustrated that they didn't exercise better judgment instead of teasing Tony where it hurt. McGee, he supposed, still barely knew Tony. But Kate should surely know better by now. "They don't think you're like Brett Evans, Tony. No one thinks that. _You _don't believe that, do you?"

Tony drew in a slightly shaky breath. "No, not really, Boss. But sometimes I think there's something _wrong _with me."

"Wrong with you how?"

"Don't you think it's weird that I like the same music and tv shows as this guy? And we used the exact same hiding place?"

"I'm sure you aren't the only two people to hide stuff in your record player. And there's nothing wrong with 'Ozzie and Harriet.' "

"But Kate said he was trying to create the perfect relationship like what he'd seen on tv. And I used to watch those shows and imagine what it would be like…"

"What _what _would be like?"

"Having a family like that," Tony said softly.

Gibbs sighed. "No family is that perfect, Tony. Not even the best ones. It's a fantasy. But it's one that a lot of people have. Nothing wrong with that. Doesn't make you like Evans."

"No." Tony laughed nervously. "But you have to admit that I'm just a little screwed up."

Gibbs chose his next words carefully. "I think you've been carrying around a lot of stuff for a long time. And maybe you do think a little differently. If you didn't, we might never have found Petty Officer Swain. But you use what you've got to do good, Tony. And that's why you aren't like Evans and never will be."

"Good people go bad sometimes." His expression held an unspoken question, like he was looking to Gibbs for some sort of confirmation.

"_Weak_ people. Not you, Tony." Gibbs could tell the words registered with he other man, though he wasn't perhaps completely convinced. "You gonna finish eating? Cause judging by the looks of your refrigerator, it's the first decent breakfast you've had in years."

"Sorry, Boss. Didn't mean to insult your cooking or anything. It's actually pretty good." Smiling, Tony made his way back to the table, followed by Gibbs.

A few minutes after they'd settled back down at the table, Tony asked casually, "So, what'd you think of the rest of McGee's case report?" Gibbs could tell from his grin that he was back to a joking mood.

"I think if you don't teach him to get to the point, the next one's gonna accidentally end up in my fireplace."

Tony was practically grinning from ear to ear. He'd been letting his jealousy get the better of him lately, culminating in a heated discussion he'd had with McGee in the car a couple of days prior. Regardless of whether or not the younger man had meant all the things he'd said about not wanting Tony's job and about Tony being Gibbs' right-hand man, one thing was certain from the look currently on his boss' face.

_Nope, McGee won't be taking my place anytime soon._

* * *

Later that evening, well after Gibbs had left finally satisfied that he was out-of-the-woods, Tony dug out his DVDs of _The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet_, hoping he could pinpoint the reason why both he and Brett Evans would be drawn to the same things.

About an hour-and-a-half into the project, he finally had an epiphany of sorts. Kate had said that Evans was trying to create his fantasy of a perfect relationship. Apparently, Evans' perfect world involved having someone who was completely subservient to him, there to serve his every need, wish, and desire without a requirement for him to do anything in return.

_But that isn't what it's about. He completely missed the point. It's about family. It's about people doing things for each other and being there for each other because they want to. Because they love each other. Cause that's what families are supposed to do. That's why I'm drawn to it._

_And that's why I'm not like Evans._

His thoughts turned to his teammates. Kate and McGee had probably never had to fantasize about being surrounded by a loving family. Because they'd both had one, regardless of the minor complaints they'd shared about nosy, bossy siblings or strict parents. _That's why they don't get it._

_But Gibbs does. _

Once again, Tony had shared far more than he'd ever intended to with the older man. But this time, instead of feeling regretful or uncomfortable, he simply felt relieved. Like some small piece of the weight he felt himself under had lifted. Like maybe someone else was finally helping him carry it.

As he remembered they way Gibbs had looked after him over the past day, he tried to recall the last time someone had truly taken care of him. Not because they were hired to or because they owed him something, but just because they wanted to. He guessed it hadn't been since Wendy . And before that, maybe since before he'd lost his mother.

And for all the reluctance he'd felt to share intensely personal things with Gibbs, he had to admit that it felt sort of _good _that someone had simply listened to him. Maybe even understood him just a tiny bit. He knew he had no right to make the comparison that forced its way into his conscious mind.

_Sort of like family._


	3. Chapter 3 - Partners

**Filler and tag for "Vanished."**

**This is a combination of scenes between different character pairings: McGee/Tony, Kate/Tony, Kate/McGee, and Gibbs/Tony, but with sort of a common theme.**

"**Partners"**

A road trip with one very ticked-off Probie was not anywhere near the top of Tony's list of things he'd wanted to do today, yet here he found himself driving back to DC from Smoky Corners, West Virginia with a pouty Agent McGee in the passenger seat.

This case was trying everyone's patience, particularly the continued hours-long drives back and forth between their crime scenes in West Virginia, or "the sticks" as he'd affectionately begun to think of it, and the Navy Yard. Though you'd never know it, Tony was perhaps the most frustrated of all. He never thought he'd be longing for a few hours in the car with Gibbs, but since most of his trips had required him to be paired with either Kate or McGee, the thought now occurred to him that a quiet ride with his boss, in spite of the fear for his life which often accompanied those trips, would still be a welcome reprieve. At least that form of silence had become somewhat comfortable, unlike the current tension, so thick he was practically having difficulty breathing.

After the Brett Evans case, where his more junior partners had continually compared him with their suspect, Tony had decided to handle the situation by attempting to get to know his teammates a bit better. And, he hoped, in turn to give them an opportunity to learn that he truly was not psychotic. Unfortunately, it seemed no matter what he did, he was offending one of them, and the long hours in close proximity had greatly exacerbated the situation. Not one to be easily discouraged, Tony decided to try again with the Probie.

"So, it looks like Sikes left his trailer in a hurry. What do you think happened?"

McGee looked up at him briefly, as if considering whether or not to answer, and then sullenly turned back towards the window. Still, Tony charged forward.

"And, what could the connection be to Captain Newell? _Is _there a connection with our missing Captain? C'mon, Probie, what's your theory?"

"Gee, Tony, I don't know why you're asking _me_. Like you said, you will always outrank me. Shouldn't you be the one coming up with the theory?"

_Still mad at me. _Tony had played what he'd felt was a good-natured prank on the other man. It had been aimed as much at Abby as McGee. Her obsession with crop circles and aliens, paired with McGee's obsession with doing anything to please her, had been providing ample entertainment since the beginning of this case. The alien mask had been easy to find, what with Halloween coming up in a few weeks, and when he'd realized Abby had tricked McGee into searching the field for "evidence" of the paranormal, Tony simply couldn't pass up the opportunity. He had expected the younger man to be slightly annoyed at first, but had hoped the annoyance would turn to amusement eventually, and maybe even the chance to talk McGee into transferring the joke onto Abby. But unfortunately, McGee had simply seen the prank as yet another occurrence of Tony trying to demean and demoralize him. _At least it made Kate lighten up. For like 30 seconds._

"It was a joke, McGee. That's what teammates do. They joke, they tease, they laugh. They play pranks on each other. Haven't you ever seen "Stakeout"?" McGee's expression remained blank. "And, in case you haven't noticed, Gibbs makes fun of me all the time. And so does Kate."

"Not the way you do," Tim grumbled.

"Okay, I'll admit that my sense of humor takes some getting used to. But, really, Probie, I mean it when I say you need to learn to lighten up."

"Oh, so now _I'm _the one with the problem?"

"Partially, yeah. Look, I've been in law enforcement a lot longer than you have and – "

"Yes, so you love to keep reminding me."

"If you'd let me _finish_ here, I'm actually trying to help you. I've seen a lot of really bad stuff, McGee, and you will too. You can't be so serious all the time, cause it'll drive you nuts. The pranks might seem dumb to you, but believe me, one day when you wrap up a case and the missing kid you've been searching for for days turns up dead and you have to tell the grieving parents you didn't get there in time, then you'll be thanking me for giving you a few moments in this job that don't totally suck."

McGee's expression had turned from irritation to amazement as he took in the meaning behind Tony's words. "Has that _happened_ to you? I mean, finding a child, _that way?_"

"You mean _dead, _McGee?" Tony realized that had come out more harshly than he'd intended, so he made an effort to soften his tone before continuing. "Not since I've been with NCIS, but before, yeah. It's happened. And it stays with you, believe me."

"Wow, I'm… sorry, Tony. That's awful."

"All I'm trying to say is just…..try to _laugh_ every now and then, Probie. It'll do you some good."

"I laugh. Abby makes me laugh all the time."

Tony smiled. "I'll bet she does. By the way, just so you know, that new tat she promised to show you for helping find all the alien stuff that isn't there? It's on her ankle. Kate told me."

"Her ankle?" McGee said in obvious disappointment. "Are you sure?"

"No, but I tend to believe Kate. You know how they talk."

"Yeah. I keep trying to tell Abby that crop circles are a hoax…"

"And yet you still say 'How high' every time she says 'Jump.'"

"I do not!"

"What do you call it, Probie? Seriously, I hate to say it cause Abby's my friend, but I think she's jerking you around a little bit. And you're letting her." Tony realized immediately he'd screwed things up again, just when it had seemed the hurt feelings had been smoothed over.

"Well, thanks, DiNozzo, but I really don't need your advice about Abby. I took my own advice last time instead of listening to yours and it worked out just fine, so I think I'll just ignore you again, thank you very much."

Tony sighed in frustration and decided it was time to drop it. For now.

_Ok, Probie. But don't say I didn't try to warn you._

* * *

Once again, Tony had made the trek to Smoky Corners, this time with Kate as his companion. He was tired, and he'd crossed the line on their journey here by suggesting that his partner was perhaps "PMSing" as a way to explain her testy behavior regarding his every move. She had not been amused, but he'd received a reprieve when they'd come across Daphne Everett at the site of Greg Sikes' trailer, looking for her boyfriend. Sadly, they had broken the news to her that he was dead, likely at the hands of her father who it seemed had roughed her up a bit as well. The three of them were now settled in the trailer to await the arrival of Gibbs and McGee, and Kate had convinced the young woman, who was also 5 months pregnant, to lie down and get some rest.

"How's Daphne," Tony asked.

"Upset. Scared. Alone. But hopefully she can get some sleep now that we're here. Did you get a hold of Gibbs?"

"Yep. He and McGee are on their way here." It would take them at least a couple of hours to arrive, even with Gibbs' driving. Figuring he may as well try to relax himself for a while, Tony started to take his shoes off.

"Ewww, Tony. Are you seriously taking off your shoes?"

"Well, _excuse _me, Kate, but since we're gonna be here a while, I thought we could maybe take a break from being so uptight for just a few minutes."

"So, I'm being _uptight_ just because I don't want to smell your stinky socks?"

"Feel free to take your shoes off, too. I won't complain."

"You know what? I think I'll just….leave the room. Let me know when Gibbs gets here."

_I can't win. _"It's a trailer, Kate. Where are you gonna go?"

"As far away from your feet as possible."

"No, Kate, don't go anywhere. I'll put my shoes back on." Reluctantly, Tony did as promised. Kate kept a suspicious eye on him before taking a nearby seat and pulling out a magazine to read while they were waiting.

Tony realized his partner wasn't in the mood to talk to him and he had absolutely nothing to do. He pulled out his phone to begin playing a game, but Kate looked up in irritation at the noise. Finally, he'd had enough.

"You know what, Kate. Someone should probably keep watch outside. Just in case."

"DiNozzo, that's the best idea you've had all day. And clearly it should be you, since Daphne is more comfortable with me."

Already in the process of standing up, Tony responded, "For once we agree. I was just going to suggest the same thing. I'll be on the porch if you need me."

"Don't get shot." She was wearing the smug smile, the one that said _I won. _At least Tony was getting to know her better in some ways. He had names for most of her facial expressions now. Most of them involved being angry with him.

With a sardonic smile in return, he walked out the door and settled down in the porch chair. Tony wasn't generally a nature lover, but the birds' company was looking more and more attractive by the minute.

* * *

"You don't know how relieved I am to be riding back with you." After a wild ride to Smoky Corners yesterday evening with Gibbs at the wheel, and a full day spent there today before Captain Newell had finally turned himself in, McGee had been thrilled when Gibbs had decided that he and Tony would escort Newell back to DC, leaving him to ride back with Kate.

"Oh, that's right. You got to experience Gibbs' driving. And you lived to tell about it," Kate teased with a knowing smile.

"Barely. Does he always drive like that?"

"Oh, no. Sometimes it's worse." McGee groaned in response, causing Kate to chuckle. "I'm glad to have a break from DiNozzo, too."

"You're mad at him, too? What'd he do to you?"

"I'm not really _mad _at him. He's just driving me crazy the past few days. Why are you mad at him?"

"You saw that stupid prank he pulled on me with the alien mask."

"_That?_ Oh, c'mon, McGee. You have to admit it was just a little bit funny. He wasn't trying to be mean."

"He's awfully good at it, for someone who isn't trying."

"Tony's just still stuck in his college fraternity. You know, trying to relive the days of his youth. He's hazing you. Like one of his frat brothers."

"He said I needed to lighten up. I do have a sense of humor, you know."

"I don't doubt that, McGee. You have to give Tony credit for keeping things interesting, though."

"I suppose," the young man reluctantly admitted. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, McGee." Kate was slightly flattered thinking the junior agent was about to ask for her advice.

"Is Abby's tattoo really on her ankle?"

_Not the question I was expecting. _"Uh, yeah, McGee it is. I guess Tony told you?"

"I never know when to believe him."

"Well, he's telling you the truth this time. Abby never said where it was. You're the investigator. You have to learn to start asking the right questions."

_DiNozzo was right, _he thought with dismay. The only thing more upsetting than that was the realization that he'd been played.

By Abby.

* * *

After having been in hiding for days, Captain Newell had fallen asleep in the back seat of the sedan almost immediately.

Tony understood the temptation, feeling the exhaustion himself, both mental and physical. Instead of trying to sleep, he'd settled for leaning his head against the headrest and staring out the window. Not in such a rush this time, Gibbs' driving was much more subdued than when he'd had McGee as a passenger.

"Everything ok, DiNozzo?"

"Fine. Why do you ask, Boss?"

"You're not talking. Usually means something's wrong or you're asleep. And your eyes are open."

"I'm afraid to speak. I might offend someone."

"Kate, again?"

"Kate, McGee. Take your pick. Think they've both had enough of me."

"We've got time, Tony. Tell me what happened."

"Well, McGee's pretty easy to explain I guess. He just apparently hates my sense of humor and thinks I'm trying to make his life hell for my own personal pleasure."

"He'll figure it out. Give him time, Tony."

"I tried to explain to him why he needs to not be so serious all the time in a job like this one."

"And? Did it get through?"

"I thought so but then…" Tony had almost added the part of the conversation involving Abby, but realizing who he was talking to, he stopped himself in time. Gibbs had a special soft spot for the forensic scientist and Tony wasn't sure how he'd react to anything that might be considered a criticism of her behavior. "….I just think he's still upset with me."

"And what's going on with Kate?"

"Kate. Well, let's see, she just pretty much hates _everything _about me. I can't move without annoying her. Can't clip my nails or take my shoes off for a few minutes. It seems that I've gotten too 'comfortable' around her and that is a criminal activity, no matter how many long days we have to spend together in close quarters, because I'm supposed to be on my very best behavior every second of the day."

Gibbs thought back to his own partnership with Mike Franks. Long days spent together, sometimes trips overnight. They had been like brothers, establishing an easy rapport and familiarity with each other. For the first time, the Lead Agent realized that had probably been what Tony had become used to in Baltimore with his partner.

"Kate isn't Danny Price. You can't expect her to act the same way."

Tony visibly stiffened. "If you don't mind, Boss, I'd rather not ever hear that name again."

_Over three years, and he still can't talk about it. _For a betrayal to cut that deep, an equally deep trust and friendship must have been in existence. Now Gibbs was beginning to understand what Tony must have been missing over the past three years. It had taken this long for him to get Tony even somewhat comfortable with _him._ There hadn't been any real stability on their team until Kate had joined a year ago. Now, Gibbs had a team in place that, from a diversity of skills standpoint, was nearly perfect, one that he intended to keep intact for the long-term. Unfortunately, from a personality standpoint, he probably couldn't have picked three people any more different from each other. Tony was the only one of the three with a true law enforcement background. The young man was trying to reestablish something he'd had in other police departments with two people to whom the concept was almost completely foreign.

"I just meant that you can't remake Kate into one of your police department buddies. Maybe you're going about this the wrong way, Tony."

"Obviously, Boss. But I'm all out of ideas. Any suggestions?"

That was a tough one for Gibbs. He'd only had a female partner once himself, and Jenny had been….not Kate. And he'd completely mishandled that situation, hence the birth of Rule 12. And the thought of Rule 12 had Gibbs wondering how close he should even encourage Tony to get to his partner, though he couldn't honestly imagine two people as different as DiNozzo and Kate being tempted to break that particular rule. Still, stranger things had happened.

Nevertheless, while his two agents had come a long way in a year from where they had begun, there was still a lot to be desired in the partnership. They'd learned to tolerate each other, but were nowhere near understanding each other.

"Kate's stubborn. You can't just force her to accept your ways. You gotta give her a little of what she wants too."

"If I _knew _what she wanted, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Can't help much there. Divorced three times, remember, DiNozzo?"

"Oh, yeah. Forgot about that for a second there, Boss."

"So, what do you do when you're trying to get in the head of a suspect?"

"Very good thinking, Boss. Treat her like a suspect. I like it."

"Didn't say that, Tony. Don't put words in my mouth."

Now Tony was laughing. "But Boss, someone has to fill in the gaps."

It was good that the younger man was laughing. But for some reason, Gibbs had a bad feeling about how Tony was going to proceed with the advice he'd just provided.

* * *

All of them exhausted, they'd finally arrived at the Navy Yard. It was late and they were all getting ready to go to their homes for what they sincerely hoped would be a full night's sleep. Kate had made a stop in the ladies' room and Tony was at his desk wrapping up just a couple of things. Suddenly, he noticed Kate's purse sitting on top of her desk. Her PDA was sticking out just slightly. _Her PDA. A wealth of information about Caitlin Todd. If she was a suspect, I'd be all over that. _

He looked around and, when convinced he was alone in the bullpen, he quietly made his way over to her purse, carefully pulling out the PDA. He decided to start with her contacts. _Hmmm. I don't see Dwayne's name in here. Come to think of it, she hasn't mentioned him or having a date in a while. They must've broken up. Maybe that's why she's been in such a bad mood. _Scrolling down the list, he stopped at something that caught his attention. _Martha's Garden Florists. Flowers. That's it! And she must really like them if they are in her contacts…_

"DiNozzo! What do you think you're doing?"

"Boss! Uh, I was just…."

"Put Kate's PDA back in her purse. Now!"

"But, Boss.."

"Now, DiNozzo! I thought you were trying to make things better, not worse. You better not even be thinking about using something you found in there, got it?"

"Got it." Tony put the PDA back in its place before Kate got back and caught him.

_Gibbs doesn't know what I looked at. And Kate will just think it's a coincidence. Or that maybe she mentioned Martha's Garden to me before and I am just especially observant. Which works in my favor…_

* * *

Kate's expression turned from delighted to furious the minute Gibbs revealed that Tony had found the number for Martha's Garden by going through her PDA. Gibbs had expected her to be briefly angry with Tony, teaching him a lesson about disobeying his orders and going through Kate's things. Had he known what was going to occur next, though, he wouldn't have said anything at all to Kate.

In a display of pure spite, Kate took the lovely flowers out of their vase and unceremoniously dumped them into the trash, looking at Tony all the while. Then she marched out of the room, presumably heading towards the break room to cool off.

McGee, wide-eyed and stunned, looked from Tony to Gibbs and back again. Tony was wearing an almost devastated expression of hurt and surprise, while Gibbs, no longer laughing, was actually looking almost remorseful. The junior agent decided to slink back to his desk in the corner to avoid whatever else might be coming.

Once Tony recovered, he turned on Gibbs, completely forgetting the presence of Agent McGee. "Why did you tell her?" he accused.

"Because I told you not to go through Kate's things, and not for the first time, and I specifically told you not to use something you got off her PDA and you did it anyway, DiNozzo. You don't think she'd have figured it out on her own when she had time to think about it?"

Tony couldn't really argue with anything Gibbs had said. He had hoped that Kate would love the flowers so much that she wouldn't care where he'd gotten the information. But obviously he'd underestimated how much Kate valued her privacy. Somewhat petulantly, he said, "She didn't have to throw them away. They're perfectly nice flowers. And I meant for them to make her happy."

Feeling slightly guilty still, Gibbs advised, "Just stay away from her for a while. Let her cool off. It'll blow over."

Tony looked over sadly toward the flowers, stems pointing upwards in the trash. _Maybe I can get her more flowers from someplace else to say "I'm sorry" for these flowers…Or maybe flowers are just a bad idea. _

"Boss, maybe I should get her some coffee?"

"That's a good idea, DiNozzo. Go."

While Tony made his coffee run, McGee had an idea as to how he might be able to improve the situation. Making his way to the break room, he found Kate sitting there, arms folded.

"Hey."

"Hey, McGee." She smiled slightly at the younger man and nodded towards a chair. "Can you believe him? I thought he was actually doing something nice for a change."

"Uh, well, yeah that was pretty bad going through your PDA and everything. But actually, I think he _was _trying to do something nice. And I think you kind of hurt his feelings when you threw the flowers in the trash."

Kate appeared interested. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, he's out getting you coffee. But, please don't tell him I told you. I think he'd kill me."

"Really?"

McGee nodded. "Yeah. He seemed pretty upset."

_Maybe I overreacted. _"Thanks, McGee. I won't let on that I know."

When she arrived back at her desk, she stopped at the trash can, empty except for the flowers she'd recently dumped there, and carefully gathered them and arranged them as best she could back in the vase they'd arrived in. She then stood back and admired them. _Maybe just a little worse for wear, but still beautiful. _ Then Gibbs caught her eye and gave her an approving smile. She smiled back at him, her anger almost completely forgotten.

A few minutes later, Tony arrived with the coffee. Taking a deep breath and trying to come up with something to say that wouldn't make her angrier, he stopped in front of her desk only to discover to both his surprise and delight that the flowers had been restored.

Kate looked at him expectantly. "You got coffee, Tony?" She noticed how happy he looked as he studied the flowers.

"Uh, yeah, this one's for you, Kate."

She graciously accepted the coffee and took a sip. "Mmmm. Thanks, Tony. Just how I like it."

_Finally. I got something right._


	4. Chapter 4 - Letting Go

**Filler and episode tag for "Lt. Jane Doe."**

**Letting Go**

It was with a heavier heart than usual that Gibbs left autopsy and stepped into the elevator. He'd finally gotten the truth – the _whole _truth – from his ME, and more importantly his _friend, _regarding the older man's recent reticence and odd behavior, but the truth was hardly satisfying. Ducky had been carrying an unknown burden for the past decade, unable to find either answers or justice for a still-unidentified young woman. And now, even worse, another unidentified woman had been apparently victimized by the same perpetrator. Gibbs understood what it meant to carry an unreasonable guilt, and was now more determined than ever to do whatever it took to find justice for both women. And, hopefully, some form of closure for his friend.

By the time he returned to the bullpen, his team's area was mostly empty. He had been so wrapped up in Ducky's story that he hadn't even realized how late it had gotten. One desk, however, still had an occupant, and as the Team Leader walked in, he noticed Tony watching him curiously. But, to his surprise, the younger man didn't verbalize whatever question was at the forefront of his thinking.

"What's on your mind, Tony?" Gibbs was becoming something of an expert at detecting Tony's varied moods, even as he was still trying to learn to read the thoughts behind those moods.

"How's Ducky?" The genuine concern was apparent on DiNozzo's face, as was the unspoken request. _Tell me what's going on, Boss._

Gibbs was uncertain if he should burden Tony with the details a day early, since the entire team would certainly be learning them tomorrow. But, if his agent had remained behind with the sole purpose of inquiring after Doctor Mallard's state of wellbeing, then he deserved to know. "Haunted by an old case. This one fits the same MO as a rape and murder case from ten years ago. Ducky worked it with another agent. They never identified the Jane Doe."

Tony frowned, processing the details and the full implications behind them. "Wow. Ten years. That's a long time."

"Remains were cremated. Ducky's been holding onto them the whole time. Only victim he's never been able to identify." Gibbs felt a slight sense of remorse at sharing so much, but he knew if anyone on his team would understand, it would be Tony. You don't work in law enforcement for ten years without acquiring some ghosts of one form or another. And Gibbs was well aware of the existence of a few ghosts in the younger man's past. In addition, of course, to several of his own.

"That explains a lot," Tony observed quietly. "Why he canceled his trip to London. Why he snapped at Abby. Why he knew our Jane Doe wasn't really a Lieutenant in the Navy. But why'd he keep it from us?"

"You ever taken a case personally, DiNozzo?" It was almost an unfair question, and without a doubt a loaded one. They both knew Tony had left Philadelphia under what the younger man would now only mysteriously describe as "extenuating circumstances" to anyone who dared to ask. The two men had never discussed it, but there were some truths about Tony's past of which both of them silently acknowledged that Gibbs was aware. Uncovering those kinds of facts was simply unavoidable when conducting a background check as extensive as the kind Gibbs ran on his potential new agents.

Tony felt uneasy, not only with the question, but with the soul-searching gaze accompanying the question, and suddenly found a piece of paper on his desk to be of great interest. "I suppose so, Boss."

Gibbs decided to let him off the hook. _Tony will talk about it when he's ready. And not a minute sooner. _"Ducky needed to be absolutely sure this case was connected before he was ready to talk to us about it."

Feeling it safe to chance a look at his boss again, Tony nodded and then asked, "How do we help?"

"We do what we always do, DiNozzo. We find answers. Solve the case. Get justice."

"But, Boss. The first victim was from ten years ago. What if we do all that but we still can't identify her?"

It was a valid question. More than that, it was an entirely possible scenario. It would be very difficult to find the identity of the first victim now, unless their killer knew her personally and was willing, or somehow persuaded, to talk. Still, they would do everything possible. Gibbs would make certain they did. "We'll do everything we can, Tony. And Ducky knows that. We're a team."

"And if it isn't enough? If we can't ever give closure to the family? Or Ducky?"

"Then we help Ducky let go."

"Have _you_ let go of Ari Haswari, Boss?"

_Leave it to Tony to know exactly which buttons to push. _"I'm accepting the fact that I've done everything I can do." _For now_, he amended silently. "When Ducky's convinced we've done all we can, he'll accept it too."

Tony dropped the subject, but Gibbs could see that he was still troubled and it was not surprising. There was something he'd learned about the younger man in the past three years. He came with a lot of baggage, some of which had been unnecessarily self-imposed. Through the years, he'd continued to add more bags, but Gibbs was relatively certain he'd never been able to unload any.

Because when it came to guilt, Tony had never really learned to let go.

* * *

It was a beautiful, crisp, autumn day and Tony had decided to take a break from the indoors and stroll outside to the coffee cart. He paid for his latte and moved down to the end of the cart, setting his cup near the edge just long enough to grab some napkins. Just as he pulled the last napkin out of the holder, he barely tapped the edge of the cup – just enough to send it toppling over, coffee spilling all over his shirt. _That's at least the fourth or fifth time this week. _ He could hear Kate's voice in his head taunting him about "bad karma" again, when it was abruptly replaced by another familiar voice, this one somewhere to his right.

"Yes, I'll have a large cup of tea and a replacement for whatever that young man over there was drinking prior to his unfortunate accident."

Tony turned and smiled broadly at his coworker. "Thanks, Ducky. I'll pay you back."

"No need, Anthony. I can afford to buy a cup of coffee, even on an ME's salary," the older man said with a wink.

While Doctor Mallard was paying for the drinks, Tony very cautiously handled his second cup of coffee, not daring to put this one down anywhere. "Hey, we missed you this morning. Everything ok?"

"Why, yes, Tony. As a matter of fact, thanks to you and Jethro and the rest of your team, I was finally able to do something this morning that I should have done long ago."

Tony was making his way to a nearby bench, indicating for the older man to follow him. "What was that?"

"I found a lovely resting place for our Jane Doe. It's time, I believe."

"Really?" Tony had been feeling badly ever since they had wrapped the case, knowing that his recent fear had been realized and they would very likely never be able to identify their victim of ten years ago. But Ducky was looking as relaxed as he'd ever seen him. "And you're ok with that? Even though we never found out who she was?"

"I don't know if 'okay' would be the proper term for it, but yes I am finally at peace. Her killer has been identified and I have some satisfaction in knowing he will never again victimize another young woman." Seeing Tony's puzzlement, he went on to explain further. "I did not expect that we would be able to identify her after all this time. I am a realist, after all. But I did not want her to be simply forgotten, either. Whomever she was, I wanted to show that her life mattered."

"But she doesn't know about it, Ducky. And neither does her family."

"But _I _know Anthony. And perhaps she does as well."

Tony wished he could believe that was true. Which brought to mind another question. "Do you believe in karma?"

It seemed an odd change in conversation topics, but the doctor had observed enough of the younger man through the years to realize there was always a connection to be made in his logic, however ambiguous it initially seemed. "Karma, Tony? I don't know about that. I believe that a person often 'reaps what they sow,' however. Why do you ask?"

Almost embarrassed to have brought up the subject, Tony laughed nervously and looked down at his shirt. "Well, you know, I keep having these accidents. And Kate says it's karma catching up with me."

"Ahh, yes, well, our Caitlin does enjoy teasing you. But have you considered a simpler explanation? A mere case of clumsiness perhaps?"

"I've been clumsy an awful lot lately."

"Maybe you've simply been distracted. Or it has become a self-fulfilling prophesy. Because you expect mishaps to occur, you unwittingly _cause_ them to occur."

Tony smiled tightly. "You're probably right, Ducky."

Realizing the young agent had something more weighty on his mind than just spilling his coffee, Ducky decided to probe a little deeper. "Besides, what could you have possibly done to incur such wrath from the universe?"

A dark expression passed over the younger man's face, quickly replaced by the more familiar mischievous smirk he was more well-known for. "I can't help it really. It's the DiNozzo charm. I've broken a lot of hearts."

"Yes, one would imagine so. But I would surmise you've more than made up for that with the number of lives you've protected over the years."

The smile disappeared and Tony was intently studying his coffee. "They're usually dead by the time I get to them."

"As are my 'patients,' Anthony. But I was referring to those whose lives have been spared because of the threats we've removed from society. Unfortunately, we never know who they are, or how many they are. But that doesn't mean they aren't real. They're every bit as real as my Jane Doe was."

"But what if…"

"What if, what, Anthony?" the older man prodded, feeling that the question was somehow critically important.

"Let's say, hypothetically, if you were trying to help people but in the process you let someone get hurt. Or maybe even accidentally caused it. Can you ever make up for that?"

"Well if it was unintentional, I am not certain why you would believe you are to blame at all. Was there some negligence involved or -"

"I didn't say anything about me. I said it was hypothetical," Tony cut in quickly.

"Alright, Anthony, I apologize. I simply misunderstood," Ducky soothed, in spite of the fact that he did not believe the "hypothetical" tag for a second. "Generally speaking, though, Anthony, there are tragedies for which there is no one to blame, though I do realize that can be difficult to accept."

Tony seemed to be considering whether or not to pose another "hypothetical" question when Gibbs unintentionally interrupted the conversation. Showing up in front of their bench with a newly purchased cup of coffee, and uncharacteristically unaware as to the intensity or the import of the conversation he was interrupting, Tony's boss fixed him with the "I caught you goofing off" stare that the younger man knew so well.

"Boss! Uh, sorry, I just took a little coffee break and ran into Ducky here and….I was just going back to work though." He stood up from the bench and awkwardly addressed the doctor. "Thanks for the coffee, Ducky. And…the conversation."

Gibbs looked after his agent curiously. "What is DiNozzo looking so guilty about?"

The ME looked at his friend somewhat gravely. "Judging from the conversation he and I just had, I would say he carries guilt over a great _many_ things. I simply have no idea what they may be."

His amusement turning to concern, Gibbs asked, "What did he say?"

"Well, nothing specific. In fact, he claimed not to be referring to himself at all. However, I will say that the young man has a tremendous capacity for blaming himself, and not necessarily over things for which he bears the responsibility, I suspect."

"I know, Duck," his friend sighed.

"It isn't healthy, Jethro."

"Know that, too. I'm workin' on it."

"Yes, well, I know you've come a long way with him. And I suspect having researched his background that you perhaps know more of the specifics of his past whether or not he has volunteered the information. Regardless, it isn't healthy that he chooses to keep them entirely to himself."

It wasn't lost on Gibbs that DiNozzo was a lot like him in that regard. He momentarily wondered what the older man would think of _him _if he one day learned of the existence of Shannon and Kelly, along with the fact that Gibbs had chosen to keep _those _details entirely to himself.

If DiNozzo truly was that much like him, Gibbs surmised that he may _never _know many of the things from Tony's past which continued to trouble him. Neither would anyone else. He'd keep it to himself and ultimately he'd end up alone. Because three failed marriages had taught him that you can't share your life with someone while withholding large pieces of yourself from them.

And it was in that moment that he determined Tony would _not _be just like him. Not if he had anything to say about it.

.


	5. Chapter 5 - Student and Teacher

**Episode tag for "The Bone Yard."**

"**Student and Teacher"**

Tony was relieved to find the gym empty, save for himself and one other soon-to-arrive. Truth be told, he was now questioning the wisdom of an idea he'd had a few days prior, but it was too late to back out now he supposed. Still, Gibbs would be here any minute and he really didn't want an audience for what he was about to do.

It had started about a week ago when the Lead Agent had announced to his team that they would be practicing their hand-to-hand combat skills in the gym the next morning. Tony had actually been taking some boxing classes and felt eager to show off his new skills in front of the boss. Much to his delight, Gibbs had paired McGee with Kate so that Tony would have the opportunity to square off with the older man one-on-one.

The younger agent had been pleased with his own performance in the beginning. He'd managed to block several of Gibbs' blows, even earning a rare "not bad" from the other man. His confidence, however, had soon been replaced by humiliation as he'd unexpectedly found himself lying flat on his back, and somewhat painfully at that. Once again, Gibbs had made it all look so _easy. _

_It could have been worse. At least he didn't do what Kate did to poor McGee. _Tony shuddered at memory of the younger man writhing in pain after their female partner had delivered a surprise blow to his crotch. And people thought _he _was vicious in his teasing of the Probie agent.

His thoughts turning back to that morning, he settled on another memory. He'd kept telling himself it was no big deal. It didn't actually _mean _anything. It's just that Gibbs had done _that thing _again. Right after he'd explained that the Marines teach fighting, not boxing, with Tony still flat on the ground in pain, Gibbs had taken off his glove and made that one tiny little gesture. Again. The one that brought back words like "You don't waste good" and "You're irreplaceable." One teeny tiny pat on the cheek, and Tony couldn't get it out of his mind for days. But, _man, _if it didn't make Tony wonder if maybe, just maybe, the older man actually cared about him. Or at least something close to it.

Gibbs' work had been particularly impressive that week. When Tony had discovered that Agent Fornell's "suicide" had been a ruse cooked up by his boss all along, part of his big master plan to clear the other man's name, he had been blown away. _I want to be that good someday, _he'd thought. _If I can get him to teach it to me, I want to learn everything Gibbs knows. _

That was when the idea had come to him which had led him to his current predicament, standing in the gym by the boxing ring once again waiting for Gibbs. After the shock of Fornell's very-much-alive state of being had worn off, Tony had found an opportunity to approach Gibbs privately.

_**Three days prior:**_

"Hey, Boss? You got a minute?" Tony had run over to catch the elevator and Gibbs had managed to stop the doors from closing just in time.

"What's going on, Tony?"

"Well, Boss, you know that move you did in the gym the other day?"

Gibbs smiled slightly in amusement as he remembered the stunned expression on Tony's face right after he'd gotten the upper hand on the younger man. "You mean the one where I laid you out flat on your back?"

"Yeah, that one, Boss," Tony said rather sheepishly.

"Mmm-hmm. Takin' one for the team?"

Now DiNozzo was thoroughly embarrassed. He'd tried to claim to his teammates that he'd let Gibbs win on purpose, but of course his boss had walked in at just the right time and he'd earned quite a headslap for it. "Uh, yeah, about that. I was just – "

"Trying to save face in front of your teammates? Yeah, I know, DiNozzo. What about it?"

"Well, the thing is, Boss…I was actually wondering if maybe sometime…if you wouldn't mind or anything…if you'd maybe….show me how you did that?"

However awkwardly the question had been posed, Gibbs felt a surge of pride, not just in Tony, but in the fact that Tony wanted to learn something from _him. _ nodded. "Pick a day, after work. We'll go down to the gym and do some training."

"Thanks, Boss. Can we just keep this between us, though?"

Gibbs simply nodded in acknowledgment, much to Tony's relief.

_If Kate or McGee found out, they'd never let me hear the end of it._

**Present time…**

Tony was brought back to the moment by the closing of the door and the entrance of his boss. He wasn't certain why, but he was feeling incredibly nervous all of a sudden.

"You ready, DiNozzo?"

"Sure, Boss," he said with about as much uncertainly as he felt.

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

Gibbs walked up and put his hands on the younger man's shoulders, squeezing just slightly. "Relax. I'm not _actually _planning on killing you."

Tony laughed nervously, but felt some of the tension drain out of his body at the gesture and the words of assurance. "I know, Boss."

With a satisfied nod, Gibbs put on the boxing gloves and entered the ring with Tony following closely behind. "Ok, Tony, I want you to do exactly what you were doing the other day. Start swinging."

Tony began attempting blows in the direction of his boss' face. _Right. Left. Right. Right, again. _All of them expertly blocked by the other man. But in return, Gibbs attempted a few hits of his own, also skillfully blocked by his agent. "Nice, Tony. Now try that right hook again."

Tony's right arm shot out but Gibbs smoothly sidestepped the blow and suddenly Tony's right arm was locked under Gibbs' own right arm, just like the other day. Bracing himself, the younger man mentally prepared his body to hit the mat beneath him, but Gibbs stopped and transitioned from fighting mode to instructor mode. "You have to anticipate the shot, DiNozzo, and not only step out of the way, but lift your arm and trap your opponent's arm beneath yours like this."

Gibbs held back a chuckle as he realized his agent had closed his eyes, expecting to hit the ground at any moment. When he'd begun talking, Tony had finally opened his eyes, at first gazing at him in confusion, but now staring in intent concentration. Confident he had the younger man's attention, he continued.

"Keep a firm grip on his arm and take a swing with the other arm to stun him if you need to." Tony felt Gibbs' left fist strike him, more gently than the last time. Gibbs then brought up his leg slightly and hooked it behind Tony's right knee, pushing him backwards at the same time with his right arm. _I'm going down for sure this time._ But unlike before, Gibbs kept a firm grip on his arm all the way down, so he fell to the mat with much less force than the first time.

Next thing he knew, he was looking up towards the ceiling with his boss standing over him. "Got it, DiNozzo?"

"I think so, Boss." _I hope._

"Good. So, that means you're ready to try it on me." Still holding on to Tony's arm, Gibbs helped him stand back up.

Tony's eyes went wide. Maybe he hadn't thought this all the way through.

"It's ok, DiNozzo. You have my permission. And don't hold back. Let's see if you've really got this."

Gibbs started swinging at Tony, his agent once again expertly blocking the blows. Tony finally anticipated one of his shots in time to step out of the way and grab his right arm underneath his own, but he paused for just a second before delivering a blow or forcing his boss to the ground. Barely long enough for Gibbs to yank his arm and twist it rather painfully behind his back. "Owww," Tony barely squeaked out.

Still holding onto his arm but easing up just slightly, his boss was directly behind his right ear. Softly but dangerously, Gibbs ordered, "Do _not_ hesitate next time_."_

Tony nodded his understanding and the older man finally let go completely. "Now, let's try that again," Gibbs commanded.

Shaking his arms to work out the kinks, Tony resumed his boxing stance. Once again, he was finally able to anticipate one of Gibbs' punches and trap his arm, but this time there was no hesitation. With his left arm, he struck out at his boss, accidentally striking him in the back of the head, but then immediately followed up by hooking his boss' leg behind the knee and pushing him down towards the mat with as much force as possible. Gibbs landed with a "thud," Tony triumphantly trapping his boss by the neck underneath his right arm, with a right knee to the chest for good measure.

_Ouch. I'm definitely not getting any younger._ "That was good work, DiNozzo," Gibbs said just above a whisper. Noticing his opponent had not moved, he added with just a bit more force, "You can let go now."

Tony had been grinning from ear to ear, but soon realized he'd held his boss down just a few moments longer than necessary in his enthusiasm. "Oh, sorry, Boss! Here, let me help you up." As Tony stood up and offered his hand, Gibbs met him with a glare. "Or not. Cause, of course, you don't need any help. Cause you're Leroy Jethro Gibbs!"

Gibbs managed to stand up without the offered assistance and even threw in an eye roll at DiNozzo's last statement.

Feeling almost giddy at his success, Tony excitedly asked, "Wanna do it again, Boss?"

"Oh, we're gonna do it again, DiNozzo. Just not tonight. We're gonna train twice a month 'til I make a fighter out of you."

Tony wasn't sure if he was excited or scared by the prospect. But he _did _want to learn as much as possible under Gibbs' tutelage. Even if it meant some extra bruises. Which it most certainly would. "Really? Twice a month, huh?"

Gibbs gave him the look that said, "_Are you hard of hearing, DiNozzo? That's what I just said."_

Reading the expression without missing a beat, Tony condeded, "Right. Twice a month it is."

As the two men removed their gloves and headed towards the showers, Tony rather impulsively extended an invitation. "Hey, Boss, you hungry? We could stop for pizza. I'll buy."

For a brief moment, he thought his boss looked puzzled, but then he responded with, "Sure, Tony. Pizza sounds good."

* * *

As he and Tony sat waiting on their pizza to arrive, Gibbs couldn't help thinking that DiNozzo had been full of surprises these past few days. The request for training had been an unexpected, but welcome, surprise. The invitation to dinner, even more so.

The last time they'd been out for a meal together had been at his prodding, the day after Tony had last stayed at his house. It had been after the incident where Tony had been abducted and then rescued from the sewers, and the meal had practically been a bribe to make sure the younger man ate something before Gibbs let him out of his sight. In spite of the fact that Tony had finally opened up to him for once the night before, the rest of Tony's stay along with their lunch the next day could have only been described as awkward and uncomfortable.

In contrast to tonight. They were at the same pizza place, obviously one of Tony's favorite hangouts, but the atmosphere was completely different this time. The younger man was much more at ease, laughing and joking, and Gibbs found himself especially thankful for whatever events had transpired in the past six months to bring about such a change. Nevertheless, the thought occurred to him that Tony had completely avoided being anywhere near his house – or his basement – since those couple of days, and had also mostly avoided sharing anything personal that was not in some way work-related or at least tangentially related to a case.

"Boss, are you gonna let McGee grapple with Kate next time?" Tony asked abruptly, his thoughts still on the gym. "Cause that was kind of painful to watch. Did you hear what she did to him?"

"Yeah, I know what she did, Tony." He hadn't really liked it either, but he understood what Kate was doing. And it was more than just pent-up sibling rivalry.

"It was a low blow. Even I wouldn't have done that to the Probie."

"No, _you_ wouldn't, Tony. But a criminal would. You rather he get shot out in the field cause he was taken by surprise?"

"Course not, Boss."

"McGee's gotta learn not to hesitate. The other guy won't. Or girl. And that's what Kate was trying to teach him. You can't worry about being a gentleman in a life-or-death situation."

"Guess I assumed she was just being spiteful." _Like she always is with me._

Gibbs chuckled. "Well, probably a little of that, too. But she was right. Even if the tactics were questionable."

"I have trouble picturing the Probie fighting with a girl, Boss. Actually, I kind of have a hard time picturing the Probie fighting, period," he added with a slight frown.

"He's gonna have to learn eventually. Like you did."

"I'm guessing I had a little more practice at it growing up than he did."

Gibbs supposed that was true. He knew Tony had been kicked out of at least one boarding school. And with all the different schools he'd gone to, the older man could imagine he'd also seen his fair share of fights. Still…

"Nothing quite prepares you for having people trying to kill you." Of all his agents, Gibbs worried the most for Tony's safety. For one thing, the young man simply attracted trouble. His boss had lost count of how many trips to the E/R he'd made since DiNozzo had started, and that was aside from all the trips they _should _have made but didn't. But also, because of his background as a cop, level of experience, size, and physical strength, it was usually Tony that ended up making the arrests and confronting suspects when a physical confrontation was necessary. That was one reason he'd made a spur-of-the-moment decision earlier this evening to make combat training a regular event between the two of them.

"When you get through with me, I should be pretty much indestructible," Tony joked.

But Gibbs was not amused. "Don't ever think that. You get overconfident, you end up dead. Don't _ever _let your guard down. And don't hesitate like you did tonight."

Tony's smile immediately faded. "I won't, Boss. And I _am_ taking this seriously, just so you know."

"It's not a bad thing that you're taking boxing lessons. But boxers have rules and criminals don't. You ever end up in a fight with a murderer, you remember that. You use anything at your disposal, got it?"

"Got it, Boss. No rules and no hesitation."

"And if you believe your life is in danger, you shoot to kill."

"I've been a cop for ten years. I know this stuff."

"Well, it doesn't hurt to hear it again, Tony." Maybe it was knowing that Kate had hesitated to go after Ari Haswari, or perhaps the way Tony had recently been relating himself to their suspects. Or Tony's moment of hesitation earlier in the evening. Whatever had prompted it, Gibbs had felt compelled to remind the younger man of the dangers they dealt with every day. None of his other agents had ever had quite the propensity for scaring him half to death that DiNozzo did.

Tired of the serious, and slightly uncomfortable, turn the conversation had taken, Tony decided to change the subject. "So, that was quite a trick you pulled, making everybody think Agent Fornell was dead and all. How'd you pull that off, anyway?"

Grinning, the older man replied, "If I told you that, I'd have to kill ya."

This got a genuine laugh in response from Tony. "Someday, Boss, I'm gonna learn all your little secrets. I think I'll make it my mission. To one day be as good an agent as Leroy Jethro Gibbs."

Gibbs was touched, but thought something about the statement was just a little bit off.

_No, Tony, someday you will be better than Leroy Jethro Gibbs. And that…is MY mission._


	6. Chapter 6 - Special Order

**Episode tag for "Terminal Leave." Sometimes inspiration is found in the strangest places. Yes, I built an entire tag around Tony's sunglasses. But, I always thought it was kind of mean of Gibbs to just give them away without his permission. By the way, I know nothing whatsoever about designer sunglasses. Totally making this one up as I go along – and not meant to be taken toooo seriously…so read with your sense of humor firmly in place. **

"**Special Order"**

He knew he was being petty.

They'd just seen at least one and maybe two families torn apart, after all. Someone's wife, someone's mother, dead. Another marriage in trouble, with two kids caught in the middle. In the midst of such tragedy, a custom pair of Oakleys seemed insignificant. The kid needed _something _to be excited about, right? It was the least he could do, really.

But they were _his _Oakleys. And he hadn't _agreed _to give them away. To a kid who didn't even like him.

He couldn't expect his coworkers to understand. Even if he _could _expect them to, it was highly unlikely they would try. As it was, they'd given him a hard time about being stupid enough to special order a pair of sunglasses in the first place. He'd let his hurt show, just a little bit, in the beginning. But then they'd gone back to the house and been confronted with that scene. It should have put everything into perspective, but when they'd started making the trip back to the Navy Yard for a second time, he'd remembered and it had bothered him just as much.

Then McGee had made a joke about _maybe _having special-ordered once. He'd turned around just about to let the Probie have it but something about the way McGee had looked at him stopped him. Maybe he'd misread it, but he could have sworn the junior agent was looking at him in sympathy, actually trying to make him feel better. _With a joke! _The guy Tony had accused of having no sense of humor and admonished to lighten up just a few weeks ago. So Tony did what he did best. He'd put on his "nothing can touch me" face and laughed. And kept up the performance all the way back to the Navy Yard.

But now here he was back in the office still secretly mourning the loss of his sunglasses. Because they weren't just _any _pair of glasses. Those shades had gotten him through a rough time. Ok, maybe not _single-handedly_ gotten him through it. But they'd helped. When he'd worn those Oakleys, he'd felt like the coolest guy in the room. _Special. _That was it. They'd made him feel special.

Six months ago, he'd needed something to make him feel special. Because after making out with a murderous transvestite, being kidnapped, trapped in a sewer, spilling his guts to his boss about how little his father had ever cared about him, seeing something worthwhile in a traitorous ATF agent that apparently wasn't there, and being pigeonholed by his partner as a shallow, hormonal jock who couldn't see past a woman's chest size – well, maybe he'd felt just a little bit lousy. Maybe even a lot lousy.

And there was admittedly some alcohol involved when he'd picked up the phone and special ordered those $200 glasses he'd found on the website. But he wasn't driven by the alcohol. And he only bought massively expensive designer apparel on what he deemed as "special occasions." Otherwise, he was really quite frugal. And if anyone had asked about the involvement of the alcohol in the purchase, he would have proudly pointed out that he had been completely sober when he'd bought his $500 pair of Salvatore Ferragamos. That had occurred shortly after Agent Blackadder's departure, when he'd realized the full extent of his boss' wrath after they'd reached a dead end on a case and he was the only agent still standing to take it out on.

As much as he _hated _to credit Danny Price for anything, he had to give credit where it was due. His former partner had warned him, during what had been a simpler and happier time for Tony, that one day he might need a little help in the self-confidence department. Out of two-years' worth of partnership, it had been the one truly helpful thing he'd taken away.

Tony's period of grief was interrupted when Kate stood up and decided to call it a day. "Good night, everyone." And, catching Tony's eye, she pulled out her sunglasses with a flourish and put them on, smiling smugly. "_Good night, _Tony."

_Leave it to Kate to rub salt in the wound. _With the brightest and most artificial smile he held in his arsenal, Tony replied, "And you have a lovely night as well, _Katie."_ He wasn't absolutely certain, but Tony suspected his partner secretly hated it when he called her Katie. _Must've been what her older brothers called her. _

He watched her sashay to the elevator, still wearing _her _special-ordered sunglasses. Cause Gibbs would've _never _done that to _her. _Okay, maybe that was unfair. He did make her shoot her PDA once. But at least then there had been a point to be made.

Speaking of the boss, the other man had been sitting there quietly at his desk this whole time. But, upon Kate's dramatic departure, he got up wordlessly and headed somewhere. In typical Gibbs fashion, he told no one where he was going, why, or if and when he intended to return.

That left Tony and McGee. But not for long, because Tony was wrapping up his report and printing it out so he could go home and pout in peace, where no one would judge him.

"Probie, I'd advise you to wrap up your report soon. You know how the Boss hates it when you get too wordy."

"Almost done, Tony."

"Ok, then. Well, good night, McGee. See you Monday." Without even thinking Tony opened the desk drawer to retrieve his beloved sunglasses, only to be smacked in the face once again with the painful reminder that they were gone forever. He stood there staring at the open drawer, at the sad, empty space where his Oakleys should have been. He must've accidentally allowed the devastation to be written all over his face, because the Probie timidly offered his condolences.

"Tony, I'm really sorry about your sunglasses. I know that must really – "

"Suck, McGee?" he said dejectedly. Meeting the younger man's eyes, he nodded sadly. "Yeah, it kind of does."

Instead of the usual irritation, Tony detected just a touch of empathy on his junior partner's face. They locked eyes for just a moment before the older man slowly turned and walked out, the usual energy and enthusiasm missing from his gait.

_Well, I lost my favorite sunglasses, but maybe something good came out of this. For once, the Probie and I understand each other. _

* * *

It was Friday evening and Abby just had a couple of things to finish before she could start her weekend. She had a party to go to tonight and a date with McGee tomorrow. Their case was all wrapped up, and she'd turned her music up to full throttle in celebration. Which may have been why she didn't notice his entrance until she saw the Caf-Pow in front of her face attached to a hand which was attached to an arm that could only belong to one person.

"Gibbs! I must be losing my touch. Why didn't I know you were there?"

"ABS! CAN YOU TURN THAT DOWN? I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF – " Suddenly Abby pushed a button and it was silent, but not before Gibbs barked out the last word. "THINK!"

"You don't have to yell anymore, Bossman," the young Goth said with a smirk. Then, noticing he'd brought her a Caf-Pow, her face fell. "Oh _no, _Gibbs. Please tell me we don't have another case already. I have plans this weekend!"

"Nope. Not a case. Need a favor."

"_Real-_ly…" she said, drawing out the word with great interest. "A _personal _favor? And what can I do for you, my silver-haired fox?"

"It's not exactly for me. It's for DiNozzo."

"You're asking me to do a personal favor for Tony. But he's not here and you are. Looking very guilty. I think. Although it's really hard to tell with you, Gibbs…."

"Abby…"

"Sooooo," she looked him directly in the eye and demanded to know, as only Abby could, "what did you do this time?"

_She knows me too well. _He sighed. "I gave DiNozzo's sunglasses to the Shields' kid."

Abby stared at him in stunned disbelief, then said very slowly, "You… gave… away… Tony's… Oakleys."

Abby was quite possibly the only person in this world who could put Leroy Jethro Gibbs on the defensive. "I didn't know they were that important to him! DiNozzo was holdin' us up cause he didn't want to give them to the kid, so I just grabbed them and gave them to him. " The more Abby stared, the guiltier he felt. "How was I supposed to know he special ordered 'em? I don't know anything about designer sunglasses."

Deciding she'd given him enough of a guilt trip for one evening, the forensic scientist finally let up on the staring. "So, you want me to find him another pair."

"Yeah. Just let me know how much."

"They're gonna cost you, Gibbs."

"I said I'd pay for them. I just need you to find the right ones for me. He said something about polarized lenses and impact protection. And some kind of… curves…or something."

"Raked-back curvature?"

"Yeah…" Gibbs said with a great deal of uncertainty. _When did sunglasses get so complicated?_

"Okay. But just so you know, Oakleys can cost like, two hundred dollars."

Gibbs fixed Abby with one of the glares normally reserved for FBI agents obstructing one of his investigations. "Two….._hundred…_dollars?"

"I didn't set the prices, Gibbs. And I wasn't the one who gave them away, either."

He took a very deep breath. "Fine. Whatever. Just…._find _them."

"Yes, sir, Bossman," Abby chirped, with a salute.

Gibbs started to turn around and leave, but decided he wasn't quite done yet. "Can you please explain to me what DiNozzo is doing buying two-hundred dollar glasses and…_five-_hundred dollar shoes?"

"Well, Gibbs, I don't personally see the attraction. I like thrift stores myself. But it's just really important to Tony to look good, you know."

"He could still look just fine in cheaper stuff. Most people don't even know the difference."

"True. But Tony knows. Maybe the clothes just make him…happy."

"Clothes do not make people happy, Abby."

"Okay. Happi-_er, _then. Or maybe just less…_sad. _Some people eat ice cream, some people shop. I even know this guy who's building a boat in his basement…_"_

"I get the point, Abs. Just wish he'd find a cheaper hobby."

"Awww, poor Tony. Think how _you'd_ feel if somebody gave your boat away when you weren't looking. Of course that would be kind of difficult. They'd have to figure out how to get it out of the basement first. And then they'd have to get past you, and since you know _everything…_"

"Good night, Abby. Let me know when you get 'em. " As he was walking out, he admonished, "And don't breathe a word of this to DiNozzo!"

Just as Gibbs exited the lab, Abby thought of something. "But _Gibbs…" He can't hear me. _

_How are we going to get them to Tony without him figuring out where they came from?_

* * *

_**Just over two weeks later….**_

Tony was having a rotten morning. And since it was the beginning of the Christmas season, and everyone else in the world seemed to be in such a merry mood, he actually felt more rotten for feeling so…_rotten._

First off, it was Monday. And that was usually enough to put him in a bad mood in and of itself.

Then, there was the fact that they'd just wrapped up a case with Agent Afloat Paula Cassidy, and that had brought up all kinds of old feelings again. And like an idiot, he'd been calling and leaving her messages for days, all of them, thus far, unreturned.

And finally, his alarm clock had chosen _this _particular morning to poop out on him. So now, he was both grumpy _and_ late.

Kate and McGee both looked at him with some bizarre mixture of satisfaction and pity as they all prepared for the inevitable butt-chewing Tony was about to receive from his boss.

"'Bout time you decided to show up, DiNozzo. Five more minutes and that desk was gonna be permanently unoccupied."

"Alarm clock, Boss. I'll get a new one today. Won't happen again."

As Tony took off the cheap department store sunglasses he'd recently purchased, waiting to replace the Oakleys until he'd felt he'd saved enough money to justify such a seemingly frivolous purchase, Gibbs noted the dark circles under the younger man's eyes. _I'll bet Paula Cassidy's to blame again. There's a reason I don't like that woman. _

DiNozzo lethargically switched on his computer and, as he waited for it to boot up so he could go through his emails, he opened his desk drawer to deposit the replacement sunglasses in the special spot once reserved for his Oakleys. Without even looking, he went to deposit the glasses in the desk drawer when he felt another object there that hadn't been there yesterday.

Puzzled, he looked over from his computer screen to locate the offending object when… there they were. A brand new pair of custom Oakleys. Polarized lenses, impact protected, raked-back curvature. They were perfection in a little black frame. Even nicer than the ones he'd had before, something he didn't even realize was possible. He picked them up reverently to get a closer look.

"So, you special ordered another pair of sunglasses, DiNozzo? That didn't take very long." Kate had been watching him curiously as he studied his new glasses. "Just can't take your eyes off them, I see. Tony's in _looove."_

McGee looked over at them with interest and smiled. "Nice glasses, Tony."

Distracted, Tony simply said, "Thanks, Probie."

Gibbs, he noticed, _hadn't _noticed. Or was pretending not to notice. As usual.

When his coworkers had diverted their attention back to whatever they had been pretending to work on, Tony checked the drawer again a found a tiny white card. It simply said, "From Santa."

He never found out for certain who "Santa" was, but he strongly suspected the merry old man with the pot belly had been replaced by a grumpy ex-Marine who liked redheads and bought his clothes from Sears, and his elves had been replaced by one perky and very efficient little Goth.


	7. Chapter 7 - Old Friend

**Episode tag for "Call of Silence."**

"**Old Friend"**

"My flight's supposed to arrive around 7:00"….."Yes, Mom, I'm looking forward to seeing you, too"…."I know, I wish Rachel was coming, too, but if she's got other commitments, what can we do?"…."Ok, Mom, look I have to go now but I'll see you tonight"…."I love you, too." Kate had been on the phone with her mother for the past half hour confirming their Thanksgiving plans. It was obvious the other woman was excited to be seeing her daughter for the holiday, even to those who could only hear Kate's half of the conversation.

The bullpen was relatively quiet on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, with many agents already having begun their holiday weekend. The MCRT was not on rotation for the holiday this year, but they were all present that morning wrapping up last minute details so they could enjoy a rare long holiday weekend.

"So your Mom sounds pretty excited, huh, Kate?" Tony had been listening to his partner's conversation curiously. Kate rarely spoke about her parents, but he knew she came from a large close-knit family and that her folks valued big family gatherings.

"Excited is an understatement. But I wish my sister was coming. Mom really wanted to have everyone together for once and Rachel is the only one who isn't going to be there."

"Hmm. That's too bad."

"Yeah, she has some mysterious 'other plans.' I suppose we'll have to try again next year to get everyone together, since we're supposed to be on-call for Christmas."

"So what about you, Probie? You going to spend Thanksgiving with Mom and Dad, too?"

"Mom and my sister. My father's deployed." The team knew McGee's Dad was an Admiral in the Navy, but the younger man rarely spoke of his father personally, and Tony detected what he thought may have been just a hint of bitterness in the younger man's response.

"Well that's nice, McGee. About spending Thanksgiving with your mom and sister, I mean. Not the part about your dad not being able to make it," Tony added with unintended awkwardness that he hoped the junior agent would not notice.

Kate abruptly stopped typing and looked over at Tony as she was struck with a question that had just occurred to her. "What are _you _doing for the holiday, Tony?"

It was a question her partner usually received with secret dread. To say his father was not big on spending holidays with his son would be putting it mildly. Tony hadn't spent a Thanksgiving with the man since he'd been a minor, and most of those since his mother had died had been spent quite uncomfortably, trying to be on his very best behavior for either a new stepmother, or a potential new stepmother-to-be.

In college, he'd dreaded the holidays because it meant all his buddies left town to be with their families and he was left to find his own entertainment, which had often involved either alcohol or a girl, and sometimes both. When he'd become a cop, he'd learned that volunteering to work holidays was the best way to avoid the awkward conversations about how he planned to spend his time off, and this strategy had carried over into his first couple of years with NCIS. He suspected Gibbs was on to him, but to his boss' credit, the question had never actually been posed, much to Tony's relief.

Last year had been somewhat unusual. He had ended up spontaneously spending most of the holiday weekend with Special Agent Paula Cassidy, who had been forced to cancel her Thanksgiving plans with her family due to having to escort a suspect from Guantanamo Bay to DC. It had been one of the best holidays in recent history for Tony, though the memory was now slightly tainted. With a sharp pang of regret, he remembered that he hadn't spoken with Paula in months, first due to his own hurt feelings after she'd made it clear that she wanted nothing more than a casual relationship, and after that mostly based on the assumption that she'd likely moved on with someone else. Or, knowing Paula, maybe several someone elses. And after she'd been promoted to an Agent Afloat position a few months ago, well, goodness knows she had plenty of opportunities. _She's only surrounded by, like, 5,000 or so men, _Tony thought with chagrin.

But no matter, because this year, _this _year, Tony had plans of his own. Very special plans. And he found that he was looking forward to Thanksgiving more than he could remember since he'd been a small boy. Now he just had to figure out how to answer Kate's question without giving too much away.

"As a matter of fact, Kate, I have plans to spend Thanksgiving with an old friend."

Kate smiled in relief, glad to hear that her partner wouldn't be spending the weekend alone. "What's her name, DiNozzo? Or is it that cashier you couldn't take to the ballet the other night?"

_That went exactly according to plan. Of course Kate would assume it's a woman._ Playing along, Tony simply looked at his partner, waggled his eyebrows, and smiled wolfishly.

Shaking her head, Kate jokingly admonished, "Just make sure you don't forget to come back to work on Monday."

Looking around at the faces of his coworkers who had been, quite frankly, bored out of their minds all morning and counting down the minutes until they could begin their holiday weekend, Tony teased, "And miss all this _fun?_"

As he silently acknowledged the small chuckle from Kate, Tony caught his boss watching him out of the corner of his eye. Gibbs had not participated in the discussion regarding his team's Thanksgiving plans, and certainly no one dared to ask the fiercely private man any questions about his own.

Whatever Gibbs had been looking for in Tony's face, he'd apparently been satisfied that he'd found it because he finally turned his gaze back onto his computer.

Tony wondered briefly what had sparked his boss' curiosity before turning his thoughts back to his partner. Wouldn't Kate be surprised if she knew his real plans?

_I actually meant what I said for a change, Kate. I really am spending my holiday with an "old" friend._

* * *

_Uh-oh. I didn't think about how I was going to ring the doorbell, _Tony thought as he stood outside the front door of the small but cozy house, his hands full carrying the bags containing part of the traditional Thanksgiving dinner he'd pre-ordered from a local restaurant a couple of days before. He just managed to get a pinky finger extricated from the handle of one of the bags, and carefully reached over to hit the button.

It took a while for the home's single occupant to reach the door, but that was to be expected. Tony waited patiently until he finally heard the halting footsteps, and then the door being unlocked and carefully opened. "Oh, hey, kid. What are you doing here?"

Tony pushed down his disappointment, covering it with his warmest smile. The other man's confusion didn't come as a complete shock, after all. "Don't you remember, Ernie? I called you a couple of days ago to ask you about having Thanksgiving dinner with me."

"Oh! Yes, of course, I remember now. You'll have to excuse the forgetfulness of an old man. Please come in. I could use the company." With a slight wink he added, "I don't get out too much these days, you know."

Tony entered the quaint living room and then took his bags over to the small table adjacent to the kitchen. "I just have a few more bags in the car. Wait 'til you taste this dinner, Ernie. It's from this little homestyle restaurant in DC. Doesn't look like much from the outside, but the food is to die for." Tony flinched just a bit after the words came out. Maybe "to die for" wasn't the best phrase to use in the presence of someone as senior as his dinner companion. But the other man didn't seem to notice at all.

"Can I help you with anything, son?"

Tony actually felt goose bumps at the older man's use of the term "son." His father had always called him either Anthony or "Junior," certainly nothing he'd ever considered to be a term of affection. It was likely a factor of the significant age difference between them, and perhaps nothing more, but the elderly man's use of the word still warmed his heart. "No, please, Ernie, let me get the rest. Just make yourself comfortable at the table and I'll take care of everything else."

Tony carefully brought in the rest of their dinner, including the turkey, and arranged the feast on the small table. Recalling where to find everything else they needed in Ernie's kitchen from his stay in the man's home a few days prior, he set the table. When he was completely satisfied with his work, he took his place across from Ernie and poured some wine in each of their glasses.

"Thank you, Agent D—" It soon became clear that the older man had forgotten his last name.

"Tony. Please, I would be honored if you would just call me Tony."

"Alright, then. Thank you, Tony."

"You're welcome. And thank _you. _ It's not every Thanksgiving I get to have dinner with a real-life American hero."

"Not trying to be nosy or anything, but don't you have parents of your own, kid?"

"My mother died when I was eight. I have a father, but to be honest with you, he's not real interested in spending time with me." Tony couldn't believe he'd just been so bluntly honest with someone he barely knew, but there was something about Ernie Yost. He had a feeling he'd answer pretty much anything the other man asked him.

"That's a shame. Nice kid like you? Do you at least have a girl?"

_Several girls. _Ok, so there was one question he couldn't give Ernie a completely honest answer to. "None at the moment, no. Guess I haven't been as lucky as you were."

The older man's eyes became sad and distant for a moment, no doubt remembering his beloved Dorothy whom he'd just recently lost after fifty-eight years of marriage. "Dorothy was a peach. Great cook, too."

"I'll bet she was. You must've had some wonderful Thanksgiving dinners. If you don't mind my asking, did you not have any children?"

"Couldn't."

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that." Tony silently wondered why they didn't adopt, but kept the question to himself. Enough of the older man's past wounds had been opened up in the past week, and his newfound friend certainly did not want to add to them.

"Oh, it's alright. Dorothy and I were very happy for fifty-eight years together. We were never lonely. I can't ask for much more than that. I'm a blessed man."

"You deserved it," Tony said simply.

His dinner companion seemed to suddenly remember something. "Say, do you want a ticket for the Metro? I have ten rides left on it, and I don't really have any place to go these days."

It was the same ticket he'd offered to Tony, Gibbs, and everyone else on the MCRT numerous times, but obviously didn't remember. "No, Ernie, I want you to keep it. You know why?"

"No. Why?"

"Because then you can come back to NCIS and visit me. And Kate and Gibbs and McGee, too."

"Oh, I'm sure you all have more important things to do than to be bothered by an old man."

"Don't be ridiculous. Besides, we could all use a break from Agent Gibbs every once in a while. Do you have any idea what it's like to work for the man? You know, he was a Marine, too."

"He took me to dinner." Ernie said it as if he'd just remembered, and Tony knew it was likely he had. "You know, he tricked me. That man was never at Iwo Jima."

"Yeah, well, that's Agent Gibbs for you. He's a sneaky guy, Ernie."

Corporal Yost seemed to still be remembering his dinner with Gibbs. "He's very proud of you."

Momentarily stunned, Tony looked up from the bite of stuffing on his fork. "He _said _that?"

"No, not exactly. I told him what a fine young man I thought you were. Men like Agent Gibbs, they don't say very much. But he was proud. I could tell."

Tony wanted it to be true, but his skepticism eventually won out. Touched by the other man's compliment, he replied, "_You _are a fine man, Ernie Yost." Holding up his wine glass, he proposed a toast.

"To heroes."

* * *

A while later, feeling overstuffed and sleepy, Tony and Ernie had settled on the couch to watch some of the Cowboys game. After about an hour, Tony noticed his companion was looking very tired, and taking that as his cue that the older man needed some rest, he stood up and stretched.

"Ernie, I really enjoyed spending Thanksgiving with you. Thanks again for letting me come over and hang out with you."

"It was my pleasure, young man. It was the first holiday without my Dorothy and I wasn't sure how I…" He was on the verge of breaking down again, as he had in the bullpen days ago when the team had first met him.

"Well, I'm very glad I thought of inviting myself over. But what are we gonna to do with all this food?"

Unfortunately, it was impossible to find a take-out Thanksgiving meal for just two people, so Tony and Ernie had found themselves with several days' worth of leftovers. "I have meals brought in. You should take it, since you don't have a girl to cook for you."

Tony tried to argue, but the older man was insistent, and quite stubborn when he wanted to be. So, a few minutes later, Agent DiNozzo found himself in his car with what seemed like about a weeks' worth of food. The problem was that he didn't really want to eat turkey every day for the next week.

Driving home, he was trying to think of someone who could use all that food when he realized that he had no idea how his boss had spent his Thanksgiving. In past years, he'd wondered with a sort of passing interest what Gibbs did during his holidays, but this year, before Ernie Yost had entered their lives, he had been more curious than ever. But it wasn't the kind of question he'd been comfortable asking his superior, particularly since he'd been burned in the past by digging too closely into the other man's personal life.

Now he was confronted with the thought that perhaps Gibbs had spent his entire Thanksgiving Day alone in his basement, and a strong wave of guilt passed over him. _I could just stop by and drop off some food. I could pretend I was in the neighborhood. I wouldn't even have to go inside. _At that moment he spotted a Starbucks up ahead, and made a last-minute decision to pick up some coffee for his boss. Because you can't have pumpkin pie without coffee, he reasoned. And if you're Gibbs, you can't have _anything _without coffee, really.

So with a steaming cup of fresh coffee and enough leftovers to feed a small army, Tony turned onto Gibbs' street. As he was approaching his boss' house, he noticed a silver convertible backing out of the driveway. He pulled over to the curb, watching as the car containing the mysterious redhead, backed into the street and pulled away.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid. Of course Gibbs didn't spend the holiday alone. How could I have forgotten the redhead?_ Suddenly feeling embarrassed and very foolish, Tony briefly considered whether or not to just drop off the coffee and maybe the pie on Gibbs' doorstep, ring the bell once, and run back to his car in enough time to take off before Gibbs got to the door. _Or better yet, I'll just leave and pretend I was never here. _

Deciding the latter was his best course of action, he put the car back into drive and was just about to pull out when his phone rang. _Gibbs. _

As nonchalantly as possible, he answered. "Hey, Boss. What's up?"

"I could ask you the same thing. Are you coming in or were you planning to sit out there in your car all night?"

_Crap. How does he do that? _Gibbs must have been watching out the window as his mysterious friend drove away and noticed his car sitting there. "Uh, actually, Boss, I was in the neighborhood but I just realized how late it is…"

"It's 8:00, DiNozzo. I know you don't go to bed anywhere near this early." Tony looked up and saw Gibbs was now standing in the doorway, cell phone in hand, staring at him.

"Right. I'll be right there." Hanging up his phone and knowing he was caught with no possible way out, Tony grabbed the coffee and the pumpkin pie. He was just gonna have to be stuck with the rest of these leftovers, cause there was no way he was hauling all that to his boss' door and then having to explain exactly _why_ he'd thought Gibbs might be in need of all that food.

When he approached the doorway, Gibbs gave sort of a half smile and got out of the way so Tony could enter his house. But Tony was still trying to get out of the awkward situation. "Actually, Boss, I just came over to drop off some pumpkin pie I had left over from dinner with my friend. Sort of a last-minute decision, really, since I was nearby. I can just drop it off here and be on my way if it's all the same to you."

"It's not." Gibbs just then noticed the coffee. "There a Starbucks in your friend's house, too?"

Tony was seriously praying it was dark enough to cover the fact that he was blushing furiously. Laughing nervously, he answered, "Oh, uh, no, Boss, of course not. There was one on the way so I stopped. I don't know what I was thinking. I should have known you had company."

"_Had _company, Tony. Company's gone now, as you can see. No reason you can't come in and stay a while." Only Gibbs would make an offer of hospitality sound like a command, one Tony knew he could no longer resist.

"Sure, Boss. For a few minutes, I guess." Tony entered the house rather reluctantly, handing Gibbs the coffee and the bag containing the pie, both of which Gibbs took to the kitchen.

"You gonna have a piece of this pie with me, DiNozzo?"

"Yeah, ok. A small piece. Thanks."

Gibbs nodded towards a chair at the kitchen table, silently instructing Tony to have a seat, which he did. A couple of minutes later, Gibbs joined him at the table.

"Looks like you had a good day, DiNozzo. Am I allowed to ask who your friend is?"

_If I tell him, I wonder if I'm allowed to ask who the redhead is. Probably not. _He could have lied. Gibbs would surely know it was a lie, but would probably not press the issue. Still, it was his boss who had paired him with Ernie Yost, trusting him with the older man's care while they'd been searching for the information necessary to clear his name. It seemed right to tell Gibbs the truth. "Actually, Boss, I spent the day with Ernie Yost."

Gibbs sat silently for a moment as he processed the information. When Tony had first told Kate he was spending the day with an "old friend," Gibbs had studied the younger man carefully. He wouldn't have put it past DiNozzo to make up imaginary plans for the holiday in order to not have to feel embarrassed in front of his teammates. After watching Tony for a moment, he'd realized his agent was telling the truth, but still he'd assumed the other man was spending the day with one of his frat brothers. Instead, Tony had volunteered to spend the day with a lonely man who was fifty years his senior. DiNozzo, it seemed, was a never-ending source of surprises. Pride welled up inside him, but he simply responded with a quiet, "That's a good job, Tony."

For the second time that day, the same warmth washed over Tony that he'd felt when Ernie Yost had called him "son." Not knowing what to say, he bestowed his boss with a slight smile and a nod of acknowledgement.

"You know, I should probably get going, Boss."

"You getting up early to go shopping tomorrow or something?"

"Shopping? No way. I wouldn't be caught dead at a mall on Black Friday. Besides, I do most of my shopping online."

"You're not planning to special order another pair of sunglasses, are you?" _Cause the last thing I need is you buying another expensive pair of sunglasses before I get the ones I already ordered you._

"Not anytime soon," he said with a dejected sigh. Had he not been caught up in his disappointment all over again, he might have thought to analyze the slightly out-of-place question a bit further. Instead, he was a little upset at having been reminded of the loss of his sunglasses all over again, after what had been such a lovely day thus far.

As he stood up to leave, he was hit by another wave of embarrassment. "Sorry I just showed up without calling, Boss."

"No need to call first, Tony. Door's always unlocked and I'm usually in the basement. You're welcome anytime."

The younger man had been so embarrassed, he'd simply exchanged a brief "Good night" with his boss and hurried out the door. It wasn't until he was halfway home that the full implication of Gibbs' words sunk in.

_Gibbs just gave me an open invitation to his home._ Sure, Gibbs had sort of said once before that if he felt like talking about his father anymore, his basement would always be there. But this was broader than even that. He'd pretty much just told him to drop by and visit whenever he wanted.

At that moment, Tony couldn't imagine any reason _ever _presenting itself for him to just show up at his boss' home unannounced, let himself in, and go charging down the stairs to the other man's basement to hang out.

Little did he know that in a few short weeks, his world would be rocked to the point that he'd find himself doing exactly that.


	8. Chapter 8 - Hearts Break

**Filler and tag for "Heart Break."**

**While not exactly a two-parter, the next story I'm planning (for "Forced Entry" – title TBD) will be sort of a continuation of this one – they are definitely connected. Also, the timeline of the next one will pick up right after where I left off at the end of "Special Order" – continuing on from the **_**two weeks later **_**tag.**

"**Hearts Break"**

They'd had the case since early that morning – _very _early that morning - and all day Tony had waited for the instruction from his boss that had never come. Now, it was nearly 5pm, and the younger agent was antsy. He had been waiting all day for the words to simply come out of Gibbs' mouth so he could volunteer to take the assignment, responsible Special Agent that he was, and right now he could almost swear that the older man had delayed giving the order as long as possible _on purpose._ Tony was done playing it cool, pretending not to care. It was time to take action.

"You need something DiNozzo?" The minute Kate and McGee had been conveniently both absent from their workstations, Tony had planted himself in front of Gibbs' desk. The Lead Agent was about ninety percent certain he knew what Tony wanted, and had known all day. The only reason he wasn't one hundred percent certain was because this was DiNozzo he was thinking about, and with DiNozzo one could never be _absolutely _certain of anything.

"Commander Dornan was the Safety Officer on the USS Kennedy," Tony answered matter-of-factly.

Now the ninety percent certainty was up to one hundred percent. Still, Gibbs chose to play dumb for just a little while longer. "Yeah, you told me that this morning. So?"

"So," Tony said slowly, feeling both anticipation and a slight sense of dread, "shouldn't we be interviewing the NCIS Agent Afloat assigned to the Kennedy? You know, to get background on the victim. Find out who may have wanted him dead."

Giving his agent a hard look, Gibbs finally brought the conversation to its inevitable destination. "You mean Paula Cassidy. And don't pretend you didn't already know she'd been reassigned to the Kennedy. Or that you haven't been angling for me to send you to interview her since the second you figured out where Dornan was assigned. In spite of the fact that we just ruled out the death being an accident a few minutes ago."

"Wow, Boss. That was a lot of words for you." Seeing that Gibbs was not in a joking frame of mind, Tony quickly continued. "Ok, look. Obviously, someone is going to have to talk to her, and since she and I already have a rapport established…."

"And since that's not the _only _thing you and Cassidy have 'established,' you want me to send you to talk to her."

"Please, Boss," the younger man said earnestly.

The Lead Agent part of his brain told Gibbs that it made perfect sense to send DiNozzo, along with either Kate or McGee, to talk to Agent Cassidy, along with Dornan's other shipmates. The utterly irrational portion, however, the one with the fiercely protective streak towards the young man in front of him, screamed at him to keep Tony far away from the female agent who had caused him so much frustration in the past year.

"Haven't you had about enough of Agent Cassidy? Has she even bothered to contact you in the week she's been at Norfolk?"

Tony's defenses went up immediately, his expression making it clear that his boss had hit a sensitive spot. "That's not completely fair. I haven't contacted her either."

"As I recall, you were disappointed cause she made it clear to you she wasn't serious. And that's why you haven't contacted her."

"Well, maybe I've realized I was a little hasty."

"Maybe you had the right idea before, DiNozzo."

The two men were at a momentary impasse, staring at each other to determine who would back down first. However, Tony's features softened as he decided to take a less confrontational approach. "I have to try, Boss."

Gibbs briefly closed his eyes and sighed heavily. He knew it wasn't his place to interfere and from past experience he was well aware that the younger man would only resent him for it. And still wouldn't listen to him anyway. His mind was obviously already made up. "I'll send you and Kate to the Kennedy in the morning. But the case comes first, you got it DiNozzo? You get too distracted and I'll bring you in so fast…"

"I got it. Case is my first priority. Thanks, Boss," Tony said with one of those smiles that lit up his entire face.

Gibbs suspected the happiness wouldn't last long. But, oh, how he hoped he was wrong this time.

* * *

Thus far, nothing had gone the way Tony had hoped. Paula's reaction to his presence had been unenthusiastic, to say the least. He'd even go so far as to call it disappointed. The heat that had been so prominent between them in Cuba had become decidedly chilly. At least from her end.

To make matters even worse, Gibbs had chewed her out in front of the whole team for failing to write up a report on the incident with Ensign Hayes because his Commander had asked her not to. And when his boss had heatedly informed her that NCIS Special Agents don't look the other way simply because they are told to, he'd looked directly at Tony instead of Agent Cassidy. It was as good as saying, "I told you so" right there in the bullpen in front of his team.

Paula had felt humiliated as Gibbs had sent her to bring in Ensign Hayes, and then sent Tony after her to hold her hand and make sure she did as she was told. Tony had put his arm around her in an attempt at both providing comfort and showing his support, regardless of what his boss thought about it, but as soon as they'd reached the elevator, his gesture had been rebuffed.

And now that they'd reached the Kennedy, they had discovered that Ensign Hayes was nowhere to be found, and that Dornan had been carrying out a personal vendetta against Hayes' father by treating the young man so harshly that everyone had noticed. Hayes was now missing and looking more and more suspicious by the minute. And now Tony had to be the one to call and break the bad news to Gibbs. Mentally preparing himself for an even more pissed off Leroy Jethro Gibbs than the one he'd left at the Navy Yard just a few hours ago, Tony dialed the familiar number.

"What now, DiNozzo? Please tell me you've got Hayes."

"Hey, Boss. Hayes walked off the ship two days ago and no one knows where he is. And, apparently, Dornan served under Hayes' father and had to be put in his place on numerous occasions. And Dornan saw the opportunity to get a little revenge on the father through the son."

Tony really hated it when his boss was silent for so long.

"Well, that's just great, DiNozzo. So the guy Agent Cassidy felt so sorry for may very well be our killer and now we don't even know where he is."

"It's not her fault, you know. Writing up a report wouldn't have prevented any of this."

"And you know this, how, exactly?"

Tony was fighting to keep his cool. Gibbs had always disliked Paula, for reasons not entirely clear to him, and came down three times harder on her mistakes than he would if, say, Kate had screwed up. But he really didn't want to get into a fight with his boss, especially not right now. "I don't. But you don't know either."

Gibbs also didn't want a fight, particularly not after remembering the kicked puppy expression Tony had been wearing ever since he'd come back to the office from his first visit to the Kennedy with Agent Cassidy in tow. It was obvious she was giving Tony the cold shoulder. "Can't change it now either way. You and Cassidy see if you can find any clues to where Hayes might've gone."

To Tony's relief, Gibbs abruptly hung up.

Now he could go back to trying to melt the ice queen.

* * *

The aura of disappointment in the air was palpable and it was coming off of not just one, but _two_ men Gibbs cared for deeply in waves. And there wasn't a thing he could do for either of them.

Ducky wandered off sadly to seek someone who could make use of the two opera tickets he'd procured, originally for himself and his lovely new doctor friend. Unfortunately, with Doctor Byers' revelation that she'd been involved not only in medical negligence resulting in death, but in the attempt to cover it up after the fact, neither of them now had the stomach to pursue what had seemed a promising relationship. _Maybe I should expand Rule 12 to include anyone met through the course of an investigation. Not that I could ever tell Ducky how to run his love life._

Now Gibbs was left alone with one unhappy young agent. If ever there had been a situation where Rule 12 should have been strictly adhered to, he thought, it was the one between Tony and Paula Cassidy. It was no comfort to know that he'd accurately predicted the outcome long ago, because that didn't make Tony hurt any less.

But DiNozzo was more than just hurt; he was ticked off. And while Gibbs felt that Agent Cassidy was the more deserving target of the younger man's anger, he also realized it was in fact, at least at the moment, directed mostly at him.

"Be as mad at me as you want, DiNozzo, but Agent Cassidy screwed up by not writing that report. You know it, and she does too."

"Maybe. But you didn't have to embarrass her in front of the whole team. And you certainly didn't have to practically accuse her of being responsible for Hayes' death. And Dornan's."

"I never said that."

"You may as well have. And what about Kate? You tell her to just 'get over it'?"

"Kate's guilt is misdirected. And it doesn't solve anything. I needed her to get her head right and back on this case."

"Yeah, well, your methods leave a lot to be desired sometimes, Gibbs."

_Gibbs. Not Boss. _"Never claimed to be a touchy, feely guy. Kate'll be fine."

"And Paula?"

"I'm guessing _Paula _made it pretty clear to you that she's not your concern these days."

Tony was visibly stung but he bounced back admirably. "And what would make you think that?"

"Body language. Hers _and _yours."

"It doesn't help that she's so pissed at _you_. And humiliated. She won't even return my calls now."

"Tony," Gibbs said making an effort to sound more gentle than before, "you really think that made a difference? You've been tense ever since you walked in here with her yesterday. She moved on a long time ago. Accept it. Move on."

McGee's earlier words were echoing in his ears. _Sometimes you just gotta know when to let go, Tony._ What did either of them know? McGee was barely past puberty and Gibbs was thrice divorced. If he wanted advice on his love life, he'd go to somebody who actually knew what they were talking about. Like Ernie Yost, a man who'd known exactly what he'd wanted and gone after it. And enjoyed over fifty years of marriage. And maybe after hearing Ernie's story there was a part of Tony that had started to want that again. A _real _relationship.

"I'm not ready to give up yet. She's just playing a game with me. She's mad cause I didn't contact her for so long, and she's making me pay. That's what women do."

Preparing to leave for the evening, Gibbs stopped in front of Tony's desk with one last word of admonishment. "DiNozzo, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I just told Ducky. You can't let any woman affect you like this. Let it go." Gibbs gave him one last pointed look and walked out.

As Tony watched him leave, he struggled between Gibbs' words of advice and his temptation to call and leave one more message for Paula. As the internal debate was waging, he noticed Kate walking down the corridor towards her desk.

"Kate. Thought you'd left already. Burning the midnight oil?" The words had already escaped his mouth before he'd caught a good look at her face. All traces of makeup gone, eyes red-rimmed and swollen. He didn't know where she'd gone to, but she'd obviously been crying intensely. She sat in her chair and looked over at him as if to answer the question but couldn't find the words.

Paula Cassidy momentarily forgotten, Tony suddenly realized what a lousy partner he'd been today. Too caught up in his own disappointment, he'd failed to notice how upset Kate had been, in spite of the fact that he'd known since that morning that she had been forced to kill an innocent man. Paula may have been out of his control for the moment, but there was something he _could _do.

Tony got up from his chair and walked over to Kate's desk, leaning against the edge and looking down to where she was sitting. "Wanna talk about it?"

She met his eyes sadly. "What's there to say? I killed him. I can't take it back. I can't _ever_ take it back."

No matter how many years he'd been a cop, knowing he'd taken a life had never really gotten that much easier. He'd just learned to deal with it better. Most of the time. For someone with the degree of empathy that Kate had, he couldn't imagine how much more difficult to accept it had to be. And then learning that the victim had been a very troubled, but innocent, young man….

"I'd have done the same thing, Kate. We all would. You didn't know he wasn't going to take a shot at Gibbs. You _still _don't know that he wouldn't have. Not really. All you know is that he didn't kill Commander Dornan."

"He needed help. He didn't deserve to die. He was practically still a kid."

"He was an adult. Still responsible for his own choices. He didn't have to run in the first place. He could've turned himself in like his coach advised him to."

"So you think I should just 'get over it,' too?" she asked bitterly.

"I wouldn't have phrased it quite like that. But we both know Gibbs has his own special way with words." He leaned in conspiratorially and added, "Imagine the stories his exes could probably tell us."

This got a tiny smile from his partner. "The thing is, I know he's right. In my head. But I can't get the guilt to go away."

Tony suddenly had a faraway look. "Yeah. I know what you mean. Guilt's a funny thing like that. Sometimes it doesn't make any sense."

Wondering what kind of guilt her partner may be harboring and over what, Kate asked, "So how do you get rid of it?"

Thoughtfully, he answered, "I don't know if you do. I think you just learn to live with it."

* * *

Gibbs was halfway home when his cell phone rang. He would've loved to just ignore it, but in his line of work the possibility of an emergency was always present and ignoring a call was simply unacceptable. To the point that he'd made it a rule for his team. And if his team couldn't be unreachable, then even less so their leader.

Glancing at the caller ID, he was a bit thrown by seeing the name of Paula Cassidy.

"Agent Cassidy. This is a surprise."

There was a momentary pause. "Why do you hate me so much, Gibbs?"

She could almost hear the smirk in his reply. "Never said I hated you. Just don't approve of the way you do your job sometimes. Or the way you _don't _do it."

"I made a judgment call. Maybe it was the wrong one, but you know as well as I do that things aren't always black or white. Agents have to make calls all the time based on limited information. Sometimes you make the wrong one. I'm guessing even the great Agent Gibbs has made some bad calls in his past."

"I think you don't take things as seriously as you should, Agent Cassidy." Although not verbalized, the implication that he was referring to more than how she performed her duties as an NCIS agent was clear. "But that's not why you're calling me."

"I know your problem with me is about more than how I do my job. I know it's also about Tony."

"Do ya _think_?"

"I'm calling to tell you that you don't have to worry about me 'distracting' Tony anymore."

"Mmm. Well, that's very thoughtful of you, but you're a little bit late."

"I know. And I regret that."

He didn't doubt that she meant it, but it didn't fix anything. "Doesn't really help DiNozzo, though, does it? You gonna return his calls or just keep ignoring him?"

"I'm going to ask him not to call me anymore."

_Well that's just gonna make his day, Agent Cassidy. _

"You were right," she added with great reluctance.

"I know. But which time are you referring to?"

She wanted to make a smart retort, but bit it back. "Last year. When you tried to tell me I didn't really know Tony. That time, you were right. I thought he was just like me, but now I know that he isn't."

"Better late than never, I guess."

She hated the man's arrogance so much. But she also knew the chances were good she'd have to work with him again in the future. "That's all I called to tell you, Gibbs. I know you don't like me and I get that. But I hope we can be professional about it if we ever have to work together again in the future."

"As long as we both do our jobs, I don't see why not."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"Good night, Agent C—"

"Wait, Gibbs. Just one more thing. You know, I don't exactly understand why, but Tony really looks up to you. And however out-of-line you may sometimes be about it, I can tell you care about him. He's a really good guy. Just….look out for him."

Gibbs started to respond when he realized that she had just managed to hang up on _him._

After a brief smile of genuine amusement, his thoughts turned much darker. There was a sense of finality in what Paula had told him. No more playing games – she was really going to end it.

_And DiNozzo's gonna be very difficult to live with for a while. _


	9. Chapter 9 - Rebounding

"**Prequel," filler, and tag for "Forced Entry."**

**Just to clarify the timeline, this is picking up right after the tag for Chapter 6 "Special Order" – which jumped ahead two weeks. That means that the last two chapters' events occurred in the interim during that two-week period **_**and **_**we are back to the Monday morning that Tony finds his brand new sunglasses from "Santa" in his desk drawer…**

**Rebounding**

_**Monday, December 6, 2004, morning**_

With a satisfied grin, Tony carefully placed his brand new Oakleys back in their home inside his desk drawer. _Maybe this won't be such a bad Monday after all._

He noticed that his computer was finally finished booting up for the day and he began to follow the daily ritual of checking his work emails. Deciding there was nothing urgent to be found there, he switched over to his personal email account. He'd checked it one last time the night before to see if Paula had by chance returned his messages since she obviously hadn't felt inclined to return his phone calls. His heart skipped a beat when he noticed a brand-new message from Paula's personal email address from earlier that morning. Looking around cautiously to make sure there were no nosy coworkers too close to his personal space, he double-clicked to open the message.

_Tony,_

_I thought I'd made myself clear last week, but apparently not clear enough since I've listened to about a thousand voice mails from you since then. We are coworkers and nothing more. You were fun to hang out with, but that's all it was for me. Just fun. I wish you the best, Tony, but I've moved on and you need to do the same. _

_Please do not call me anymore._

_Paula_

Tony read and then reread the message in disbelief, his brief earlier optimism now vanished, replaced by the sharp sting of rejection. _Fun? That's all I was to her? How could my instincts have been so wrong? _The words of his teammates began to play over and over in Tony's head. First, Kate's taunting voice saying sarcastically that Paula must've really been "something special," huh? Then Gibbs was telling him what an idiot he was for letting a woman get to him like this. Finally, there was McGee. _You gotta know when to let go, Tony. Now excuse me, please. I have a date. _He could practically see the Probie laughing at him, enjoying his rare moment of victory. When Gibbs' real life voice informed him that he was needed for a meeting in MTAC, Tony didn't even hear him, instead staring at, but right through, his computer screen, the email from Paula still open.

A concerned Gibbs was now standing in front of his desk. "_DiNozzo!"_

The sharp bark from his boss finally got the agent's attention. He quickly shut down the email from Paula. "Boss?" he said, with not a little confusion as to why Gibbs was suddenly standing there practically biting his head off.

"Didn't you hear me? I said we have a meeting in MTAC."

"Oh. Right, Boss. Sorry," he answered distractedly.

Gibbs studied Tony's face with alarm. McGee and Kate were now also staring with fascination in Tony's direction. Their teammate always made a show of jumping at Gibbs' orders, so his failure to immediately comply was highly unusual. Still seeming confused, Tony began to look around for a notepad to take to his meeting when Gibbs abruptly handed said notepad to him. It had been in the corner of his desk the whole time.

"Thanks," he mumbled as he stood up to follow Gibbs, who was still staring at him intently. His boss simply nodded and quietly turned towards the stairs with the younger agent following somewhat lethargically behind.

When they were out of hearing range, Kate and McGee turned to look at each other.

McGee was the first to speak. "Any idea what _tha_t was about?"

"No. Maybe he's just tired. Probably nothing to worry about." Nevertheless, Kate was worried anyway. Her instincts were telling her there was a lot more going on with her partner than a post-weekend hangover.

* * *

_**Monday, December 6, 2004, afternoon**_

Tony had barely spoken all day. Kate sat across from him trying to watch him discreetly, looking for any clues as to his depressed mood. _He looks exhausted. Maybe that really is the problem. Too much partying. _Still, had that been the case, it would have been far more likely that her partner would have been jabbering all day about his fabulous weekend until she was ready to slap him. _This_ Tony was disconcerting.

"You're quiet today, DiNozzo."

"I'm surprised to hear you complaining about it," he replied without emotion.

"Who's complaining?" she asked lightly, hoping to get a joking response. When she got no reaction, she continued. "It's just unusual." Still nothing. She put down the folder she had been holding and now looked directly across the room at her partner. "Seriously, Tony, are you ok?"

The uncharacteristically expressed concern from Kate worked to get his attention, but didn't get her an honest answer. "Fine, Kate. Thanks for asking."

She was about to press for more when Gibbs and McGee walked back into the room. Gibbs, she noticed, glanced over in Tony's direction when he walked past, his gaze lingering just a bit too long to be considered a passing glance, but unsurprisingly their superior said nothing.

The Probie was a bit less subtle in his scrutiny of his teammate, so much so that Tony, who hadn't even looked at McGee but had sensed his gaze, testily said, "There a problem, Agent McGee?"

Flustered at having been caught, the younger agent struggled to come up with something. "Uh, no, no problem, Tony. Actually, I was just wondering if you ever heard back from Agent Cassidy." In an innocent but nervous effort to make conversation to diffuse the tension in the atmosphere, the junior agent had inadvertently lit the fuse.

DiNozzo fixed a glare on the younger man that made his eyes go wide and his hands begin to sweat. When he wanted to, Tony could scare him worse than Gibbs. The Lead Agent, in fact, was preparing himself to get in the middle of his two male agents if necessary.

But instead Tony stood up, slammed his desk drawer shut with a loud bang, causing Kate to jump and McGee to wince. And then he left, not even remembering to take his brand new sunglasses with him.

The two remaining younger agents stared at each other in shock, mouths agape. Gibbs simply clenched his jaw and breathed deeply. All three of them had the same thought.

_Guess now we know what's gotten into him. _

* * *

_**Tuesday, December 7, 2004, morning**_

_Get it together, DiNozzo, _Tony had said to himself on his drive to work. He'd been filled with self-recriminations since the day before. Letting a woman affect him this much was ridiculous. Letting other people _see _how affected he was by it was simply unacceptable. _Today will be different. _In an effort to make it so, he'd worn his most expensive suit.

Pasting on his 1,000-watt smile and even forcing a bounce into his step, he strode into the bullpen. "Good _morning, _Kate!"

Oh, how he would have _loved _a picture of Kate's face, startled and confounded. "Good morning, Tony," she said very cautiously.

He turned to look at McGee. _Poor kid looks absolutely terrified._ "Pro-o-o-o-bie!" he said with a chuckle. _I'm gonna have so much fun playing with McGee today. _Walking over and putting his hands on either side of the younger man's face and squeezing, he said as if he was talking to a small child, "What's the matter? Turn that frown upside down, Agent McGee!" He then patted each side of the Probie's face with just slightly more force than necessary.

Turning towards his desk, he caught Gibbs watching him again. This time it was the look that said _you don't fool me, DiNozzo. _But it didn't matter, because even though the other man saw right through his act, Tony finally knew him well enough to realize that Gibbs wouldn't blow his cover in front of the other agents.

This was going to be a day to remember. He'd already come up with at least five separate pranks he could play on Agent McGee. He recalled one in particular with a devious smile, causing him to immediately turn his face to hide from his coworkers. It involved super glue…

* * *

_**Tuesday, December 7, 2004, evening**_

Tony closed the door to his apartment behind him in relief. These had to have been the two most boring days in NCIS history. He was practically begging for a case to keep his thoughts occupied, but naturally since he wanted one so badly, none came. At least he had the memory of Agent McGee and his little Probie fingers inextricably attached to his computer keyboard to entertain him.

Still chuckling to himself, Tony removed his jacket and threw it over a chair. Then his shoes. _Aww, heck, it's a sweatpants and t-shirt kind of night. _His work clothes strewn all over his apartment with glee, the very special agent quickly threw on his favorite Ohio State t-shirt and sweatpants. He'd had to keep up a front all day, but now he was finally home. His kingdom. He could do whatever he wanted for the rest of the evening. _Which is what, exactly?_

He decided to toss a frozen pizza in the oven, then picked up the television listings looking for a game. Football, basketball, hockey, _anything _really. But absolutely nothing intrigued him. _Ok, I'll check movies. _He was again disappointed to find several of what he would consider "chick flicks" on the schedule for the evening. Ooey gooey love stories were the last things he wanted to be watching.

As the timer went off signaling that his dinner was ready, he had another thought. _Shopping. Buying something nice always works. _Then he guiltily remembered that Christmas was coming, and that he should probably be thinking of buying gifts for others instead of indulging himself. He only had a few people to shop for, but they were all difficult. Gibbs he could get a bottle of Jack. But the rest of his coworkers - he had _no _idea. And he was almost equally clueless regarding his father, though it didn't matter much in his case. Since the man never gave _him _anything remotely relevant or useful.

He grabbed a paper plate and a can of soda and then took his meal to the bedroom and sat down at his desk, switching on his computer. After surfing several websites and making no more progress than when he had first sat down, he was back to being bored again. So he started surfing the web for other possible sites of interest.

He laughed out loud at the name of one website he came across: Hot Hookups. _This I gotta see. Who comes up with this stuff? _Browsing the home page, he saw that there was a chatroom. _What the heck? It's free entertainment. _He came up with a screen name he could easily remember. _I'll be Buckeyefan007. _

A few minutes after entering the chat room, he saw a pop-up window. _You are receiving a private message from Hotjugs24. Would you like to accept? _That one almost made him choke on his pizza. _Hotjugs24? Oh, how could I say no? _Clicking "accept," he quickly read the message:

**Hotjugs24: **Hi. I hope you don't mind the private message. I really liked your screen name.

**Buckeyefan007: **Well, hello, "Hotjugs." I am intrigued by yours as well. Is 24 your age?

**Hotjugs24: **How did you know?

**Buckeyefan007: **Guess I'm just a smart guy. What's a nice girl like you doing in an internet chat room?

**Hotjugs24: **It's just really hard for me to meet nice guys so I decided to try something different. You?

**Buckeyefan007: **Honestly? I was bored.

**Hotjugs24: **So what do you do, Buckeyefan?

**Buckeyefan007: **I work for the government . What about you?

**Hotjugs24: **I'm a cheerleader for the Baltimore Ravens.

_Yeah, sure you are, "hotjugs." _

**Hotjugs24: **Are you interested in meeting me? We could have a really good time together.

_Ok, now this is beyond entertainment and venturing into creepy._

**Buckeyefan007: **I don't think so. Sorry. But good luck.

Tony signed off quickly. He couldn't even imagine meeting a stranger he'd found in an internet chat room. He knew it worked out for some people, but years in law enforcement had made him a skeptic. Too many crazies in the world. And _Hotjugs24 _was definitely not likely to be some hot, blonde, young NFL cheerleader. The thought of what the person he'd just been talking to actually looked like made him shudder.

_Maybe one of those chick flicks isn't such a bad idea after all._

* * *

_**Wednesday, December 8, 2004, lunchtime**_

"Don't you think maybe you're pushing it a little bit with the pranks on McGee?" Kate asked him as they stood in line at the sub shop.

"Look at you, little-miss-innocence. Don't think I didn't catch you laughing at them yourself."

She couldn't really argue with that. Some of it _had _been pretty funny. Bordering on hysterical, even. But the junior agent on their team was becoming less and less amused by the day. "Some of it's funny, Tony, but you need to know when to quit. I think McGee's starting to get really angry with you."

"It'll be good for him, Kate. Probie needs to develop a thicker skin anyway. You see the way he stutters around Gibbs," he said with emphasis.

With more seriousness, Kate countered with, "I know what you're doing. You're trying to distract us because you're really upset about Paula Cassidy."

Tony's face hardened momentarily until he pasted on an innocent expression and inquired, "I'm sorry, Paula _who?"_

"Pretend all you want. You were really upset the other day. We all saw it."

"Drop it, Kate," he said just a little bit dangerously.

"You'll meet someone else, Tony. You just need to start looking in the right places." The familiar anger and jealousy towards his coworkers was beginning to return. He knew Kate had a new man friend. _Harrison. _Gibbs had his mystery redhead. McGee and Abby had each other. That left himself and Ducky, and as much as he adored the older man, he really didn't want to be lumped together with him in the category of the lovelorn. And that Jimmy Palmer guy was just too strange to even be considered.

"Maybe I already have," he said, doing his best to sound mysterious.

With a high level of skepticism, his partner responded, "You've met someone else already. In like three days."

"What can I say? Women are just drawn to me."

"Uh-huh. And what's her name? Or do you even know?"

Tony just smiled in response.

"You don't know, do you? Aw, Tony. Where did you meet this one? The 7-11?"

"On the internet." _What Kate doesn't know won't hurt either one of us._

"The _internet, _Tony? You can't be serious."

"What?" he asked, feigning hurt. "Lots of people meet on the internet."

"Lots of _perverts _meet people on the internet. You know, come to think of it, maybe you fit right in. Just make sure you take your Sig if you ever decide to meet her."

"Kate! I'm beginning to think you don't trust my judgment."

"You're just figuring that out now, DiNozzo?"

She pranced off to find them a table and Tony allowed himself a moment of silent laughter before choosing to follow.

_Yanking Kate's chain is almost as fun as playing pranks on McGee. Almost._

* * *

_**Friday, December 10, 2004, afternoon**_

Finally admitting to himself, however reluctantly, that Kate was right about McGee, Tony brought back a Nutter Butter from the break room and tossed it casually onto the younger man's desk.

"Is this another joke?" McGee asked him somewhat petulantly.

"No, Probie, this is a truce. I may have taken things a little too far this week and I hope there are no hard feelings." He meant it, of course. But he also wanted to ask the other man a favor, and clearly some buttering up was in order before he could even consider it.

Still a bit suspicious, McGee examined the packaging. Deciding everything was in order he gave a hesitant, "Thanks," and opened the package.

"You got plans tomorrow afternoon?"

Now the junior agent looked confused. "Are you talking to me?"

Laughing just a tad more forcefully than necessary, Tony said, "_Probie, _of _course _I'm talking to you. Besides, there's no one else here."

With a frown, McGee reminded him, "We're supposed to be on duty tomorrow."

"Yeah, but just tomorrow morning. If we don't get a case, we'll be out of here at least by noon. And since this has been the most dull week _ever…" _Opening his desk drawer, he pulled out a section of the newspaper and, looking around to make sure his boss was nowhere in sight, he walked it over to his young partner's desk. "Take a look, McGee." He pointed to a large ad.

"Playboy centerfolds hosting a fundraiser at a soup kitchen?"

"Yeah, McGee," he said excitedly. "Hot babes and good deeds. Can you get any better than that?"

"And you want me to go to this. With you."

"C'mon, it'll be fun! I promise not to tell Abby."

McGee felt slightly flattered that his partner and tormentor, who he'd always assumed couldn't stand him, was inviting him to hang out with him. And he was probably right about the hot babes. "Sure, Tony. I mean, _if _we don't have to work."

"That's the spirit, McGee!"

He could feel it in the air. This was definitely going to be a better weekend than the last.

* * *

_**Saturday, December 11, 2004, late afternoon**_

_So close. _They'd come so close to getting through the morning without a case. Then, at 10:50am, Gibbs had strolled into the bullpen announcing that a Marine's wife had shot an intruder at Quantico, and just like that, Tony's weekend plans had been destroyed. This, after wishing and hoping for a case all week. _I didn't mean on Saturday, _he'd thought with dismay.

Of course, it had been McGee who had inadvertently set him off all over again. "_Well, Tony, looks like we aren't going to make it to that fundraiser today after all." _

_Well, no kidding, McGee. Thank you so much for stating the obvious and then rubbing my nose in it._

The idea of setting up the younger man to drink Gibbs' coffee had just fallen into his lap, really. Like a gift. Even Kate, who had scolded him for his pranks a few days earlier, had been amused. He thought it was brilliant. Even if the Probie had yet to find the humor in the situation.

And that little confrontation they'd had in the bullpen, that really hadn't been his fault. Clearly the Probie had provoked him. He was simply pointing out the obvious, that rapists are known liars and it wouldn't be right to put Laura Rowens through any more trauma based on nothing but the word of the suspect. McGee was the the one who had suggested they consider the possibility that Davison could be telling the truth.

If he'd overreacted and almost been pushed to come to blows with the Probie, it could be blamed on the younger man pushing his buttons. Telling him he was the master at handing out crap. _But you are. Most of the time, you're full of crap, DiNozzo. And you dish plenty of it out to the Probie. More than he deserves._

And now, he was being punished by being relegated to his desk to go through Davison's phone records while Gibbs had taken Kate to search his apartment. It simply wasn't fair.

Looking up, Tony noticed that Gibbs had returned to the bullpen alone.

"Where's Kate, Boss?"

Impatiently, Gibbs replied, "I think she went to the head, DiNozzo. Do you have to know where everyone is every minute of the day?"

Now, it seemed, the boss was ticked at him, too, and he wasn't sure why. "No, of course not, Boss. Forget I asked."

"Need you to help Kate and me take the evidence from Davison's apartment down to Abby's lab."

Getting up, he responded with a falsely enthusiastic, "On it, Boss."

"And DiNozzo…Bring your gym clothes tomorrow. If we wrap this case, you and I are gonna do some training."

"Tomorrow's Sunday, Boss." Gibbs' face left no room for argument. "Right. Never mind. I'll be ready."

* * *

_**Sunday, December 12, 2004, evening**_

Tony really wasn't in the mood to do combat training this evening. His weekend had already been ruined by the case, topping off one truly lousy week. And Gibbs was about the last person he needed to be spending time with right now. His nerves were shot, he was tired, cranky, and honestly feeling guilty for getting so nasty with McGee yesterday. In this state, it wouldn't take much for him to either hurt someone or start crying, and neither option was especially palatable.

When Gibbs walked in, he noticed the other man hadn't changed into his gym clothes and thought, briefly, that he was getting a reprieve. "You change your mind, Boss?"

"No. I didn't say you and I were sparring tonight. We're gonna do something a little different."

Tony's heart sank. He had a feeling "different" would be something he wasn't going to like very much.

Gibbs nodded for Tony to follow him and they moved over to the 100lb punching bag and Gibbs handed him a pair of gloves.

Confused, the younger man queried, "Why the punching bag? I thought you weren't concerned about me learning to box."

"I'm not. It's not about boxing. It's about you needing a target."

Tony stiffened and replied defensively, "This really isn't necessary. I'm fine."

Gibbs angrily got into the younger man's face. "You're _fine? _You wanna explain to me then why Kate and I almost had to get between you and Agent McGee yesterday? You think acting like a five-year-old on the playground is gonna convince me to recognize you as the Senior Field Agent?"

Knowing he had no ground to stand on in the argument, Tony took the gloves and put them on. "What do you want me to do?"

"Whatever you want. Just do it to the bag and stop taking it out on your teammates."

Feeling slightly foolish, Tony started landing halfhearted blows on the bag. Gibbs could clearly see it wasn't accomplishing the goal. "That all you got, DiNozzo? You hit like a girl. Agent McGee could do better than that." Then he pushed the button he knew would get a response, and hoped Tony would eventually understand his intent. "No wonder Cassidy wasn't impressed."

Tony drew in a sharp breath, white-hot anger burning his eyes. Gibbs used his own eyes to issue the challenge by glancing towards the bag. _Get it out, Tony._

Energized by his rage, DiNozzo landed blow after stinging blow as the minutes passed. At one point, he began alternating the punches with kicks. _Stupid, DiNozzo. She was just playing a game with you and you let her. It's the same game you play and you didn't even know it. Couldn't even have the decency to do it in person. Email. Who does that? Humiliating me. And the whole team knows . And they're all attached to someone. Even the Probie has somebody. I'm the only loser. I don't want their pity…_

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he failed to notice the fatigue that was slowly overtaking his muscles. Pushing past the pain, the blows continued to rain down even harder on the helpless bag until Gibbs decided it was time to step in. "Ok, that's enough, DiNozzo."

The younger man didn't even hear him. Cautiously stepping closer, he tried his agent's first name. "Tony." No reaction. "_Tony! _I said that's enough. Stand down!" Suddenly questioning whether or not this had been the best of ideas, Gibbs realized he may have to physically step in.

Coming up behind Tony and ensuring that he could physically restrain his agent without being struck himself, he quickly and somewhat roughly wrapped both his arms around the other man and pulled him away from the bag. Not letting up on the firm grip he had on the other man, Gibbs once again said, this time in the younger man's ear, "That's enough, Tony."

This time he heard and stopped struggling. Dismayed that his boss had been forced to physically restrain him, suddenly panting for air, and feeling his overspent muscles give out on him, he relaxed and sank to the floor in a sitting position.

Gibbs finally felt comfortable with letting go this time, and decided to take up a seat on the floor next to Tony. "Told you you were angry, DiNozzo," he said with a satisfied grin.

Seeing that the other man hadn't yet looked at him, but was instead focused intently on the ground in front of him, Gibbs added, "Nothing wrong with being angry. Just have to know what to do with it."

"I screwed up," Tony mumbled.

"You took a chance. Sometimes you have to. Sometimes it bites you in the butt. Learn from it and move on."

"I'm trying."

"By meeting big middle-aged guys with tattoos on the internet? Hotjugs24?"

Tony sighed. Kate had brought that up yesterday and Gibbs had practically interrogated him about it. And of course McGee, in a somewhat brilliant act of retribution, had tracked down his internet friend and found that heavily tattooed, thuggish-looking man behind the moniker. "Boss, I wasn't really trying to meet a woman. I was bored, I wandered into an internet chat room for entertainment and started talking to this…_person…._and when she…._he_…said he wanted to meet me I got out real quick. Believe me, I do know better. I was just kidding around with Kate about it. I didn't think she'd tell everybody."

Gibbs worked hard to hide it, but was greatly relieved. At least Tony hadn't gone completely off the deep end. "I believe you, DiNozzo." He stood up and offered his hand. "C'mon. Time to go home. Eat something. Get some rest."

Tony was too exhausted not to take the helping hand. Gibbs hovered for just a minute to make sure his agent was steady on his feet, then wordlessly clapped him on the back. As the younger man headed towards the showers, feeling his boss' eyes following carefully, he assured, "I'm fine, Boss. Go home."

_At least DiNozzo's mind reading skills are still intact. _"See you bright and early in the morning, DiNozzo. Hope you got a new alarm clock."

Realizing tomorrow was Monday all over again, Tony groaned.

On the way to his car, his cell phone rang. He had a brief thought that maybe Paula had changed her mind. _No, Tony, Gibbs is right. Have to let it go._

Of course, that would be easier to do if he had another beautiful woman around to help him forget. As luck would have it, the name on his caller ID was that of a beautiful woman.

_Lt. Pam Kim._


	10. Chapter 10 - Doubt, Part I

**Episode prequel, filler and tag for "Chained." Part one.**

**This portion is mostly pre-episode and filler, setting up the next part – or parts. There is a distinct possibility that this could end up being a three-parter.**

**Also, I'm taking lots of creative license here. I have no idea what the actual procedures would be in the aftermath of a case like this. **

"**Doubt – Part I"**

"So, Jeffrey White is in custody on a traffic violation but Lane Danielson probably has possession of the Iraqi antiquities. And Jeffrey White isn't talking, so we need to find Lane Danielson in the next 24-48 hours, or statistically speaking, the chances of us recovering the antiquities are…"

"Thanks _so _very much for the recap, Probie, but we already knew all that, so unless you have a brilliant idea about _how _to find Lane Danielson, I suggest you shut your trap," Tony vented impatiently.

"Well I don't hear _you _coming up with anything, smart-"

"_Hey! Enough!" _

The two-word command from their boss was very effective at quieting the bullpen. Kate opened her desk drawer and pulled out some more aspirin for the headache that she felt stubbornly returning.

The MCRT had gotten the case that morning, but by 4:30pm they were no closer to tracking down the stolen goods than they'd been first thing that morning, and now their nerves were shot and their patience had run out.

"I don't know why anyone expected White to talk. I mean, why wouldn't he take his chances on us not having enough evidence against him. Danielson could sell the goods while White buys them time, we eventually have to let White go on a lack of evidence, and they both stand to make a fortune," Kate sighed.

Suddenly Tony's face brightened and his posture straightened.

"Care to share, DiNozzo?" Gibbs had been secretly hoping for his most experienced agent to have a breakthrough. Their usual methods were getting them nowhere, but when unusual methods were called for, there was no one better than Tony. Sometimes you just had to give him a little time to think.

"If Jeffrey White were to be released right now, what do you think is the first thing he'd do?"

"Find Lane Danielson, sell the goods, and leave the country as soon as possible. But there's no way he's gonna be released, Tony."

"Ok, Kate. What if he _escapes?"_

"From what we've learned about Jeffrey White, I'm pretty sure he's not smart enough to escape. Or bold enough. He fits the profile of a follower. Danielson is most likely the one in charge."

But Gibbs was smiling and Tony looked over to meet his eyes wearing an almost identical expression. McGee was utterly confused and Kate had that old familiar feeling that her boss and her partner were having one of those silent conversations with each other that really annoyed her.

"But what if another prisoner _helps _him escape? And gains White's trust, and in return is led straight to Lane Danielson and the stolen antiquities?"

Now McGee was more confused than ever, while Kate was simply stunned. "DiNozzo, that may be the most insane idea you've ever had. Gibbs, tell him it's insane."

"Yep. Just insane enough to work. Get with Abby."

At this, Tony leapt up from his chair, pumped his fist, and excitedly exclaimed, "Yes!" before practically running towards the elevator to take him to the forensic scientist's lab.

Finally finding his speech again, McGee asked, "Wait, why's he going to see Abby?"

"Because _he's _the other prisoner, McGee," Kate explained patiently. "Gibbs will want a way to track him while he's with Jeffrey White. And he needs to come up with an identity and a backstory."

It was becoming clearer, but still the junior agent observed, "He seems awfully excited about going undercover with a criminal. Isn't that kind of dangerous?"

Gibbs had wholeheartedly agreed with the idea, but now his traitorous memory was reminding him of the last time Tony'd had a great idea about trailing a suspect. Gibbs had agreed to send him alone and the other man had ended up being drugged and abducted. Fighting back the anxiety that had grabbed hold of him, Gibbs quickly answered McGee's question. "Kate and I'll be tracking him the whole time. And DiNozzo knows how to handle himself."

Kate smiled affectionately as she remembered the look on Tony's face a few minutes earlier. "Tony just _loves _going undercover. I swear his whole life is a movie."

Gibbs, too, allowed himself a slight, fond smile, but found himself silently hoping this assignment would be a whole lot less eventful than one of DiNozzo's movies.

* * *

"So, where are we going to place the GPS tracker?" Abby was almost as excited about this assignment as Tony, mostly because tracking Tony would involve her active participation in the case. She was used to being on the outside looking in, but this made her feel like she was actually a part of the MCRT team.

"I don't care, as long as it's somewhere White won't see it." Tony was much more interested in developing his backstory. So far, he'd made himself a pilot who'd been wrongly accused of drug smuggling, but he was still working through the details in his mind.

With a devious look, Abby suggested, "Transdermal implantation!"

Tony looked at her strangely. "Trans _what? _That sounds like a sci-fi movie."

"Transdermal implantation! We can have the GPS tracker injected underneath your skin! Jeffrey White would never know it was there!"

"Abs, that's a little extreme. I just need to be tracked for a few hours, not the rest of my life. Think of something a little simpler, ok?"

Deflated, the young woman in front of him sighed at the prospect of coming up with something really normal. And _dull._ Then she had another idea. "You could swallow it…"

"Abby…."

"Put it in your underwear?"

Now he was glaring.

"Oooh, Tony. You've been spending way too much time around Gibbs. You're getting really good at that."

Changing his expression to one of interest, he asked, "Really? Cause I've been practicing…"

Abby cut him off with, "I've got it! A suppository."

Horrified, Tony unconsciously took a step away from the forensic scientist. "How about I just go without a tracker and Gibbs and Kate can just follow Gibbs' gut?"

"Not an option, DiNozzo," Gibbs said as he strolled into the lab. "What've we got?"

Tony's eyes brightened and he said excitedly, "I'm a pilot! I was flying this couple from one of the Caribbean islands to DC but I didn't know they were smuggling in cocaine. I was falsely accused and facing 25 to life for drug smuggling." Trying to appear victimized, he added, "The system really sucks, Boss."

"Sometimes it does. And how are we gonna track you?" This was the part that concerned the older man the most, though he did his best to show complete confidence in front of Tony.

Abby interjected. "I acquired a GPS tracker, but we're trying to decide where to put it."

"In my shoe," Tony offered.

Sighing, Abby gave in. "Fine. Shoe it is. But it's very unimaginative."

Something was still bothering Gibbs. "And what's your plan B?"

Tony frowned. "Plan B? Why?"

"I'm not relying on a tiny GP-thingy in your _shoe_ to keep track of you. Lots of things can go wrong undercover. We need a backup plan to know where you are if something happens."

"You think something's gonna happen, Boss?" Tony said with slight concern.

"No," Gibbs replied with a certainty he didn't feel. "Just being prepared. How about we have a trailer and a vehicle in the woods set up? You lead White to it and pretend you found it by accident. And we can make sure the vehicle's Lo-Jacked."

"Not bad, Gibbs," Abby offered teasingly. "I see why they pay you the big bucks!"

Gibbs gave her the _Yeah, right _face, while Tony asked, "Is everything else all set?"

"Got a transport bus along with a driver and a Federal Marshal. Both have been filled in. Working on getting you a prison uniform."

Tony was excited again. "That's so cool, Boss! Do you think I have time to grow some stubble? Cause I always wanted to do the 5 o'clock shadow 'tough guy' look," he dreamt, rubbing his chin.

"Whatever, Tony. Just be ready to be back here at 4:00am. Transport's supposed to be picking up White early in the morning for his arraignment."

"Wow, that's early."

"Get some sleep. Tomorrow's gonna be a long day."

As he followed Tony out of the lab, the older man tried once again to ignore the ever-increasing anxiety that had begun to well up. He planned to spend the evening studying everything they'd found so far about Jeffrey White's history.

He wasn't about to have Tony chained to a suspect for hours without knowing every detail there was to know about said suspect first.

* * *

Tony sort of stumbled into the bullpen at 3:59am, sporting the promised 5 o'clock shadow and wearing his hair slicked back. He also had the look of someone who'd been awake for a few days instead of a few hours. He was going to make a convincing prisoner.

"Morning, Boss," the younger man grumbled.

Gibbs handed him a cup of coffee. Hazelnut, just the way he knew the younger man liked it. This got a reaction, however slight. "Thanks."

"Got your jumpsuit," Gibbs said, handing it over. "Need you to finish your coffee and get changed in a hurry. Transport bus is waiting outside along with the driver and the Marshal."

"Got it." Tony's face was wearing just a bit less of the giddy excitement from the previous day, replaced by a look of nervous anticipation, compelling Gibbs to offer words of assurance to his agent.

"Kate and I'll be following at a close distance at all times. We sense anything hinky, we'll be ready to step in."

"I know, Boss."

The amount of faith the younger man showed in him, at least in the field, at times left him feeling unworthy. "Don't let your guard down. Don't ever forget White is a criminal."

"At least he's not a murderer. From his background, he seems more like a guy who fell in with the wrong people and let himself be drawn in. Did you read the part about the abuse? I sort of feel sorry for the guy."

"That's exactly what I mean, Tony. That's what we _think _we know about him. But don't assume anything, you got that, DiNozzo?" Gibbs barked out forcefully.

Startled, Tony responded, "Got it. I've been undercover in the mafia. I think I can handle Jeffrey White."

"You just make sure you treat Jeffrey White with the same caution you treated the mafia." Gibbs had gone over and over what they knew about the man and nothing stood out. But there was something in the photograph that bothered him. There was something cold in Jeffrey White's eyes that didn't fit their profile of him, and it had set off every one of Gibbs' protective instincts. But there was a job to do, and he allowed his Marine training to take over, at least keeping his fears under control, though not quenching them very effectively.

"Look at you, DiNozzo. I have to compliment you. You wear 'sleazy convict' very well," Kate teased, as she walked in holding her coffee and ready for a long day of surveillance.

"Admit it, Kate, you think it's pretty hot." All traces of seriousness were now gone, replaced by the lighthearted flirtation Tony enjoyed so much.

"You mean in a Hannibal Lecter kind of way?"

"Nice movie reference, Kate. Did you see _Hannibal _or _Red Dragon?"_

Gibbs hated to interrupt their fun, but it was getting late. "Time to get ready, DiNozzo."

Grinning, Tony simply said, "Curtain time."

* * *

Tony DiNozzo could probably count on one hand the number of times in his adult life that he'd been truly afraid. He'd been anxious, of course. Worried. Nervous. But pure, abject fear – that had been a rarity for him.

As he lay awake in Lane Danielson's hunting cabin in the middle of the woods knowing that all his tracking devices had been disabled and his teammates had no way of knowing where he was, abject fear was definitely threatening to move in.

Jeffrey White didn't worry him. Or at least didn't make him fear for his _own_ safety. Honestly, he was feeling fearful as much for the other man's wellbeing as for his own. As Danielson had pointed out, White was "easily manipulated." And after meeting Danielson, Tony could see who was doing the manipulating. White's accomplice gave off the vibe of someone completely in charge and not to be messed with. And he didn't like Tony - that much had been obvious. Tony had just stopped shaking. The way Lane Danielson had snuck up behind him and caught him by surprise had really shaken him up, and at that moment Tony had been certain he wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.

He had no weapon on him or even near him, not even a knife. And Danielson had a gun which he'd gotten a pretty good look at. Tony lay in bed thinking of all of his options were the other man to decide he was a liability that needed to be eliminated.

He was praying Gibbs would find the gas station and the set of keys to the ill-fated GMC and trace the pay phone. As the hours went by, it was seeming less likely, though, that his boss was going to come riding in on his white horse and save the day. If he was getting out of this, there was a good probability he was going to have to do it himself.

_I've gotten way too dependent on Gibbs._ He'd come to rely on the other man to always have his six so much that now that he was on his own again, it occurred to him that he wasn't certain he trusted his own instincts any longer. And to think that there had once been a time that he hadn't trusted anyone _other _than himself.

_Think, DiNozzo. _Lane Danielson had a cell phone. If he could just find a way to get to it, even for just a minute, he could call Gibbs. Of course, that plan still involved his boss swooping in to save him. But the other man had saved him from seemingly impossible situations before. He knew if he could just give the other man a clue as to where he was, Gibbs would take care of the rest and everything would work out.

As quietly as possible, Tony rolled out of bed and tiptoed over to the door, easing it open by just an inch, very slowly. Just enough to catch part of a conversation in the other room.

"What were you thinking, bringing that guy here? How do you know he's not a cop?" _Danielson._

"Tony's been really good to me. We can trust him, Lane. And he can fly us out of the country. He's our way out!"

"He might just be our way to prison. It's too risky. We have to find a way to ditch him."

The NCIS agent's heart began to race. Looking around in a slight panic, he thought about finding a way to sneak out. But then they would _know _they couldn't trust him. He couldn't risk taking one of the vehicles and alerting the two men with the noise. And on foot, with no idea how far away his backup might be, he was far too vulnerable. His best hope was to stay put and hope he could come up with an Oscar-worthy performance that would convince both men that he really was just a shady pilot who wanted to make a quick fortune.

Crawling back into bed to face the rest of a sleepless night, he was completely ignorant of the turn of events transpiring in the other room.

Unbeknownst to him, he'd just heard Lane Danielson utter his last words.

* * *

Gibbs was at least slightly relieved to hear the soft snoring coming from the passenger seat, indicating that Kate had finally been able to drift into sleep, however restless it may prove to be. They were parked alongside a dark, two-lane country road, prepared to take off quickly should any word reach them as to Tony's whereabouts. He had Abby searching for all gas stations and pay phones in the area. If he had to, he'd hit them all one-by-one, although he hoped a more efficient solution would present itself.

The Lead Agent was well beyond worried and edging dangerously close to panic, despite his earlier protests to the contrary. But worry wasn't what his agent most needed from him right now. Or from Kate, which was why he was glad she was getting some shut-eye.

_How could she have even questioned whether or not I was worried for Tony? _He'd been concerned for the younger man's safety since the moment he'd sent him off on the transport bus early that morning. And now that he had nothing but time on his hands to process all of the events of the day, the guilt was building on top of the worry. Losing the use of _one _of their tracking devices could maybe be considered a freak accident. Losing both could not possibly be a coincidence. And if it wasn't a coincidence, then Jeffrey White was much smarter than any of them had given him credit for. And far more devious.

Then there was Lane Danielson, who he now knew to be Billy Collins. Guilty of at least three murders. Three gruesome murders. Three victims taken by surprise, defenseless, unsuspecting. Throats slashed from behind. And there was a very good chance that Jeffrey White was delivering Tony to his partner at that very moment, if they had not already made contact. It was enough to make his blood run cold.

He should have listened to his instincts about White. He should have had a plan C _and _a plan D for keeping track of Tony. He should have driven faster. He should have stepped in when he realized the GPS tracking device in Tony's shoe was no longer operational.

The longer he sat there, the more ways he came up with in which he'd let Tony down. Helplessness was not a feeling Gibbs dealt with well. He was a man of action. Picking up his phone he dialed Abby.

"Abs, I need locations on those pay phones _now!"_

_Tony doesn't have any time to lose._

* * *

The scene was eerily still and quiet when Gibbs and Kate arrived. They saw two vehicles parked. The occupant of one vehicle was emerging – an Asian man, certain to be their buyer. Kate immediately made her way over to arrest him, allowing herself only a brief, anxious glance in the direction of the other car. Whatever the situation there, it would be up to Gibbs to handle it.

His pulse was pounding in his ears as he approached the car. At first glance, there appeared to be only one occupant in the vehicle, seated in the driver's seat. Unmoving. _Could White have figured out Tony was a cop and taken off before we got here? _He wasn't certain he could handle finding Tony's body in that car, but there was no one else. He certainly wasn't going to delegate such a gruesome task to Kate.

He could feel the bile rising in his throat when he saw the blood spatter on the window. Until he realized that a throat-slashing would not result in that kind of spatter. With his hopes rising ever-so-slightly, he finally made it to the driver's side door. Steeling himself, he flung it open.

At first he wondered if Tony really was dead. He'd never seen the younger man that still before. Finally, to his great relief, a pair of green eyes rose to meet his own. _Tony's alive…_

He allowed himself just a moment of internal rejoicing. In reality, his stance and his expression hadn't changed very much, but in his head he was whooping for joy. He could even imagine himself pulling Tony out of the car and embracing him. And then shaking him violently and asking the younger man what he was _thinking _scaring him like that, and admonishing him to never, _ever _come up with a crazy idea like this again. _Wouldn't Kate have a field day?_

But after his moment of selfishness, his attention turned to Tony. Something wasn't quite right in the green eyes that were staring back at him. The usual glimmer of liveliness and mischief was missing. In fact, they could almost be described as dull. Inexpressive. Unfeeling. He was staring at something in his hands almost as if he was wondering where it came from and how it got there. _A gun. Tony wasn't armed. He had to have gotten a gun from either White or Danielson. But how did he manage to get it? _Of course, it really didn't matter to him _how. _The important thing was that the younger man had been resourceful enough to find a way of defending himself.

Sparing a glance towards the back seat, he identified Jeffrey White. Clearly dead. Single gunshot wound, which accounted for all the blood on the window. Eyes staring out at nothing. He looked back at Tony wondering what to say to the younger man when Tony broke the silence. "I really liked him."

It seemed an absurd statement. White was a cold-blooded serial killer. Was Tony trying to make a joke? Lighten the mood? His agent was known for trying to make humor in some of the most uncomfortable of situations. Testing the waters, Gibbs responded with, "Yeah. Yeah, I can see that." Once again it was the wrong thing to say.

Tony's eyes went even colder and he went back to staring at his hands. _It wasn't a joke. Tony bonded with this guy somehow. Or _thought _he'd bonded with him. And then he had to kill him. Up close and personal. _Gibbs was in way over his head here.

He may not have known how to handle Tony's current emotional state, but he did know he had to take charge of the crime scene. An ambulance had been called, just in case, and Ducky was on his way as well. Agent Balboa and his team were also on their way for backup. They would all arrive at any moment.

Opening the door wider, he gently commanded, "Tony, are you injured? Can you get out of the car?"

Tony met his eyes once more without emotion. At first he thought the other man hadn't even registered the question, but very slowly his agent emerged from the car, gun still in his hands. Gibbs put on a pair of gloves and held his hand out for the weapon. Tony handed it over without protest and without argument. At that moment, Gibbs caught a glimpse of Tony's neck and sucked in a silent breath.

There was blood running from a cut on the left side of the younger man's neck. Tony didn't even seem to realize it was there.

Just then, the wail of a siren could be heard approaching. Gibbs directed, "Stay right here, Tony. I'm going to wave them over." He quickly walked over to the road in order to direct the emergency vehicles to their location.

As the EMTs were quickly disembarking, Gibbs explained the situation to them. The older man, accompanied by an EMT, walked back over to where he'd left Tony, who hadn't moved an inch from where he'd been when Gibbs had left him.

"Sir? I'm going to take you over to the ambulance to have a seat while we take a look at that cut, ok?"

Tony looked confused. "Cut?"

"On your neck, sir."

The younger man's reflexive response was to reach up to his neck to try to find the source. His fingers made contact with the blood and Tony found himself staring in surprise at his fingers. The only verbal response he offered was, "Oh."

He silently followed the EMT over to the back of the ambulance and sat down. As Gibbs followed them, he noticed the MCRT vehicle containing Ducky and Jimmy was pulling in, along with a car containing Agent Balboa and Agent Simpson.

"It looks like a shallow cut. Won't even need stitches. I'm just going to put some antibiotic ointment on it and a bandage and you'll be good to go." The EMT paused a moment and added, "You were incredibly lucky, sir. I'm guessing that other guy was trying to slash your throat?"

Tony's only response was to nod slightly. Gibbs, on the other hand, finally vocalized what he'd been thinking since the first moment he'd noticed the blood. "Cutting things a little close don't you think, DiNozzo?"

There was finally emotion in those green eyes – a cold, steely fury. "You weren't there."

The words cut Gibbs like a knife. _"You weren't there"_ took on a life of its own in his head. _Where were you when I needed you? Why didn't you find the pay phone sooner and figure out where the cabin was before anybody else had to die? Why did it take you so long to figure out I was the one who was calling you? Why didn't you get to me before I had to kill Jeffrey White myself?_

_Why did you let me do this?_

Gibbs could no longer meet Tony's eyes, but was saved from further recrimination when Kate walked over to where they were. "Tony, thank God you're alright." Then there was a moment of silence when she saw the cut on his neck and gasped aloud, realizing what must've happened. However, Tony's expression made it clear that the topic was off-limits to discussion.

She turned to Gibbs. "Balboa and Simpson are escorting the suspect back to headquarters. Simpson's just finishing up processing the scene."

Gibbs nodded curtly and then realized he needed to make a phone call. "I'll be right back. I need to update the Director." As he was walking away, he noticed Ducky and Jimmy were removing Jeffrey White's body from the vehicle. He instinctively glanced back at Tony and immediately felt his gut clench at the way Tony was watching the scene.

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to turn away and dial the Director's number.

"Tom Morrow."

"Sir, this is Agent Gibbs. We've recovered the stolen goods and arrested the buyer. Jeffrey White is dead. Agent DiNozzo was forced to shoot him in self defense. DiNozzo's fine." _Liar, _his conscience practically screamed.

"I'm glad to hear Agent DiNozzo is unharmed. It's unfortunate that both suspects are dead."

"We still have the buyer, sir."

"True. I'm assuming you heard about the complaint filed by the Deputy Secretary of State?"

Gibbs sighed. He'd almost forgotten all about that, hoping it would prove to be a non-issue. "Yes, Director. But that was not Agent McGee's fault. I instructed him to tell her off."

Tom Morrow smiled. He'd already guessed as much, knowing Agent Gibbs as he did. And he didn't blame the man, really. But it had placed them in an awkward position. "I'm not placing any blame here, Agent Gibbs. But the complaint has gotten SecNav's attention regarding our handling of this case. We need to cover all our bases and handle everything strictly by the book. I want Agent DiNozzo fully debriefed immediately, and I'd like to be present."

The added stress was about the last thing Tony needed right now. "Can't it wait, sir? Tony's been undercover with this guy for 24 hours in the woods. I'm sure he'd like to take a shower and maybe get some sleep first."

"I understand your position, Jethro," the Director responded in a more personal tone. "I feel for Agent DiNozzo, but we need to get every single detail while the information is still fresh. Once we debrief him, he is free to take as much time as he needs. After we satisfy the SecNav."

Gibbs realized pushing the issue was pointless. "I understand, sir. We're heading back now."

As he hung up the phone, the older man took one last look at Tony.

Obviously, DiNozzo wanted nothing more than to forget the events of the past 24 hours. Instead, Gibbs now had to inform him that he'd be spending the rest of his day reliving them. In front of the Director.


	11. Chapter 11 - Doubt, Part II

**Continuation of episode tag for "Chained."**

**As I suspected, this will be at least a 3-parter, and depending on how long the last installment ends up being, possibly even 4 parts by the time it's finished.**

"**Doubt – Part II"**

Abby was leaning on the edge of McGee's desk in anticipation when she caught sight of Gibbs, Kate, and a slightly-worse-for-wear Tony exiting the elevator. She immediately launched herself from her position, pigtails swinging furiously, and threw herself into a startled DiNozzo.

"To-Neee! Oh my gosh, are you okay? You have no idea how worried we were about you, mister!"

The object of her affection began to recover from the sudden shock and gingerly wrapped his arms around the forensic scientist, patting her back gently. "Hey, Abs," he greeted just above a whisper. "It's good to see you, too."

McGee, too, was standing in front of his newly-arrived teammate looking almost as awkward as he felt. He was thrilled to see Tony alive and well, but far less certain how to outwardly handle the other man's arrival than Abby had been. "Hi, Tony. I'm glad you're uh…_here_ and…." _Alive. _But he stopped himself from actually saying the last part. DiNozzo might not appreciate thinking perhaps his teammates had doubted it.

Abby had finally detached herself from him and Tony nodded slightly at the younger man, offering with sincerity, "Thanks, Probie."

McGee smiled, finally relaxing just a bit, before noticing the bandage on Tony's neck and resuming a puzzled expression. He was just about to form the question when Kate caught his eye and subtly shook her head. _Don't ask him about it._ He began to put together the pieces in his head silently. They had originally thought that Lane Danielson was responsible for the three throat-slashings in the Seattle area, but once Lane's body had been found, murdered in the same fashion, they had all realized Jeffrey White was the cold-blooded murderer. And Tony had been with White for hours. And if Tony had a bandage on his neck that probably meant that….McGee shuddered slightly. And if he turned a few shades paler, his coworkers politely pretended not to notice.

"Director's expecting us, DiNozzo. You ready?" Gibbs asked with just a hint of concern showing.

Tony simply nodded gravely. The two men ascended the stairs on the way to Director Morrow's office as their teammates watched curiously. Finally, McGee looked over at Kate and broke his silence as a flood of questions assaulted his mind.

"Why are they going to see the Director?"

Kate shook her head slightly, still in disbelief over the turn of events. "The complaint from the Deputy Secretary of State about how we handled the case. It apparently got SecNav's attention so the Director's covering all his bases. He wants to debrief Tony himself."

McGee closed his eyes. "I feel terrible."

"Why, McGee? You didn't do anything wrong. You just did what Gibbs told you to."

"But I was totally in over my head and she could tell. If I hadn't seemed so…._incompetent_…maybe she wouldn't have been so bent-out-of-shape. Tony's not in trouble, is he?"

"Don't worry about it, McGee. Tony didn't do anything wrong either. Things happen. I don't think anyone's in any trouble."

"What about Gibbs?" Abby had been silently processing the information up to this point but she, too, looked worried.

"Gibbs couldn't have known. Jeffrey White had everyone fooled. I think Gibbs'll be just fine, too, Abby."

"Kate?" McGee asked reluctantly. "What happened to Tony's neck?"

"Jeffrey White's knife," his teammate answered seriously. "Right before Tony shot him," she felt compelled to add.

Seeing the two horrified faces in front of her, Agent Todd continued. "That psycho's dead and Tony's back here where he belongs. And right now, that's all that really matters, ok?"

But all three of them knew it was far more complicated than that.

* * *

"Can I get you something to drink, Agent DiNozzo?" Director Morrow offered. He was still making an effort to mask his surprise at the agent's altered appearance. Between the hair, the clothes, and the slight growth on his face, Tony looked quite a bit different from how the older man was used to seeing him. And then, coupled with the bloodshot, tired eyes that seemed to be holding just a glimmer of danger behind them, the young man in front of him gave off every indication of actually being the hardened convict he'd been portraying for the past day-and-a-half.

"No, thank you, sir," Tony answered politely. Ignoring the verbal response, Gibbs got up and poured a glass of water, setting it in front of his agent, who managed to look slightly annoyed. Morrow watched the exchange with interest.

The Director took his seat across the table from Tony, while Gibbs sat in the end chair, Morrow on one side and DiNozzo on the other. Then Agent Gibbs deliberately scooted his chair just slightly in the direction of his agent and Tom Morrow could have sworn the Lead Agent shot a protective warning glare in his direction. Trying to diffuse the tension in the air, the Director began with, "This is not an interrogation. I'm not here to place blame or to punish anyone. This is simply a fact-finding exercise. I need every detail you can recall, Agent DiNozzo. I know how the events transpired up to the point where you and White escaped the transport bus. Why don't you pick up there in your own words and tell us what happened next. If I have any questions, I'll interject."

Tony swallowed and began his story in a flat, emotionless voice as if he were reading an article out of the newspaper and recalling events that had happened to complete strangers. "We escaped the bus and we ran through the woods, chained together. At one point, Jeff- the _suspect-_stopped and sat down complaining that he couldn't keep going. I had made a show of trying to break the chain with a rock but was unsuccessful."

Tony had stopped a moment to collect his thoughts, so Morrow prompted, "And how did you get him to start moving again?"

"I compared him to Tony Curtis."

The Director looked befuddled, waiting for the younger man to continue, but Tony seemed suddenly lost in his thoughts so his boss intervened. "He made a movie reference, sir. 'The Defiant Ones,' right DiNozzo?" he inquired, trying to get Tony back on track. It worked.

"Oh, right. It's about these two escaped convicts chained together." Seeing the Director wasn't quite on board yet, Tony continued quickly. "Anyway, I guess you'd say I gave him a pep talk and made him feel like a tough guy. Even though he was anything but."

"So he got up and you started running again?"

"Yeah, for a while. I led him right to the trailer. Acted all surprised about it. That's when he tripped and we tumbled down the hill into the stream. I knew the tracking device was shot. I was pretty ticked at him."

"How did he explain it?"

"At the time, you mean? Well, he was a pretty clumsy guy. And he freaked out about the water. When I started yelling at him, he told me he had a phobia about it. I felt sorry for him…" Tony had gone from appearing detached to angry, a change noticed by both his boss and the Director. "Of course, later on he told me he couldn't wait to go scuba diving. Guess that should've clued me in, huh?"

"He had us all fooled, DiNozzo," Gibbs said quietly.

"So that explains how you lost the GPS tracker, but what about the truck?" Morrow asked, trying to steer the conversation back on course.

"Ah, the truck." Tony smiled bitterly. "Well that went exactly according to plan in the beginning. We got over to the trailer, changed out of the jumpsuits into some really cheesy clothes. I tried to convince J—" Tony looked annoyed with himself and was for some reason avoiding the use of the other man's given name. "The suspect – that he could be quite the ladies' man with just a little work. I gleefully 'found' the keys to the GMC and we took off. Then I casually mentioned that I could fly us out of the country if we could get to Florida, but that we couldn't stay in the truck cause it was probably Lo-Jacked. Stupid." Tony paused and took a deep breath. "Anyway, I got him to mention he had a friend in the area. Finally. So I got Abby on the On Star and asked him for the number. Conveniently, there was a motorcycle in front of us and he acted like he was all freaked out we were gonna hit it. So he grabbed the wheel and next thing you know we were hugging a tree. And my ability to be tracked was gone, just like that," Tony stated ruefully, snapping his fingers for emphasis.

"A good Samaritan stopped to help and Tony told him they'd lost their dog named Kate. While the guy was looking for it, Tony and White took off on the guy's bike. That's how Tony managed to let us know what happened to him." Gibbs told the Director that portion of the story with pride. "Unfortunately, Kate and I weren't able to catch up to the bike in time and we lost them."

Morrow was nodding. "So how did you get to the hunting cabin?"

"I knew we needed to find a pay phone so White could call his accomplice. Plus the bike was low on gas. We stopped at a gas station and used the phone. I stuck the keys to the GMC in the coin return hoping Gibbs would find them and trace the calls from the phone. And find the cabin that way."

"Is that how you found the cabin, Agent Gibbs?"

The Lead Agent looked down at the table and responded with chagrin, "Yes. The next day." The aura of guilt surrounding the other man was not lost on the Director.

"What happened after you got to the cabin?" Morrow asked, turning his focus back to Tony.

"Let's just say I slept with one eye open."

"Danielson didn't want you there I assume?"

"You assume correctly. He and Jeffrey" Tony winced at the accidental use of the name but continued, "argued. Danielson wanted me gone. I caught a piece of their conversation from the bedroom. I thought Lane Danielson was gonna show up to finish me off any minute. But he never came. Guess I know why."

"Kate and I found the body at the cabin. Throat slashed. Bike was covered with a blanket so Tony wouldn't see it and he'd think Danielson just took off." Morrow noted that Gibbs was even starting to look a little pale.

"He told me Lane already went to meet the buyer and he needed a partner. Wanted to get there first. I happened to notice a cell phone on the table and when Jeffrey wasn't looking, I snuck it into my pocket. Except for a second there I thought he might've seen me do it."

"I started getting hang-up calls from an unknown number," Gibbs interjected. Then looking directly at his agent apologetically, he explained, "I was getting wrong number calls the day before about selling a car. I just assumed…." The Lead Agent sighed in frustration.

"And then what happened, Agent DiNozzo?"

"Jeffrey pulled over to rest and I was confused cause I thought we were trying to get there before Lane Danielson. So I offered to drive and Jeffrey got in the back seat to…" Tony got an odd look on his face. "Well, I _though_t it was to take a nap."

Gibbs' face visibly darkened.

"You think he was planning to kill you even then." It was meant as a question, but Morrow found himself phrasing it as a simple statement of fact.

"He was ready. Had the knife out already. I think he planned to do it when we got there."

"But why did he wait? Why not at the cabin?"

Tony sat in troubled silence for a moment before answering, "I honestly don't know, sir." _Maybe he wanted to believe me. Like I wanted to believe him._

"When did you know?"

Tony took a deep breath and reached for the glass of water, taking a few small gulps. Both men noticed his hands had begun trembling. "When we got there I told him I was a cop and offered him a deal. That's when he told me how he tripped us and crashed the truck on purpose. Cause he suspected it all along. I figured out Lane was dead. I felt him pull my head back." Tony's hand instinctively shot up towards his neck, fingers feeling of the bandage that was now there. "I didn't even feel the cut. I'd shot him before I even realized…"

Pulling the younger man out of his daze, Gibbs asked, "Tony, how did you get the gun?"

"It was Lane's. He'd had it the night before. I saw it. When we pulled up to meet the buyer, Jeffrey handed it to me."

Both Gibbs and Morrow looked dumbfounded. Gibbs exclaimed, "He _gave _you the gun?"

Tony, too, suddenly looked confused. "Yeah. I don't understand it. I don't understand any of it."

"And that's when you and Agent Todd, arrived, Agent Gibbs?"

Gibbs nodded in the affirmative, his eyes never leaving the face of his shaken agent.

"Thank you, Agent DiNozzo. That'll be all for today. Go home and get some rest. It's been a long couple of days." Turning to Gibbs, Morrow instructed, "Agent Gibbs, I need you for a few more minutes."

As Tony stood up to leave, Gibbs wanted to protest. He wasn't ready for the younger man to leave without having a few moments with him in private, but he didn't want to embarrass Tony and add to his mental distress. And the Director left no room for questions.

When the door closed, Gibbs spoke immediately. "Tony handled himself perfectly, sir. He didn't do anything wrong. I should've had a better plan in place."

Taking a more relaxed posture, the Director assured him, "Jethro, I meant it when I said I wasn't trying to place any blame. I don't see any cause for disciplinary action here and I feel confident I can make that case to the SecNav as well. I do see it as a valuable learning tool going forward, though. I'll be more closely evaluating any future proposed undercover assignments."

Relieved, Gibbs too took on a more relaxed posture. "I'm glad you see things that way, sir. But why did you need to see me?"

Tom Morrow took a deep breath and exhaled. He knew the other man wasn't going to like what he had to say. "I'm somewhat concerned about Agent DiNozzo's mental state. From what I know about him, it was obvious he wasn't himself here today."

Gibbs snorted before he remembered who he was talking to. "With all due respect, sir, you could hardly expect him to be himself. He just about had his throat slashed today. Give him some time to recover."

"I plan on doing just that. I'm putting DiNozzo on desk duty until he passes a psych evaluation."

Gibbs' eyes widened. With some effort, he managed not to completely blow a gasket in front of his boss, but it was a struggle. "You want him to see a _shrink?_"

"I think they prefer not to be called that. And, yes, I do. It couldn't hurt. And I have a responsibility, not just to that young man, but to the rest of his team to not send him back out in the field with any lingering questions regarding his ability to handle the stress. And right now, after what I just saw, I have questions. It's not punitive, Jethro. I have his best interests in mind."

"His or the agency's, sir?" Gibbs practically spat out.

"I think you know me better than that. I know you don't place much faith in the field of psychiatry, but it does have its place. In fact, it wouldn't hurt you to talk to the doctor, too, except that I know in your case it would be pointless."

_It's gonna be pointless with DiNozzo, too. He can act his way out of just about anything._

Getting himself under control, the Lead Agent asked wearily, "How long?"

"I can arrange for Agent DiNozzo to see the psychiatrist tomorrow. If things go well, he could be back in the field the next day."

"He's not gonna like it."

"I'm not asking him to."

And with that, Gibbs knew the discussion was over. Unfortunately, it wasn't in time to catch Tony before he'd left.

* * *

Gibbs wearily descended the stairs from the Director's office. Tony's desk was empty, just as he'd expected, but Kate and McGee were both watching him, not even making the effort to disguise their curiosity.

"Did DiNozzo leave already?" He knew the answer but asked anyway.

"Yes, he said the Director sent him home to rest. Is everything ok, Gibbs?" Kate asked worriedly.

"Nothing to worry about, Kate. But DiNozzo's gonna be on desk duty for a few days."

Suddenly McGee jumped up. "But he didn't do anything wrong. That's not fair, Boss!"

The older man looked at the junior agent in surprise, not expecting the show of defensiveness on behalf of a coworker with whom he shared such a contentious relationship. "No one says he did anything wrong, Agent McGee. It's not a punishment. He just needs a break for a few days, that's all."

"Oh. Well that's good. I guess. He did seem kind of….strange." Changing the subject, he hesitantly asked, "So what about the complaint?"

"Stop worrying about it, McGee. You did exactly what I told you. The Director's gonna back us up."

The Probie sat back down in his chair with great relief. But Kate was still staring at him, knowing there was more going on than he was telling them. "Did Tony ask to be on desk duty?"

"No, Kate. The Director thought it was best. And I haven't told him yet, so don't you say anything to him."

The disapproval was evident on Agent Todd's face, but she nodded in agreement. "I won't be seeing him before tomorrow. But I'm assuming you're planning to stop by and check on him. I mean, even though you weren't worried or anything."

Agent Todd was finally beginning to understand a _few_ things about her coworkers at least. Gibbs didn't know whether he should answer with a smirk or a glare.

* * *

Gibbs didn't shirk away from confrontations very frequently, but this was one conversation he wished he didn't have to have. Bracing himself, he knocked on the door to Tony's apartment. There was no answer and no sound. He pounded a second time on the door, this time with much more force. Still no answer. "DiNozzo! Open the door before I break it down. I know you're in there. Saw your car outside."

The door opened slowly, Tony on the other side looking confounded as to why the other man was there threatening to break down his door. He had clearly showered, hair still wet and sticking out at odd angles. He'd changed into more comfortable clothing. He even looked like he may have just woken up. On the outside, he was looking much more like his Tony. If not for the eyes, Gibbs may have been fooled.

"Boss, what are you doing here?"

A question he wasn't ready to answer just yet. "You gonna let me in, DiNozzo?"

"Oh. Sorry." Tony stepped back and opened the door wider to let his boss into the apartment. Gibbs scanned the rooms, first the living room and then the kitchen. _At least I don't see any booze._ But he did notice there was a pillow and blanket on the couch. And a gun on the coffee table.

"Something wrong with your bed?"

A dark look passed over the younger man's face before he responded, "It was a little early. I was watching a movie."

Gibbs decided it best not to comment on the gun. "Talked to the Director. He'd gonna tell SecNav that the case was handled appropriately. The whole thing should blow over soon with the State Department."

"I'm glad to hear it. But I know you didn't come all the way over here to tell me that. Spill it. Or are you just checking up on me."

The older man examined his agent carefully. "Would that be such a bad thing?"

"No," the younger man admitted. "Just unusual. And I can tell there's something else. Just tell me, Boss."

Seeing Tony wasn't in the mood for talking, he decided to get straight to the point. "The Director wants you to have a psych eval. He's putting you on desk duty in the meantime."

Tony was obviously furious. "So, we didn't do anything wrong, but Morrow just thinks I'm crazy."

"Not crazy, Tony. But he thinks you need to talk to somebody about what happened."

"Not just _somebody, _Gibbs. A _shrink. _ Cause he thinks I'm screwed up."

"No one thinks you're screwed up, Tony."

This got a bitter laugh. "Really? I don't know about that. Maybe the Director should talk to my father. Or my ex-girlfriends. Even better, my ex-fiancee. Cause they could tell you some stuff…"

"Tony…"

"Do _you _think I need a shrink?"

Gibbs had argued against it and didn't put much store in psychiatrists, but standing here face-to-face with his agent, there was no doubt in his mind that the other man needed to talk to someone. He wished Tony would talk to _him_, but after dropping this particular bombshell on the younger man, he was certain it wasn't going to happen tonight. "You know what I think of psychiatrists, Tony. I was as upset as you are."

"I doubt that," Tony mumbled. "When do I have to do this?"

"Tomorrow."

"Wow. Not wasting any time are they? At least I can get it over with fast. Not like I haven't been forced to go through a psych eval before."

And Gibbs knew he'd always been able to pass them with flying colors. He had no doubt Tony would get through this one, too. And be entirely dishonest in the process.

"You know, Boss, I appreciate you coming over to tell me this in person. And I know it's not your fault." Gibbs wished _he _knew this entire situation was not his fault. "I'm just kinda tired and I think I'll turn in early if you don't mind. I'll see you in the morning."

Gibbs knew when he was being dismissed. On his way out he couldn't help turning to Tony and saying, "I understand if you can't be honest with the shrink tomorrow. But you better be honest with me before you even _think_ about going back out in the field."

_**To be continued….**_


	12. Chapter - Doubt, Part III

**Episode tag for "Chained." Part III. And yes, there will be a Part IV which will be the last part, and hopefully best part, of this very long tag.**

**And just so you know, I also know nothing about psychiatry.**

"**Doubt – Part III"**

The Anthony DiNozzo who arrived for work at NCIS headquarters the next morning provided a sharp contrast to the one who had left the bullpen on the previous day.

Every sharp edge had been smoothed over. He was impeccably dressed in a suit and tie, topped off with his aforementioned $500 pair of Salvatore Ferragamos that he had never actually worn to work before. But, if he was going to be relegated to desk duty all day, knowing he wouldn't be chasing any suspects through mud puddles, _and _was going to be forced to also have his head shrunk, well, at least he was going to look good doing it. And even if he himself was the one who had to say it aloud, he looked _good._

The stubble was gone, as were the angry red streaks across his eyes. He'd removed the bandage from his neck, leaving only a trace of the sole reminder on his person of the ordeal he'd endured the previous day: a small red cut on the side of his neck. He was wearing his 1000-watt smile again, hoping it would put the finishing touches on his look and distract attention from the cut.

As he walked into the bullpen, he could feel every set of eyes in the room on him. Not just his own teammates' eyes, either. _Everyone. _

Gibbs had only told Kate and McGee half of the details on the previous day. They'd thought the "desk duty" assignment was simply to give their coworker a break from the action, just long enough to get his head together. Himself. Perhaps with the help of some Chinese takeout, practical jokes, maybe a side of flirting thrown in. It wasn't until the psychiatrist, Dr. Newton, had arrived earlier that morning that the tongues of the Navy Yard had really begun wagging.

First, the unrecognized, balding, middle-aged man in the grey suit wearing the Visitor badge had arrived looking lost and asking for Director Morrow. Kate, still ignorant of the reason for the man's presence, had confronted him with, "I'm sorry, is the Director expecting you?"

"Yes. Please tell him Doctor Newton is here."

Kate stood there looking puzzled when Gibbs had walked in. He'd studied the man closely before extending his hand. "Agent Gibbs. I'll tell the Director you're here."

McGee, as usual, sat in silent confusion, but Kate began to put the pieces together. If a "doctor" was visiting them, it was likely a psychiatrist. Besides, the man gave off that "vibe," and her sister shared in the profession, after all. Given what her partner had been through in the past couple of days and the fact that he'd been unexpectedly relegated to desk duty, all the signs pointed to one thing.

After the Director had escorted the other man upstairs, Kate had confronted her boss. "He's a psychiatrist, isn't he? Tony has to pass a psych eval."

"Nothin' to worry about, Kate. Routine. DiNozzo's been through them before. So have you."

McGee piped in just a little too loudly. "Tony has to talk to a psychiatrist? Is something wrong with him?"

It was just loud enough to draw the attention of the new female agent across the room. The one Tony had been flirting with shamelessly, to no avail. Her eyes widened momentarily until Gibbs caught her staring and gave her an icy cold glare. She quickly turned away, but couldn't resist the urge to whisper something to her more senior partner.

Gibbs turned his attention, and his glare, back to his Probie agent. "There's nothing wrong with Agent DiNozzo. Just a precaution. And I suggest you not look at him like that when he gets here, Agent McGee. Unless you enjoy carrying around your keyboard stuck to your fingers."

McGee looked appropriately uncomfortable and quickly turned back to whatever he'd been pretending to work on. Nothing else had been said on the matter since.

Now Tony was walking to his desk sensing the whispers around him and realizing the cat had somehow been let out of the bag. He couldn't blame anyone, really. He'd be curious, too, were it another of his coworkers. Besides, most everyone at NCIS already believed he was slightly off his rocker, anyway. The only opinions that really mattered to him were those of his boss and his teammates. And, of course, the Director, without whose stamp of approval he couldn't go back to field duty. That's why his performance today had to be flawless.

Ignoring the stares and the whispers, Tony casually strolled to his desk and presented a somewhat subdued greeting. "Morning, Boss. Kate. Probie."

The Probie was looking unusually guilty. _Come to think of it, he was looking awfully guilty yesterday, too. When this is over, I'm gonna have to find out what's up with that._

Gibbs greeted the younger man with his usual silent nod, though his gaze lingered a bit longer than usual. Tony had put great effort into his outward appearance, exactly as his boss had expected him to.

Kate's stare of pity was the one making him most uncomfortable. So he baited her. "You're here nice and early, Kate. Things not going so well between you and…what's his name again? _Harrison? _Sounds like an attorney."

"Things are fine with us, Tony. Thanks for asking." She'd figured out exactly what he was trying to do. Deflect. There were several things she was beginning to decipher about her partner lately. "You look nice today. Glad to see you got some rest yesterday."

Tony hadn't been expecting the sincere response but his reflexes were even sharper than usual. He came back quickly with, "Slept like a baby." Rubbing his hands together he said with faux excitement, "All ready to tackle those cold cases. Bring 'em on!"

Gibbs was wearing a slightly bemused expression which was interrupted when his phone rang. "Gibbs….Yes, sir…Yes, I'll send him over."

He caught Tony's eye and nodded down the hall. "Conference room, DiNozzo."

If the younger man's smile faltered, it was barely perceptible. "On it, Boss!" he exclaimed with an assurance he didn't feel.

* * *

"Agent DiNozzo, I presume?" the slight, middle-aged man asked, standing up and politely extending his hand.

_Smile. But not too big. _"Yes. Call me Tony. Please." _Firm, confident handshake._

"Tony, I'm Doctor Newton. Very pleased to meet you. Please have a seat and make yourself comfortable. Can I get you anything?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that question? Since I work here and you're the guest?" Tony quipped. _Too bad it's not a woman. But I guess that would've been too easy._

"Touche. The Director told me you had quite the sense of humor."

_Well that's interesting. I didn't realize Morrow even had a sense of humor. _"I try. I'm glad to hear the Director appreciates it."

"Tony, I'm sure you know why we're here so I'm not going to play games or dance around the issue. I understand you've just completed a very tough undercover assignment and that things didn't go according to plan. While I've been called in to do an evaluation, I'd like to assure you that nothing you tell me will leave this room."

_No, of course not. You're just going to tell the Director if I'm still sane enough to do my job or not. _"I appreciate that, Doctor."

"So why don't we begin by you telling me briefly what happened?"

_Like you don't already know. _"Well, we were trying to find a suspect's accomplice who was in possession of some stolen goods that we believed he was trying to sell. The guy in custody wouldn't talk, so I went undercover as a fellow prisoner who escaped with him and tried to get him to lead me to the goods and his accomplice. Which he did, by the way. But my team sort of lost track of me due to some unfortunate circumstances, and it turned out that the guy I 'escaped' with was a serial killer. He pulled out a knife and tried to kill me, so I was forced to shoot him." _Nice and calm, Tony. _

"I see. And what was the suspect's name?"

"Which one?' Tony asked nonchalantly.

"The one you were forced to shoot. I assume he's deceased?"

_Deceased. Nice. Sounds so harmless. _"His name was Jeffrey White. And yes he's…._deceased." And how do you feel about that, Agent DiNozzo?_

"That was a pretty gutsy assignment. Whose idea was it?"

_Guess he's saving the 'how do you feel' question for later. _"Mine. We were in a time crunch and we needed to get the info before the goods disappeared. Statistically, we only had 24-48 hours before that would have happened." _Owe you one, Probie._

"Obviously, I looked at your file before our meeting today. You're quite experienced at undercover work, Tony. You enjoy it?"

Tony's eyes narrowed just the tiniest bit. _What angle is he taking here? _"I suppose so. It's something different. Maybe I get bored easily. Most agents crave a certain amount of excitement. We don't like being stuck behind a desk all day." _Hopefully you can take a hint._

"You seem to be particularly adept at it. Why do you think that is?"

_I get it now. You want to know why I enjoy pretending to be somebody else. _"Everyone has their strengths. Mine happens to be undercover work. I also like movies. Guess I like the challenge of getting into other peoples' heads. I'm sure you can relate to that. _Doctor._" _Score one for DiNozzo._

Doctor Newton smiled knowingly. "You've been on some pretty tough undercover assignments before. This isn't the first one that didn't work out quite as planned. You ever feel any hesitation about doing the undercover work?"

_He's done his homework. Good thing I was prepared. _"I can see you've studied my pre-NCIS work history. I'm sure you know what happened in Philadelphia. But I've done a lot of undercover work since then. And mostly been successful. I was able to infiltrate the Macaluso family in Baltimore and I've been on several undercover assignments since joining NCIS. So if there were any…._hesitation…_as I believe you called it – it would have come up long before now."

"But you came very close to losing your life this time. Doesn't that give you pause?"

_As opposed to what? All the other times I could say I came close to losing my life? _"We risk our lives every day. Things frequently don't work out exactly as planned. I'm well aware of the risks. Though I do trust my team implicitly and that helps a lot."

"Even though they lost track of you?"

_Smooth. Trying to catch me by surprise. _"That's a matter of perspective, really. I mean, you could say I was the one who lost track of them."

"How _did _that happen, anyway?"

So far the interview had been relatively easy, but Tony now recognized they were entering shaky territory. "Jeffrey White sabotaged my tracking devices. He was brilliant at playing the bumbling, down-on-his-luck guy. He was clumsy, jumpy, neurotic. He tripped and dragged us through a stream and then he wrecked our truck."

"And you believed him."

_In other words, you think I'm an idiot. _"He was good. Really good. Seattle PD had his partner pegged with committing those murders. And even his partner told me White was 'easily manipulated.'" Tony sounded very convincing. He almost even managed to convince himself that Jeffrey White was a regular Laurence Olivier.

"So you never had even a hint that something wasn't quite right with Jeffrey White?"

_A hint? Nothing was "quite right" about Jeffrey White. Or this whole assignment. _"I was more focused on his accomplice. Lane Danielson seemed like the bigger threat."

"So you let your guard down with Jeffrey White."

_Stay calm, DiNozzo. He's trying to make you angry. _"I _never_ let my guard down undercover, sir. I didn't believe Jeffrey White to be as much of a threat, but that doesn't mean I trusted him."

"How did you feel when you realized he was going to kill you?"

_There it is. _"I didn't exactly have a whole lot of time to think about it. I defended myself. I did what I've been trained to do."

"Fair enough. How did you feel after it was over?"

Tony had been rehearsing his answer to that question since the night before. He made a great effort to look serious and thoughtful, taking a long, dramatic pause before answering. Then he said pensively, "It's a difficult thing to take a life. No matter how many times you have to do it. I spent a couple of days with the guy. Of course I didn't feel happy about it. But I did what I had to do. And I'd do it again. I suspect the families of his three victims, no excuse me, _four _victims if you include his accomplice, would agree."

Dr. Newton studied Tony quietly for a long moment.

_Now he's trying to make me squirm. Make me keep talking 'til I say something I didn't mean to. _Tony maintained eye contact but added nothing. If he appeared a little smug, certainly he'd earned the right.

"You mentioned that you never let your guard down undercover, Tony. What about outside of work. Do you _ever _let your guard down?"

"What makes you think I have it up now?" Tony asked innocently.

Doctor Newton was silent again for a moment before closing the file in front of him, scooting his chair back and standing. He extended his hand once again and said, "Agent DiNozzo, enjoyed meeting you. I'll let you get back to work now. My report will be to the Director by the end of the day."

_That's it? _Tony was trying to determine if that was a good sign or a bad one. But he pasted back on the smile. "Thanks, Doc. You know, you're not so bad. I've always thought psychiatrists had a bad rap, personally."

* * *

"Well, Doctor Newton, what's the verdict?" Tom Morrow asked with interest, secretly hoping for good news. While he was genuinely concerned for DiNozzo's wellbeing, he also selfishly dreaded dealing with Gibbs if he had to tell him he couldn't have his agent back just yet.

"Agent DiNozzo makes for an interesting patient, Tom."

"Knowing what I do about Agent DiNozzo, that really doesn't surprise me," Morrow said with a slight laugh. There had scarcely been a dull moment around the Navy Yard since Tony had started three years ago.

"I'm guessing he's been through a few evaluations before?"

"DiNozzo seems to attract trouble sometimes. Not his fault, but he's been in some highly unusual situations."

"Yes, I noticed that from his file. But that wasn't exactly what I meant. He was very well-rehearsed. Gave me exactly what he thought I wanted to hear."

"I see. So what does that mean going forward?"

"In spite of the fact that he mostly stonewalled me, I was able to pick up on a few things. First, I can certainly see why DiNozzo is chosen so often to do undercover work. And I truly believe his willingness to continue taking those types of assignments hasn't been hampered by past experiences, including this one."

"What about his fitness for duty?"

"I see no reason to not clear him for field duty. Which isn't the same thing as saying that I don't think there are any underlying issues you understand. Just that I think Agent DiNozzo is still perfectly capable of working around them to still do his job quite capably. He certainly managed to work around me."

"Both he and his supervisor will be very relieved to hear that. As am I. Any recommendations going forward?"

"Agent DiNozzo shows a great deal of faith in his team. That doesn't seem to have been dampened by any of his past experiences either. Since he obviously doesn't trust the psychiatric profession and doesn't seem to have close family ties, it's a plus that he has some other form of support system. Of course there is always the risk of having that trust broken, and were that to occur it could become quite an issue for Agent DiNozzo. I would also recommend exercising caution with the undercover work. While your agent is both eager and talented at it, I have some concern about his ability to remain detached from it, as I would with any agent exposed to spending long periods of time working undercover. In other words, I'm recommending he be cleared for full duty, but it would be wise to keep an eye on the situation."

"I appreciate your assistance, as always, Doctor Newman. I trust I can always call on you in the future."

"Call on me anytime, Tom. Although I suspect your agents are never as pleased to see me as you are."

* * *

Gibbs felt a huge portion of the weight lifted from his shoulders at the news, though not the entire load.

"DiNozzo isn't entirely out of the woods, you know Jethro. The Doctor still felt it wise to keep an eye on him. He said Tony was cleared for field work, not that he was one hundred percent fine," the Director warned.

"I realize that, sir. I'll keep an eye on him, believe me." _He's not out of the woods with me yet, either._

"Yes, I believe you will," Director Morrow replied, satisfied.

* * *

"Well, Boss?" Tony asked expectantly.

"Well, DiNozzo. You better show up tomorrow ready to work your butt off, cause you're back on field work."

His agent smiled the first genuine smile he'd seen in days. "I knew it! Thanks, Boss. You know I hate desk duty."

"I hope you remember what I said. You may have gotten by the shrink, but you don't fool me."

* * *

Tony stared at the bottle and glass in front of him on his coffee table watching the events of the past few days play through his mind like scenes from a movie. He should be feeling pretty good right now, he realized. Instead, the doubt had crept back in.

_How did I miss all those signs that Jeffrey wasn't who he appeared to be? Why did I feel so compelled to help him? Why did I wait so long? Long enough to let him get a piece of me with his knife…_

He poured the golden liquid into the glass, picked it up, and studied it. If he'd ever needed the promised escape found in that bottle, it was right now.

He _really _wanted to take a drink, but something stopped him.

It was a memory. A fuzzy one. More of a feeling, really. A feeling of warmth and safety. Trust without judgment.

He wanted to feel that way again more than anything. For that to happen, he'd have to return to the place where he'd felt it to begin with.

That would mean leaving behind the refuge found in that bottle. Which one to choose?

Abruptly, he jumped up and took the bottle over to the sink, pouring every last drop of the contents down the drain. Then he grabbed his keys and rushed out of his apartment, pausing only to lock the door.

There was someplace else he really needed to be tonight.

_**To be continued…**_


	13. Chapter 13 - Doubt, Part IV

**Episode tag for "Chained," Part IV/Conclusion.**

"**Doubt – Part IV"**

He paused his work for what seemed like the hundredth time that night and trained his ears on picking up any extraneous sounds coming from upstairs. He waited in silence, realizing, once again, that it had been a false alarm. With a weary sigh he glanced over at the clock. It was 10:30pm. Not terribly late, really. But not terribly early either. He couldn't shake the feeling that time was running out.

Of course, he _could _just pick up his cell phone, dial DiNozzo's number, and _order _the younger man to get his butt over there, ASAP. And he had no doubt that Tony would comply. The other man never disobeyed a direct order from him. He could also march over to Tony's apartment again and refuse to leave until his agent came clean about the past few days. But both of those options would utterly defeat the purpose. It was about more than getting Tony to talk to him about his feelings regarding the Jeffrey White case.

It was about showing the other man that he wasn't alone. That he had a place to go where he was welcomed and accepted. A place where he could feel he belonged. And it was a realization Tony had to come to entirely on his own. Gibbs had done his part, extending the invitation numerous times and in varying ways. Now he simply needed to wait for Tony to meet him in the middle. Unfortunately, waiting was never a particular strength of Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Picking up a tool, he was just about to continue his work when he heard it. This time it was the unmistakable sound of footsteps upstairs. Gibbs held his breath as he focused on the sound, willing the footsteps towards the basement and down the stairs. It seemed to take forever. He heard a few steps, but then they faltered. Then a few more accompanied by another long pause, the owner of the feet engaging in an internal battle, and wavering between advancing and retreating. Finally, he heard the familiar creaking of the basement door, as he still sat in silence willing himself to breathe and daring not to move. Not yet.

Tony haltingly made his way halfway down the basement stairs and then stopped, at last daring to look at the occupant with a questioning look. One that indicated he still wasn't completely certain he was welcomed here.

Gibbs met his eyes and began the conversation with, "It's about time, DiNozzo."

Four words that held in their grasp the events not only of that evening, or even of the last few days, but of several months. Months spent trying to build a fragile understanding and trust. Months worth of stops and starts, successes and failures. Months that had led them to this moment. The moment Tony was finally prepared to show up in Gibbs' basement of his own accord, ready finally to bare just the smallest piece of his soul.

Still, there was hesitation. "You were expecting me, Boss?" Tony asked with a hint of surprise and confusion, even as a part of him already knew it to be true.

Gibbs simply gave him a look he knew well. _What do you think, DiNozzo? _

Tony prepared to take a seat in the same spot at the mid-point of the basement stairs that he had reluctantly occupied months earlier. But giving the younger man such an easy escape route was no longer an acceptable option for Gibbs.

"Not there." Gibbs indicated a chair next to his workbench just a few feet away from where he was seated. Not too close so as not to be threatening, but within a comfortable distance for both conversation and eye contact. "There's a perfectly good chair down here."

Looking just a bit nervous, DiNozzo obediently descended the remaining steps and took his seat in the chair. He glanced around the room, taking in the surroundings and really focusing on them for the first time. The room was very plain and simple, filled with the smells of sawdust, coffee, and a hint of what Tony assumed to be bourbon. If a room could hold the essence of a person, this one embodied his boss to a tee.

He turned his attention to the workbench and noticed the bottle of bourbon at the other end of the table. Gibbs instinctively opened the bottle and grabbed a couple of mason jars, pouring some of the liquid into each. But before he handed one of the jars to his guest, he issued a directive. "You drink this, DiNozzo... you're not going anywhere for a while."

Tony nodded his understanding, accepting the jar and taking a tentative sip to calm his nerves. Gibbs had been clear. It was too late to back out now. There would be no quick and easy escape if things became uncomfortable. And he wasn't going to get away with any dishonesty or smokescreens. He was terrified. And he was relieved.

Gibbs gave him a few minutes to collect his thoughts, but then could wait no longer. "Talk to me, Tony."

But the younger man's mind, usually overflowing with thoughts and words, drew a blank. "I'm not quite sure where to start."

His boss had mercy on him and gave him just the slightest nudge. "You told me you liked him."

His agent took on a very troubled expression. "I did, Boss. I wanted to _help _him."

"That's nothin' to be ashamed of, Tony."

Tony looked incredulous. "How can you say that? It almost got me killed. I came _this close _to having my throat slashed," he emphasized as he pulled back his collar in revealed the remnants of the cut to his neck.

"But you didn't let it happen. When it mattered, you did what you were trained to do," his boss assured.

"Barely. And for a split second, I even felt guilty about it," the younger man added with chagrin.

"Nothin' wrong with that either, DiNozzo. You have a conscience. That's a _good _thing." Noticing his guest still appeared unconvinced, Gibbs took a different approach. "So, why did you like him?"

Tony took a deep breath and exhaled. "Well, that's the million dollar question, isn't it? He seemed like more of a victim than a serial killer. He was nervous and clumsy. Unsure of himself. Easily led. Or so I thought. Kind of like the Probie, but not as smart and even nerdier." This drew a smile from Gibbs. "I guess I had this urge to protect him."

It was absolutely consistent with everything he knew about Tony, Gibbs thought. In spite of the way his agent could find a thousand or so ways to annoy and traumatize his teammates, the Lead Agent also knew him to have a fiercely protective streak. "What did you think you needed to protect him from?"

With a short, sarcastic huff of laughter, he answered, "Lane Danielson, for one thing." Suddenly Tony became slightly agitated, jumping out of his chair and starting to pace the tiny room. "Isn't _that _ironic? Danielson was the one who needed protecting from Jeffrey. The guy _played _me. He wasn't clumsy at all. And he _was _smart. Like a fox. And I fell for it. Maybe if I hadn't, Danielson wouldn't have died."

Gibbs frowned, hoping Tony wasn't actually trying to blame himself for what happened to White's accomplice. "Danielson was hardly innocent. He was a thief at best. And we don't know that he wasn't planning to kill you himself. You said the gun was his and he wanted to get rid of you. White may have actually saved your life."

Tony looked at his boss dubiously, though silently acknowledging that the other man may have a point, one he hadn't yet considered. "I still don't understand why Jeffrey didn't kill me too at the cabin. He already suspected I was a cop. He could've gotten rid of me and no one would have caught on to his location, probably until he'd sold the antiquities and left the country. So why did he take me with him and take the risk?"

The older man had nothing to offer to shed any light on that particular conundrum. Instead, he answered with a question, one he hoped may give them both some additional insight. "You said he told you in the car that he'd suspected you were a cop. He say anything else?"

DiNozzo walked back over to his chair, finally calmed somewhat from his earlier outburst, and dropped back into his seat. "He told me he'd meant it earlier when he told me no one had ever treated him like I had. I'm not sure now how he meant that. I mean, he _was _just about to slash my throat."

"He could've been sincere. Maybe he thought he could turn you and wouldn't have to kill you. But when you told him you were a cop and offered him a deal he knew it wasn't gonna happen."

"Maybe," Tony responded thoughtfully. "I should've picked up on something sooner. You know, I couldn't understand it when Kate told me she had a chance to take down Ari Haswari and she didn't take it. And now I've made the same mistake."

Gibbs shook his head slightly. "No, not exactly the same, DiNozzo. Kate _saw _Haswari commit his crimes. You didn't know White was a killer. When you did, you took action."

"But how could my judgment have been so far off? How can I trust my instincts now if I was so wrong about him?"

"You think I've never misjudged someone? Wouldn't we make arrests a lot quicker if I always knew when someone was lying to me?" Tony seemed to be considering the point. "I was the one who sent you undercover with the guy. You think I'd have done that if I thought he was a killer?"

"No, Boss, of course not," his guest replied with a frown. "But you don't think it's _your _fault, do you?"

The way Gibbs averted his eyes gave away his thoughts. If Tony was finally being honest, he supposed he owed it to the other man to do the same. "My gut was going off before the op even started. I blew it off, thought I was overreacting. I didn't have anything to go on. But I still should've told you I didn't have a good feeling about White." He reluctantly added, "I just thought it might sound a little crazy."

Tony had rarely known his boss to doubt himself and didn't know what to say. Was it possible Gibbs had begun questioning his own instincts in light of the information they'd learned about Ari Haswari's status as a double agent working for Mossad?

Prompted by the younger man's silence, the Lead Agent continued. "I let you down, Tony. I didn't have a good enough backup plan and let you get away from us. I didn't find the gas station quick enough. I should've known you were my hang-up caller. If I'd figured it out quicker, maybe I'd have gotten there in time and you wouldn't have been on your own against White."

"Wow, Boss," Tony said in awe. "I've never even thought about blaming you. I always knew you were doing the best you could to find me. The keys in the pay phone and the calls, I knew they were both long shots." Then the younger man thought of a possibility that actually might work to assuage his boss' guilt. "You know, if you had found us before I knew Jeffrey was the murderer, it might have spooked him. And I wouldn't have been expecting it. And, who knows, maybe he'd have succeeded in killing me. So, maybe it all worked out the way it was supposed to."

Gibbs searched the other man's features for any sign of dishonesty or insincerity, but found none. In spite of their recent circumstances, Tony still had absolute faith in him as their Team Leader. And he hoped they were taking real steps towards extending that trust to include the personal. The fact that Tony was here in his basement of his own accord sharing the things that a trained professional was unable to glean from him was the most positive development yet.

"I don't have any less faith in your judgment than I did before, DiNozzo. If I did, you think I'd let the Director put you back on field duty?"

"No," Tony responded truthfully. "You wouldn't do anything to endanger the team."

"And neither would you," Gibbs said with emphasis. He could tell by the look on Tony's face that he was seriously processing the information. Not all of the doubt was gone, but that would take some time. The important thing was that Tony now knew he wasn't so different from himself. None of them were infallible.

They sat in companionable silence for a couple of minutes before Tony changed the subject. "You know, I didn't expect to ever be down here again after the last time," he said with a nervous laugh.

With a slight half-smile, Gibbs replied, "I know. Good thing you were wrong."

Now the younger man genuinely smiled, looking down almost shyly. "Thanks, Boss. For everything."

The older man gave a nod of affirmation and then added, "Should be a lot easier for you next time."

_Next time. _Gibbs had made a comment like that once before, when Tony had been staying there and his boss had made them his cowboy-style dinner. That time, the idea of a next time had been unimaginable. This time he knew it was true. He'd be back here again. He didn't know when or why, but he did know he now had a place to go when he needed comfort, assurance, safety. Or just to not feel so alone. And it was a lot more satisfying than a bottle of Scotch. Though the bourbon was a nice touch, too.

Suddenly, Tony thought of a question he'd been wanting to ask his boss, and now seemed like as good a time as any. "Hey, Boss? You never really explained to me why the Deputy Secretary of State filed a complaint to begin with. How did she even get in the middle of this?"

With an amused smile, Gibbs told the story, knowing his agent would appreciate the humor in the situation more than anybody else. "She conferenced in to MTAC for an update, but since you were undercover, and Kate and I were tracking you, the only one available to talk to her was Agent McGee…"

Tony broke into a huge grin, beginning to anticipate where the story was going. "Poor Probie. Please continue, Boss."

"Well, I guess McGee got a little flustered and she threw a temper tantrum when she found out we'd lost track of you and Jeffrey White. So I told McGee next time he talked to her to just tell her to stick it."

DiNozzo's eyes widened as he sat in momentary shock. "Nooooo…..did he? Tell the Deputy Secretary of State to 'stick it'?"

"He did," Gibbs said proudly.

Tony laughed. "I don't believe it! And I missed it! No wonder the Probie's been acting so funny."

"I told him he did a good job, but when he found out the Director was debriefing you and then you had to see the psychiatrist I think he felt a little guilty."

"Are you kidding? That's awesome! We're gonna make an agent out of him yet," Tony said, this time the one sounding proud.

"Maybe you should tell him that," Gibbs offered matter-of-factly.

"Me?" Tony said in confusion. "If you telling him he did good didn't help, I'm sure anything I say won't make a difference. I doubt the Probie cares too much about my opinion."

"Don't be so sure of that, Tony. I think it'd mean a lot to him."

As Tony sat considering his boss' last statement, Gibbs reached over and took the now empty glass from him. "I meant what I said about you not driving home anytime soon. Guest bedroom is in the same place if you're tired."

Tony knew he should've been tired, but he wasn't ready to leave the warmth of the basement just yet. "Thanks, Boss. If you don't mind, can I just stay here for a little bit? I won't interrupt you if you want to work on the boat."

His boss responded by picking up a tool and getting back to work, his guest sitting back in his chair and feeling more relaxed than he could remember in quite some time.

They remained in a comfortable silence for about an hour before Tony quietly got up and moved to the guest room.

Just before he drifted off to sleep, he wondered if he should start keeping a change of clothes in his boss' guest room. For all the "next times" to come.

* * *

**Epilogue**

Tony had made it to work the next morning early enough to shower and change into the extra set of clothing he always kept at the office with none of his coworkers any the wiser.

However, when McGee arrived to work, he did give a slightly odd look to his coworker, noting that the other man was there unusually early.

"Morning, Probie," Tony said playfully.

"Morning, Tony," McGee responded, still seeming slightly nervous. "Uh, glad to have you back…"

Looking around, to ensure they wouldn't be heard by any prying ears, Tony walked over to McGee's desk and knelt down conspiratorially. "Is it true, McGee?"

Tim's eyes got big. _What could Tony be talking about? Could he have found out about the book I'm writing? _Calming slightly once he realized his coworker would have no way of knowing about the book, he inquired, "Is what true?"

After a dramatic pause, Tony asked, "Did you _really _tell the Deputy Secretary of State to stick it?"

McGee turned five shades of red. "Y-yes. But Gibbs told me to. And honestly I didn't know it would cause you so much trouble, Tony. I'm really sorry."

"Probie…" Tony said very seriously.

McGee squeezed his eyes shut and braced himself for the onslaught.

"_Good job!"_ Tony said, adding a quick pat on the shoulder for emphasis before going back to his desk. He noticed Gibbs had very quietly walked in and caught the very end of their brief exchange. The older man gave him a slight smile of approval, which made Tony smile.

McGee's mouth was hanging open momentarily before he began to smile too.

Just then, Kate walked in. After the stress of the last few days, it was a relief to arrive to all three of her coworkers smiling, even Gibbs. Until, of course, she realized that they were all unwilling to let her in on the joke.

Yes, things really were back to normal.


	14. Chapter 14 - Comfort and Joy

**This one is not connected to any particular episode. There is a period of almost a month between "Chained" and "Black Water" during which Christmas would have occurred, and I just couldn't resist the temptation. How might our favorite team have spent their 2004 holiday? **

**There is a very simple case included in this story, mainly included to drive the other events, as writing case-related stuff is really not my strength. **

**So, Merry Christmas…in July!**

"**Comfort and Joy"**

It was 1:00pm on Christmas Eve, and three of the members of the MCRT could no longer pretend to not be eavesdropping on the increasingly loud telephone conversation taking place at the desk of its fourth member.

"Look, Pam, as I already explained to you – I have to work! We're on call tomorrow. There's no way I can drive to New York with you tonight. I need to be nearby if we get called out on a case…."

The voice on the other end of the phone was becoming louder and more agitated by the minute.

"I'm sure once you get there and see your family, you won't even miss me….But…Okay, Pammy, listen to me, I'm _certain_ your parents will understand…I mean, we've only been seeing each other for a month…"

Tony abruptly winced and moved the telephone receiver away from his ear as the agitation turned to shrieking. Even Gibbs stopped what he was doing and stared with blatant interest in the direction of DiNozzo's desk.

Gingerly moving the receiver back to his ear, Tony quickly stated, "Pam, I've got to go to a meeting. We'll have to finish this later, "and abruptly hung up. He rested his head in his hands for a moment in frustration before his partner predictably chimed in.

"Sounds like you've really outdone yourself this time, DiNozzo," Kate said smugly.

Frustrated, he barked back, "Oh, c'mon, Kate. Even you have to admit that taking a guy home to meet the parents after a month is rushing things just a tad."

"Oh, I didn't mean that. I meant that she sounds like a real nutjob. Good thing you rescued that poor guy who was gonna marry her from a lifetime of listening to _that_. So very noble of you."

He shot her a look of annoyance before noticing that his boss was staring at him. Gibbs' unspoken _"I told you so" _was even more troublesome than Kate's blatant sarcasm.

He now recalled with a touch of guilt how the older man had reacted when he'd discovered Tony was seeing Lieutenant Pam Kim. "_Kate said she told you she was engaged. You really want to get involved with someone who was that quick to dump her fiancé?" _Of course, the unspoken ending to that statement had been, "_Have you forgotten how that felt when it happened to you?" _Thankfully, Gibbs had allowed that statement to merely hang in the air between them, understood but unspoken. However, he had decided to add, _"You sure this isn't just a rebound thing for Cassidy's benefit?" _That question had cut Tony to the quick. Of _course _it was a rebound thing. What was he supposed to do, sit around and feel sorry for himself?

And now Gibbs was giving him that look and he was desperately avoiding having to meet the other man's eyes. Fortunately, Kate continued.

"Well, at least one of us is happy to be working Christmas. I guess that's something, anyway."

Tony suspected if he'd read his boss correctly that there were at least two of them that were not exactly heartbroken to be on call for the holiday, but he kept that observation to himself. Even the Probie, who had mentioned that if they didn't get a case he would be driving down to Norfolk the next day to at least have Christmas dinner with his family, had been lacking a certain amount of enthusiasm when he'd mentioned the possibility. Tony suspected it had something to do with the fact that his father would be there this time.

But Kate, whose family was in Indiana, would have no such opportunity to make it home for Christmas dinner, and even though they'd known they'd be on-call for months, she had become increasingly despondent as the holiday had approached. And the one friend she may have felt comfortable spending the holiday with was out of town. Abby had left the day before to spend the holiday with her brother and his family, and while the two of them seemed to be as different as night and day from everything she had said about him, she always looked forward to spending time with them. Added to that had been her glee at the possibility of being there for an extremely rare white Christmas in New Orleans.

Kate was happy for her, of course, but also slightly jealous. In an effort to inject some holiday cheer into what was proving to be a disappointing season, she had made a batch of peppermint brownies for Christmas Eve. As the MCRT sat around trying to find things to do to keep them occupied that afternoon, the brownies were a welcome treat.

As the day finally wound down and they left for the evening, Tony had caught Gibbs' eye. While nothing had been said, both men had planned to show up to the office the next day, case or no case. Tony had heard rumors that Gibbs spent every Christmas in the office, even when they were not on-call. In past years, the younger man had always found a way to be out of town for the holiday, treating himself to a mini-vacation somewhere to help him forget the fact that his father was always too busy living the good life to be bothered with attempting to see his own son during the season of cheer. But with them all being stuck here in DC, and in light of his growing friendship with his boss during the past year, it seemed right somehow to spend his holiday with the other man. Even if it meant working cold cases.

So they exchanged a brief look, communicating a message understood only between them. _See you tomorrow._

* * *

As Gibbs arrived home from work that Christmas Eve, he was surprised to find a brown package sitting outside his door.

He didn't have many friends, and those he did have were not big on exchanging gifts for the holidays. He hadn't spoken with his father in years. With deepening curiosity, he picked up the small brown package and brought it inside.

Since he'd already received small gifts from Abby and Ducky, he wondered if it was possible this one could be from DiNozzo. There was no return address on the package.

He sat down on his couch and tore open the paper. Then he stared dumbfounded at the contents. Yes, this could definitely be from DiNozzo, but if so, he was certain it hadn't actually been intended for _him._

Shaking his head, he sat the box on his coffee table.

What on earth was he going to do with a jar of Honey Dust?

* * *

Tony had just sat down on his couch with a bowl of popcorn to begin his annual tradition of watching "It's a Wonderful Life" when his cell phone rang.

_Great. It's Pam._

He very much wanted to just ignore it, but if he did that she would simply continue calling every five minutes until he answered. _Better to just get it over with._

Injecting a fake smile into his voice, he answered, "Hello, beautiful."

"Tony, I _really _miss you. Really, really, really…" She was slurring her words quite a bit and he could tell she'd been drinking. At least if she was drunk, maybe she'd be more mellow.

"I miss you too," he lied.

"No you don't. You don't care about me. If you did, you'd be here. I'm sooooo lonely, Tony…."

"I'll see you in a couple of days. And you've got your family. Aren't you happy to see them?"

"Yes, but it's not the same without you. Can't you please drive up after work tomorrow?"

He took a deep breath. "I told you, I have to be right back at work on Monday. It wouldn't make sense to drive all the way up there for just one day."

He heard a long, tortured sigh on the other end of the phone in response. In an effort to turn around the conversation, he asked in his sexiest voice, "Hey, did you get my present? It was in a brown box. I didn't put my address on it cause I wanted to surprise you."

Pam stared at the bottle of Jack Daniels in front of her, aghast. She had never imagined Tony would send her such an unromantic gift. "_That _was from _you?" _she asked in horror.

"Yes it was," he said proudly. "Can't wait 'til you get back here so we can enjoy it."

"_What? _You are _unbelievable! _I can't believe I broke up with Shaun for you," she said tearfully.

There was only one thing worse for Tony than dealing with an angry woman. A crying one. "Aww, Pammy, don't cry. Look, we'll get together in a few days when you get back, and you'll forget all about this, ok? Just…try to have a Merry Christmas."

He could hear her crying even harder just before she hung up on him. He usually got a much more positive reaction to the Honey Dust. This couldn't go on much longer.

Wearily beginning his movie, he came to a realization.

_I have to end this. So I can start my New Year as a free man._

* * *

It was 5:00am when Kate's cell phone rang. Her family knew better than to call her that early, even on Christmas. Which could only mean one thing. She looked at her caller ID. _DiNozzo. _

"Tony, if you aren't calling to tell me we have a case, I am _so _going to murder you, and I mean it this time!"

"We have a case."

"Oh." Surprisingly, it felt like good news. At least she wouldn't sit home alone all day. Then she felt guilty. "Tell me it's not a murder on Christmas."

"Hopefully not. Shondra Michaels, wife of Petty Officer Ryan Michaels, currently on leave, called to report him missing early this morning. He ran out to the store last night and never came home."

"Why are we investigating this? Do they suspect foul play for some reason?"

_Why was Kate making him think so hard before he'd even finished his first cup of coffee? Couldn't she ever just accept anything without question? _"His wife is concerned because he's been receiving some strange emails recently. They thought it was just a joke or a mistake, but now that he's missing she's afraid it's more. Boss wants us all to head to the house to question her."

After jotting down the address on a notepad, Kate reluctantly rolled out of bed, knowing this could prove to be a very long Christmas Day.

* * *

The house was quaint, modestly decorated for Christmas. When Kate, Tony, and Gibbs had all arrived separately at the home, they rang the doorbell and were greeted by Shondra Michaels and her 2-year-old daughter, Kyla. The child was still dressed in her Santa pajamas, sleepily hanging on to her mother.

"Thank God you're here. Please come in," Mrs. Michaels invited.

As they entered, Kate noticed the wealth of still-unopened Christmas presents around the tree, and the stocking hung over the fireplace with Kyla's name on it. At least the child was still young enough to be unaware of what was transpiring. Still, Kate thought with sorrow, if her father had been murdered, the child's entire future would be changed forever.

"Can I get you anything?" the distraught woman offered.

"No, thank you," Gibbs politely answered on behalf of himself and his agents. "We need to ask you some questions about your husband, Ms. Michaels."

"Of course. I'll tell you anything you need to know."

They took their seats in the living room, the three agents on the sofa and their hostess in a chair, Kyla sitting on her lap.

"What time did your husband leave last night and where was he going?"

"He left about 7:00. I needed a few things and almost everything was closed already. He was going to stop at the convenience store down the street for me and he never came home. I started calling his cell phone around 8:00 and always got his voice mail. By 10:00 I was frantic. I called all of our friends but no one had seen him. So I called the police."

Kate chimed in. "Ms. Michaels, you told the police that Ryan had been receiving some odd emails recently. Tell us about those."

Shakily, the other woman responded. "About two weeks ago, Ryan showed me a strange message from an email address we didn't recognize. The subject line said, "I know what you did." When he opened it, the rest of the message was blank. We assumed it was just a prank. But, he got a couple more messages after that, too. One of them said, "I'm coming for you" and another one said "Did you think you'd get away with it?"

"Did you report them to anyone?" Tony asked.

She sighed. "Unfortunately, no. We still thought it was a mistake or a prank. I mean, Ryan's a very good man. He's never been in any trouble and we couldn't come up with anything he might have done in his past that would warrant messages like that."

"How long have you been married?" Gibbs asked. As nice as she seemed, the spouse was always a suspect until ruled out by the evidence.

"Just over three years. We had Kyla a couple of years ago, and Ryan was so excited to be here with us for Christmas. Agent Gibbs, there's no way he would have missed it voluntarily. Please, you have to find him."

"Can you think of anyone who may have a grudge against your husband, ma'am? Anyone at all, no matter how insignificant it may seem," Tony pressed.

"No, no one. I'm sure you hear this all the time, but really everyone loved Ryan. He didn't have any enemies."

Standing up, Gibbs offered, "Thank you, Ms. Michaels. We'll do everything we can. We need to take his computer with us so we can investigate the emails."

"Of course. I appreciate it Agent Gibbs. And I'll be happy to answer any more questions you think of. Please, just find Ryan."

She stood little Kyla on the floor to see her guests out, but the little girl toddled straight over to Agent Gibbs and offered him the remnants of the cookie she'd been holding in her tiny hands. Gibbs smiled as he only did when confronted with children and gently patted her head before turning to leave. Kate followed first, and finally Tony with the computer.

Tony caught a sight of his boss' face as they walked back to their vehicles and he knew. There was going to be no rest for them until Petty Officer Ryan Michaels was found.

* * *

Agent McGee was at his desk typing furiously when the rest of the team arrived. As they approached the bullpen, Tony started looking around. There was Christmas music playing.

"Well, good morning to you, Tiny Tim," Tony teased.

Gibbs gave the younger man an odd look, and McGee stuttered, "Uh, Boss. I wasn't expecting you to be back so soon. I'll just…turn off the music," he said and he stood up.

"No, McGee. Leave it," their boss surprisingly directed. "What've you got?"

Kate and Tony exchanged a smile. Maybe their boss wasn't totally a cross between Ebenezer Scrooge and The Grinch after all.

McGee too was surprised, but quickly recovered and shared the information he'd recovered after a few hours of researching Petty Officer Michaels' background.

"Petty Officer Second Class Ryan Michaels is originally from Atlanta, Georgia, where both of his parents and his younger sister still live. He was an average student and joined the Navy shortly after graduating high school five years ago. Married Shondra Ellis three years ago and they had Kyla Michaels approximately two years ago. He has a pretty clean record since joining the Navy. I only found one thing of interest. Right after graduating from high school, his best friend, Brian Shaw, got into some trouble and was apparently convicted of armed robbery. He did time and was released about six months ago. During the investigation, Ryan Michaels was questioned by the police and provided some critical information that led to Brian Shaw's arrest. As far as I can tell, they haven't had any contact with each other since."

"That's good work, McGee. DiNozzo…"

"BOLO's out on Michaels' car. I'll trace his cell phone records. Probie," he said, taking the computer over and setting it down on his colleague's desk, "need you to trace the emails."

"Kate," Gibbs ordered.

"I'll find out what I can about Brian Shaw's current whereabouts."

Gibbs walked out, no doubt to make a coffee run, while his team set to work. As the Chipmunks started to play, Tony smirked and looked over at the Probie.

Feeling the other man's eyes on him, McGee quickly pleaded, "Please don't say it, Tony."

* * *

Gibbs strolled in with 4 cups of coffee, much to his team's surprise, and a bag of cookies. After he'd made his rounds and distributed both to his team, he asked the familiar question. "What've you got?"

"Tony's on the phone with the Norfolk PD. I think they may have found Ryan Michaels' car, Boss," McGee offered.

"Any luck tracing those emails?" Gibbs inquired.

"Almost there."

"While we're waiting, I found something interesting on Brian Shaw," Kate added. "He was released from prison in July. He moved into an apartment in a low-income area near Norfolk. He was depositing modest checks once a week, presumably from his parents. It looks like it took him a while to find a job, but about a month ago he took a job at a gas station. And get this, Gibbs. It's about 3 miles from the Michaels' home. Coincidence?"

"Don't believe in 'em," the boss said confidently.

Tony hung up the phone. "Norfolk PD found Michaels' abandoned car about a half hour ago. His cell phone's in it, turned off." He pulled up a map on the screen and showed his teammates the location. Kate gasped when she saw it.

"Kate?" Gibbs inquired. "You got something?"

"Shaw had a girlfriend for a brief period of time during the fall. She lived with her mother, but they both moved out of the area last month. However, the mother still owns the house, and it's not very far from there. Electricity's turned off. It's likely no one lives there. If Shaw knows that…."

"It would be a familiar location for him and also a great place to hide," Gibbs finished for her. "McGee, where are you with tracing those emails."

There was a brief pause. "Just got the trace, Boss." The younger man nodded gravely. "They came from Brian Shaw."

They all immediately sprung into action, donning their bullet-proof vests and other gear. They were going to that house, but what they would find there was still a mystery. They could be walking into a body dump or a hostage situation. Or, they could be just about to take a murderer by surprise. Worst of all, maybe they'd be walking into a dead end.

Hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst, Gibbs issued the order. "Let's go!"

* * *

They parked about half-a-block away and very stealthily got out of their cars, guns drawn. There was no one stirring outside, everyone likely enjoying their Christmas Day blissfully ignorant of the potential that a horrific crime had been committed just down the street.

Gibbs and Tony quietly approached the window, standing on either side while Kate and McGee stood by. Tony very slowly moved to peer in through the slight opening in the curtain. With a tiny surge of relief, DiNozzo identified a lone gunman and a very-much-alive Ryan Michaels, tied to a chair.

Moving back to his prior position, he whispered to his boss. "Michaels is tied to a chair in the middle of the room. Shaw is just to our right with a gun pointed at Michaels. Looks like he's talking to him but I can't make out anything."

Gibbs gave the next order. "We're going in through the back door," he indicated to his team. Kate and I'll go right, Tony and McGee will go left. _Quietly. _We don't want to spook him."

Tony tried the door, praying it would be unlocked by some miracle. It wasn't. Gibbs pulled out his lock pick and had the door open in seconds. They crept in according to their boss' orders and began to hear the conversation taking place between the two men.

"Why don't you just let me go, Brian? I won't say anything and you can get out of town. Start over somewhere."

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Brian Shaw looked around in a panic. "It's all your fault. All of it. I thought you were my friend."

"I _was _your friend. I didn't know you were planning to rob a convenience store when I saw you take off with those other guys. All I told the police was that I had seen you with them earlier."

"That was enough! You should've just kept your mouth shut." Shaw began to pace the room. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a job when you have a record? The best I could do was a gas station, and that was just because the owner was too dumb to do a background check. And my girl? As soon as she found out about my background she took off. You destroyed my life!"

"No, buddy," Ryan Michaels said defiantly. "You did that all on your own. First the drugs, then the gang. I tried to help you, you know. If you screwed up your life anyway, that's on you. If you're gonna shoot me, just do it already."

Brian Shaw pointed his gun and seemed to be considering it when DiNozzo's voice rung out. "NCIS! Drop it, Shaw!"

The suspect still had the gun trained on his ex-friend, but now noticed out of the corner of his eye that there was an agent to his right and one to his left, with two other agents behind them. Still, he refused to drop the gun.

"I said drop the gun, Shaw," Tony repeated. "Don't make us shoot you!"

The gunman hesitated a moment and then turned the gun away from Ryan Michaels and towards himself. At this point, Gibbs took over the conversation.

"You don't want to do that, Brian. Let us help you. You haven't hurt anyone yet."

"I can't go back to prison. You don't understand what it's like."

Knowing it was a risk, Ryan Michaels joined the conversation. "Listen to them, Brian. Let somebody help you. Think of your parents. They don't deserve this. Or Emily. Gosh, she must be all grown up now. I'm sure she doesn't want to lose her big brother."

At this, Brian Shaw broke down in tears, lowering the gun just enough for DiNozzo to quickly disarm and then handcuff him.

Meanwhile, Gibbs and Kate began to free Petty Officer Michaels from his bonds. The Michaels family would be having a happy Christmas after all.

* * *

Once the Norfolk PD arrived to take custody of Brian Shaw, Gibbs prepared to escort Ryan Michaels back to his family. However, McGee approached him with a question.

"Boss, since I brought my car and we're already in Norfolk…."

The Lead Agent already knew what the young man was going to ask and was quick with the answer. "Go, McGee. Enjoy the rest of the day with your family. We'll see you Monday."

"Thanks, Boss!" he responded excitedly. "Hey, Merry Christmas, guys!" he called over to Kate and Tony.

Gibbs turned his attention back to the matter at hand. "C'mon Officer Michaels. Let's get you home to that little girl of yours."

With a beaming smile of relief, Petty Officer Michaels eagerly responded, "I can't wait, sir!"

* * *

It was a beautiful scene when Ryan Michaels stepped out of the car and into the driveway of his home. Shondra and Kyla had both rushed to meet him, all three of them embracing and Kyla exclaiming loudly, "Daddy!"

Kate, Tony, and Gibbs observed the scene from a safe distance. Tony noticed Kate wiping away a few stray tears. _She's such a sap, _Tony thought.

If he rubbed at his own eyes a couple of times, it was merely because he had terrible allergies which had obviously chosen this moment to begin attacking him a couple of months prior to the actual start of his prime allergy season.

As DiNozzo glanced over at Gibbs, he noticed an odd expression on the older man's face. Something that could only be described as sorrow was mingled with just a touch of what Tony may have sworn was anger had they been in almost any other situation. But given that they were presented with a case that had ended so happily, and on Christmas at that, Tony brushed away the possibility as ridiculous. _The boss just doesn't wear his emotions the same way as other people, _he told himself.

Leaving the family to enjoy what was left of their day in privacy, the three agents got back into the sedan.

They had driven a couple of minutes when Gibbs made a very subtle, and quite unexpected, suggestion. "I've got some steaks back at the house."

Grinning, Tony said, "I'm in, Boss." Then turning to his partner in the back seat, he asked, "How about it, Kate?"

After the day they'd just had, how could she say no? Besides, she didn't have anywhere else to be. "Sure. Why not?"

* * *

"How's your steak, Kate?" Tony asked cheekily as the three agents sat around Gibbs' very modest table, remnants of a cozy fire still burning in the fireplace where he'd grilled their steaks a few minutes earlier, much to the female agent's amazement.

"Delicious, I must say." Kate's unspoken reaction to their boss' home had been a source of great amusement to her partner, though he gave her credit for mostly keeping her observations to herself. She went on to say, "Although, this is the most unique Christmas dinner I've ever had." She paused to take another swig of her beer.

"I don't think I've ever seen you drink beer before, Kate," Tony teased.

"There are still _lots _of things you don't know about me, DiNozzo," she offered temptingly while Gibbs sat across the table smirking and silently observing his two agents.

Tony had opened his mouth to offer a response when interrupted by Gibbs' cell phone ringing. The Lead Agent glanced at the caller ID and then shared the caller's identity with his guests. "It's Abby."

"Hey, Abs."

"Merry Christmas, Bossman. Guess what?" the forensic scientist asked excitedly.

Gibbs smiled and asked indulgently, "What?"

"We got snow! It's the first time in 50 years! Isn't that _amazing?_"

"That it is."

"How is your Christmas? I hope not too boring."

Glancing over at Kate and Tony he truthfully answered, "No, Abby, definitely not boring. Kate and Tony are here. We had a case today but wrapped it up and was able to send McGee home in time for dinner."

"Kate and Tony are there? Oooh, put them on speaker! I want to wish them a Merry Christmas!"

Gibbs pulled the cell phone away from his ear and stared at it in consternation. _Speaker? How do you do that?_

"Need help with something, Boss?" Tony offered.

Embarrassed, Gibbs admitted, "Abby wants to be on speaker…"

Tony grabbed the phone and pressed a few buttons. Putting the phone on the table, he said, "Abby? Can you hear me?"

"_Tony! _Is Kate there, too?"

"Merry Christmas, Abby," Kate responded while Tony glanced over to his boss with a teasing pride. Gibbs shot back his _Watch it, DiNozzo _expression, but without much heat behind it.

After exchanging holiday greetings with their favorite Goth, the three agents had gone back to enjoying the rest of their quiet but comfortable dinner. Once again, it was interrupted by the ringing of a cell phone, this time Tony's.

Glancing at the name, Tony quickly silenced the phone and tossed it aside, trying to avoid the curious glances of his dinner companions.

"It's Pam Kim again, isn't it?" Kate asked, while Gibbs simply raised his eyebrows.

Reluctantly, Tony admitted, "Yeah, she doesn't accept 'no' very well. I'll call her back later." It was a decision DiNozzo would regret later, as he would in fact forget to call her back, and would subsequently find himself ashamedly calling his boss on Monday morning to indicate he would be just a bit late due to having to clean the egg off of his car.

But for now, Tony was feeling completely satisfied. They'd wrapped up a case and gotten a mostly happy ending for once, and now he was spending Christmas with two of his favorite people, though he'd never admit that to Kate unless under serious duress.

And though she was missing her family, Kate also felt surprisingly satisfied with the ending of this particular holiday. Her partners were really not such bad company, after all. She picked up her almost empty beer bottle and proposed a toast. "Merry Christmas, guys."

Gibbs silently picked up his own bottle and toasted, while Tony, doing the same, looking at his teammates and returning the toast, offered his own, "Merry Christmas."

Then, looking at Kate, he added, "And here's to many more."


	15. Chapter 15 - To Have or to Have Not

**Filler and tag for "Black Water."**

**If you choose to see just a tiny smidgen of Tate in this, you could probably find it. If you choose to just see friendship and partnership, you can do that too. I promise I am not going into any official "ships" with any of my stories that aren't canon. However, since "Life Before His Eyes" aired, I believe it is canon that either Kate and Tony would have gotten together had she lived **_**or **_**that it is simply something that Gibbs **_**feels**_** would have happened in his own mind. And he had to have gotten that idea from somewhere. (Not to mention that at some point, I believe someone associated with the show admitted that there were plans for a relationship between Kate and Tony before Sasha Alexander announced she was leaving). **

**Regardless of how you see the relationship, I do believe Kate and Tony got closer during the second half of season 2. Which, of course, never means they stop tormenting each other.**

"**To Have or to Have Not"**

"You ok, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, noticing the still-clenched fist of the man in the passenger seat next to him. He understood the anger, of course. Seeing someone almost get shot when you are standing right next to them can have that effect. Not being able to catch the shooter doesn't help either. Even so, Tony seemed to be holding on to his anger and frustration a bit longer than usual.

"He was gonna shoot Saleena Lockhart right there in the open. McAllister's a sick…."

Gibbs cut him off. "We don't know that it's McAllister yet. And we don't know he was actually planning to shoot Saleena Lockhart either. Like you said, she was right there in the open talking to two cops, up close. Shooter had to know we'd see the red dot."

"Not you too, Boss," Tony bit back in frustration.

Now something was definitely up. DiNozzo didn't snap at him like that for no reason. Or at least not while on duty. "Me too _what, _Tony?" the older man asked with forced patience.

The younger man bit his lip just before saying with dripping sarcasm, "You've joined the Thomas McAllister fan club, I see. Kate is a founding member."

_I should have known. _Gibbs had caught a snatch of his two agents bickering when they'd returned from questioning McAllister. Tony had said something about Kate flirting with the other man. Kate had been very defensive of McAllister while Tony had displayed quite the opposite reaction. The Lead Agent was now questioning the objectivity of _both _of them. Still, sending Kate to dinner with their suspect was the best option currently presenting itself for getting at the truth. But first, he needed to know exactly what had occurred during the questioning. "Spill it, DiNozzo. What happened?"

Tony let out a brief, mirthless laugh before relating the tale. "Well, you know how Kate feels about rich people. Or, I suppose I should say, _felt, _about them. Except, of course, she probably _does _still feel that way about them, but has made an exception for Mr. McAllister…."

"DiNozzo…" Gibbs was not feeling particularly patient right at that moment.

"Right. Sorry, Boss. So, Kate and I got to the hangar and of course she had to pick apart everything, including the name of his airline. When I mentioned I liked it , she turned on _me_ and called me 'Rockefeller.' At least I finally know where she gets her low opinion of my skills. It seems Ms. Todd thinks I didn't have to work for anything," he said heatedly.

Gibbs doubted it was that extreme, though he had picked up on Kate's general hostility towards those with money. And Tony had been known to be sensitive about people assuming he hadn't earned his spot on the MCRT on his own. "She actually say that?"

The other man sighed. "No," he admitted. "Not in so many words. But she was quick to point out that _she_ had to work every day of her life to be where she is. Apparently, I didn't."

"And did you get as mad then as you are now?"

"Yeah, at first. I kind of blew up at her. But she looked really surprised and said she was sorry. So I pretended to be joking."

His boss had seen him do that before. Plenty of times. Back off rather than showing his true feelings. Make everything a joke. "She believe you?"

"I'm pretty sure she did, yeah. Like she believed you yesterday when you told her my parents withheld their money from me cause they knew what I'd do with it. I meant to thank you for the save, by the way."

Gibbs nodded and offered, "Didn't think you wanted to get into the stuff with your father. Seemed like the quickest way to end the conversation."

"You're right about that. I don't even want to think about trying to explain my dad to Kate."

Trying to get the younger man back on topic, Gibbs asked, "So is that all that happened?"

"Oh, no, that wasn't even the _best _part," he said, with his sarcasm returning. "No, the _best _part was the complete 180 she did when we walked in and met Thomas McAllister working on his own plane. Obviously, mechanics turn her on or something. I have never seen anyone change their tune so completely in that short a period of time. It was nauseating, really. I mean, it took like 30 seconds. And she's known _me, _what, a year-and-a-half now?"

The Lead Agent allowed the younger man his rant, letting him get it out of his system. He let a moment of silence hang in the air between them before asking, "You angry because you think it was McAllister that shot at Saleena Lockhart? Or because Kate gave him more benefit-of-the-doubt than she gives you?"

Tony took a deep breath to calm himself. "Both, I guess," he answered truthfully. "But now something else is really bothering me."

"And what might that be?"

"We're sending her to have dinner with him while you and McGee search his house. But I don't think she can be objective, Boss. It seemed like a good idea earlier, but after the way he just blatantly took a shot at that woman in broad daylight…."

"_Someone _took a shot at her, Tony. We don't know who yet," Gibbs reminded once again. While Kate was known for letting her empathy influence her judgment, this time his gut was telling him that McAllister was innocent. In fact, he had a pretty good idea who the guilty party may be, but so far had kept it to himself. He didn't want to influence his team before all the evidence was in.

"So, you want to take that chance? Getting her that close to a murder suspect? I mean, look what happened to me a few weeks ago, and we didn't even know White was a murderer. You think if Kate was in that situation with McAllister that she'd take the shot? Cause she certainly didn't with Ari Haswari."

The older man clenched his jaw tightly at the mention of his nemesis. Mossad or no, he hated that man. With some effort, he refocused his thoughts on the subject at hand. "I'm sending you as her backup. You'll be right outside and she'll be wearing a wire. You'll be able to step in before things go that far." Noting that Tony was still extremely uncomfortable with the idea, he added, "It's still our best shot, Tony."

Knowing he was defeated, DiNozzo nodded tightly. But he didn't have to like it.

* * *

Tony was still tense on the trip to the airport and Kate could feel it, even if she didn't immediately know the source.

"Are you sure you weren't really angry about what I said yesterday, Tony?" his partner asked.

"Why would you think that, _Kate?_" he sighed wearily.

"I don't know. You just….seem angry about something. And that's the only thing I can think of. I really didn't mean anything against you. It's just…" Kate hesitated. She didn't often share personal things with her partner, but considering the current circumstances it seemed appropriate. "I had to work my way through college. And I knew lots of people who didn't because they were there on their parents' dime and I guess I resented them for it. Maybe I still do sometimes. Maybe I feel like I missed out on something coming from a middle-class family with five kids and having to work since I was sixteen."

"You know how I paid for college, Kate?"

She looked at Tony with great interest. Kate had always assumed his father had paid the tab. Was it possible that wasn't the case? "How?"

"Sports. I went on scholarship."

"You were that good?" Kate asked with surprise.

Tony smiled, but not with arrogance as his partner might have expected. It was more like nostalgia. "Yeah. I mean, I _was _a Phys. Ed. Major. I assumed I'd be playing basketball for the first twenty years of my career."

"So what happened?"

His smile faded. "I broke my leg during a football game. Wasn't even my primary sport. The leg was never quite the same and the doctors said it had gotten as good as it was gonna get. I had to come up with a backup plan in a hurry."

"Gosh, I'm so sorry, Tony," Kate whispered. "That must've been tough to accept."

"It was," he replied seriously. "And all the money in the world still wouldn't have fixed it."

"I know. I really _do _know that money doesn't fix everything. Even if I do forget sometimes. But, what led you to become a cop?" Now that she'd gotten just a tiny piece of the puzzle that made Tony, well, _Tony_, she wanted more.

"That, Kate, is a very long story for another time," he said with relief as they pulled up to the airport. He'd shared quite enough for one evening, and the story of pulling Jason King out of that burning building was one he didn't think he had the energy to relive just now. "Because you've got a date to get to."

Suddenly Kate felt very nervous. This wasn't just a date. Thomas McAllister was a murder suspect, albeit a very charming one.

Sensing her anxiety, it was Tony's turn to suppress his own and offer assurance to his partner. "Now, I'll be right out here and if anything goes hinky I'll be there in a flash. I'll need you to test your mike before you go in."

She nodded and pulled down the sun visor to check herself in the mirror just one more time. "I'd ask you how I look, but I already made that mistake once tonight." Tony had practically ignored her altogether, but when pressed he'd simply offered an indifferent "Eh."

"I lied."

Distracted, she answered, "Huh?"

"I lied. Earlier. When you asked me how you looked. Actually, you look beautiful, Kate." And he meant it, all trace of his earlier hostility suddenly gone.

Stunned into shyness, Kate stopped her primping and gave a very soft, "Thank you, Tony." She very briefly caught his eye just before steeling herself and getting out of the car.

For some reason, she just couldn't help the playful kiss she'd thrown to her partner just before stepping into the hangar and the unknown.

* * *

The elevator doors closed and Tony slowly walked back to his desk preparing to go home at last. The case was closed and Kate had been right. McAllister really wasn't a murderer. And now she was headed off to New York with him for "dessert" at 2:30 in the morning. He knew he should be happy for her, but something still nagged at him. And the fact that something still bothered him actually made him even more bothered. It was a never-ending mountain of anxiety, really…

"My gut tells me he's a good guy, DiNozzo."

_Leave it to Gibbs to read my mind…even when I don't know what's in it. _ "I'm sure he is, Boss. It's just that Kate still barely knows him and she's jetting off to New York in the wee hours of the morning. Doesn't that seem a little strange to you?"

"You mean, stranger than your last girlfriend egging your car and putting your name on a herpes website?" Gibbs responded dryly.

"Thanks for the reminder," Tony said with chagrin. Returning to the original subject, he continued, "It's just that I'm not sure if Kate really likes _him _or if she just likes his money." Catching sight of his boss' glare, he quickly corrected, "I didn't mean that the way it sounded. What I meant was, you know, maybe Kate's all caught up in the magic."

"_Magic?" _ Gibbs asked skeptically.

"Yeah. Like Cinderella going to the ball. I mean, did she really love Prince Charming or was she just in love with the ball?"

_DiNozzo and his stories. At least I recognize that one. _Rule 12 briefly flashed across the Lead Agent's brain before he recalled that it was almost 3am and Tony was probably just operating on a lack of sleep and the crash from their earlier adrenaline rush that always accompanies the end of a case. "It's late, Tony. Go home and get some sleep. Kate's a big girl."

Of course, Gibbs was right as always. Kate was a grown woman who could take care of herself. A federal agent. One who used to protect the President, as she was so fond of reminding them all. She'd be fine.

Even if he couldn't shake the image of her from a few minutes earlier in the elevator, eyes wide with excitement like a little girl, shyly holding Prince Charming's hand. He hoped she was enjoying the ball.

He also hoped her carriage wouldn't end up turning into a pumpkin.

* * *

Kate finally arrived back at her apartment at 8am, still too wound up to sleep in spite of having been up all night.

She took off her coat and hung it on the rack, then walked over and plopped down on her couch, kicking off her shoes in the process.

What a day it had been. If someone had told her 10 years ago that one day she'd be flying to New York for dessert in the middle of the night with a rich, handsome, single man….

Well, even now she was laughing out loud. It was absurd, really. It was like a dream.

And maybe that was the problem. Because as wonderful as it had all been, she also knew that she wouldn't be seeing Thomas McAllister again.

* * *

"Morning, Tony," Kate said casually as she entered the office on Monday morning.

Her partner simply greeted her with a stare of expectation. Finally growing impatient, he simply said, "Well?"

"Well, what," she replied feigning ignorance. She knew DiNozzo was dying to hear all the details of her date, especially since he'd attempted to invite himself along. Teasing him with it was just too great a temptation.

"Well, I don't know, Kate. If I'd jetted off somewhere in the middle of the night on some chick's private plane, I'm guessing you wouldn't stop hounding me 'til I shared details. Am I right?"

"Not everyone is as nosy as you are, Tony. Thank God," she said smugly.

"Okay, then. You want to play it that way, fine. But I have McAllister's number," he threatened teasingly. Even McGee was looking at her expectantly.

"Fine, Tony. It was nice, ok?"

"It was…._nice? _I waited all weekend for…just _nice?"_

"What do you want me to say, Tony? We flew to New York on his plane, had dessert at a very fancy restaurant, walked around a little, and came home. There really isn't much to tell."

"And…so…does he do this every weekend or what?"

"I really don't know."

Confounded, he continued teasing, "Well, I hope when he flies you to Europe someday you'll remember your friends."

"I don't think that'll be happening. I wasn't planning to see him again."

Tony's hackles went up immediately. "What did he do?"

"He didn't _do _anything. He was a gentleman. It was just that….the whole thing….just wasn't _real, _you know?_"_

"No, I'm not sure I do."

Kate laughed at the utterly confused expression on DiNozzo's face. "I mean that it just wasn't _me. _It was a great experience and a wonderful memory. But to do that all the time….it just isn't who I am."

"Oh," Tony replied with more than a little relief, but also disappointment as a realization hit him. "Well before you tell him that, couldn't you arrange just a small dinner party in Paris and tell him you'd like to invite a few close friends…."

"Not in a million years, DiNozzo."

Kate may have voluntarily chosen the rags over the riches, but in a magical twist of irony, it was Tony now feeling that his carriage had been turned into a pumpkin.


	16. Chapter 16 - Fallibility

**Episode tag for "Doppelganger."**

**This is one of those episodes that sort of leaves you wondering exactly how things may have transpired afterwards, which of course is one of the many wonderful uses for fanfiction. It's also **_**very **_**interesting that Gibbs is the one whose partiality may have been compromised in this episode, since we've seen so much of that prior to this with Kate and Tony.**

"**Fallibility"**

It was a cold, crisp winter afternoon. Tony had enjoyed a leisurely morning at home, gone for a jog, and had just emerged from the shower when his cell phone rang. It was Gibbs.

_Uh-oh. _It was never good news when the boss called on a weekend. Still, considering they hadn't thoroughly wrapped up their most recent case, Tony sincerely hoped they weren't already about to jump knee deep into a new one. Abby was already so overwhelmed that she and McGee had gone into the office that day to finish processing the evidence from Petty Officer Lambert's murder. Nevertheless, he was reasonably certain his boss wasn't making a social call.

"Boss? What's up?" he inquired.

"DiNozzo," Gibbs' voice held an unusual tone of weariness. "Need you at the house. It's work-related. We're taking Karen Wilkerson into custody."

Tony was speechless. They'd thought they had the case all but solved with the previous day's arrest of Petty Officer Wilson, even though they were technically still processing the evidence from the cigarettes. Why were they now after the two men's supervisor? "Karen Wilkerson? I could just call McGee at the office to give me her address and I could meet you there…"

"No need. She's here. Need you to have Kate meet us at the office. And notify Lieutenant Cheney."

There was a long stretch of stunned silence during which DiNozzo started putting the pieces together. He'd noticed the attraction yesterday between Gibbs and Karen Wilkerson while they had been at Bethesda, even though she wasn't a redhead and, as Kate would say, didn't fit the profile. She had never been a serious suspect, though now Tony wondered regretfully if they'd been remiss. And if she was at Gibbs' house, then apparently they'd been engaging in _some _sort of extra-curricular activity. _There's no way the boss could've suspected her. Gibbs would never get involved with a suspect. Abby and McGee must've found something new. And told Gibbs while he was there with her._

The implications were enormous. No, not necessarily from a professional standpoint. Gibbs' job wasn't in jeopardy, of course. Despite his own joking assertions that Gibb's gut was infallible, he knew anyone could miss a suspect, especially when the evidence seemed to be pointing elsewhere. And hadn't he just recently had this discussion with his boss in the man's basement? The Lead Agent had been able to partially assuage Tony's doubts after the Jeffrey White case with the assertion that his own instincts were not always completely accurate. However, hearing it had been one thing; seeing the evidence of it was something else altogether. Something about seeing Gibbs' famous gut fail left him with a queasy feeling.

Of course, the other man would need the support of his most senior agent, particularly when the rest of the team put the pieces together. Oh, how he dreaded the moment Kate figured this one out. _Don't worry, Boss. I've got your six._

"I'll be right there."

* * *

Tony and Gibbs walked into the bullpen an hour later, accompanied by a much different Karen Wilkerson than the one they'd encountered over the past few days. In place of the sexy, charming woman was now a trapped wild animal, eyes darting left and right trying to identify some escape from her current predicament.

The three of them soon met with two pairs of demanding eyes. Both Kate and Lieutenant Cheney had been waiting in the bullpen very impatiently for the others to arrive with an explanation as to why they'd been called in on their day off about a case they thought was about to be put to bed.

"So are you finally going to tell us what's going on here?" Kate ordered. Tony had been evasive on the phone, something that had gotten her even more riled up.

Gibbs regarded her for a moment. "DiNozzo, please help Lieutenant Cheney escort Ms. Wilkerson to interrogation and fill him in. Then meet us down in Abby's lab. Kate, you're with me."

And without another word, he moved towards the elevator so swiftly, Kate actually broke into a jog to catch up with him before the elevator doors closed.

* * *

"Gibbs," Abby said with surprise, as McGee looked up in confusion. Then with even more surprise, she added, "Kate."

"W-what are you both doing here?" McGee stammered.

Their boss took a deep, calming breath and then launched into the explanation. "Got some new evidence for you to process, Abs." He pulled out a small Ziploc bag containing a cigarette butt and handed it to Abby.

She regarded it for a moment before making a realization. "It's a Llama. Gibbs, you found our chain smoker. But McGee, like, _just _called you an hour ago. I know you're good, but no one's that good. What gives?"

Kate, not having been present for the prior phone call and therefore oblivious to the new information was now transitioning from impatient to angry. "Is one of you going to explain to me what is going on here, or do I have to head slap it out of DiNozzo?"

"I don't think I'd try that if I were you, Kate…" Abby warned.

"Abs…"

"Sorry, Gibbs. Kate, we found out the cigarette butts you found at the crime scene were Llamas. Wilson and Wright both smoke Marlboros."

Kate began to understand. "So, neither of them is the killer."

"Well," Abby explained. "Not necessarily. It just means there was someone else smoking Llamas at the scene."

Kate turned to Gibbs. "So, obviously you figured out that Karen Wilkerson smokes Llamas." Abby and McGee both looked at their boss with interest. "I get that part. You questioned her a couple of times at Bethesda and could have easily seen what brand of cigarettes she smoked. What I don't get is how you got her to smoke one so you could get her DNA off of it. _And _had time to call DiNozzo, go pick her up, and then bring her back here. In an hour."

Tony walked into the lab at that moment, looking quite uncomfortable when he overheard Kate's line of questioning. But it wasn't his place to fill in the blanks. That task he deferred to their boss.

"She was with me when McGee called with the new information. I sort of tricked her into smoking the cigarette."

"Wait a minute," Kate said. "_With _you? Where?"

It was going to come out anyway once someone spoke with Karen Wilkerson. Gibbs knew it was best for him to be the one to come clean with his team. "At my house, Kate."

Everyone turned stunned eyes in Gibbs' direction, saving Tony who made a great effort _not _to look at the other man.

"At your _house?_" Kate asked incredulously. "As in, on a _date _or something?"

Having been patient up to this point, the Lead Agent's expression turned to one that made it perfectly clear he was finished discussing the matter. Looking at Kate and Tony, he directed, "Need you two down in interrogation in five minutes," and walked out.

There was an uncomfortable silence in the air as everyone took turns looking at each other, trying to find answers that weren't there. Predictably, it was Kate who broke the silence.

"Well, isn't _that _rich? After all the lectures he's given us about staying objective and not getting personally involved…"

"Kate…" Tony warned.

"Gibbs couldn't have had any idea she was involved. He wouldn't do that, Kate," Abby interjected.

"Well, no, Abby, he wouldn't do that on purpose. But what about that famous Gibbs gut that supposedly never gets it wrong? Guess it was overridden by another instinct."

Tony was starting to fume. Of course he knew Gibbs wasn't perfect. But he couldn't handle his teammates standing around questioning the Lead Agent's instincts behind his back, especially not with the disrespect he sensed in Kate's tone. Before he could step in, McGee's mouth started working again.

"Come to think of it, he _did _seem like he was flirting with her the couple of times we went to Bethesda. I mean, flirting for Gibbs I guess."

"He must've been so relieved when we found those cigarettes on Petty Officer Wilson yesterday. How far do you think he got with her before you called and burst his bubble, McGee?"

The Probie thought back to his call with his boss earlier. "You know, he was pretty mad that I was calling him. Abs, remember, I tried to hand you the phone?"

"_That's enough!" _Tony barked in a tone to rival that of Gibbs himself. All three of his teammates visibly jumped and stared back at him in amazement. Quieting the decibel level just a tad, he continued. "How many of _you _pegged Karen Wilkerson as a suspect? Huh? Kate? Cause I didn't hear _you _raising any suspicions about her or asking to dig into her background." No one dared answer. "Didn't think so. Kate, I believe we're needed in interrogation," he added coldly.

Giving her one last pointed look, he strode out of the room, Kate once again struggling to keep up.

* * *

They had all agreed to give Tony a shot at interrogating their suspect, feeling his less-threatening interrogation style may be more likely to get something out of her. And of course there was also the unspoken concern; namely, that it would not be appropriate for Gibbs to be any more intimately involved in investigating Karen Wilkerson than was absolutely necessary.

"Ms. Wilkerson," Tony started, introducing himself with his most charming smile. _She is a looker. Can't blame the Boss there. _"Anthony DiNozzo. We met briefly yesterday."

"Yes, when you arrested my employee I believe."

Tony's smile widened. _She might be tougher than she looks. _"So, Ms. Wilkerson. I'm sorry, can I call you Karen?"

"Whatever," she responded indifferently.

"Karen. Look, don't make this more difficult than it has to be. You know we found Llama cigarette butts at the scene of Petty Officer Lambert's murder. You smoke Llamas, don't you Karen?"

"Lots of people do."

"Yes, that's true of course. But only one has your DNA. And if the DNA on the cigarette you smoked this afternoon matches the DNA on the butts we found at the crime scene…well, you have to admit that looks kind of bad. So, where did you say you were the night of the murder again?"

"I didn't," she replied with a sardonic half-smile.

He leaned in. "Okay, so I'm going to ask you again. Where were you the night Petty Officer Lambert was killed?"

"At home."

"Can anyone verify that."

"No, I live alone."

Feigning disappointment, Tony commiserated, "Oh, that's really too bad. Cause you have no alibi, and we might be able to put you at the crime scene."

"What makes you think I don't just like to hang out at Rock Creek Park?"

_Smart woman. _She obviously knew they couldn't put her there at the time of the murder, and that was certainly problematic. "But see, the thing is, we'll be searching your apartment, your financial records, questioning your coworkers. What kinds of juicy secrets are we going to find, I wonder? Of course, you'd probably get a lighter sentence if you just chose to cooperate and tell us the truth." He leaned in again, "You know, Karen, I just don't see you as the prison type. And I've heard stories about those women's prisons. Pretty lady like you...it'd be such a shame."

He saw a flash of panic in her eyes and thought for a moment she was about to give in. Then, just as quickly, she shut down. "I'm not answering any more questions without my lawyer present."

And just like that the interrogation was over.

* * *

"We have enough to hold her until the DNA results come back, but we need more. We need to tie her to the murder. McGee, I want you all over her financial records. DiNozzo, get her phone records. Kate, get with Abby and see if you can track down the gun used to kill Petty Officer Lambert."

After divvying up the work, Gibbs left the room, as usual failing to announce his destination. Tony didn't think it mattered, really. As long as it was as far away from them as possible.

Kate looked after him suspiciously before feeling Tony's eyes on her. It would have been difficult to miss. They were practically boring a hole into her skull.

"I didn't say anything, Tony."

"You didn't have to, _Kate. _Just do us all a favor and keep what you're thinking to yourself."

_Like you aren't thinking it too, DiNozzo._

* * *

Gibbs had been missing for a couple of hours, no doubt at his favorite coffee shop trying to distance himself from the investigation. But now his three agents had dug up enough on Karen Wilkerson to build a pretty strong case, even if it was mostly circumstantial.

Tony took it upon himself to call and offer his boss the news.

"DiNozzo. You got something for me?"

"Yeah, Boss, we do," he responded with a touch of sadness. How he wished he could have found some good news, if only to take the burden off of Gibbs' shoulders that he knew the older man must be feeling.

"On my way."

"Did he say where he's been?" Kate asked with irritation.

"No, Kate, Gibbs isn't required to check in with me, in case you hadn't noticed. I work for _him_. So do you, by the way," Tony bit back.

"Are you ever going to admit he isn't perfect, Tony?"

He could feel the anger starting to bubble up again. "I never said he was. But his gut is still better than all of ours put together and I dare you to prove otherwise. In spite of this case."

She still wanted to argue, but it was pointless. And the situation wasn't Tony's fault, after all. If he wanted to hold on to what she perceived as his "hero worship" of Gibbs, well, who was she to tarnish the man's idol?

Gibbs walked in just a couple of minutes later with a gruff, "What've you got?"

Tony took the lead. If anyone was going to deliver the bad news, he'd rather it be him anyway.

"McGee traced Wilkerson's financial records. She has numerous accounts, but put together, she's recently accumulated about $200,000 not accounted for by her salary. And she made a sizeable withdrawal the day before Lambert was killed. Which brings us to what I found. Several calls on the same day as the withdrawal to this guy."

Tony pulled up a mug shot on the plasma. "Troy Riker. Ex-con, out on parole. Deposit showed up in his bank account in the same amount as Karen Wilkerson's withdrawal the day after Lambert was killed."

"You think she hired this guy to do the dirty work while she watched from a safe distance away."

"That's our current theory, Boss. Which brings us to the murder weapon. Troy Riker has a brother, Gary, who reported his gun stolen a few days ago. Of course, without it, we can't tell you if it's the murder weapon. But it's the same type of gun used to kill Lambert." Tony looked at Gibbs ruefully. "The pieces are coming together, Boss."

"These people weren't very good at covering their tracks, either," Kate offered.

"No, but I guess that fits the scenario. Karen Wilkerson probably never planned on killing anybody. She never thought we'd catch on that Lambert was alive and faked his death. When we started digging, she panicked. Figured we'd find him eventually and he'd turn her in." Tony knew it was probably true, but the feeble explanation for their suspect's behavior didn't change the fact that she was a murderer.

"We've got enough to keep her 'til the DNA results come back. Abby said it would be tomorrow at the earliest. Meanwhile, pick up Riker and see if you can find the murder weapon."

Looking around at the team, Gibbs added with uncharacteristic humility, "We should've considered Karen Wilkerson as a suspect sooner. That one's on me."

Seeing that no one had moved due to the shock inflicted by his rare "mea culpa", he returned to his usual demeanor. That was all they were getting out of him.

"Why are you still standing here? _Go!"_

* * *

It was now Sunday afternoon.

They'd found Riker and brought him in for questioning, but no trace of the murder weapon. However, the suspect's brother had been unintentionally helpful, informing them that his brother had been over for a visit a few days earlier. It had been the same day his gun was stolen.

The suspected shooter had seemed stunned that anything had been traced back to him, but was refusing to cooperate. For now. But both Tony and Gibbs sensed that it was just a matter of time before someone started talking.

But for the time being, they were all just waiting, and that was the most frustrating of all. Tony knew it had to be especially trying for his boss. Finally, he gave in to the impulse to call the other man, casually asking him if he wanted to go out for a beer. Gibbs had accepted, and Tony had gotten the strange feeling that his boss hadn't been at all surprised by the call.

They sat at the bar enjoying their beers when Gibbs asked, "So, you invite me here to try to make me feel better, DiNozzo?"

"About what?" Tony attempted to ask innocently. Seeing that Gibbs wasn't buying it, he gave in and replaced the prior question with, "Is it working?"

With a slight laugh, the older man responded, "Not really. Appreciate the effort, though."

Tony hesitantly looked down at his beer mug before making the next statement. "You know, Boss, I don't think any less of you."

Gibbs was filled with something he couldn't quite name at the show of unwavering support. But he kept his face impassive and simply said, "Wouldn't expect you to. I already told you I wasn't infallible."

"I'm really sorry about Karen Wilkerson, though. I know you liked her. I remember what that's like."

Gibbs knew Tony was recalling Melinda Stone, the undercover ATF agent they'd ended up arresting last year. "Kate was out of line with what she said to you that night."

Tony knew exactly what the other man meant, but was caught off guard. "I didn't think you heard that."

"I did. Just didn't think you'd appreciate me running after you. Especially in front of Kate." He thought of also telling Tony that he'd dealt with it, but realized Tony might not appreciate thinking his boss had been trying to fight his battles for him either. So he left it alone.

"You're right. Probably wouldn't have."

"You two get into it about me, Tony?"

The younger man looked guilty. "Why would you think that?"

"Her face has said plenty. She's enjoying the fact that I was wrong and she's rubbing your nose in it. Am I right so far?"

"Nothing I can't handle, Boss."

"Oh, I know that. Don't think I haven't seen you glaring at her," Gibbs said with a slight chuckle. "It's ok, Tony. As long as she doesn't forget I'm still in charge. And she won't."

With a grin of satisfaction, Tony added, "You won't let her."

Gibbs cell phone rang. "Abs…you got something for me?...Got it…Thanks."

"Boss?" Tony asked expectantly.

"DNA results are back. It's a match."

The news was expected, but still disappointing. No words were necessary between the two men. Gibbs had already accepted the reality and Tony was there providing his support.

Instead, they enjoyed another beer while Tony rattled on about football and basketball and movies and pretty much anything else that popped into his head. Meanwhile, Gibbs sat and listened in amused silence, thinking to himself how glad he was to _not _be at home alone working on his boat for a change.

Meanwhile, the murder weapon was being pulled out of a dumpster three blocks from Troy Riker's home.

And the next day, Riker predictably started singing like a canary. Cause if he was going down, he was bringing Karen Wilkerson with him.


	17. Chapter 17 - Strong, Silent Types

**Episode filler and tag for "The Meat Puzzle."**

**I had forgotten what a both delightfully funny and yet thoroughly creepy episode this one was!**

"**Strong, Silent Types"**

He always knew it was bad when he got a call in the middle of the night. But the call had never come from Agent McGee before.

"Probie, this better be life-alteringly urgent," Tony answered groggily. After spending the day babysitting Mrs. Mallard and her horde of Corgis, and the evening throwing back a few too many beers with his frat brother, and Kate's new boyfriend, Steve, he had practically passed out as soon as his head had hit the pillow. Which now seemed like such a short time ago.

"Ducky's missing."

The simple two-word statement was enough to render a previously dazed DiNozzo wide awake. _But how can Ducky be missing? He was under protection detail. Kate was…._

He felt his stomach drop before asking, "Is Kate ok?"

"She's fine, Tony." The older agent let out the breath he'd been holding in relief while McGee continued. "Well, except for beating herself up."

"I don't understand. How did this happen?" Tony was already getting dressed and grabbing his work gear as he spoke.

"Apparently Kate went outside to check on Mrs. Mallard and someone came through the other door and grabbed him. She feels terrible. Kate saw a van driving away but she was too late. Boss wants us at the house getting tire tracks and any other evidence we can."

After his day spent with Mrs. Mallard, Tony of all people understood how difficult it could be to keep track of an elderly woman with dementia. Still, Kate being Kate, knowing there was nothing she could have done still would provide little comfort, particularly concerning the endangerment of someone she knew. And someone they all cared about.

And he hesitated to even consider how Gibbs must be feeling right about now.

"I'm on my way, McGee."

* * *

When Tony arrived at the Mallard house, dawn was just starting to break. As he got out of the car, he noticed a lone seated figure on the front steps and knew immediately it was his boss. Gibbs was doing something very rare – nothing. As Tony approached, he wondered if the other man even realized he was there.

As if reading his thoughts, the Lead Agent looked up and caught the younger man's eyes. Fortunately, Tony had learned to read his boss fairly well without the need for conversation. As expected, he saw storm clouds of worry, guilt, remorse, and something that he was reasonably confident could be classified as rage.

Tony was feeling his own share of guilt. He'd been so eager to get out of there the evening before, but now found himself wondering why he didn't offer to stay and help Kate on the protection detail. He knew firsthand what a handful Ducky's mother was to keep track of. Protecting both of them was a two-person job, and if he'd thought of it sooner instead of how anxious he was to meet up with Steve and exchange more stories about his partner…

But they didn't have time for him to dwell on his remorse. Gibbs was closer to Ducky than any of them, and right now he knew his boss was relying on him to help them get the answers they needed to find his friend.

DiNozzo responded with the only words that came to mind under the current circumstances. "We'll find him, Boss." Then, knowing better than to expect a verbal response, he continued on into the house to find his colleagues and begin processing whatever evidence could be found.

Gibbs, however, lingered on the front steps trying to process the familiar feeling his agent's words had invoked. Suddenly the memory struck him. It had been when Tony himself had been missing last year that his friend, with his soothing tone and refined accent, had offered very similar words of comfort. "_You'll find him, Jethro." _

_Awww, Duck. I'll find you, too. You just hang on 'til I get there._

* * *

It didn't take Tony long to locate Kate once he'd entered the house. Or, perhaps more accurately, it didn't take him long to locate Mrs. Mallard, and subsequently locate Kate, who was currently being berated by the older woman.

"Now, listen here, Missy. I don't know what naughty scheme you and Donald have cooked up, but you tell my son to quit playing games and come home this instant!"

With a persecuted sigh, Kate repeated for probably the twentieth time, "Mrs. Mallard, as I told you, I'm a federal agent. There is absolutely nothing going on between myself and your son. We work together. I'm trying to find him for you, along with my other coworkers. But, please, we need you to help us by staying right here, and keeping the dogs…"

When she saw Tony, Mrs. Mallard's eyes became wide and she exclaimed, "Gigolo!"

Kate turned around and regarded Tony with an expression of disbelief as he replied with his most charming of smiles, "Yes, hello, Mrs. Mallard. You remember me, I see. And you've met my friend, Kate. That naughty girl. Listen, Mrs. Mallard, I will look for your son for you, but I need you to keep an eye on this one for me while I look, okay? Cause she's a sneaky one, alright. Can you do that, ma'am?" He knew it was mean. He also knew it would help keep Kate's mind occupied.

"_DiNozzo!"_

"I knew it! I knew she couldn't be trusted. I won't allow her out of my sight!" Mrs. Mallard declared as she glowered at the younger woman.

Kate attempted her most innocent smile but warned Tony under her breath as he was making his escape, "I _will _get you for this, DiNozzo."

He was almost out the door, but was compelled to quickly turn around and tease with a wink, "Now, Kate. Don't get your knickers in a twist," in reference to her first encounter with Mrs. Mallard earlier that day. But he was gone before Kate could get in an appropriately snarky reply.

Suddenly, the older woman took on a puzzled expression. "I'm sorry, my dear. Who did you say you were again?"

* * *

He found McGee trying to get fingerprints off the door, but the young agent soon determined there were none to be found. It came as no surprise to either of them.

"Tony?" the probie agent whispered uncertainly when he saw his more experienced teammate. "You don't think Ducky's…._dead…_do you?"

Ever since Tony had offered the rare words of praise to the probie agent a few weeks prior for standing up to the Deputy Secretary of State, his relationship with McGee had become somewhat warmer. Of course, he had his boss to thank for having planted that suggestion. The younger man had even become somewhat of a co-conspirator a few days ago when Tony had learned that Kate was dating his fraternity brother. He could have sworn McGee had been enjoying the situation almost as much as he was.

Now he was looking to Tony for some words of comfort, and while DiNozzo himself feared the worst about their colleague and friend, for the second time in the past hour, he found himself offering up words of assurance he wished he actually felt. "No, Probie, of course I don't think Ducky's dead. We're gonna find him."

Then, glancing out the window to where their boss stood, he grabbed the younger man's shoulders and offered an admonishment. "_Listen! _You make sure you don't let Gibbs hear you saying stuff like that, you hear? Or I'll head slap you into next year myself."

The Probie silently nodded his understanding. In spite of the threat, he felt an odd sort of comfort at Tony's words. He knew the other man had been in a lot of tight spots himself, and if he thought things were going to be okay, then maybe they really were. Besides, he had to admit that Tony had a knack for lightening up the toughest of situations, a talent he was on occasion learning to appreciate. Especially since he himself tended towards being a "glass half empty" kind of guy.

"Good," Tony replied to the affirmative gesture. "Let's go get those tire tracks. That might be the one thing here that'll help us find Ducky."

* * *

In a surprisingly Gibbs-like tone, DiNozzo entered the lab with a clipped, "What've you got, Abs?" He even came bearing a Caf-Pow.

It was the second time the forensic scientist had recently noted how similar her friend became to the older man during moments of stress. The first had been a few weeks ago when Tony had barked at his teammates with an uncharacteristic intensity for questioning Gibbs' instincts on the Karen Wilkerson case. She was beginning to wonder if the behavior was intentionally modeled after the older man, or if Tony had simply begun subconsciously absorbing some of the traits and mannerisms of the mentor he so looked up to. However, given the urgency of their current predicament, Abby decided to keep those observations to herself. For now.

Just about to tell him she hadn't yet matched the tire tracks, his colleague was stunned when the match appeared on her screen just at the moment DiNozzo had asked the question. Yet another striking similarity to the Lead Agent.

"Wow, Tony. I just got a match. You have impeccable timing."

With a smile and a tone of voice that could charm the scales off a rattlesnake, he responded, "I get that a lot."

Okay, maybe he wasn't _exactly _like his more outwardly humble superior.

Still smiling, Abby offered the information that could provide their first real break in determining their beloved colleague's location. "They're Uniroyal Laredos. Standard on Chevy Express cargo vans."

It was _something. _And right now it was about all they had.

"Thanks, Abs," he offered with an affectionate peck on the cheek. Another behavior that left the perky Goth shaking her head in amusement.

But Tony didn't notice because the moment he'd received the lead, he had rushed out of the lab to bring his boss their very first piece of good news of the morning.

* * *

Tony's good news had been the first of many small breaks that had ultimately led them to their coworker. And just in time, too.

A weak, shaken, but alive and grateful Ducky had been transported to the hospital by ambulance. He'd lost quite a bit of blood, but they had been assured that their friend would ultimately be fine. Tony knew that Gibbs wanted to go with his friend, but they had an obligation to process the scene and take in Mary Hanlan first.

Once Ms. Hanlan's brief but memorable statement had been taken, reports had been wrapped up, and his teammates had left for the evening, Tony had asked Gibbs if he was going to the hospital.

In return, he got a predictably silent answer. It was _that_ face. The one that told him he'd just asked a colossally stupid question. Well, of _course _Gibbs was on his way to the hospital. And without a word, Tony had gathered up his things and followed him.

Now, they were seated side-by-side in the waiting room of Bethesda, doing what you do in a hospital waiting room. Waiting. Together.

_Well, this is different, _Tony thought. The location, of course, was unfortunately quite familiar to both men. It was just that he was most used to being on the other side of the double doors, though once or twice he'd been seated in this room waiting for Gibbs, who'd been the one on the other side. But he didn't think he could recall a time that they'd both been sitting there in that room at the same time.

Tony knew he'd done the right thing by coming here to offer his boss support. It's just that now that they were here, he didn't know what he was supposed to _do._ One peculiarity he'd learned over time about Gibbs was that, unlike himself, talking about how he was feeling did _not _make the older man feel better. Or, at least Tony didn't think it did. Since the other man had never actually done such a thing to his knowledge, maybe that couldn't be proven for certain. But DiNozzo knew without a doubt that if he tried to get his boss talking, it would earn him a head slap at best. At worst, it might actually make his boss angry.

So they just sat there, with Tony occasionally sparing a glance to his right to check on his companion. Finally, a nurse came over to them. "Were you here for Mr. Mallard?"

Gibbs answered immediately, flashing his NCIS badge. "_Doctor _Mallard, and yes, I'm his coworker. He was injured on a case. Can we see him yet?"

"We gave Mr. Mallard a blood transfusion and we've finally got him in a room. I have to ask you to limit your visits, though, as he is very tired. If he's feeling better tomorrow, we should be able to release him, though."

Tony spoke the first words since they'd arrived. "You go, Boss. I'll wait here."

Gibbs started to follow the nurse to find out the location of Ducky's room when he suddenly remembered the ME's third visitor in the waiting room.

Jimmy Palmer had been seated very quietly several seats down from them. Other than a quick nod of acknowledgement, they hadn't spoken to Ducky's young assistant, who was obviously too uncomfortable to even come over and sit next to them. Now, however, Gibbs stopped and said, "Palmer?"

"Uh, _me? _Oh, no, Agent Gibbs, I think Doctor Mallard would rather see you. Could you just let him know I was here and, uh, just tell him I'm looking forward to seeing him when he gets back to work please? And I hope he feels better soon."

Gibbs smiled very slightly and nodded to his friend's awkward assistant before turning to follow the nurse.

Palmer stood up and prepared to leave when he was stopped by Tony's voice.

"Jimmy Palmer. You know, I forgot you were sitting over there." DiNozzo was watching the man he'd secretly nicknamed the "autopsy gremlin" curiously. Over a year ago, he'd sat in this very room after Ari Haswari had shot Ducky's last assistant, Gerald, and vowed to get to know the ME's next assistant better than he'd known the previous one. For the first time, it occurred to him that he'd failed miserably so far.

It was just that Palmer was so _odd. _ He still hadn't managed to really fit in with the rest of them, though he'd seemed to take quite a liking to Abby, something that Tony knew irked McGee more than just a little. He was nervous, sometimes stammered, but unlike the Probie, when nervous he just started talking and you didn't really know _what _inappropriate things were going to come out. _Sort of like me_, Tony now realized._ Except a lot more awkward. _

"That's ok, Agent DiNozzo. People forget about me all the time! It's sort of a special talent of mine, you could say," Jimmy offered with a nervous laugh. Palmer had heard lots of things about Tony DiNozzo, and while he hadn't spent much time around him, he was sort of in awe of the other man, as he was of Agent Gibbs.

Tony gave him a strange look, unsure of whether it would be considered polite or rude to laugh in response to the other man's assertion of invisibility. Instead, he quickly changed the subject. "You know that was a pretty incredible discovery you made about Vincent Hanlan's teeth being superglued to that body. It was a big break. I'm sure it'll make Ducky proud."

"Do you think so? I'm learning so much from Doctor Mallard."

Obviously, Ducky's opinion was of great importance to his assistant. It was clear Jimmy Palmer looked up to the elder ME. Though they'd been together a shorter period of time, Tony realized it wasn't unlike his own relationship with Gibbs.

Leaning in conspiratorially, Tony asked, "What's it like, listening to Ducky's stories all day?"

"Oh, it's fascinating," Palmer replied. Tony could tell he was serious. Yes, the other man was definitely a little odd. But there was something about him he really liked.

"Uh-huh." There was an uncomfortable silence, so Tony offered, " Well, it was really nice that you came and waited here 'til they put Ducky in a room and everything. I'm sure he'll appreciate it."

"I hope so, Agent DiNozzo. Sometimes I can't tell if he's pleased with me or annoyed with me though."

That was something Tony knew _all _about. He'd never forget his first few months on the job trying to adjust to Gibbs. Come to think of it, adjusting to Gibbs had taken a couple of _years. _

"I know what you mean. I've been with NCIS three years now, and I'm just now starting to name some of Gibbs' facial expressions."

"Really?"

As if right on cue, Gibbs arrived back in the waiting room and shot Tony a look.

"See what I mean, Palmer? He doesn't actually speak; he says it all in a look. The problem is figuring out what they all mean. This one, for instance," he said, nodding towards his boss.

"Yeah?"

"That either means 'thanks for being here' or 'what are you still doing here? Get your butt home and don't even think about being late tomorrow.'"

"I see," Palmer replied in total confusion.

"Exactly," Tony said, getting up to join the Lead Agent. Slapping Palmer on the knee, he added, "See you tomorrow, autopsy gremlin."

Jimmy sat in the waiting room and watched the two men leave together, noticing that neither of them uttered a single word.


	18. Chapter 18 - Carry On

**Filler and tag for "Witness."**

**While Gibbs makes an appearance or two in this one, it really focuses around Tony/McGee/Kate. This is one of my favorite McGee episodes, and, for me, the first time it feels like all three of Gibbs' team members really pull together. (Prior to this, it feels like it's always two of them against one, but this episode really had a team feel to it). Also, the first time we kind of see "big brother" Tony come out to support his favorite Probie.**

"**Carry On"**

As Tony and Gibbs exited the elusive Robert Thorne's apartment building, the younger agent paused and gazed over in the direction of the ambulance where his two more junior partners sat in apparent silence.

When they'd arrived at the scene of Erin Kendall's murder earlier that night, the three most senior agents had agreed between them that it would be Kate who would be tasked with "Probie-duty" while Gibbs and Tony processed the scene. The assignment of that particular task had never truly been in question. Without a doubt, Kate was the most sensitive and empathetic of the three, and the most likely to be able to draw anything out of a devastated Agent McGee. Now, however, as Tony took in the junior agent's still dazed expression and the sadness evident on the face of his female partner, it was clear that little progress had been made.

Kate excused herself to join her other teammates, though her companion scarcely noticed.

"How is he?" Gibbs asked in the typical gruff fashion that masked his true concern.

"Physically fine. No concussion."

"Does he remember anything about Erin Kendall's attacker?" Tony asked, his tone almost a mirror image of Gibbs' with just a touch more finesse.

"No," Kate responded with disappointment. "Unfortunately, nothing. He's too busy beating himself up."

Not one of the three more-experienced agents was unaware of what their youngest teammate was going through. Guilt and doubt were two things they'd all dealt with in the somewhat recent past, whether it had been a case of misjudging the character of a possible suspect or not being able to prevent some tragedy. Still, they all felt they were better-equipped to deal with such things than the still-innocent and eager young agent who was now the focus of their attention.

Tony broke the silence. "I'm not sure he should be alone tonight, Boss."

"I could call Abby. He might feel more comfortable talking to her," Kate offered.

"Abby can't help him, Kate," Gibbs stated with certainty, but both sets of eyes looked at him questioningly. So, he continued. "DiNozzo. Remember what I told you right after Suzanne McNeil blew herself up?"

Tony and the Lead Agent had an unspoken conversation before Gibbs walked towards his vehicle, offering one last comment on the matter over his shoulder. "Best thing we can do is our job. Expect you in early tomorrow, DiNozzo."

Kate lingered in order to continue the discussion with her partner, curiosity now overtaking the prior traces of concern in her features. "What's he talking about, Tony? What did he say to you that night?"

He had never expected to have to share this story with Kate, but it was relevant to their current situation. "You were sitting there with the same expression McGee's wearing right now. I told the boss we should do something."

His partner was touched. "You wanted to help me?"

"Yeah," he admitted reluctantly. "But Gibbs asked me a question. He asked me if I'd ever felt like I'd screwed up and if anyone could make me feel better. And I knew the answer was no."

That had been one of the worst nights of her life, and thinking back to it, Kate understood the truth in those words. "He was right. There's nothing you could've done. But the difference here is that McGee didn't make a mistake."

"Doesn't matter, Kate," Tony said, sparing another glance at the Probie, who still hadn't moved from his position. "In his mind, he did. And if he wants to be a federal agent, he's gotta learn to get past it on his own. And pretty darn quick, too."

"Why do you say that?"

"How long do you think Gibbs' patience is gonna last? Before he tells McGee to 'get over it' the way he told _you_ a few months ago?"

Looking over at McGee with a sigh, Kate answered, "I don't know if he can just do that, Tony. I mean, look at him."

"Yeah," Tony agreed. "I know what you mean."

Kate stifled a yawn and then made a very poor attempt at hiding a wince as she was painfully reminded of her toothache.

"Go home, Kate. You've got a dentist appointment to make in the morning, and if you cancel it again you'll never go."

"I know, Tony. I just hate to leave him."

"Don't worry about it. I'll make sure he gets home okay. Go."

"Thought you said he needed to get over it on his own," Kate teased with a knowing smile.

"I did. But that doesn't mean I can't follow him." With a wink to his partner, Tony added, "He'll never have to know."

* * *

Tony was getting nervous as the clock continued to tick. McGee was five minutes away from being late to work, and DiNozzo was clearly not the only one who'd noticed. Unfortunately, the probie agent's absence was felt even more acutely due to Kate's untimely dentist appointment, and Tony was the one feeling as if he'd been left holding the proverbial bag.

When he'd teased the Probie a few days prior about Gibbs testing him, he'd actually been mostly serious. He knew how their boss worked, and when the call had come in about Erin Kendall's questionable report to police about having witnessed a murder, and Gibbs had assigned Agent McGee to investigate _alone…._well, it had been crystal clear to Tony that the time had come. Gibbs wanted to gauge McGee's investigative skills, and more importantly, the younger man's "gut," now that he'd had several months of on-the-job training as a full-time member of the MCRT. While Kate had tried to soothe the junior agent's nerves by calling it a "show of confidence," Tony had felt it more prudent to call it what it was. And contrary to popular opinion, he wasn't trying to make McGee nervous. He simply wanted the younger man to take the test seriously.

There had been some tense moments when it had appeared that the young woman's report may have been bogus after all. So much so that Tony had felt compelled to remind his younger partner about their upcoming performance reviews. But to his great relief, McGee's gut had proven correct. Unfortunately, while he'd passed the initial test, he was now being hit with a far greater one, and much sooner into his tenure than DiNozzo would have liked. It was unlikely that Timmy would ever completely recover his former innocence after this case. Tony knew that was inevitable, but was saddened by it just the same.

That, however, was not his primary concern at the moment. The even more critical test in the eyes of their boss was how McGee handled adversity. Not as a man, but as an agent. Could he learn to put aside his personal feelings and get the job done? And right now, as Gibbs sent another pointed look in his direction, Tony feared that the younger man was failing.

"He'll be here, Boss."

"You try calling him yet?" Gibbs was aware of the concern for his younger partner that Tony was trying in vain to keep well-hidden. And he was proud. At one time, he hadn't been certain the two men would ever learn to be real partners. But now he was confident that if anyone could figure out a way to get McGee through this first real trial of his NCIS career, it would be DiNozzo.

Tony was trying desperately to find a way to respond without throwing McGee under that well-known bus. He _had _tried to call the younger man earlier under the guise of seeing if he wanted Tony to pick him up an extra coffee, but there had been no answer. And Tony really did _not _want to have to tell their boss that the other man had broken the rule about never being unreachable. On the other hand, lying to Gibbs would end very badly for _him_.

Just in time, McGee stepped off the elevator. "Good _morning, _Probie. About time you got here," Tony greeted with great emphasis.

But his coworker gave no acknowledgement that he'd even heard. He passed right by Tony's desk looking straight through everything in his path. He was no better than he'd been the night before, and obviously hadn't gotten any sleep either.

Wordlessly, Gibbs stood up from his desk, making his directive for Tony clear with just one look. He was leaving the two men alone for now, but he expected results upon his return. _Straighten him out, DiNozzo. Or I will._

Tony gave an almost imperceptible nod, indicating that he'd gotten the point.

_Now what am I gonna do? _Tony thought, as he continued to send anxious glances in the Probie's direction, all of which went apparently unnoticed.

Then he had an idea. There was one thing that just might snap McGee out of it.

_The need for justice. Or in this case, the desire for revenge._

* * *

"Are you gonna ask him?" Kate whispered as she and Tony knelt down to pick up the last remnants of carrots and peanuts off the floor, the only remaining evidence of their earlier good-natured food fight.

"I've got it, Kate. Don't worry. Just waiting for the right time," Tony whispered back.

"Well I hope you find it before he leaves," she whispered more loudly than before.

"Shhh," he warned. "You want it to seem spontaneous don't you?"

She rolled her eyes as Tony unexpectedly threw a peanut in her direction. "Stop that!" she almost squealed. "We called a truce!"

"We did? I don't seem to recall agreeing to that Ms. T…" Tony almost choked as Kate lobbed another peanut at him and it flew into his mouth. There was coughing, followed by a laugh he couldn't restrain any longer, followed by the sound of Kate giggling.

"I can hear you guys, you know," McGee interrupted tiredly, as he put the finishing touches on the note to Erin Kendall's parents. He'd expected his partners to give him a hard time about it, but instead they'd been surprisingly understanding. Still, he wanted to know what they currently had up their sleeves. "Ask me what, Tony?"

Embarrassed at having been caught, Tony uncomfortably answered, "Uh, well, Probie….Kate and I were talking earlier and it's been a tough case and we just wanted to..." he looked to Kate for support as she encouraged him forward with a frantic nod. "…invite you to dinner with us. Totally casual. There's this Mexican place we've been wanting to try and we thought it would be fun to blow off some steam. No Gibbs. What do you say, Probie?"

"I'm really not in the mood tonight, guys."

"That's exactly why you should come, McGee," Kate encouraged.

"Yeah, and if you don't, you know we'll never let you forget it," Tony warned.

_He's right, they won't, _McGee realized with dread. "Okay. But just for a few minutes," Tim conceded.

Tony and Kate, meanwhile, shared a sideways glance and a mischievous smile.

* * *

McGee had tried to get by with ordering a soda, but Tony had insisted on buying him a beer, while Kate was enjoying a Margarita. They were on their second plate of chips and salsa when Kate and Tony once again shared a knowing smile, this time observed by their guest.

"What are you guys up to? Seriously, I'm not really in the mood for one of your tricks tonight, guys. Please?" McGee pleaded.

"No tricks, Probie. Promise." Tony laughed. "We just want to play a game. Kate and I like to play it after we've had a really bad week at work. Right, Katie?"

His partner rolled her eyes at the use of the nickname, but assured McGee, "Really, Tim, it's fun. You'll like it."

Tim was still suspicious, but Kate seemed sincere. "What kind of game?"

"It's called…." Tony made a show of making a dramatic drum roll on the table. "If I Was Gibbs."

Kate snickered. "He made that up just now. It really doesn't have a name…."

"Shhh…" Tony interrupted. "It has one now." Becoming very serious, he looked McGee in the eye. "But before we play this game, the newcomer must take the sacred oath. Raise your right hand and repeat after me, Probie."

Now McGee was rolling his eyes. "Sacred oath?"

"Better go along with him, McGee. He'll drag this out all night," Kate prompted.

_Oh, sheesh. Why not? _"Fine," Tim answered, raising his hand.

"I, Timothy McGee, do solemnly swear to never repeat the contents of this game to anyone, including and especially to one Leroy Jethro Gibbs." Pausing a moment, Tony decided he'd better add, "Or to Abigail Sciuto. Under penalty of great bodily harm at the hands of Anthony DiNozzo."

The Probie came dangerously close to smiling as he was repeating the sacred oath, then asked, "So how does one play this game?"

Excitedly, Tony explained, "It's very simple. We take turns asking each other questions about Gibbs, and if you're asked a question, you have to pretend to be him and answer the question to the best of your ability."

McGee frowned,, "But Gibbs never answers questions about himself…"

"He's got a point, Tony," Kate observed.

Throwing her a slightly annoyed look, he countered, "That's why it's a game, _Kate. _We wouldn't need to play it if the man actually _told _us things, now would we?" Turning his attention back to McGee, he continued, "I'll allow Kate to ask the first question."

Smiling, Kate sat up. "Hmmm, okay, Tony. If you were Gibbs, who would that mysterious redhead be that's always picking you up?"

"Well, that's easy, Kate. Clearly, she's ex-wife #4. Because if I have enough money to build a boat in my basement, I'm not paying enough out in alimony yet. Probie, it's my turn to ask you a question."

McGee was looking slightly more relaxed, but looked at Tony in concentration. "Bring it on."

"Probie, if you were Gibbs, how would you get the boat out of your basement?"

The younger man was seriously considering the answer to the puzzle. "Well, I suppose you could dig a tunnel…."

"No, no, no, Probie. You're supposed to be _Gibbs. _Not yourself, Mr. MIT," DiNozzo scolded.

"Oh. Right. I would dig a tunnel."

"Hmmm….never really thought of that," Tony pondered.

"DiNozzo'd have to burn the rest of the house down," Kate teased. "Your turn to ask me a question, McGee."

The probie agent had a question ready immediately. "If you were Gibbs, would you say I passed the test?" he asked seriously.

Taken slightly by surprise, Kate looked over at Tony who gave her an unspoken sign of encouragement. "Yes, McGee, you passed. You worked through your personal feelings, gave us information critical to the case, and identified and caught our suspect. I'd say you passed with flying colors."

For the first time that evening, McGee allowed a genuine smile to pass over his features. The moment of seriousness was short-lived, as Tony took his turn again. "Kate, if you were Gibbs…." he stopped to think and rubbed his chin for effect. "How _old _would you be?"

"I would be…" Kate burst out laughing. "I have absolutely no idea."

"Yeah, me either," Tony admitted. "What do you think, Probie. How old is the boss?"

"Well if we knew how long he's been with NCIS, and then how long he was a Marine before that…."

"Yeah, good luck with finding that information, Agent McGee," Tony said with a smack to the younger man's shoulders.

"Hey, Tony, who's Ilya Kuryakin?" Kate asked out of the blue.

"What does Ilya Kuryakin have to do with Gibbs?"

"Nothing," she admitted. "I asked him a few weeks ago what Ducky looked like when he was younger and he said Ilya Kuryakin."

"He's the guy from 'The Man From U.N.C.L.E.,' Kate."

"The man from who?" McGee asked in confusion.

"Wow. You know, come to think of it, Ducky really kind of _does _look like Ilya Kuryakin…."

McGee looked to Kate for an explanation, but she simply shrugged.

"Who cuts Gibbs' hair?" McGee asked with a smirk.

"Anyone can cut Gibbs' hair, really. As long as they have a bowl handy," Tony deadpanned, causing Kate and McGee to both burst out laughing.

"Okay, I have one," Kate volunteered. "Where did the name Leroy Jethro Gibbs come from?"

"Obviously from parents with a sense of humor, Kate," Tony answered. "Hey, I just thought of something." McGee and Kate listened attentively. "Does Gibbs even _have _parents?"

"Everyone has parents, Tony," Kate answered.

"But Gibbs has never mentioned parents. Where did he come from? Where was he born?" Tony was seriously contemplating the questions. As much time as he'd spent with the other man, his boss had never mentioned his family or his own childhood before, and Tony's curiosity was peaked.

"You hardly ever talk about your parents either," McGee pointed out to Tony.

The older man was suddenly uncomfortable before finding a way of deflecting the attention back to Gibbs. "There is one question I would really like to know the answer to."

"Just one, Tony?" Kate teased. "What might that be?"

"How does the man _always _know when to sneak up behind me? It's like he has eyes and ears everywhere. Maybe he's not even human."

The head slap came out of nowhere. "You enjoying yourself, DiNozzo?"

Tony's mouth dropped open as Kate and McGee looked over at their boss in amazement. Gibbs had been watching his team with amusement from the bar, finally deciding to make his presence known just in time to hear Tony utter the ill-timed question.

"B-boss…Uh, I was just…" Tony struggled to come up with an answer.

"I know, DiNozzo. I know." Looking over at the face of McGee, looking more relaxed than he had in days and clearly enjoying his teammates' company for a change, the boss gave them a very clear order before going on about his business.

"Carry on."


	19. Chapter 19 - Pride

**Filler and tag for "Caught on Tape."**

**I thought Gibbs was disproportionately harsh with DiNozzo in this episode, so I came up with an alternate explanation here that we didn't really get from the show, but it fit in nicely with where I wanted to go with the tag.**

**And I just want to say "thank you" again to everyone who takes time to review, and also to the many who don't review but continue to read this series. I'm still having a great time writing these, and hope you are continuing to enjoy reading!**

"**Pride"**

Gibbs returned to the dimly-lit bullpen under the assumption that all of his agents had left for the evening, but one glance at the lone figure lingering near his desk told him otherwise. He could plainly see that Tony's posture was stiff and defensive, even if he couldn't yet see his face clearly enough to identify the emotion. Clearly the younger man was angry, but then again, so was he.

Under normal circumstances, when DiNozzo lingered after-hours to speak privately with his boss, he politely deferred to the older man to begin the conversation. On this particular evening he was not feeling so courteous.

"Clearly I've done something to offend you today. The problem is, I've been racking my brain and I can't seem to come up with what that is, exactly, so I guess for once you're gonna have to _talk _and spell it out for me," Tony spat out in a clipped tone.

It had been quite some time since his agent had been angry with him. But Leroy Jethro Gibbs wasn't about to back down. Getting less than two inches from Tony's face, Gibbs whispered threateningly, "Think harder."

Tony's eyes narrowed at the challenge. He honestly couldn't come up with anything he'd done that would make Gibbs _this _ticked off at him. Sure, he'd made the comment about the older man wearing Ben Gay lately. And yes, perhaps he had actually used the term "old man." But it wasn't like the Lead Agent to take a joke so personally. Not to the point that he'd made Tony clean up the interrogation room after a particularly nasty suspect had….well, he didn't even want to _think _about that anymore or he just might puke.

And the head slap a few minutes earlier in Abby's lab had been accompanied by an unusually serious threat that Tony needed to quit "blanking up," as his boss had so eloquently phrased it. But all he'd done was try to make out the words on a video taped conversation between two potential suspects. He hadn't said anything to his knowledge that was all that bad. In fact, he'd goofed around a whole lot more without even a head slap. So obviously he was still missing _something._

Sensing DiNozzo's bewilderment, the older man decided to offer him a clue. "Agent McGee? Poison ivy? Is this starting to ring any bells, DiNozzo?"

The light of realization began to spread across Tony's face. "You think that was on _purpose?_"

The surprise on the younger agent's face was genuine, and Gibbs began to reevaluate his thinking. Was it possible he'd made a false assumption? "You tell me. I send the two of you off to Shenandoah together, he comes back with poison ivy and you don't. That goes beyond hazing, DiNozzo, and you know it."

The anger remained on Tony's face, but now it was mixed with both hurt and disbelief. "So you just _assumed. _Well allow me to enlighten you. I tried to tell your poor, innocent, put-upon Probie about the poison ivy, but since Mr. MIT knows _everything_, he wouldn't let me. So I decided to let him learn a lesson the hard way. A tactic I learned from you, by the way."

Gibbs studied his agent for another long moment eye-to-eye before realizing the younger man was telling him the truth. With a brief nod, he backed away to a more comfortable, and less confrontational, distance. It was the closest to an apology that Tony was going to receive.

"So he didn't believe you or…" Gibbs prodded in a far gentler tone than before.

"Or, he didn't even give me the chance to get the words out. He pretty much interrupted me and let me know he didn't think he needed any words of advice or teaching from _me,_" Tony offered with a humorless laugh. "If it had been the first time, maybe I'd have tried harder. But it's becoming a habit, Boss."

The Lead Agent rubbed a hand over his eyes and sat down, preparing to get to the bottom of whatever new issue had sprung up between his two male agents. Or, perhaps more accurately, the stubborn _old_ issues that refused to go away. "What do you mean by 'habit?'"

Responding to his boss' body language, Tony made himself more comfortable by leaning back on his desk and folding his arms. "I mean that anytime I try to tell him anything, explain what an acronym means, give him advice on how to deal with a new situation, he interrupts me and lets me know in no uncertain terms that he doesn't need or want my help. And when I confronted him a few days ago, he flat-out admitted that the only time he'd come to me if he had a question would be to ask where he could find either you or Kate."

This earned a frown from the older man. "That could be dangerous in the field, DiNozzo."

"Yeah, Boss, that's exactly my point. It's why I let him do things his way. I just didn't think he'd react so…_spectacularly…_to the poison ivy. I'm itching just looking at him. Mine wasn't anywhere near that bad."

Gibbs allowed himself a fond smile at the memory. "Maybe not, but the message still got across."

"You mean the one about not letting myself get distracted when processing evidence at a crime scene? I'd say that's one I haven't forgotten. I'm surprised you didn't make it into a new rule." Tony had still been new to Gibbs' team and trying desperately to impress a lovely blonde witness he had wanted to interview. Instead, his boss had given the task to Blackadder, so Tony had resorted to showing off in an attempt to get the young woman's attention. He'd wondered why no one from the local law enforcement team that had initially responded had yet examined the evidence that was buried a few feet away in the greenery, but it had given him a wonderful opportunity to play the hero. Making a dramatic show of "finding" the uncovered evidence, he'd charged straight through the bushes without closely examining the area. And Gibbs had just stood there and watched him do it.

"The thing is, though," Tony continued, "I've never disrespected you. I _do _listen to what you tell me, even when it seems like I'm not. McGee does the exact opposite of whatever I tell him."

"McGee's not you." Raising his eyebrows and catching Tony's eye, Gibbs playfully added, "And you're definitely not me."

"I happen to enjoy having a sense of humor," Tony defended. Seeing the beginnings of a glare forming in the other man's features, he clarified, "Not that you don't, Boss. Yours is just…_different._ And believe it or not, I do realize some of this is my fault. But I'd never do anything to put the Probie in danger. I'm trying to help. You know, for once he actually listened to me on something after Erin Kendall was murdered. I thought we were getting somewhere, but now we're right back where we started."

"If you wanna be recognized as the Senior Field Agent on this team, DiNozzo, you're gonna have to fix that."

"How? Even with the poison ivy, I'm not sure anything's getting through."

"You're gonna have to figure that one out on your own, DiNozzo. And before you think about arguing with me, just remember - I already had to figure _you _out. With no help from you."

"Hey!" Tony squealed, feigning hurt feelings. "I'm a simple guy, really, Boss."

But Gibbs' expression said otherwise.

Dropping his case, Tony asked, "Could you at least steer me in the right direction?"

"Make him take you seriously. By actually being serious."

_I was afraid it would be something like that. _

After a moment of contemplation, Tony replied, "Thanks, Boss. But next time, could you maybe _ask _me what happened instead of demoting me to janitor?"

Gibbs responded with a soft half-smile, and if Tony hadn't known the older man better, he may have sworn he saw just the slightest hint of remorse.

* * *

It had been over a day since his brush with the poison ivy, and Tim McGee was still thoroughly miserable from head to toe. _At least the case is over. Maybe we can all leave on time today for a change, _he thought hopefully as he got off the elevator.

The moment he entered the bullpen, he heard it, but couldn't quite believe his ears _or _his eyes. There was a tiny, mangy dog behind Kate's desk, and it was growling viciously at him. McGee _hated _dogs and had since childhood. Kate and Abby, however, thought it was the funniest and most adorable thing _ever._

"McGee!" Abby scolded. "I think she's afraid of your rash…"

"Well that's just great, Abby, but what am I supposed to do about it?" he asked grumpily.

Kate picked up the dog affectionately. "It's okay, Toni. McGee's not gonna hurt you."

"I thought you said it was a female dog," Tim pointed out. "Her name is Tony?"

"She yappy and annoying, even if she is kind of cute. I thought it was appropriate," Kate smugly responded with a smile in the direction of her decidedly _not _amused partner.

"Figures," McGee grumbled as he wandered over towards his desk.

This made Toni start barking rather loudly, attracting notice from the entire bullpen. Kate could feel her boss' eyes on her.

"You know, Gibbs, maybe I should take her home."

"I think that would be a good idea," the Lead Agent responded, his patience with the pup wearing thin.

When Kate and Abby cleared the room, Gibbs abruptly announced that he had a meeting in MTAC, and Tony found himself alone in the bullpen with a very grouchy and uncomfortable Probie. Try as he might, McGee couldn't quite keep himself from scratching.

"Keep that up, Probie, and you're gonna get an infection," Tony advised.

"Can't you just mind your own business for once?" McGee barked back.

"It seems to me that that's the attitude that got you into this mess to begin with," DiNozzo replied petulantly.

"And I suppose I'm gonna be hearing about it for the rest of my NCIS career. Next you're going to tell me, what, all about what to do for poison ivy cause you learned all about it in one of your stupid phys ed classes?"

Tony was no longer able to hold in his temper. Standing up, he informed the younger agent, more loudly than necessary, "No, I _could _tell you what to do for poison ivy because I've had it before myself. But you wouldn't listen anyway, would you? Because you obviously think I'm stupid. Well let me tell you something, McGenius. I don't have a fancy degree from MIT, but I have something you don't and it's called _life. _I've lived more of it than you have, and I've lived a lot more of it as a cop than you have, and if you were as smart as you _think _you are, you'd shut up every now and then and realize that you still have a few things to learn. And maybe there are a couple of things you could even learn from stupid jock Anthony DiNozzo."

McGee was stunned by the tirade, having never felt the brunt of Tony's anger before. All he could get to come out was a clumsily stammered, "I – I don't think you're stupid. I just don't know when to trust you."

The Probie appeared genuinely frightened and the older agent felt a surge of guilt. He knew he could've handled that _so _much better, and he was also reasonably certain that when Gibbs suggested being serious, he hadn't meant for Tony to go off on the younger man in the middle of the bullpen.

Tony ran his hands through his hair in frustration, then abruptly opened his desk drawer and took out a bottle of something. He marched it over to McGee's desk but stopped suddenly when he noticed the younger man's eyes had widened in fear and he'd quickly scooted his chair backwards as Tony had gotten closer.

"I'm not gonna _hit_ you, McGee," Tony said incredulously.

The younger man relaxed slightly, but still eyed him with suspicion.

With a calculated effort, DiNozzo slowly set the bottle down in front of the other man. "Try this."

"Vinegar?" McGee asked hesitantly.

"Apple cider vinegar. It helped when I had poison ivy. If you can find baking soda around here, I've heard you can mix them together to make a paste. If not, just the vinegar should help until you get home."

As Tony walked back to his desk, McGee, feeling slightly bolder, asked, "You keep a bottle of apple cider vinegar in your desk?"

Taking a deep breath and praying for patience, DiNozzo answered, "No. I brought it in this morning. I've had it in my desk all day, but I wasn't sure if I _should _or even _wanted _to try to help you anymore. Or if you'd even take it from me."

McGee debated for a moment, but in desperation got up and grabbed the bottle, going in the direction of the men's head.

"You're welcome, Probie," Tony said sarcastically.

"Thanks," the younger man reluctantly mumbled.

Once alone, Tony buried his head in his hands.

He couldn't decide whether things between himself and McGee had just gotten better, worse, or maybe more than likely just a little bit of both. But one thing was for certain - things were very complicated.

And that wasn't likely to change soon. If ever.


	20. Chapter 20 - Labels

**Filler and tag for "Pop Life." **

**This whole story is based on what the episode treated as sort of a throwaway line from Ducky, but one I've always thought to be an insightful observation.**

"**Labels"**

"Uh….hey, Dad," Tony uttered awkwardly to his father's voice mail, all the while thinking about how much he _hated _the adolescent tone he inevitably heard in his voice whenever speaking with the elder DiNozzo. For some reason, he felt it necessary to add, "It's me, Junior." _Well, no kidding, Einstein. Who else calls him Dad?...Then again for all I know maybe someone else _does _call him Dad…_ "Uh, I'm sure you're busy. Probably on some business trip. Maybe not even in the U.S. Anyway, it's not an emergency or anything. It's just that…" _Just that what, DiNozzo? I called cause I panicked this morning after my colleague suggested I was so desperate for a father figure that he thinks I'm trying to replace you with my boss, a man I'm quite certain isn't exactly volunteering to take on the position. _"Well, you know, it's just that I haven't talked to you in a while and I thought maybe we could…catch up sometime. No hurry though. Um, just call me sometime whenever you get the chance." _Maybe he doesn't even still have my number. _"I'm sure you have my cell phone number, and it's on your caller id and all. But just in case, it's 555-595-7034. Hope you're doing well and, uh, say hello to…." _Uh-oh. I don't even know if he and Helen are still together…_ "everyone." _Well that was lame. Like there are a bunch of other family members just holding their breath waiting to hear from me. _"Bye….Dad."

Letting out a long-held breath, Tony hung up his cell and tossed it across the couch in frustration. What was he doing? One well-intentioned observation that both Ducky and Kate had likely forgotten all about by now, and he was running back to Daddy?

Nevertheless, he had been deeply disturbed all day by the comment. As a result, he'd been hypersensitive for most of the day, analyzing his every interaction with his boss. Was he striving too hard for the other man's approval, above and beyond what is expected of a subordinate employee? Was he too compliant? Too eager to obey? Did he cross the line at any point, treating Gibbs with an inappropriate degree of familiarity?

He'd found himself studying his other coworkers. What did _they _think? The same thing as Ducky? Was his constant competition with Kate and McGee founded on some unspoken need to be the favorite? He remembered past instances of jealousy, particularly towards McGee. When the younger agent had first started, Gibbs had given him several open displays of approval and encouragement, and Tony had been undoubtedly jealous, craving that kind of affirmation and approval from the other man, something he was convinced he'd never received from him, even as a new agent on the team.

In a word, he'd been paranoid all day. And as he was now ruefully recalling his own strange behavior, he was realizing with increasing embarrassment that he'd turned into a complete head case of the "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" variety. One minute, he'd been his usual self. Then, he'd catch himself doing something that might be interpreted the wrong way, and quickly backed off. He wasn't certain that his other coworkers had caught on, but one thing was a certainty. Gibbs _always _knew when something was off, particularly when it was off with him.

His thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of his phone. Digging between the cushions where the phone had fallen, he fished out the phone and glanced at the screen. Nope, not his dad. Truthfully, he could have guessed that. He didn't expect to hear from the man for several days, if at all.

In fact, he knew who was calling before he even checked. Sure enough, it was Gibbs.

* * *

Leroy Jethro Gibbs had always hated phones. The reasons were obvious. Phones require words, minus the benefit of facial expressions. He was great with the latter, but an almost complete failure with the former. Therefore, he avoided them until the use of one became an absolute and indisputable necessity.

Yet, here he was actually trying to come up with an _excuse _to call his agent. _DiNozzo, what are you doing to me?_

But Tony's behavior that day had been so inexplicably bizarre. His team had spent most of their day researching the victim and their only current suspect in the Manda King murder case. That generally meant he could expect to see his agents falling over each other, and practically stampeding each other in some instances, in order to be the first to give him valuable information in the case. And Tony, with his competitive nature and sharp investigative skills, could usually be counted on to lead the contest. Today, however, he'd been almost subdued.

He'd seen the younger man subdued before, generally out of either some underlying anger or personal issues. But he was almost certain there was nothing like that going on today. It had been more like Tony was forcefully restraining himself, fighting to _appear _indifferent. But for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why. Which was why he was currently calling the younger man with what he knew was a pretty flimsy excuse.

The phone had rung three times already, and Gibbs was wondering if Tony was just about to break one of his rules, when finally his agent answered. Instead, of the usual, "Hey, Boss," he simply got a guarded, "Hello?"

"DiNozzo. Hope I'm not interrupting something."

"Oh, hey, Boss," Tony said casually, in a clear effort to sound nonchalant. "Uh, no. Did something happen with the case?"

"Not exactly. What do you think about Willie Taylor's story?"

_He's calling me after-hours to ask me this? Definitely calling to check up on me. _"Actually, I kind of believed him. But shouldn't you be asking Abby? Since she's the one who can run a DNA test."

_Knew it was flimsy. _"I'm gonna have her run the DNA first thing in the morning. Just wanted to get your take."

He was met with an awkward silence, before DiNozzo finally asked, "Anything else, Boss?"

It was all the confirmation he needed that something was off with the other man. Under regular circumstances, Tony wouldn't pass up the opportunity to either offer his opinion or tease his boss about calling to check up on him with a really dumb excuse. "Everything ok, Tony?"

"Fine. Why wouldn't it be?" There was absolutely _no_ way he was sharing Ducky's "father figure" comment with Gibbs. No matter how guilty he felt right now for making the older man think something was wrong.

Gibbs knew better than to push too hard. Whatever was going on, he'd gotten too far in breaking down Tony's barriers to risk making a misstep now. He'd get to the bottom of this eventually. Just not tonight. "Okay, Tony. I'll see you in the morning."

If Tony wasn't going to share whatever was going through his head, the Lead Agent was just going to have to do what he did best. Investigate.

* * *

"Jethro…" Ducky said in surprise, with just a touch of irritation. "If you're here to inquire after further information regarding Ms. King, I'm afraid I have nothing new to note since we spoke this morning…"

"Not here about the autopsy, Duck," Gibbs responded with a grin. He knew his friend didn't appreciate being rushed, though he'd been guilty of doing just that to his ME on numerous occasions in the past. He couldn't blame the other man for the assumption.

"Oh. I do apologize then," Ducky responded in a conciliatory tone. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

"I heard a rumor you might be 'counseling' my agents." Gibbs knew if he'd listened and observed closely enough, he'd most likely obtain some clue about Tony's recent strange demeanor. Sure enough, Kate and DiNozzo had been bickering earlier, and the agent in question had pulled out his PDA to make notes for some future meeting with the ME. What Gibbs needed from Ducky was some indication as to how all this related to himself.

The doctor chuckled. "Ahh, so Caitlin and Anthony are still at odds I take it."

"Are Kate and Tony ever _not _at odds?"

"Mmmm, yes, an excellent point. But I'm still uncertain as to what precisely you are asking of me."

Dr. Mallard always saw right through him. "DiNozzo's been acting funny since yesterday. Thought you might know something about that."

Ducky frowned, recalling the details of their conversation from the previous morning. "I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific, Jethro."

"Seems like he's been keeping his distance from me."

The light bulb went off in the older man's head as he realized the explanation for Agent DiNozzo's behavior. It had very little to do with Kate, and likely everything to do with his reference to Gibbs as a father figure. "I see. Jethro, I'm afraid you've put me in a delicate position."

"How so?"

"Well, I'm afraid I don't feel comfortable revealing what Anthony and I may have discussed in confidence. It isn't relevant to the case, and I suspect he wouldn't appreciate me sharing details of a private conversation, particularly with you."

Now Gibbs was annoyed. "What's that supposed to mean, Duck?"

With a slightly exasperated sigh, the older man answered, "I would like for Anthony to continue to feel he can trust me. If I share the details of our private conversations with you, he is not likely to continue to do so."

Ducky was right. Gibbs was still annoyed. "What do you suggest I do?"

"Nothing, Jethro. There are times when the most appropriate response is to simply allow the other person to work things out for themselves."

Dr. Mallard watched his friend leave autopsy in frustration, knowing that answer wasn't going to be enough.

* * *

"I can't believe you're sending me undercover with DiNozzo again. I think you enjoy torturing me," Kate teased, as she was being fitted with her glasses. Though she pretended otherwise, Gibbs had come to believe that Agent Todd enjoyed the occasional undercover assignment almost as much as Tony.

"Can't really send DiNozzo undercover to a nightclub with Agent McGee as his date, can I?" Gibbs teased back.

"I suppose not. I don't really see McGee fitting in at Teaz too well. But I could be wrong about that. McGee did seem to know all about the club and the hot dancers there. Can you imagine the look on Tony's face if you'd sent McGee instead of him?" Kate laughed.

"Would've given you more notes to take to your meeting with Ducky," Gibbs observed slyly. If he couldn't get the info out of Ducky, he felt somewhat confident he could get it from Kate. He felt a little sneaky, but Tony _had _been the one to bring the whole thing up in front of him earlier.

"We're just teasing about that, Gibbs. We aren't _really _planning to go to Ducky for counseling," Kate explained, embarrassed.

"How did that even get started?" the Lead Agent asked, trying his best to make the inquiry sound like casual curiosity.

Kate laughed nervously. "Tony ate my sandwich and I was mad, I guess. I was kind of fed up and suggested we go to Ducky to mediate."

"Did it help?" Gibbs smirked.

Now Kate laughed out loud. "No, I think it made things worse. He came up with this ridiculous explanation about Tony and I have some weird sexually charged kind of sibling rivalry and trying to please a father figure…" she stopped abruptly as she realized who she was talking to. She quickly explained, "I mean, we both _insisted_ there was no father figure. Like I said, the whole thing was ridiculous. Tony and I taking notes – it's just a game. Really, there's no problem." Kate noticed Gibbs had sort of zoned out on her, a highly unusual occurrence.

Just then Tony came in wearing his glasses. In a very businesslike tone, he told both the other agents, "I'm all set whenever Kate's ready."

Gibbs quickly recovered, turning his attention back to the undercover mission at hand. It wouldn't do to allow Tony to notice anything different in his demeanor.

Even if he'd been every bit as thrown by the comment as Tony had been the day before.

* * *

Gibbs used his woodworking hobby for many purposes. To think, to vent frustration, to work out particularly challenging cases in his head. Tonight, it had initially been to unwind after sending Kate and Tony into the club undercover. His agents had had a slightly tense confrontation with three of Hitch's men. Fortunately, Kate and Tony had kept their cool and managed to maintain their covers, but Gibbs always found himself tense after sending his agents into potentially dangerous situation, however skilled or well-prepared they may be.

After a while, his thoughts turned to his earlier conversation with Kate. There was no doubt in his mind that he now knew what had Tony so unsettled. The word "father" held some very complex connotations for the younger man, most of them not so good. The comparison of Gibbs with his father, even though it was not necessarily intended as such, must have given Tony pause.

The Lead Agent wasn't feeling too comfortable with the idea himself. He'd certainly never intended to be a father figure to the younger man, and the idea made him feel as if he was somehow betraying Kelly. And he wondered if Tony wasn't feeling as if he'd betrayed his own father. The man admittedly hadn't been much of a father, but his existence couldn't be denied and neither could Tony's feelings for the him, deserved or not.

But if he couldn't be considered a father figure to Tony, what _was _their relationship exactly? It was certainly more than boss and subordinate – they'd crossed that line quite some time ago. Yes, it could be described as a mentor/student relationship, but it had become far more personal than that as well. Friendship? Perhaps, in a way. But not along the lines of his relationships with Ducky or Tobias Fornell. There was the matter of Gibbs' position of authority over the younger man to consider, combined with the age difference between them. And there was the way Tony looked up to him. And the undeniable protectiveness that had always been present in himself towards the other man. It was different than any friendship he'd ever experienced.

He was at a loss as to what to call it. And Tony was likely having the same problem.

But whatever it was, he wasn't about to let it slip away over a stupid label.

* * *

_Of all the times for my father to pick to call me back…._Tony was stuck in the sedan with Gibbs, Kate, and Samantha King, who they'd just taken into custody, when his phone rang and he saw "Dad" flashing across the caller id. He allowed it to continue to ring as he waged an internal battle with himself…_I can't talk to my father here…I'd rather no one even know he's calling me…But if I don't answer it might be months before I hear from him again…Not to mention how annoyed Gibbs is getting…._

"Answer it or silence it, DiNozzo," his boss growled impatiently, having no idea who was on the other end of the line.

Slowly Tony put the phone to his ear and answered, as quietly as possible, with, "Dad, this really isn't a good time. Can I call you back in 20 minutes?"

Not quietly enough, it seemed, as he saw Gibbs and Kate both unable to hide the startled stares they sent in his direction. But, instead of his father, he was greeted with a rather unpleasant and impatient female voice.

"This isn't Tony, this is Linda, his assistant. Your father is in Spain on a very important business trip but he asked me to call you to find out if it's an emergency. Cause he's going to be out of the country for a while."

_Assistant. Yeah, right. _"Oh, uh, hello Linda. I apologize. That's ok. Tell him there's no rush. It really wasn't important, anyway."

"I'll be sure to tell him that. And to send him your love." The lovely Linda decided to abruptly end their introductory conversation at that. Tony held the phone to his ear for a few seconds longer than necessary.

Rather than make it obvious that his father's new girlfriend had just dismissed him, he continued talking. "Well, thank you very much, Linda. Please give Dad my best and let him know we'll talk soon. And I look forward to meeting you next time Dad and I see each other. Have a great time in Spain."

Kate at least had the good sense to try to appear as if she wasn't listening, though Tony knew she'd heard every word. But she wouldn't bring it up. She at least knew him well enough now to know that some things were off-limits unless he brought them up.

But Gibbs, who knew him even better, would most certainly be bringing it up.

And he'd better start thinking up an explanation.

* * *

Just as expected, Gibbs had waited until they were alone. Tony had even tried leaving before Kate so the older man wouldn't have an opportunity to ask any questions, but he would swear his boss gave him extra work to do for no other reason than to keep him there.

"So, when's the last time to spoke to your father?" Gibbs asked conversationally.

_Here we go. _"Christmas," Tony answered quickly.

Something about that answer didn't sound right to Gibbs. Tony had worked Christmas and hadn't said a thing about talking to his father. "Couple of months ago, then?"

It was no use lying to Gibbs. He would know. He _always _knew. "Last Christmas. 2003."

Over a year ago. That was more consistent with what the Lead Agent knew about the man's relationship with his son. "This the first time you've tried calling him since then?"

"What if it is?" Tony asked defensively. He didn't owe Gibbs an explanation anyway. The man wasn't his….he left that thought hanging.

"Just wondering, Tony. You seemed embarrassed about it earlier. Nothing wrong with wanting to talk to your dad," the older man assured. He had to ignore the voice of his conscience, which was currently informing him as to how long it had been since he'd spoken with his _own _father, telling the irritating voice that it was irrelevant and that this was about Tony and not about himself.

"I just called him to catch up. But I guess he's really busy_._ It can wait. It wasn't a big deal," Tony justified, more to himself than to his boss.

"It's always important if it involves your kid," Gibbs answered definitively.

Tony wondered what Gibbs knew on the subject. But, then again, this was the man who had a rule about never being unreachable. And he made Tony adhere to it very strictly. Come to think of it, Gibbs adhered to it pretty strictly himself. The older man almost always answered when he called, and on the rare occasion he didn't, always called right back. It was a thought that gave Tony an inexplicable feeling of comfort and reassurance. A feeling he'd always looked to his father for but had never received from him.

Not when his mother had died. Not when he'd broken his leg. Certainly not when he'd decided to become a cop. And when he remembered more recent events, he realized Gibbs had been the one providing the comfort and the reassurance for quite some time now. Because he was always there – no need to wonder if he could find the man when he was needed. Or if the other man would respond, because he always did, and Tony had learned he could take at least that much for granted.

And if neither he or Gibbs minded that the Lead Agent had begun to fill that role in his life, then why did it matter what someone else chose to call it? No, Gibbs wasn't his father. But if Gibbs was willing to do what his own father wasn't, they could call it whatever they liked. A simple word wasn't going to make it any more or less than what it was.

Tony finally relaxed. "Night, Boss," he said with a smile of gratitude.

"Night, Tony," Gibbs responded in relief. He wasn't sure what had just happened, but suddenly things were back to normal. And as long as Tony was comfortable with the way things were, then so was he.

It seemed Tony had worked it all out for himself this time. _Just like Ducky said. _


	21. Chapter 21 - Following the Leader

**Filler and tag for "An Eye for An Eye" (including the missing scene we later saw in "A Man Walks Into a Bar").**

**One of the reasons I believe Tony isn't officially recognized as Senior Field Agent until Gibbs makes his first reference to it in "Red Cell" (just a few episodes after this one) is Kate's attitude in the episode. She and Tony are not on the same page at all in regard to his place in the chain-of-command, and in my version of the NCIS universe, I think the events of this episode directly tie into the eventual recognition by Gibbs of Tony (publicly) as the Senior Field Agent. **

"**Following the Leader"**

"You make your decision yet, DiNozzo?"

Seeking a private place to speak with his boss, Tony had tracked him down and met him as he'd exited the Director's office. "Yes, Boss. Can we meet in the conference room?"

Gibbs had expected a one- or two-word answer to his question, but it was apparent that his agent had something more complicated on his mind. "Sure, Tony."

They walked in to the room, Gibbs taking a seat at the head of the table as Tony took his place in the chair to his boss' right. "What's on your mind?" the Lead Agent asked.

"McGee really wants to go to Paraguay, but I think Kate is the best choice for this mission. I need someone more experienced for backup. We have no idea what we might be walking into down there."

"Agreed. Why do I get the feeling there's a 'but'?" Gibbs sensed that Tony was troubled by something, even though they both felt comfortable that he'd made the best choice.

"Cause there is…." Tony answered without surprise at the fact that the older man sensed a problem. "Boss, you know I've really been working my butt off lately."

Gibbs smiled. Of course he'd noticed. To the amazement of both Kate and McGee, DiNozzo had been the one to obtain most of the information on their current case. And while Kate assumed her partner's recent tiredness to be connected to excessive partying, their boss was aware that Tony had been putting in extra hours. "Noticed, DiNozzo," he affirmed. In fact, he'd tried to praise Tony more openly in the past few days to let him know his extra efforts were appreciated.

"Thanks, Boss. But I have a concern about Kate. We're going down there alone, and to tell you the truth, I'm a little worried. She doesn't respect me."

Gibbs' eyes narrowed. "Why do you think that?"

"You mean aside from the usual?" Tony asked dryly, causing Gibbs to smirk in understanding. "Since you've praised my work a couple of times lately, she's accused me of brown-nosing and she's been desperately trying to compete with me for your attention."

This caused his boss to raise his eyebrows, still amused, "Gee, DiNozzo. That sort of sounds like someone else I know."

_He's got me there. _Tony knew he often reacted exactly the same way, especially where Agent McGee was concerned. "Okay, granted, I'll give you that one. But it's different with Kate. If I do something right, she acts like I must've cheated or something. Like there's no way I could actually just be capable at my job."

Gibbs winced inwardly, knowing the words to be true. "If you feel that way, why aren't you taking Agent McGee to Paraguay?"

"I want to do what's best for the mission, and Agent Todd is the most qualified. But I need your support."

Wondering if this was going to lead into another discussion about recognizing Tony as the team's Senior Field Agent, Gibbs asked, "And what is it you're asking me to do?"

"I need you to make it very clear to Kate that I have the lead on this mission. If it only comes from me, she won't listen. She sees herself as my equal on the team, which means if I give her any directions she doesn't like, she's going to question me, argue with me…maybe even go running to you. I can't work like that. Not to mention that we may not even have time for that. She could blow the whole mission."

Gibbs could clearly see DiNozzo's point. Kate had been known to question his own instructions, and there was absolutely no question as to his authority. He could only imagine what she must be like when he wasn't around and Tony tried to give her orders. "I'll take care of it. But you're gonna have to talk to McGee."

Tony knew the younger man was going to be crushed to not have been picked for the mission, but he felt he could get McGee to understand. "Will do, Boss. You know, he's been better lately. He even called me 'boss' yesterday," Tony recalled, now smiling from ear-to-ear.

His boss knew how much his agent must've relished that moment.

With a pointed stare, Gibbs warned, "Don't get used to it."

* * *

When Kate returned from the intelligence training school where Purcell taught, she noticed there was no one left except for Gibbs.

"Tony already go home?"

"He's packing for Paraguay. Which is what you're going to be doing in a few minutes. He chose you to go with him." Gibbs watched Agent Todd carefully for her reaction, having chosen his words very purposefully.

There was initially a look of excitement, then one of consternation. "You let Tony pick?"

If he'd had any doubt before as to the accuracy of DiNozzo's observations regarding his partner, they were now erased. "Yes, I did. It's his mission. You have a problem with that Agent Todd?"

"No, no problem," she replied, but Gibbs could tell it wasn't entirely genuine.

"Good. Cause he's the Lead Agent on this assignment. Understood?"

"Of course," Kate responded, biting her tongue. She understood perfectly well that Tony had been doing a lot of sucking up lately, so naturally had somehow talked Gibbs into letting him take the lead. "I'll start packing right away."

Watching her leave, Gibbs' gut was churning. Something told him Agent Todd didn't understand as well as she thought she did. He just hoped it didn't end up putting either of his agents in danger.

* * *

As he was ringing McGee's number, Tony recalled the eager look on the younger agent's face earlier when Gibbs had given him the choice of who he wanted to take with him to Paraguay. And now it was up to him to crush the Probie's hopes. He just prayed it didn't undo the miniscule amount of progress he'd felt had been made between them since the poison ivy incident.

"Hey, Tony!" McGee answered hopefully.

Tony's heart sank as he wondered if this was how Gibbs felt on a daily basis, having three agents constantly vying for his attention. "Hi, Probie. Listen…" he jumped right in, reasoning that it was best to get the bad part of the conversation over with quickly and use the rest of the time smoothing things over. "I just wanted to be the one to tell you that….I'm taking Agent Todd to Paraguay."

"Oh," McGee replied quietly, his hope turning to disappointment. "Well, I guess I kind of figured that. Since no one said anything before I left."

At least the other man didn't sound angry, but that may have actually made Tony feel even worse. "Look, it's not personal. Really. It's just that the TBA….a lot of really bad stuff goes on down there. Drug smuggling, terrorist cells…."

"And you don't think I'm ready," McGee finished the thought for him.

"W-well, McGee,…no, not quite yet," Tony answered honestly. "Kate's the more experienced agent. But if we were going to, say, Bermuda….I'd take you in a heartbeat."

The probie agent was taken somewhat by surprise that Tony was showing so much sensitivity to him rather than rubbing salt in the wound as he was often known to do. "Thanks, Tony. I understand."

Tony wasn't certain what had gotten into him this evening. Maybe it was the expression on McGee's face earlier, or perhaps it was simply the unease he was feeling about taking Kate that far away and expecting her to follow his lead in place of Gibbs'. But he was compelled to try to make this better for the Probie. "You know, McGee, maybe when we get back you and I could spend some time at the shooting range. Just us. I know Gibbs kind of makes you nervous, and it would be good for you to get some more practice in."

There was a long pause during which Tony wondered if the other man had hung up on him, but then he heard an intake of breath accompanied by an interested, "Really?"

Relieved, Tony continued. "Yeah. And I need a really big favor from you while Kate and I are in Paraguay."

"What is it?"

"We're going to take our NCIS-issued cell phones. I need you to make sure you can track us with the GPS at all times. You know how the boss is with technology – he's gonna need you to take care of that for him. Think you can handle it, McGee?"

"I'm on it, Tony. Anything else?"

Tony smiled, thinking of how much the other agent's tone reminded him of the "On it, Boss," he often used to respond to Gibbs. In spite of his boss' earlier warning, he could seriously get used to this. "That's all for now, McGee. See you when we get back."

"Yeah, have a good trip." McGee almost added, "Be careful," but it seemed silly. Tony and Kate had been doing this a lot longer than he had. They'd both seen a lot of danger and they always seemed to come out relatively unscathed.

In fact, McGee was beginning to see his teammates as the closest thing to real-life superheroes that he knew. Along with Gibbs, he'd begun to think of the three agents as practically indestructible.

* * *

"Oh, come _on _Tony. Don't tell me you're still angry about the stupid cell phone thing."

He and Kate were on a middle-of-the-night flight back to the States. When McGee had called him to offer the option of taking the next-available flight home rather than spending the night in the hotel they'd previously booked, Tony had jumped at the opportunity to come home as soon as possible. He'd had enough of this assignment. And of his partner's attitude.

"It's not just about the 'stupid cell phone thing,' as you choose to call it," he replied tersely. "And the fact that you don't understand that proves my point."

"And what point is that exactly? You're angry that I don't jump at your every word like some little puppy dog? Like you do with G-" The dangerous look in her partner's eyes effectively silenced her before she finished speaking their boss' name.

"I _respect _Gibbs, a concept you clearly don't understand. I respect him for his position as our Team Leader and I respect him because he's the _best _at what he does. Which is why, when he gives me an order to follow someone like he did back there with Purcell, I don't feel the need to _demand _an explanation first the way you do."

"I didn't _demand _an explanation. I simply asked why we were following him instead of taking him into custody. I think it was a legitimate question."

"Meanwhile, every extra second you take to question every little thing costs us valuable time. You think Gibbs ever gives us an order without having a good reason? You ever know him to do that, Agent Todd?"

It was at least the second time today that her partner had referred to her as "Agent Todd." The first had been during the disputed earlier incident when he'd given her cell phone away without the benefit of offering her any insight into what he was planning. She had tried to argue with him and he'd practically bitten her head off with, "Agent Todd, you are interrupting my negotiation." And he'd been angry with her ever since. She really didn't understand the big deal. They were supposed to be partners, and as far as she was concerned, that meant they were on equal ground. If he had an idea, he should've let her in on it first.

"Not _Gibbs_, no. But you aren't really angry with me for questioning him. You're mad cause I questioned you."

"Yeah, Kate, I am. Gibbs made me the lead on this assignment."

"And you thought that meant you could come down here and tell me what to do. No explanations, no nothing. I'm supposed to just blindly follow you so you can feel like you're in charge."

"I don't need to _feel _like I'm in charge of anything. I _am _in charge, until we get back to DC. A concept you don't seem to understand. What did you think Gibbs meant when he said he was giving me the lead?"

"Not that I'm going to just blindly follow you when I don't have any idea what you're doing, that's for sure."

"See, the problem with that Kate is this. Sometimes this job requires you to think on your feet. I didn't _plan_ to give Iggy your phone until he tried to trade us for it. That's when I realized we could use your phone to track him and he might lead us straight to Purcell. Unfortunately, I couldn't exactly ask your permission right there in front of him, could I," Tony inquired sarcastically.

"Well how am I supposed to know what you're thinking?" Kate huffed out in frustration.

"You _aren't. _You're supposed to trust me. Which you obviously don't." Tony answered quietly.

"Because, why? You're always so mature? You never try to trick me or McGee?"

"When have I _ever_ done something like that to screw up a mission or put one of you in danger? Name once, Kate."

There was a tense silence before she answered, "I can't. But your juvenile behavior still doesn't exactly inspire confidence."

"I have Gibbs' confidence. That should be enough for you." Tony turned his back to her as much as possible before putting a definite end to the conversation. "I'm gonna try to get some sleep now. You should really do the same."

As he closed his eyes, Kate fumed silently beside him. How she _hated _giving him the last word.

* * *

For the second time in the past few days, Gibbs found himself seated at the conference room table facing DiNozzo.

Earlier, Tony had completed his report on the Purcell case, but just as he was handing it to Gibbs, he quietly requested another closed-door conference. When his boss had asked what it was regarding, he'd simply said, "It's about what's _not _in my report."

Gibbs began the discussion with, "This have something to do with Kate?"

Tony smiled tightly. "I guess you've noticed the tension today between us."

"Difficult not to. What happened this time?"

"What I was afraid would happen. I mean, not as bad as it could've been. She didn't put us in any real danger. But she still didn't respect my authority. Remember when I called McGee and told him I'd given Kate's phone to Iggy so we could track him?"

Gibbs nodded to indicate that he remembered and then added, "It was a good plan, too. Led us straight to Purcell."

"Yeah, well, it almost didn't happen. I came up with the idea when we were standing there talking to Iggy but Kate almost threw a hissy fit when I tried to give him her phone. Almost blew the whole plan."

"And did you address this directly with Agent Todd?"

"Yes I did, Boss. Two or three times." Tony replied defensively. "I'm not coming to you as some kind of tattletale. I put my foot down and she backed off. But when I discussed it with her later, it became clear to me that she doesn't respect my authority. She still sees us as equals in the chain-of-command, which means that she expects me to explain my every move to her before she'll cooperate."

"And you want me to talk to her."

"No, Boss. That's not why I'm here," Tony said in frustration, running his hand through his hair.

Tony's answer threw the older man slightly. The situation definitely concerned him, but if Tony didn't want him to discuss the issue with Kate, then why were they here? "I'm listening, Tony."

Taking a deep breath, Tony tried to collect his thoughts. "I appreciate that you gave me the lead on this assignment, Boss. I really do. But most of the time, you treat Kate and I as equals, so that's how she sees me. Seniority isn't important to her. She used to protect the President and I was a just a cop."

"You weren't _just _a cop. You were a detective. A good one," Gibbs interjected.

"Thanks. But I guess the point I'm trying to make is that you can't treat Kate and I as equals most of the time, and then expect me to take charge when you aren't there. It just isn't working. Kate and McGee need to see in no uncertain terms that you have confidence in my ability to lead when it's necessary."

"You want me to recognize you as the Senior Field Agent."

"I'm not trying to force you to do anything. I'm just saying if you expect me to _be _the Senior Field Agent of this team, I need you to acknowledge me as the Senior Field Agent. In front of the team. They need to know you believe in my ability to lead. And more than that, I guess _I _need to know you believe it too. Anyway, that's all I wanted to say, Boss. I'll respect your decision, whatever it is."

As the younger man got up to leave, Gibbs stopped him. "Tony…." As his agent turned around and caught his eye, he offered, "I _do _believe in you."

Tony didn't respond verbally, but the answer was understood just the same.

_I need you to show me. And I need you to show everyone else, too._


	22. Chapter 22 - Getting Away

**Filler and tag for "Bikini Wax."**

**It's funny the things you notice when you rewatch these episodes with a specific purpose in mind. I knew when I rewatched this one that I wanted to do a story about Tony's Spring Break vacation. Remember how at the beginning Tony makes the joke about Gibbs shopping at Sears which he thinks Gibbs didn't hear? And then he asks Gibbs a random question about whether or not he signed off on a missing persons report to which Gibbs responds that he hadn't had a chance because Sears was having a sale? I was always so sidetracked about the Sears joke that I never really thought about the mysterious "missing persons report" – until this time, when I had an idea about that line that I **_**had**_** to work into my story.**

"**Getting Away"**

It had been a hectic Monday, and now that it was officially considered "after hours," Gibbs was finally getting around to reading the case reports on the mission that had taken two of his agents to Paraguay last week. In the middle of his reading, a piece of paper was abruptly shoved into his line of vision. It appeared to be a vacation request, and the hand attached to it appeared to be that of one Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.

Taking the offending piece of paper into his own hands, Agent Gibbs attempted to find the appropriate viewing distance that would allow him to read its contents. His mouth dropped open slightly when he noticed the requested dates: April 4th through April 8th 2005. _That can't be right. _ Finally catching the eye of the man in front of him, he gave one of his signature glares. This was unmistakably the one that said, _"You've got to be kidding me."_

Nervously clearing his throat, the younger agent responded to the unspoken question. "I _really_ need a vacation, Boss."

Not softening the glare one iota, the Lead Agent countered with, "This is next _week, _DiNozzo."

"I know. It's Spring Break!" Tony offered excitedly.

Unimpressed, his boss inquired, "So?"

"So?" Tony echoed, his eyes widening. "Boss, you really need to get out more. Beach, booze, babes. My frat brothers are planning a trip down to Panama City. Just like when we were in college!"

Well, that at least explained why his thirty-something agent had just regressed to his teenage years. "And you want an entire _week _off for this. And not just any week. _Next _week."

"It came up kind of last minute," Tony explained nervously. "My frat brothers are really busy guys. We haven't all seen each other in…" He stopped and performed the calculations in his head. "Gosh, at least five years. Way before I started working for you."

Gibbs backed off his glare just slightly but was still regarding Tony skeptically. He knew DiNozzo missed his college days, which may have been the only period of his adult life that he recalled fondly. And that, at least from the stories he'd heard, Tony had been quite close to his frat brothers before adulthood and distance had made the relationships more difficult to maintain. Still, he'd come to rely on the younger man quite a bit. An entire week with just Kate and McGee, especially if they happened to get a case, would be challenging. To his patience. And possibly his sanity.

Sensing his boss' continued hesitation, Tony became more serious and continued to plead his case. "Look, I haven't taken a week off since I've been here. That's over three years. Most agents take at least a week every year. And I've been working really hard lately – you said so yourself. And if I have to put up with much more of Kate's attitude, I just might…." Feeling that body language would best express the sentiment, he took both of his hands and mimicked a strangulation. This got a slight grin of amusement from the other man.

Emboldened Tony started to continue, but quickly covered up the topic of conversation when he noticed that the devil herself had returned to her desk from the ladies' room and was just gathering up her things to leave for the day. "So, anyway, boss, here's that missing persons report for you to sign when you get a chance…Oh, hey Kate. Heading out?"

"Yes. What missing person, Tony?"

"Oh, uh….it's nothing for you to worry about. Connected to an old cold case. Doubt anything will come of it."

Not completely satisfied, but not curious enough to hang around any longer, Kate gave a short goodbye and left for the evening. When Tony turned his attention back to Gibbs, he noticed the other man was giving him an amused smirk. "Missing persons report?"

With an anxious laugh, Tony defended, "Boss, if you turn down my vacation and Kate and McGee find out…they'll gloat. For like, _forever." _Gibbs noticed the extreme emphasis on the last word. "Not that I think you're going to say no or anything," the younger man went on. "And technically, I plan to be missing for about a week, so it's not _completely _a lie." He was met with continued silence. "So, w-will you sign it? Boss?" Now he was practically pleading.

With a weary sigh, Gibbs responded, "I'll let you know tomorrow, DiNozzo."

Trying, and failing, to hide his disappointment, his agent offered a halfhearted, "Thanks, Boss. Goodnight."

When Tony was safely out of sight, the Lead Agent allowed his expression to soften. He'd make the younger man squirm a little for giving such short notice. But there was no way he could say no. Every argument DiNozzo had made was valid. The only vacations he'd known the other man to take since he'd been with NCIS had been over the holidays, and very short trips. Tony _had _been working incredibly hard lately, and doing a great job. With very little appreciation for his efforts.

And of course the real reason, the one he'd deny vehemently if confronted, was the very tiny soft spot he'd formed in his heart for the man who didn't yet realize he was soon to become Gibbs' Senior Field Agent.

* * *

"Have I said thank you yet for approving my vacation, Boss?" Tony asked. He and Gibbs were in the car, headed back to the Navy Yard after questioning yoga instructor Lisa Kerr. Poor Tony had been trying very hard to maintain his focus for the rest of the week before leaving for Panama City, but a case involving a bunch of women in a bikini contest and a yoga instructor was not helping very much. Not very much at all.

"About 50 times, DiNozzo," Gibbs said wearily.

"Sorry, Boss. I'm just really excited. "

_I would have never guessed. _"Don't apologize. Just get your head back in the case. You're not on vacation yet."

"Right. No more distractions. Promise," Tony swore seriously.

Somehow, Gibbs doubted it. Not the sincerity – he was certain the younger man was going to try his best. But he hadn't seen DiNozzo this pumped up about something in….well, maybe he'd _never _seen his agent quite this excited. He wished he could share in Tony's enthusiasm, but he was dreading next week. Not just the other man's absence, though he'd have to admit that was part of it. He was also bothered by the idea of Tony being let loose with an endless supply of women and alcohol, and no one around to shake any sense into him if things got out of hand. He kept telling himself DiNozzo was a grown man who could take care of himself. Still, a few words of wisdom couldn't hurt.

"So you're really planning to spend a whole week getting wasted and picking up women?"

Suddenly feeling embarrassed, Tony stammered, "N-not _just _that, Boss. I'll be hanging out on the beach. Spending time with my buddies. Catching up."

"You miss it," Gibbs stated.

"College? Yeah, I do," Tony said wistfully. "Things seemed easier then."

Gibbs knew "things" meant "life." DiNozzo's childhood hadn't been particularly happy. And given his short stints at every police department he'd been a part of prior to joining NCIS, Gibbs would surmise any happiness the younger man had found in his previous employments had been short-lived. But Tony chattered incessantly about his time at Ohio State. Everything from playing sports, to girls, to his fraternity antics and his fraternity brothers. Kate and McGee had always given him a hard time about it, seeing it simply as a refusal to grow up. But Gibbs knew there was a lot more to it than that. Sometimes it seemed as if Tony held onto those memories like some sort of a lifeline.

"Just remember I don't intend to make any trips to Florida to bail your butt out of jail," Gibbs teasingly warned.

Tony laughed, returning to the present. "Don't worry, Boss. You wouldn't be the person I'd call if…." Then his eyes widened as he realized what he'd just said, noticing the intrigued expression on the Lead Agent's face. "Uh, I mean, there will be no need for that, cause I don't plan on getting into any trouble. Cause I'm a Federal Agent. And that would be very, very bad."

"And try not to spend your whole year's salary either. Abby told me you spent half your paycheck on a tie last weekend."

"A hundred dollars, Boss. Not half my paycheck. And it was a Zegna." Seeing his boss' indifferent expression he sighed, "Never mind. You've never heard of Zegna."

Smirking, the Lead Agent responded, "No, they don't sell those at Sears, remember?"

Eager to change the subject, Tony quickly replied, "So, what'd you think of Lisa Kerr's boyfriend? He seemed a little suspicious to me…."

* * *

Kate glanced at her watch. 10:37am. Wednesday. April 6th. Doing a simple calculation, she realized it had been exactly 21 minutes since the last time she'd looked. _ Well, it's an improvement. Yesterday I averaged about 10 minutes or so. _

Of course, yesterday, Gibbs had had her and McGee working on cold cases. At least today they had a _real _case to work on. Even if it was just a boring embezzlement case. With a lot of computer work she didn't really understand.

"Any luck tracing that money yet, McGee?" she asked, injecting as much fake enthusiasm into her voice as she could muster.

The Probie gave her a decidedly annoyed look. "No, Kate. When I do you'll be the second to know. After Gibbs. Who's already breathing down my neck without you asking me about it every few minutes."

_Sheesh. He's testy. _"Okay, take it easy, McGee. It could be worse. Tony could be here asking you about it every few minutes."

Glancing over at the empty desk, McGee thought, _"At least Tony'd have a sense of humor about it." _He noticed his teammate was staring in the same general direction.

"What do you think he's doing right now?" Kate asked dreamily.

McGee replied thoughtfully, "Sleeping off a hangover."

Smiling affectionately, Kate agreed. "Yeah."

"_What've we got?"_ the unmistakable voice of Gibbs barked out roughly. "And the answer better not be 'nothing.'"

While both his agents jumped at the sound of his voice, he was met with a tense silence. He decided to begin with Kate. "Agent Todd…you get that information yet from the Baltimore PD?"

She quietly replied, "I've contacted them and they said they'd get back to me. But they're really short-handed and it could be a while." Gibbs was still glaring at her, expecting more. "I'll try again. But Tony used to work there. He has contacts. They don't know me."

Still glaring at Kate, Gibbs transitioned. "Agent McGee…"

"B-boss…" McGee answered with dread. "I'm still trying to trace the money, but there's a problem with…" he started to offer an exact explanation, but now Gibbs was looking at him and there was no question that the man didn't want a bunch of technical mumbo jumbo. "It's very complicated, sir. I mean – Boss."

Taking a very deep breath, and summoning every ounce of patience, his boss asked, "How much longer?"

"Two hours. At least."

For a moment, the two agents expected an explosion of monumental proportions. Gibbs had become increasingly dour and impatient since Tony's vacation had started. Abruptly, he got up and stormed out of the bullpen. Probably going to see his favorite Goth. Or maybe to the airport to drag Tony back home early, kicking and screaming.

Though they'd never admit it, neither Kate nor McGee would have minded the latter one bit.

* * *

_When I get my hands on whoever pulled the fire alarm…,_ Tony thought groggily as he came out of his alcohol-induced slumber. Everything hurt. On top of the hangover, he was sunburned.

Gingerly, he sat up in his bed and forced his eyes open, pushing down a wave of nausea. The fire alarm seemed to be coming from the bedside table. _Oh, it's just my phone. Never realized how obnoxious it was before. _His anger towards the fire-alarm-puller shifted to whoever the bozo was that was calling him on his vacation at this ungodly hour of ….11am?

"What?" he grumbled.

"Thought you were about to break rule #3 there, DiNozzo."

Tony groaned. He didn't particularly want to have a conversation with Gibbs in his current state of dissipation and disorder. "Boss," he practically whined. "It's early. And what are you calling me for? I'm on _vacation._"

"Yeah? Sounds like you're having a wonderful time. It's 11:00 you know."

"I was still _sleeping_. You don't know how late I was…"

"Got a pretty good idea, Tony. This won't be too painful. I need you to call your contact at Baltimore PD and get him to light a fire under somebody. Kate's trying to get some information and they're giving her the runaround. Then you can get back to – whatever you're doing down there."

"That's why you're calling me?"

_That and to remind you that you're a 30-something year old Federal Agent, just in case you've forgotten by now. _"Well, yeah, DiNozzo. I told you I'd approve your vacation as long as I could reach you if we needed anything. I needed something."

"Fine, Boss. I'll call him."

"Do us a favor and have your coffee first. You sound awful."

"Thanks for the support," Tony mumbled sarcastically.

The older man chuckled silently. "Drink lots of water. Aloe vera for the sunburn. See you next week, DiNozzo."

Tony opened his mouth, but Gibbs had already hung up. The miserable vacationer stared in confusion at his phone.

_How did he know about the sunburn?_

* * *

The next day, with his hangover a memory and his sunburn fading, Tony was back to his previous antics. They'd spent a glorious day on the beach, played some volleyball, and found Rod's Tiki Tavern, where they were now enjoying drinks and scenery. Scenery of the beautiful young female variety.

"What a great idea. You have _no _idea how much I needed this," Tony smiled as he started on his second beer.

"Oh, I think I do," Bryan chimed in. After college, Bryan had moved to New York and was now a stockbroker, living life in the well-known fastlane. His life had become mostly about money. Making lots of it and helping other people make lots of it, too. Unfortunately, he hadn't left himself much time for a social life.

"Kate still giving you a hard time, Tony?" Steve asked. Of course, Steve knew a little bit about his partner. Since he'd moved to DC several months ago, he and Kate had actually dated briefly. _Very _briefly. Tony's friend had quickly learned how uncomfortable it could be to be caught between your girlfriend and one of your best friends. Ironically, he'd found that _he _was the one feeling like the third wheel, in spite of the fact that the three of them had never actually been together in one room at the same time.

Rich looked over at Tony curiously. "Who's _Kate? _New girlfriend?"

"Oh, no, no, no, noooooo!" Tony insisted. "No. Kate's my 'partner.'" He said the word making invisible quotation marks in the air. "And she's the most uptight, self-righteous, know-it-all…No, she wouldn't _demean _herself by going out with me. Believe me."

"She's not _that _bad, Tony," Steve defended.

"She wasn't that bad to _you, _you mean," Tony countered.

"Wait a minute. You _both _know her?" Rich asked in amazement.

"Steve _dated _her. That was fun. Until she decided to grill him for dirt on me," Tony prodded.

"I didn't tell her anything," Steve said defensively. "And that was only because you grilled me about our dates."

"Well if you had to work with her, you'd understand. Everything I do is wrong. I'm juvenile, I'm immature. I'm incompetent."

"Wow, sounds like you really can't stand her. Why don't you leave?" Bryan asked incredulously.

"It's not that simple," Tony explained. "I mean, actually, I _like _Kate. I know it doesn't sound that way. I like _all _of them. We have this new agent – you should meet him. He's soooo green. I like to give him a hard time. Remember the stuff we used to do to the freshmen pledges?"

They all laughed at the inside joke. "So you're saying you torture him?" Rich joked.

"Yeah, kind of," Tony admitted. "But it's just cause I really like him."

"What about your boss? Gibbs, is it? I've heard all kinds of stuff about him, between you and Kate," Steve commented.

"My boss. Let's see. He was a Marine. He averages about 3 words per sentence. Maybe 15 words per day. He likes to hit me on the back of the head."

"You're kidding. How do you work for the guy?" Bryan asked.

"It's not what you think. He just…wants me to be the best I can be. And he's the smartest guy I've ever worked for. His instincts are incredible. He can figure stuff out about people – you wouldn't believe me if I told you. I guess he's the biggest reason I stay. And then there's Abby. She's our forensic scientist, and she's this Goth…but the sweetest person you could ever know. And Ducky our ME – he loves to tell stories. He knows everything about…pretty much _everything_ I think. It's really a great group of people," Tony said sincerely.

"Wow, Tony. You're pretty lucky. I've been bouncing around every couple of years. I _still _don't know what I want to be when I grow up," Rich quipped.

"_If _you grow up," Bryan ribbed.

"I tried that once. Growing up. I found it to be highly overrated," Tony observed rather sadly.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Bryan said wistfully.

Steve flagged down a waitress. "Can we get another round of beers, please?" Turning back to his friends, he said, "Let's put that off for a while longer. Growing up, I mean."

* * *

"Dude, what's going on over here? You are so wasted, man. I could hear you all the way on the other side of the bar," Steve observed as Tony continued to laugh maniacally.

"I've _got _her, Steve. I've _got her_ . Finally! You have to see this," Tony practically screamed, pointing at a photo on the wall.

Steve got closer to the picture, studying the woman very carefully. Then he asked incredulously, "Is that _Kate?_"

"Oh, yeah, baby. Caitlin Todd in the flesh! Or at least in her wet t-shirt." Doing the best impersonation he could muster of Kate, while he was seriously drunk, he imitated, "But Tony, I'm so much more _mature _and _classy _than you are. When _I _was in Panama City, my friends and I conducted ourselves with absolute dignity."

Steve couldn't hold back his laughter any longer. "She didn't actually say that."

"Oh, Steve, my man. But she _did," _ his friend answered, grabbing him by the shoulders. "Where's my phone?"

Laughing even harder, Steve pointed out, "It's in your pocket, buddy. Right where you left it."

"Oh. Oh yeah." Pulling it out, Tony took a picture. Then another. And another.

"Steve, Steve, Steve," Tony slurred. Holding up his phone with the picture of the picture of Kate he asked, "Do you know what this is?"

"A picture of Kate in a wet t-shirt?" his friend offered unhelpfully.

"No, dude. It's my salvation"

* * *

He was on the plane, vacation over, on his way back to DC. They'd said their goodbyes to Rich and Bryan at the airport as they'd parted ways, not knowing how long it would be before the four of them could all be together again.

Now it was him and Steve, on the way back to their realities. He was sad. But, surprisingly, he was also happy. He realized he actually _missed _people while he was gone. It was an unfamiliar feeling, but a comforting one.

"Oh, man," Steve sighed. "I really don't want to go home."

"We had a good time didn't we buddy?" Tony chuckled.

"Always," Steve laughed along with him. "We should do this every year."

Remembering his hangovers, sunburn, and realizing how tired he actually was, Tony thought, "_I don't think I could do this every year." _But he kept that idea to himself, oblivious to the fact that Steve was secretly having the very same thought. Instead, he said, "Or maybe next time we could do something different. We could visit Bryan in New York. That could be fun."

"Yeah, maybe we should do that. I don't think he gets out too much. He works some crazy hours. I guess we all do. Except Rich, cause he's a bum," Steve joked.

"Did you miss anyone, Steve? While we were gone?" Tony suddenly asked.

"My cat," Steve answered honestly.

"Hmm," Tony simply answered. _Maybe Rich was right. I really am pretty lucky. _

Steve closed his eyes to take a nap and Tony pulled out his phone. With one last glance at the picture of Kate and a slightly naughty expression on his face, he had one last thought before he too drifted off for a quick nap.

_I can't wait to get home._


	23. Chapter 23 - Detention

**Tag for "Conspiracy Theory."**

**I've seen other stories dealing with the potentially compromising pictures of Kate and Tony, who was the most "wrong" in the situation, and the possible career ramifications if those pictures had gotten out. So I'm really not going that route. Instead, I wanted to focus on the underlying issues that led up to what happened in this episode, which I think have been bubbling up ever since "An Eye For An Eye." Or, really ever since Kate and Tony laid eyes on each other. And, there is another nod in here to "A Man Walks Into a Bar."**

"**Detention"**

There was a tense silence in the elevator between Kate and Tony, both of them wishing they could just get out of there as soon as possible and trying not to think of their boss' reaction to what he was most likely currently seeing on his computer screen. They finally made it to the ground floor and rushed to be the first to exit the elevator when DiNozzo's cell went off, making both agents freeze in place and stare at each other in panic.

"It's Gibbs, isn't it?" Kate asked nervously.

Tony glanced at his phone and then closed his eyes and nodded stiffly. They both thought about making a run for it, but that would only make things so much worse for them in the morning. Tony answered with a very casual, "Oh, hey, Boss. Miss us already?"

"Not so fast, DiNozzo. You and Agent Todd get your butts back up here," Gibbs ordered in no uncertain terms before he abruptly ended the conversation.

Left with his mouth hanging open, Tony reluctantly pulled the phone away from his ear and swallowed hard.

"It's bad isn't it?" his partner asked with trepidation.

"Yeah," he whispered. "He wants us back in the office."

Sparing one last fearful glance at each other, Kate and Tony abruptly turned and reentered the elevator. As the doors closed, Kate began worrying out loud. "What do you think he'll do to us?"

"Short of murder? I really don't know, Kate. I'm not aware of a precedent to compare this to."

"What _can _he do to us? Can he fire us for this?"

"The question is _would _he fire us? Cause if he did, it'd just be him and McGee, and I don't think the boss would do that to either one of them."

"So what else can he do?"

"Write us up. Headslap us silly. Make our lives hell for….well, maybe til somebody quits or retires."

Kate's eyes got big as the prospect of the last option made her realize that some things were worse than being fired. The doors to the elevator opened and with a deep breath, Agent Todd steeled herself and asked her fellow detainee, "Ready?"

"Not really," Tony answered truthfully as they reentered the bullpen and walked towards Gibbs' desk.

The older man regarded them for a moment before standing up and, with a swift gesture, beckoned, "With me."

_Or maybe he really is going to murder us, _Tony thought as Kate looked at him in confusion.

They followed Gibbs to the conference room as he opened the door and silently commanded his agents to enter, following the silent order with a very short spoken one. "Sit."

Always one to push his luck, Tony came right out with it. "Are we fired, Boss?"

Gibbs narrowed his eyes and glared at the younger man. "Don't tempt me, DiNozzo." Tony wordlessly took his seat.

The Lead Agent secretly relished this moment. Sometimes he truly felt like a grade school principal, and now he finally got the play the role. He had to hold back a laugh as he noticed how much like children his grown agents looked at the moment, both of them staring at him in awe and wondering what was coming next. He wasn't really angry, and he wasn't going to actually _do _anything to them. Except for the one thing they both perhaps hated most of all. He was going to force them to _talk. _To each other.

"I've deleted both those photos. I don't care about either one of them. I do, however, need to remind you about a little policy we have here regarding sexual harassment. It's bad enough I have to sit through a stupid seminar every year. I do _not _want to find myself or any of my agents in the middle of a sexual harassment investigation. I promise you, you would be very, very sorry. And I don't want to ever see either of those pictures again. Am I clear?"

Kate and Tony both breathed a sigh of relief. "Crystal," Kate responded quickly.

"Absolutely," Tony echoed as he stood and Kate began to follow.

"Not so fast," Gibbs responded. Slowly, the two agents took their seats again, never taking their eyes off their boss' face. "I don't care about the pictures. I _do _care that my agents are running around acting like preschoolers. So whatever's going on between you two, I expect you to stay in this room 'til you can both go back to being _Federal Agents _again."

With a chuckle of disbelief, DiNozzo argued, "You can't be serious, Boss. You're going to stay here with us all night 'til you make us talk?"

"No, Tony, I'm going home."

Now it was Kate's turn to be disbelieving. "Wha- But…How do you know we aren't going to just wait 'til you're gone and then get up and leave?" Tony sent a withering glare in his partner's direction.

Their boss, however, seemed amused. "I don't, Agent Todd. I suppose I just have to trust you both to act like adults for a change." With one last intense stare at each of his agents respectively, he added, "I _really _hope you don't disappoint me."

* * *

It had been a full five minutes since Gibbs had left the room. The only sound thus far was the surprisingly loud "tick tock" of the clock on the wall. Tony had never noticed how obnoxious that clock was before. He had a passing thought that maybe they should move it to interrogation. It could be useful in torturing suspects they couldn't get to talk.

"Why do I feel like I'm back in detention?" Kate asked, finally breaking the silence.

"Yeah," Tony agreed. Then he registered what his companion had just said. "Wait a minute, what did _you _have detention for?" he asked with fascination.

"I-I just meant this is what I imagined detention would be like," Kate stammered.

"Oh, right," Tony replied sarcastically. "I forgot, Little Miss Perfect has never done anything wrong."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she responded indignantly.

"I mean if it weren't for your attitude, I wouldn't be tempted to do things like flash pictures around of you in a wet t-shirt contest," Tony said heatedly.

"Oh, no. You are _not _putting the blame for your own juvenile behavior off on me."

"Because photoshopping a picture of me to make me look like a gay cowboy was so, what? Mature?"

"It was self-preservation. I asked you nicely, several times, to get rid of that picture of me and you had to keep pushing it. Cause that's your problem. You don't know when to quit."

Feeling the old familiar anger stirring again, Tony got up and began to pace the room. "And you wanna know what _your _problem is, Kate? You're a hypocrite!"

"I am not!" Kate cried.

"No? Let's walk through this for a moment, shall we? I was telling you about my vacation plans and reminiscing about my college days. You could've just been happy for me. You could've said, 'I hope you have a wonderful time, Tony.' But you just couldn't pass up the chance to tell me how much better you think you are than me. Again. How you and your friends were always so dignified when you went on Spring Break. You set yourself up for this. Cause you're a _fake!"_

Kate was stunned, and more than a slightly hurt. "_Me? _ Oh, that's the pot calling the kettle black."

"_Excuse _me? When have I ever pretended to be something that I'm not?" Tony asked, ignoring the nagging voice in his head telling him that he knew darn well the answer to that question.

Kate remembered all the times she'd suspected his happy-go-lucky attitude and immature pranks to be an attempt to cover up what was really going on in his head. Like shortly after they'd last worked with Paula Cassidy. Or, when he'd pretended not to be bothered by having to go through a psych eval. She knew she could call him on it right now, but she wasn't ready to open Pandora's box. Instead, she goaded him. "My mistake, DiNozzo. You really _are _as immature as you act."

"And you can't stand it, can you? That someone like me has more seniority on this team than you do. That Gibbs trusts my instincts. That he put _me _in charge when we went to Paraguay. Cause you think I'm just a dumb jock screw-up who's coasted through life on the back of my parents' money."

The last statement bothered her more than she cared to admit, even to herself. _Is that what he thinks? _"That's what this is really about. You're still upset about what happened in Paraguay."

Tony ran a hand over his face and sighed deeply. "Yeah, I guess I am, Kate," he admitted.

"You were right. I shouldn't have questioned you. Is that what you want me to say, Tony?"

"What I want is to believe you mean it. But it's a start."

"Fine. I promise next time Gibbs puts you in charge that I'll do my best to follow your lead and trust your judgment. But you have to give something here, too. You know, it makes me uncomfortable that you're always treating women like sex objects. It's demeaning and insulting. Maybe if you'd start looking a little deeper, you'd have a real relationship that lasts more than a few weeks."

"What makes you think I haven't had one?" Tony snapped, his anger temporarily overtaking his better judgment. Immediately, he realized he'd said entirely too much.

For the first time, Kate started to wonder if there had been a woman in her partner's past. Someone who had actually meant something to him. Was it possible he'd even been in love before? It wasn't something she'd even considered until now. Then again, the man in front of her had been capable of surprising her on more than one occasion. "You've never said anything about it."

"Well, as you're so fond of saying to me, there are _lots _of things you don't know about me," Tony quietly informed her with a rarely seen intensity.

"I'm sure there are," Kate replied honestly. "But if you don't let anyone know they're there, you can hardly blame people for misjudging you."

The words cut like a knife. He knew he was partially to blame for the way others viewed him. Perhaps even mostly to blame. He'd always known that. But being underestimated had generally been the better and safer option, rather than the alternative. Rather than letting people really _know _him. But being assumed to be the village idiot was getting tiresome now as well. And he wasn't sure how he was going to be able to balance the two things, especially if Gibbs actually did make him the Senior Field Agent.

"I'll try to tone things down a little," he conceded. "But, just remember, a leopard can't change its spots overnight. And, for the record, I do respect women. Sometimes I exaggerate things just to lighten the mood. I don't always mean everything I say."

_Yes, I'm starting to see that, Tony. _She added her own concession. "I don't think I'm better than you. I just don't like people knowing about my mistakes." And, unfortunately, the man in front of her had a special gift for finding and exposing them to the light of day.

Her partner nodded silently. "Guess I'll have to take your word for that."

After a lull in the conversation of a couple of beats, Kate asked, "Can we forget about Paraguay now? And those stupid pictures? Cause I'd really like to go home sometime tonight."

"Yeah, me too," Tony sighed. "You think he really went home, or do you think he's spying on us?"

Without even realizing what she was doing, Kate's eyes began to sweep the room in search of hidden cameras. Of course, the idea was ridiculous. Gibbs just had impeccable instincts.

Still, on their way out of the bullpen for the second time that evening, Kate impulsively turned around and rather loudly stated, "Good night, Gibbs."

Just in case.

* * *

Gibbs really had gone home for the evening. Tony found him right where he'd expected to – in the basement.

The older man hadn't necessarily been expecting a visit from his agent, but he wasn't surprised by it either. When he looked up, Tony was simply standing there in front of him waiting for an acknowledgment before he spoke. "You can sit down, DiNozzo. Don't have to wait for an invitation."

"I wasn't planning to stay, Boss. I just wanted to tell you in person that I was out of line and it won't happen again."

"I know it won't," the Lead Agent said confidently. "You and Kate get things worked out?"

A look of uncertainty passed over the younger man's face. "I'm not really sure. But we tried."

Gibbs could tell something was still bothering the other man. He gestured again towards the chair and this time Tony gave in and sat down. "So what's still bugging you?"

"I got some stuff off my chest. But so did Kate."

"Well, yeah, that was kind of the point," Gibbs said smirking. "So what did she say that's eating at you?"

"That I treat women as sex objects. And I almost accidentally told her about Wendy. I think I said too much." Not that Gibbs could do anything about it if he had.

_Ah, Wendy. Yeah, that would do it. _"Would it be so awful if Kate knew about that?"

"It could be. She'd ask a lot of questions. And I don't want to talk about it. Especially with her."

Tony had never wanted to talk about Wendy with anyone. Not even him. And he was reluctant to push too hard. Besides, he detected that there was something else that was bothering the younger man even more than the reference to his ex-fiancee. "Anything else come up?"

"She says she doesn't think she's better than me. Or that I'm stupid. And that she'll follow my lead next time. We'll see."

Sensing that Tony was still holding out on him, his boss put down the tool he was holding and turned to face him. "What aren't you telling me?"

It was unsettling how well Gibbs could read him, although he'd expected nothing less when he'd decided to pay his boss a personal visit rather than waiting to speak with him at the office the next morning. He supposed deep down he really must've _wanted _to discuss this with Gibbs. "She sort of accused me of not being real."

The older man's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"She implied that people underestimate me because I don't let them see the real me."

"And why do you think that bothers you so much, Tony?" Gibbs, of course, already knew the answer.

"Because I know it's true. And because I also know I'm not ready to change."

* * *

Tony wasn't the only one left needing to vent after their earlier conversation. Kate found herself picking up the phone to make a rare phone call later that evening.

"Kate?"

"Hey, Rachel. Hope it's not a bad time," Kate said hopefully.

"Never a bad time for you, little sister. How _are _you?"

Kate sighed tiredly. "Frustrated. I'm not sure if I need you more as my sister or as a psychiatrist."

"That bad? Work problem or guy problem?" her sister asked.

"Both," Kate responded quickly. Too quickly. Realizing the implication, she added, "I mean problem with a guy at work. But not _that _kind of guy."

"So it's either your abrasive boss or your immature partner. Or maybe that new agent on your team. What was his name?"

"McGee. And no, there's no issue with him. It's Tony."

"Tony. That's the immature partner?"

"Yes. And no. The thing is, I think I may have been sort of wrong about him."

Rachel knew this was a rare admission for her younger sister. "Wrong in what way?" she prodded.

"I'm not sure anymore, Rachel. Lately, I'm questioning everything I thought I knew about him. One minute, he seems like he's just goofing off and not doing anything, and the next thing I know, he's coming up with something almost…brilliant. I think he's a better agent than I gave him credit for. But I don't understand why he tries so hard to hide it."

Switching from older sister to "doctor," Rachel observed, "Well, sometimes people feel more comfortable when not much is expected of them. Maybe he's afraid of failure."

"Maybe," Kate admitted reluctantly. "But it's not just in his job. Most of the time he acts like an overgrown teenager. I used to believe it was that simple…."

"And now you're not so certain anymore. But, why?" Rachel asked.

"I've seen him turn it on and off like a light switch. There was a woman – another agent – he was involved with, and I could've sworn he really had feelings for her. When it didn't work out, he was all over the place. And there are other things. We've had some cases that have gotten pretty rough. Sometimes I can see that he's really affected, but he covers it so quickly I start questioning whether or not I saw what I thought I saw."

"People use all sorts of defense mechanisms, Kate. Of course, I don't know Tony, but it sounds like he's as uncomfortable sharing his real feelings as your boss. Gibbs was his name I think? But instead of remaining stoic, your partner tries to distract people. But what I'm really wondering is why this is bothering you so much? Is he interfering with your ability to do your job?"

"No," Kate admitted. Why _did _Tony's behavior bother her so much. "It's just that Gibbs put him in charge of a mission we went on outside the country. And I guess I had a problem with that."

Rachel held back a chuckle. Kate, the youngest in their family, had grown up with a bunch of bossy older siblings, most of them male. When she'd finally gotten old enough to defend herself, there had been hell to pay. Her younger sister had always felt like she had something to prove. It had led her to question authority at times. "Are you sure that's entirely Tony's fault? Maybe you were just a little bit jealous?"

"That's not fair!" Kate cried, her defenses going up. "Why would you just assume that it's my fault?"

"I'm not saying it's entirely your fault," Rachel soothed in the calmest voice possible. "But you know you've always had a little bit of a problem taking orders from people you see as your peers. Remember your first job?"

Somehow, her older sister had a way of taking all the wind out of her sails. Her first job in fast food had nearly been a disaster. Her "supervisor" had been a boy she knew from school, not much older than herself, and one she didn't particularly like. It had taken a stern warning from the Assistant Manager to make her submit to his authority while they were at work. "Fine. Maybe I don't appreciate having to take orders from Tony. But he assumes I just think he's incompetent, and that's not true. I think he's a good agent, Rachel. I just think he could be a better one if he'd grow up a little."

"Maybe you should be telling _him _that. You'd be surprised what a little bit of encouragement can do."

_Tell him? Because he'd find some way to turn it against me. _"Our working relationship isn't like that, Rachel. We do fighting and teasing a lot better than honesty. Believe me."

"You seem to care about him though. Am I wrong?" Rachel had always been direct. She was also almost always right, and now Kate was recalling just why she didn't call her sister more often.

Without realizing it was happening, Kate had come to care for her partner a great deal. It was the reason his behavior and their earlier conversation were both so unsettling to her. But her sister's solution was just not workable. At least not right now.

But she couldn't lie to her sister. Rachel, much like Gibbs, always knew. "No, Rachel," she admitted reluctantly. "You're not wrong."

* * *

Gibbs was satisfied he'd done all he could to address the recent problem between his two agents. The rest was up to them. He just hoped they'd work it out quickly, since Tony was about to officially become the Senior Field Agent on the team. The younger man would be thrilled, but Kate's response was the one that concerned him the most.

However, there was a more pressing issue he needed to take care of first.

"Gibbs!" Abby greeted him with her usual excitement. The enthusiasm soon turned to disappointment. "Hey, no Caf-Pow? Don't tell me you're losing your touch."

"Nope. No Caf-Pow today, Abs."

The forensic scientist looked at him in dismay. "Did I screw something up? I think I've given you all the test results I owe you."

"Not about test results. It's about something you helped Kate with. Ringing any bells?" he asked with a pointed look.

Suddenly, Abby gasped. "You saw the picture. We didn't mean anything by it, Gibbs. Tony was giving Kate a hard time and I agreed to help her get back at him."

"Oh, I know what happened. And I'm assuming it's never going to happen again. Since we're all adults here, right Abs?"

"Right, Boss. Gibbs." Curiously, she asked, "What happened with that? Tony and Kate aren't in trouble are they?"

"Not anymore. Gave 'em detention," Gibbs said with a smirk as the exited the lab.

_I miss all the good stuff, _Abby thought, wondering what she was going to do without her daily caffeine fix.


	24. Chapter 24 - Senior Field Agent

**Filler and tag for "Red Cell." And, as Tony so eloquently says, "He called me his Senior Field Agent….**_**finally."**_

"**Senior Field Agent"**

Jimmy Palmer had always been just slightly in awe of Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, and just plain terrified of DiNozzo's gruff and intense boss, Lead Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Perhaps it was that mysterious fascination with both men that had left him still thinking about the bizarre exchange between the two men that he'd just witnessed moments earlier.

They had been discussing an autopsy, specifically theorizing as to what had caused the broken neck that had led to the demise of Petty Officer Blake. When Doctor Mallard had suggested that they were dealing with a particularly strong killer who had broken the man's neck with his bare hands, he'd offered to demonstrate on Jimmy. The young assistant, of course, had no doubt that he'd be in safe hands with the kindly ME, but his stomach had lurched forward when Gibbs offered to demonstrate the technique instead. When the Lead Agent had clarified that he'd meant to demonstrate on Agent DiNozzo, Palmer had to restrain an audible sigh of relief.

Though Agent DiNozzo had expressed some reluctance, Jimmy watched in fascination as Gibbs grabbed the younger man and somehow impossibly both roughly and gently had lowered the younger man to the floor in a defenseless position. He'd have almost even called Gibbs' behavior playful. More interesting still had been the way Agent DiNozzo had simply allowed it, not even flinching or putting his hands up in a defensive position. He knew if he'd been in that position, he wouldn't have displayed the implicit trust in Gibbs that had been present on Tony's face in the moments just before the older man had made a show of snapping his neck.

But even more puzzling had been the conversation between the two men afterwards. Gibbs had reamed Tony, right there in autopsy in front of himself and Doctor Mallard, about not yet having found their hacker. Or, at least, that's what Jimmy had _thought _was happening. But when Tony had attempted to defend himself by explaining that Agent McGee was working on it, Gibbs had gotten right in his face and said, "I didn't ask McGee. I asked my Senior Field Agent."

Jimmy had felt highly uncomfortable after Agent Gibbs had stormed out of autopsy seconds later. He'd always felt reprimands should be handed out in private, but Gibbs it seemed had a unique way of dealing with issues on his team, often very openly. Which is why Tony's reaction had left him with his current expression of open-mouthed shock. He was _happy. _He was almost _giddy _with excitement. He'd grabbed Jimmy by the shoulders, making the Autopsy Gremlin feel like he was being taken into the other man's confidence, even though they barely knew each other. Apparently, whatever a "Senior Field Agent" was, versus a regular old run-of-the-mill Field Agent, the distinction was of the utmost importance, at least to Agent DiNozzo.

The whole thing had left Jimmy Palmer feeling as though a second, silent conversation had occurred in tandem with the one he'd heard with his ears. And he was clearly left out-of-the-loop. Either that, or Agent DiNozzo really was as strange as he'd heard in the idle chatter between agents _not _part of the MCRT.

The ringing of Ducky's phone jerked Palmer out of his wonderment. His mentor took a look at the ID on the phone, and then, before answering, handed a clipboard of paperwork to him and asked him to kindly "run this up to Ms. Sciuto."

The mention of Abby's name diverted his attention immediately, as he very enthusiastically responded, "Yes, Doctor Mallard," grabbing the clipboard with a broad smile and practically skipping out of autopsy towards the lab.

* * *

When Jimmy Palmer was safely outside of hearing range, Ducky finally answered his phone.

"Jethro, I was expecting your call," he answered, amused.

"Yeah, Duck? Took you long enough to answer," his friend teased.

"Yes, I do apologize, but I thought it wise to send Mr. Palmer out of the room. That is, provided you are calling me for the reason I suspect. You _are _looking for a detailed explanation of Anthony's reaction to your, uh, _revelation, _are you not?"

Gibbs knew it could be considered unconventional, and probably unprofessional, in some circles to inform an employee of a status change in such a manner. He also realized his relationship with DiNozzo was anything but conventional. The younger man had let him know in no uncertain terms that what he wanted, what he _needed, _was for Gibbs to show confidence in his abilities in a public way. Letting him know publicly, in front of his coworkers, that he'd finally attained what he'd aspired to for months had seemed fitting. And Ducky and Jimmy would be both supportive and non-threatening.

"You know me well. So? Out with it."

"Patience, Jethro," the ME chuckled. "I believe your comment had the desired effect. Anthony was quite pleased."

Still not enough, Gibbs demanded, "Define 'quite pleased.'"

Doctor Mallard grinned openly at the Lead Agent's need to hear all the details of his agent's reaction. "Well, he rather enthusiastically grabbed Mr. Palmer by the shoulders, asked him if he'd heard what you'd just said, and I believe his exact words were 'Did you hear that? He called me his Senior Field Agent. Finally.'"

Ducky could practically hear the other man's nod and smile of satisfaction through the phone line.

"Thanks, Duck."

* * *

Gibbs knew his now "Senior Field Agent" had run out to get a Caf-Pow for his favorite forensic scientist, who was still trying to assist Agent McGee in finding their elusive hacker. Knowing that imitation is considered to be the sincerest form of flattery, he couldn't help the surge of pride mixed with the sense of honor that swelled in him whenever Tony did something to mimic him.

He couldn't revel in the feeling for long. Now that Tony knew he was officially the Senior Field Agent on the MCRT, it was time to let his teammates know as well, and sooner rather than later. He wanted to inform them of Tony's change in status without the younger man being present so he could try to head off any potential issues.

"Kate, you're with me."

"Where are we going?" Kate asked in obvious confusion.

"Down to Abby's lab. Need to talk to all of you for a minute."

"Without Tony?" she pressed curiously.

"Don't need to tell him. He already knows," Gibbs stated mysteriously, as Kate quickened her pace to follow him to the elevator.

He didn't miss the raised-eyebrow expression which was Agent Todd's only response to his vague answer, but he was uncertain what was written behind it. It was either intrigue or offense at what her partner could possibly already be aware of that she wasn't.

Whichever it was, he had a feeling he was soon about to find out.

* * *

Abby felt a tiny rush of anxiety when she saw her beloved silver-haired fox entering the doorway of her lab, not so much on behalf of herself, but more for McGee, who she knew was really not any closer to identifying their hacker than the last time Gibbs had asked.

In an attempt to defuse the situation, she tried warning McGee. "It's Gibbs."

McGee looked up in alarm at the arrival of his boss and teammate and immediately tried to defend himself. "B-boss. I, uh, I mean _we_ are still working on finding the hacker…" It occurred to the Probie that Tony was suspiciously absent from the conversation, and the young agent began wishing for the other man's presence. Annoying as he could be, DiNozzo also provided a pretty effective buffer between himself and the grumpy Lead Agent with whom he often had what could be described as a "failure to communicate."

"Wasn't here to ask about that Agent McGee," Gibbs cut him off abruptly. However, seeing the obvious relief on his junior agent's face, he added, "Not _this _time. But I _will _be back."

McGee's eyes went wide, but Abby in contrast excitedly offered, "So what can I do for you, Gibbs?"

Gibbs smirked in spite of himself. "Nothing, Abs. Needed to tell all of you something." He turned so that he could now see all three of them. "Agent DiNozzo is now the Senior Field Agent of this team."

Abby was the first to speak, practically jumping up and down brimming with excitement for her friend. "Gibbs! That's just beyond awesome! Tony must be completely stoked."

The Lead Agent gave a curt nod of agreement to the statement, assuming that whatever "stoked" meant, it was probably akin to excitement.

McGee and Kate were still trying to figure out what this new information actually meant, but predictably it was Agent Todd who was the first of them to speak. "Wait a minute, Senior Field Agent, what does that mean exactly? Just that he has more seniority than we do?"

Looking Kate in the eye, the boss responded, "There's a little more to it than that. It means he's second-in-command on this team." And then he added the part he feared Agent Todd would have the most trouble with. "It won't change things drastically. But, it means when I'm not around, he's in charge."

Gibbs could see as the light of understanding went off in Agent McGee's mind, as the younger man nodded his acknowledgement and seemed accepting of the information. Their boss hadn't been all that concerned about the Probie agent's reaction. Aside from a few incidents, Tim was so new and inexperienced that he mostly looked to Tony for direction anyway, and that had been by design. From the moment Tim McGee had joined their team, Gibbs had turned over the bulk of his training to DiNozzo, not having the time himself necessary to spend teaching a probationary agent and also knowing if he did have the time, he'd likely still _not_ have the patience.

Kate had been his main concern all along. She had come to them with just enough knowledge and experience to be dangerous. Dangerous in that, at times she had exhibited more confidence in her abilities than perhaps was warranted, though that had improved over time. Still, when it came to Tony, she had difficulty separating his two personas: the immature frat-boy and the smart quick-witted investigator with a special gift of thinking outside the box. He watched the different emotions play across Kate's face as she took in the full meaning behind his words. Then, what she said next surprised him.

"Good for him. I'm sure he's ecstatic."

Had he not been watching Kate so carefully to observe her reaction, he might have believed her words to be disingenuous. But he'd seen the careful consideration, and then the acceptance, in her features before she'd uttered the words.

Maybe they were all finally getting somewhere.

* * *

With an extra spring in his step, Tony stopped at his desk in the bullpen to deposit his sunglasses and keys before heading down to the lab with Abby's Caf-Pow in search of some good news regarding their hacker. He hadn't even noticed Kate sitting there until she spoke.

"Congratulations, Tony."

He looked over at his partner in surprise, searching for any evidence of mockery yet not finding it. "I guess Gibbs told you?" he asked carefully, wanting to be sure they were having the same conversation.

"About making you Senior Field Agent? Yes, Tony, he told us all just a few minutes ago in the lab. You must be thrilled. So, again, congratulations."

As the relief washed over him, he smiled one of those rare smiles. Not the 1000-watt version meant to throw people off, or the charming one used to get what he wants, or the flirty sexy one used to get the attention of a particularly attractive woman. This was the _real _one, soft and even slightly shy. "Thanks, Kate," he offered sincerely.

"You're welcome," she responded. "But you better get that Caf-Pow down to Abby quick, cause Gibbs is on the warpath about finding that hacker. McGee's gonna need all the help he can get. And by extension, so are _you_, since Gibbs seems to be holding you equally responsible."

The smile fell slightly from Tony's face. More was definitely going to be expected of him. More already _had _been expected of him the past few days, as Gibbs had been coming to _him _for answers more than to his teammates. The responsibility was almost intoxicating, but a little bit scary. He knew he could handle it, but he hadn't quite expected the added stress that came along with the fear he'd suddenly started to feel. Fear of letting Gibbs down, of somehow being a disappointment to the man who had done so much for him.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Thinking they might need all of their combined brainpower to nail down this hacker, he invited, "Wanna come along? Maybe we can come up with something if we put all our heads together."

Kate answered in the affirmative by standing up and moving away from her chair, but in a last-minute decision paused just long enough to let Tony take the lead on their way to the elevator. Watching him in front of her, she noted that he was even walking differently today, with an air of confidence and authority she didn't think she'd seen before.

And it occurred to her that it suited him.

* * *

"Thanks for letting me come along to pick up Frankel," McGee said from the passenger seat.

"No problem, McGee. It's only right. Guy's been giving you fits for days, but you finally caught him," Tony responded casually.

"I don't know if I can take credit for that. It was your idea to check the ROTC for computer geniuses. Like Kate said, it _was _a really good idea. Even Gibbs thought so."

Tony smiled warmly as he remembered his boss walking up just as Kate had been complimenting him. He hadn't had time to thank Gibbs yet, but he was sure the older man could see it on his face at that moment, unable to contain the smile of pride and satisfaction that came with knowing he'd done his boss proud. Gibbs, of course, had only offered a non-committal, "It's his job," in reply, but Tony could see in the other man's eyes that he was pleased with him. In spite of the snide remark afterwards about not keeping him around for his personality, which he was almost certain was said for Kate's benefit.

"Thanks, Probie. You know, if it works out, I'll even let you cuff the guy."

"Really?" McGee said excitedly. "I think I would enjoy that." Realizing how it sounded, the younger man quickly added, "I mean not _enjoy _exactly…"

"Know what you meant, Probie. The guy ticked you off. I get it, believe me."

"Hey, congratulations, by the way. On the Senior Field Agent thing and all. You know, I guess I always just assumed you were in charge when Gibbs wasn't there."

"Just because you did, doesn't mean everybody felt that way, Probie," he said absentmindedly.

"You mean Kate," McGee observed. "I noticed things were a little tense when the two of you got back from Paraguay. I'm guessing you guys had a fight?"

Tony really didn't want to share the details of his issues with Kate with the Probie, especially now that he was sincerely hoping it was water under the bridge. So, instead of being forthcoming, he answered, "There can be lots of different reasons for tension, Probie. What makes you think it wasn't something that isn't work-related?"

"What would that be? It's not like you two are – " Suddenly McGee gasped as a thought occurred to him. "_Are_ you?"

"Kate's really not my type, McGee," he replied quickly, as much to himself as to the younger agent. Then he decided to have a little bit of fun. It was against his better judgment, but that hadn't often stopped him before. "But she'll get over it, I'm sure."

"W-wait, are you saying she….And you rejected her?" McGee asked in amazement.

Tony didn't exactly admit to it, but he didn't deny it either, allowing the Probie to incorrectly fill in the blanks on his own. "Look, McGee, let's just keep this between us, ok? No need to embarrass Agent Todd, right?"

"Right," Tim responded quietly, still in shock.

Smirking to himself, Tony thought, _"The kid really is too gullible for his own good."_

* * *

As the doors to autopsy swished open in front of him, Tony could just make out the words being said by the Medical Examiner.

"Jethro, it really has been quite some time since you've been…"roughed up" by a suspect. I must admit to being rather surprised when I first saw you."

"I'll get over it," Gibbs growled. "All _this _is completely unnecessary."

In a rare role-reversal, Tony had immediately called Doctor Mallard when they had returned to the Navy Yard, informing the older man of the beating his boss had sustained, even though his boss had still ended up being the one left standing by the end. Tony realized Gibbs would laugh him off if he ordered him to go see Ducky, in spite of the fact that he also knew from experience that if it had been _him _on the receiving end, there would have been no question in the matter. However, Ducky wasn't Gibbs' subordinate, and could really be rather stern and demanding when he wanted to be. He was one of the very few people who enjoyed the occasional privilege of ordering Leroy Jethro Gibbs around.

"Well, how is he Ducky? Behaving?" Tony teased, but still with a slight touch of concern.

"_DiNozzo…" _Gibbs warned.

Chuckling, Ducky answered his question. "Surprisingly well in spite of a wee bit of complaining. There does not appear to be any serious damage, but I'm afraid Jethro here is going to be quite sore tomorrow. I've applied antibiotic and bandages to the deeper wounds. I've also advised him to take ibuprofen, but I'm afraid he has thus far refused my advice."

"I'm _fine. _You can both stop fussing."

Tony didn't actually remember doing any fussing. Perhaps some hovering and a tiny bit of eavesdropping, but most certainly _not _fussing. Changing the subject, he informed his surly superior, "I went ahead and sent Kate home, Boss." Then feeling a brief flash of insecurity that perhaps he'd already overstepped his bounds, he added in a much more uncertain tone, "I hope that was okay…."

"There anything else she could do tonight, DiNozzo?"

"No…" Tony said, making his response sound almost like a question.

"Then you did exactly what I expect you to do," Gibbs reassured. The Lead Agent hopped off the table just a bit too quickly, grabbing on to the edge as he tried to regain his balance and quiet the intense pounding in his head. He hoped his companions hadn't noticed, but he'd have no such luck.

"You know, Boss, maybe I should drive you home tonight. I can pick you up and bring you back in to work tomorrow. " Seeing the glare he was currently receiving, he tried a new tactic. "If it was me, you'd make me let you drive me home. I know that cause it _has _been me. And I'm thinking it's kind of my duty now as your Senior Field Agent to make sure you don't endanger all of DC just because you're too stubborn and pigheaded to accept help when it's needed." The last statement had him believing he had most _definitely _overstepped his bounds this time.

Gibbs wobbled over to him and Tony tensed, expecting either a mild headslap, or worse a true dressing-down. Instead, his boss surprisingly acquiesced. "Fine, DiNozzo, but remember I get here _early. _If you're volunteering to pick me up, you're agreeing to get here early, too."

"I know that. I have work I can catch up on."

Too tired and in too much pain to argue anymore, Gibbs very carefully began heading towards the double doors, tossing a grunted, "Thanks, Duck" over his shoulder.

"Nice work, Anthony," the doctor offered with a smirk as Tony momentarily lingered. "Perhaps you can get him to take his medicine as well?"

As Tony was skeptically considering this, he heard an impatient, "You coming some time tonight, DiNozzo?"

Turning back to the ME, he replied, "I think I'd better not push it, Ducky. His bite might really be worse than his bark when he's in pain." With that the younger man practically jogged out of autopsy to catch up with the older man, leaving the doctor laughing softly behind him.

* * *

"Boss, I'll be by at 0600 in the morning. Is that early enough? I know you like to stop and get coffee on the way," Tony inquired as he walked through the doorway of Gibbs' house, following a man who was proceeding unusually gingerly.

"0600's fine."

The younger man could tell Gibbs was exhausted and in pain, but still lingered in the doorway contemplating the things he wanted to say to the other man now that he finally had the first opportunity of the day to speak with him privately.

Reading his mind as always, his boss broke the silence. "What's on your mind, Tony?"

"Nothing bad, Boss. I just wanted to say thank you. You know, for making it official." Coughing awkwardly around the sudden lump in his throat, Tony explained, "It really means a lot to me that you think I can do it."

The slightly emotional display from the younger man didn't go unnoticed, but Gibbs chose not to openly acknowledge it in order to save them both the discomfort. "You earned it, Tony. And I expect you to keep earning it."

Taking it for the encouragement and show of confidence that it was intended to be, Tony promised with more assurance than he actually felt, "I know, Boss. I won't let you down and you won't regret it. I'll make you proud of me."

The last promise was what Tony wanted more than just about anything else in the world. Though it would be years before he would actually hear those words from the other man, had he been able to read Gibbs' mind at that moment, he'd have been saved from the multitude of doubts and insecurities on the matter that would plague his future.

_I already am, Tony. I already am._


	25. Chapter 25 - 1966 Mustang

**Filler and tag for "Hometown Hero." **

**This one is a bit shorter and lighter intentionally. As I'm sure you've figured out, there is a long stretch of heavy angst to come after this. **

"**1966 Mustang"**

He and Tony had been in the car for about 10 minutes so far, on their way to Webb's Nursery to pick up their suspect, Bruce Webb. So far, Tony had been his usual chattering self, but something was definitely off and his boss was relatively certain that he knew what that something was.

To this point, they'd discussed the weather, the NBA playoffs, and the new "Star Wars" movie, which he'd unwittingly learned was coming out in a couple of weeks. "Discussed" may have been a rather strong term. _Tony _discussed. Gibbs tried to concentrate on the road and fight down an ever-increasing itch to head slap his companion.

It wasn't that he minded Tony's chatter necessarily. He often enjoyed talking and/or listening to Tony, but that was when the conversation actually meant something to both of them. Not so much when the younger man was talking out of either sheer nervousness or an attempt to hide his real mood. Gibbs strongly suspected that the current string of almost stream-of-consciousness ramblings from his agent stemmed from the latter circumstance.

Tony was miffed. Not full-blown anger, mind you. Anger resulted in silence. Gibbs almost muttered a whispered "thank you" that he at least wasn't having to deal with a truly ticked-off DiNozzo. After being forced to work the entire weekend on this case, the Lead Agent was not certain he could've handled that with his usual grace. Which was admittedly minimal to begin with.

But there was no doubt that Tony was just the tiniest bit annoyed with him, and yet trying rather valiantly to hide it. There was probably also just a smidgen of hurt feelings mixed in there. In fact, the irritation with him probably stemmed from the perceived affront to his feelings. Sighing inwardly, the older man decided it was time to confront the issue head-on.

He cut off one of Tony's ramblings with, "You know, I _do _understand Tony."

The younger man had assumed he was doing a rather effective job of hiding his feelings, so he didn't immediately perceive the real meaning behind his boss' words. "You do? Never took you for a 'Star Wars' fan, Boss."

Gibbs couldn't hold back the eye roll or the exasperated huff of breath that accompanied it. "Do I strike you as a 'Star Wars' fan, DiNozzo? I was talking about your car."

There he was. The real Anthony DiNozzo decided to finally make his appearance. In a quick flash his face held a momentary anger, then disappointment. His posture stiffened, and in a soft, controlled tone he almost whispered, "I really don't want to talk about my car right now."

"That so? Cause you've spent most of the last few days talking about it."

"And you've spent most of the past few days dismissing me. I'm surprised you even remember my car was stolen." Tony regretted the heat behind the words almost immediately. He knew he was being just a little bit childish, but the combination of the loss of his car and the complete lack of sympathy from Gibbs had put him in a very bad mood.

Gibbs softened his tone. He'd suspected Tony's current state of mind had less to do with the car and more to do with his false perception that Gibbs didn't care. "Like I said, I do understand. I know you think I don't, but I like cars, too. Not just boats." A wave of nostalgia swept over him as he remembered the Dodge Challenger he'd once bought, but had never had the chance to restore, leaving it and his childhood behind to join the Marines.

"Could've fooled me," Tony grumbled.

Choosing to ignore his Senior Field Agent's under-the-breath remark, Gibbs continued. "I also understand that there's a time to take care of personal business, and it's not when we're in the middle of a case with such a tight deadline. Petty Officer Dobbs gave his life for his country and we owe it to him to find out the truth. And Nora Webb, Emmy Poole – they were too young to die. We owe them justice. That's more important than a car, DiNozzo."

Now Gibbs was adding insult to injury by making Tony feel about 3-inches tall. "I never said the car was more important. But when I work all week and then I end up working all weekend, too, and my only means of transportation gets stolen….you know I have to take care of this stuff sometime, Boss. If I hadn't talked to my insurance agent, I wouldn't have gotten a rental car. And then I couldn't get to work at all. And there's not a whole lot I can do for Petty Officer Dobbs sitting on my butt at home, can I?"

_Well, crap. _Somewhere in that tirade, DiNozzo had brought up a good point. Gibbs realized he probably had been a little bit harsh about Tony talking to the insurance agent. "Guess I can't argue with that. But it's over and there's nothing you can do about your car now. When the case is wrapped up, you're gonna have to just put it behind you and get another car. Until then, I need your head in this case 100%. You _just _became Senior Field Agent."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Tony asked, still obviously annoyed.

"Because people are watching you. The team, other agents. The _Director. _They wanna see how you're gonna handle this. And you're supposed to set an example. And they're watching me, too. The last thing I need to do is start treating you differently because we're…." _That _problem again. They were what? Friends? "Look, sometimes we spend time together outside of work and if I let you get away with stuff it could be taken the wrong way."

"Is that gonna be a problem now? Hanging out after work sometimes?" Tony asked nervously, his insecurity getting the better of him.

"No, Tony. My door's always open," his boss reassured. "But I can't play favorites on the clock. You knew the expectations were gonna be high when you became the Senior Field Agent. When we're working a case, I need your full concentration. No distractions."

They didn't have time to finish the conversation because they'd arrived at Webb's Nursery, leaving Gibbs to wonder if he'd gotten through to his agent, or if the younger man's lack of response meant that he was still upset with him.

* * *

_They laughed at me. _Knowing how much that car meant to him, they had all watched it be completely demolished before their eyes, and Kate's and Gibbs' reactions had been to laugh at him.

Kate wasn't a surprise. But Gibbs. That had really hurt.

Abby had at least pretended to feel sorry for him, even though he knew she didn't really get it either. But Abby had such a sweet nature that she couldn't stand to see anyone hurting, even when she didn't fully understand. So, she'd put her arms around him in a quick hug, before heading out of the office to try to enjoy what little was left of their weekend.

Left with only McGee as he sat in a sort of stunned stupor at his desk trying to process the fact that he would never, ever see his beloved Corvette again, he suddenly noticed the Probie was standing sort of hesitantly next to his desk.

Tim cleared his throat and nervously offered, "I really am sorry, Tony."

Remembering the younger agent's story from the previous day about the Camaro he'd crashed into a bus as a teenager, Tony responded, "I know you are, Probie. Thanks."

Not used to having a conversation with Agent DiNozzo that didn't involve himself being teased, hazed, or humiliated, McGee felt like he should say something else, but nothing appropriate was coming to mind. All he could come up with was a lame, "Guess we should go home. Tomorrow's Monday already."

Only half paying attention, Tony responded with a distracted, "Yeah."

But when Tim started to walk away, Tony asked almost without even thinking about it, "Hey, Probie, you wanna grab a quick drink on the way home?"

McGee was tired and dreading the prospect of beginning another full workweek the next day after having not had a break. About to decline, he remembered the look on Tony's face when he'd seen his car totaled on live television and something like sympathy took over. Besides, Tony had been there for him after Erin Kendall had been murdered. A quick beer wouldn't kill him.

"Sure, Tony."

Somewhere over that beer, Tim and Tony toasted to the two best classic cars any guy had ever had.

* * *

_Once again, I did exactly the wrong thing._

Gibbs winced again after he remembered Tony's face after losing his car once and for all.

He didn't _mean _to make light of Tony's disappointment. He'd simply hoped the younger man had gotten over it and was ready to let it go. The chances of him ever getting that car back, particularly after it had been stolen and used to commit a crime, had always been slim-to-none. And why he would even want it back now was something he really didn't understand.

But laughing about it had most likely only reinforced Tony's belief that he didn't understand and didn't really care to.

Checking the time, he decided it wasn't too late just yet to make a phone call.

"Don't tell me I woke you up, Tobias."

"Hey, I'm not gettin' any younger, Jethro. And I don't have a boat in my basement to work on until the wee hours of the morning."

"Need a favor."

"I thought we decided we were even."

Gibbs grinned. "Not a work-related favor. A personal one."

"Well now you're really pushing it. You know, I said you were the closest thing to a friend I had. I didn't actually say you _were _one."

"But think about how mad it would make Diane to know we were buddies."

There was an amused pause. "What can I do for you, Jethro?"

"I've got this friend who's into classic cars. His last car just got totaled…"

There was a sharp whistle on the other line. "Well that sucks. Hope your friend's ok at least."

"He wasn't actually in the car. It was stolen."

"Even worse. But I'm not sure why you're calling me. You know as much about classic cars as I do."

"Yeah, but I'm not that good with internet stuff, and it's not something I want to ask anyone on my team to do."

"So you want me to check the internet for ads? Can't your friend do that himself?"

"Yeah. But I don't know if his heart's gonna be in it for a while and I kind of owe him."

"I guess you must if you're calling _me _for help. I'll see what I can do. You know, I'm surprised, Jethro."

"Why is that?"

"I always assumed you didn't have any friends either."

* * *

A few days later, Gibbs discreetly slipped a piece of paper under Tony's nose as his agent was sitting at his desk catching up on some paperwork.

"What's this, Boss?"

"It's an ad, DiNozzo. What does it look like?" the older man asked impatiently.

Taking a closer look, Tony replied in a slightly awed tone, "It's an ad for a 1966 Mustang. Sweeeet. But you don't exactly surf the internet. Where did you get this?"

"I had help. Does it matter?"

The younger man frowned in confusion. "You asked someone to help you look for cars on the internet for me?"

Slightly embarrassed, the Lead Agent quickly said, "Yeah, DiNozzo. But if you want it, you better call about it soon."

"But, Boss, this is work time," Tony challenged.

"Well, we're not in the middle of a case. Just…go to the break room or something. Don't let anybody catch you," Gibbs said in a hushed tone.

A broad smile crept across his Senior Field Agent's face as he abruptly snatched up the piece of paper and hurried towards the employee break room, already taking out his phone to dial.

And it wasn't long before Tony DiNozzo had found the new love of his life.

* * *

**I don't usually make notes at the end, but wanted to explain my plan for the next few episodes. I think I am going to combine "SWAK" and "Twilight" into a single multi-chaptered story instead of separating them because to me the two episodes are very much connected. It will begin just before "SWAK" and end with the moments immediately following the last scene of "Twilight." Then, that will be the end of "Season 2," but I will begin a brand new story for "Season 3," while will likely start with another multi-chaptered story encompassing "Kill Ari, Parts I & II."**

**It may be a few days before I have the first part up – definitely don't want to rush through the next few, as they are so very important. **


	26. Chapter 26 - Darkest Hours - Part I

**Here is the first installment of a multi-chaptered story encompassing the events of "SWAK" and "Twilight." This first part is pre-episode, along with a handful of scenes from the beginning of "SWAK" from Gibbs' point-of-view and then from Tony's – mostly laying the groundwork for things to come. The next one will be more "filler" for the middle portion of the episode, particularly for the hours Kate and Tony spend together in isolation. **

**I didn't expect to have a whole first chapter up quite this soon, but once I started writing the first few things I wanted to cover, I realized before I knew it that I had enough for a chapter already. This could be a long story :)**

"**Darkest Hours – Part I"**

As he absentmindedly peeked out the window, he realized it was still thoroughly dark outside. Not even the first hints of dawn had yet made their appearance, yet he was wide awake and not at all likely to see any additional sleep before the first light of morning arrived.

He took a couple of slow, deep, cleansing breaths, closing his eyes momentarily in the process. The pounding in his chest had subsided to a dull throbbing finally, but as he opened his eyes and looked down at his hands, he realized the trembling was still present. He was brewing his first cup of coffee of what already promised to be a long day, and he fully intended it to provide a remedy to the shaking of his hands. Of course, most people didn't look to coffee to calm their frayed nerves. Leroy Jethro Gibbs had never been "most people."

Deciding he couldn't wait a moment longer, he grabbed the pot and poured the rich brew into his waiting mug. He'd never claimed patience as one of his virtues and was therefore accustomed to the sound of the still-brewing liquid hitting the hot base of his coffee maker, bereft of the pot that was supposed to be waiting to catch the liquid. The hiss was oddly comforting this morning. It matched his mood.

He took the life-sustaining brew over to the bare couch that sat in his living room and sat down, leaning heavily into the cushions. For a moment, he lay his head back and closed his eyes. He rarely felt this out-of-control. Trying to remember the last time, he recalled the string of recurring nightmares that had plagued him about a year ago. Then, he'd been assaulted with a string of dreams that always involved a trip down to autopsy, a body bag, and a member of his team inside, dead, with a bullet through the forehead.

Nightmares were commonplace for him, but those had been something that Abby would probably call a premonition. He'd debated the existence of supernatural phenomena with the young forensic scientist on numerous occasions, and she'd often reminded him that what he affectionately referred to as his "gut" could be considered one of these occurrences. He'd argued instead that it simply involved good instincts and acute powers of observation. However, since those dreams last year, accompanied by the arrival of the object of his obsession soon thereafter, even he had experienced some wonder at the coincidental timing. He didn't believe in premonitions, but he also didn't believe in coincidences. It presented quite a quandary, one he'd decided better left alone.

That quandary had made its reappearance in his life over the past couple of nights. For the third night in a row, he'd found himself awakened by something that was more than just a nightmare. It was a clenching – of his gut, of his chest, of his heart. Each time, he'd awoken with his heart pounding, knowing he needed to breathe and yet strangely unable to do so until he'd been so dizzy his body's natural responses had subconsciously forced the issue.

This one had been different. The last two nights, he'd simply awoken with that feeling, but when he'd tried to recapture the images and the substance of the dream, the details had slipped just out of his grasp. Now that he finally recalled the specifics of one of these night terrors, he realized his lack of memory had been a blessing in disguise.

In the quiet of the pre-dawn hours, there was nothing to do other than to replay the details until they were permanently etched in his conscious mind.

They had been in a warehouse – himself, Kate and Tony. For a while, the only sounds had been their 3 sets of footsteps, quietly searching the spaces. The object of the search was unknown to him. At some point he became aware that he'd ceased to hear the other two sets of footsteps, as the sounds of his own echoed almost painfully in his ears. He stopped to look for his team, but couldn't locate them. Somewhere above his head, he thought he heard the very faint sound of laughter.

Suddenly, the room was flooded with light. He was in the middle of the warehouse and in the wide open space in front of him stood his agents. They were facing him, Tony on the left and Kate on the right, approximately six feet apart. Behind each of them stood two identical figures cloaked in shadows, their faces completely obscured, each holding a gun to the temple of one of his agents.

Kate was looking at him, her eyes wild with fear, pleading with him. _Do something, Gibbs. I don't want to die! _

Conversely, Tony was looking everywhere _except_ at him. The ground, the ceiling, some unseen fixed point over his shoulder. Finally Tony simply closed his eyes as if bracing himself for the inevitable.

Then there was a voice, once again emanating from some vague location above his head instead of a fixed location. "Hello, Agent Gibbs. Did you miss me?"

It was smug, amused. The familiar rage and hatred engulfed him. "Let them go! I'm the one you want."

He'd meant it to sound like an order. It came out as a weak, needy, desperate plea. The laughter returned. "Poor Gibbs. Not used to not being the one in control. I know how difficult this must be for you. Since I'm a reasonable man, I'm going to take pity on you. I'll allow you to keep _one _of them."

The alarming realization of just what the voice was asking of him caused him to lose control of his temper. He practically screamed, "Let them go, you sick…"

No matter what he said, the voice above him wasn't rattled. It simply grew more smug, more arrogant, and exponentially more amused at his predicament. "Now, now. No need for name calling. I may be tempted to withdraw my generous offer. So, which one?"

"_What?"_ The voice couldn't be possibly asking him what he thought it may be asking.

The voice made a dramatic exasperated sigh. "I'm losing my patience, Agent Gibbs. This game is ceasing to be fun. I'm asking you to choose which one of your agents you get to keep. Please decide soon, or I may be forced to choose for you."

He caught Kate's eyes, even more panicked than before. Tony was tense, clenching his eyes together impossibly tight. He'd opened his mouth to speak, but the next thing about the dream he could remember was that everything went black again and he was violently shaken out of his sleep by the sound of a single gunshot.

No matter how many times he went through the events in his mind, the very end of the dream was the one part that remained fuzzy. He kept telling himself, "_It was a dream. It wasn't real. It doesn't matter what happened."_

Yet, it seemed vitally important. Had he really managed to choose one of his agents, effectively ending the life of the other? Would he do that? _Could _he ever do that? The rational part of his mind said no, but there was a tiny bit of doubt. Does anyone ever know for certain what they would do under desperate circumstances?

There was one thing for certain, and it was the element of the dream that had elevated it from a simple nightmare to the cold fingers of fear that were wrapping themselves around his entire body. He knew the voice as assuredly as he recognized his own.

_Ari Haswari._

* * *

When morning was finally in full bloom that day, it was a thing of beauty. They were right in the middle of spring, the cold bite had disappeared from the air – replaced by a refreshing coolness that contained just enough hint of the warmth to come, and the skies were clear.

Most that knew him would have been surprised to learn that Gibbs' favorite time of day was during the morning. Not sunrise and, amazingly, not even his first cup of coffee of the day. It was the first few minutes of his team's workday, when his agents were just arriving for work and their conversation had not yet been forcibly turned to the darker things concerning pain and death that necessarily filled their working hours.

In those first few moments, his agents shared things that happened outside of these walls. What they liked to do, who they spent time with, their hopes, sometimes their dreams. It was a necessary reminder for him that there was still a world out there beyond the Navy Yard, and that his agents were still able to enjoy that world when they were released from the confines of a job that encompassed so much sorrow.

Gibbs enjoyed the aura of mystery that surrounded his ability to sneak up on his agents, having heard things they'd never intended for his ears. The truth was much less interesting. He simply enjoyed listening to their morning banter, particularly when they weren't restrained by his presence, and sometimes he simply lay in wait to catch pieces of their conversation before making his presence known. Other times, he would sit at his desk but simply pretend not to be listening, all the while secretly picking up on every nuance. This was one of those mornings where he'd actually walked right in when his team was already in the middle of whatever discussion they'd been having before, and he hadn't made it in time to hear all of it.

His agents seemed particularly energetic today, and it didn't surprise him. In spite of the ominous feeling that had surrounded him the past few days, his agents were blissfully unaware that anything was amiss. Things had been going incredibly well lately. His team, a group of agents with vast differences in background and personality, was finally functioning as a true team, something he'd wondered if he'd ever see. Agent McGee was still very inexperienced, but finally coming into his own as an agent. Kate seemed to be more open to learning and taking direction, while improving on her profiling skills. And Tony had been the happiest of all. Finally attaining the Senior Field Agent position, there was a confident air and enthusiasm of spirit in the young man that he'd never seen before. And his other two agents seemed to be developing a grudging respect for him, though the banter and the bickering was something he knew would never quite disappear. And he didn't truly want it to. It kept them all on their toes, including himself.

Gibbs stopped in his tracks when Kate greeted him with a noticeably stuffy, "Good morning."

Concerned, he'd stopped and asked, "Cold or flu?"

He felt slightly better when she'd assured him it was simply a cold, returning to his desk and teasing them about how he'd never had a cold or flu. He was secretly still contemplating whether or not to send Kate home. He had no doubt that she'd be able to perform her duties today just fine in spite of feeling under the weather. They didn't have a hot case at the moment. Still, he could imagine a scenario where Kate passed along her cold to Tony and then to McGee, all three of his agents were sick, cranky, and bickering incessantly, and _then _being pulled into an urgent case. It would be just his luck – the perfect storm of bad luck which might very well end with someone being sorely tempted to strangle someone else. Or, more likely, himself being tempted to strangle all three of them.

As he was still contemplating the best course of action, and checking his voice mail, Gibbs noticed his agents' attention had turned to the mail. Something about a letter addressed to "NCIS Special Agent" with a set of lip prints on it. Naturally, DiNozzo assumed it must be for him and his boss smiled inwardly.

If he hadn't let himself be so distracted by Kate's cold and his agents' good-natured banter, he'd have arrived at his next thought process a few seconds sooner, and it may have made all the difference in the world. _That envelope needs to be checked out before we open it. _It was a harsh reality in the post-9/11 world they lived in that you don't open mysterious packages or envelopes, particularly when you work for the Federal Government. It was a reality they'd momentarily let their guard down against, and they were about to pay dearly.

Gibbs had glanced up with an intention to say something. It was too late. Tony's face was already partially obscured by the cloud of white powder.

The cold fingers that had gripped him earlier that morning had returned, squeezing his heart, his throat, his lungs with twice the force now. And they weren't going to let go anytime soon.

* * *

It was becoming increasingly difficult to hide his fear. He'd already had a moment of near panic in the showers. It didn't help that the Probie had given a laundry list of diseases that could be contained in that powder. In addition to anthrax, he'd been reminded that he could also be infected with smallpox, bubonic plague, cholera. He was certain that wasn't a complete list either.

He'd covered with nervous chatter, fretting about the loss of his expensive designer clothes. _Why _had he decided to dress up today?

Now they were in autopsy and they were just waiting. Any moment now, someone was going to arrive to take him away. To the hospital – one of his least favorite places on the face of the earth. He remembered all the past times he'd been there and complained about Gibbs' demand to stay there with him, no matter the injury, great or small. This time he was going to be completely alone, and he now wondered what could have possessed him to complain all those other times. He'd give anything if Gibbs could go with him.

Looking around at his teammates, the people he was currently closest to on this earth, he had a horrible thought. They were _all _being tested. He was the idiot who opened that envelope. He supposed he deserved whatever he got. But if his recklessness had endangered his teammates – or _Gibbs_ – he didn't think he could ever forgive himself. If he lived long enough to have the chance.

_Some Senior Field Agent I've turned out to be. Gibbs must be so disappointed in me._

If Tony was aware on any level that it was odd to be fretting over such a thing when his very life was currently at stake, it wasn't a conscious one.

Even as he was giving himself a mental beating, his defensive mechanisms inexplicably caused him to try to blame the Probie aloud. McGee had unwittingly become his favorite target whenever Tony was feeling angry or vulnerable. He couldn't seem to help himself, and it would cause untold future conflict between them. For the time being, it was fanning the flames of a guilt already present in McGee's overactive imagination, even though it would be several days before Tony would become aware of the full effects of his thoughtless comments.

"Who opened the envelope?" They were here to take him away. In a last-ditch attempt to postpone the inevitable, he pointed at McGee, but he very quickly corrected the situation.

"Did you inhale any powder?"

"I might have." _I _might _have? How about – well, yeah, I was covered in the stuff. Whatever awful thing that was in that powder is now coursing through my body ready to attack me at any moment. How can everybody be so calm? How is it that _I _seem so calm?_

When he heard Gibbs order Kate to go with him, he could have cried with relief. He wondered when he'd become such a sissy, feeling like he needed a familiar face, even if it was Kate's. Like he was suddenly eight years old again, wishing Daddy would come out of the stupor he was in and hold his hand, tell him everything was going to be okay, do _something._

As if his wish had been answered, well over twenty years later, he felt the familiar feeling of a swat to the back of the head. It wasn't Gibbs' hand – they weren't supposed to have direct contact with each other - but it had the same effect. It got his attention, pulled him out of the sea of fear he was drowning in.

"If I get anthrax, how will you feel?" _I'm really, really scared this time, Boss. _

"Not as bad as you, DiNozzo." _I've still got your six Tony. Even if I can't physically be there._

He chanced a look at his boss, dropping the mask for just a brief moment. Long enough for Gibbs to read the full extent of his fear. Gibbs answered with a smile. Not the usual one. This one was warm, affectionate. Strong, calming.

As frightened as he was, he smiled back. _I'll be strong, Boss. Just please hurry. _He didn't even know what he expected Gibbs to _do_. But he trusted the man. More than perhaps he'd ever trusted another human being. Whatever Gibbs was going to do, it would be everything that could be done to help him.

And that thought along with the smile of reassurance he'd just received were simply going to have to be enough to sustain him. At least for now.

That along with the familiar comfort of arguing with Kate. Cause he could always count on her to fight back.

* * *

Gibbs was one of the few people who could recognize almost immediately when Tony was scared, despite the numerous smokescreens the younger man held at his disposal.

He knew it immediately in the bullpen, when Tony walked by him muttering a despondent, "Sorry, Boss," breaking rule #6 and not even giving it a second thought. He'd known it when Tony despaired at the loss of his designer clothing. He was certain of it when the younger man had teasingly tried to blame Agent McGee for their current situation, oblivious to the fact that the other man was taking his words quite seriously.

If there had been any lingering doubt, it would have been wiped away by the look Tony had given him just before being led away. It had very nearly broken his heart.

He began analyzing the events of the last few moments in his mind. Had he done enough? Said enough? Was a headslap and a smile really enough support to offer a young man who could be dying.

_Don't get carried away, Probie. It could still be a hoax. Stuff like that goes on all the time. _Maybe he was going crazy. He was hearing Mike Franks' voice in his head, a voice he hadn't heard in years. A voice that made him feel anger and comfort at the same time.

His gut argued back. _It's not a hoax. This is the real thing. Tony's in trouble and I'm stuck here in this room waiting on results of a stupid blood test. There isn't a thing I can do to help him right now. He's all alone._

Mike was back again. He never would back down from a fight. Or at least he hadn't until it had mattered and he'd taken his toys and left NCIS for good. _He's not alone. You sent that pretty agent with him. She's a lot better lookin' than you, Probie. You did him a favor._

Kate. He'd sent Kate to extra cautious, right? Because she had a cold and she might be more susceptible to germs. It was a precaution to protect her. Wasn't it? _Or maybe you were being selfish. Because you didn't want to send Tony alone. You felt guilty that you couldn't go, so you sent her. _

The voices were getting confusing now. He thought that one was probably his conscience. Had he actually endangered Kate without meaning to? What if she didn't have anything other than a cold and Tony was infected with something? Couldn't he infect her?

The unwanted memory of his dream reared its ugly head. As if he didn't have enough to be upset about. Now Ari's voice was in his head. _Which one, Agent Gibbs?_

_Enough! _He didn't know which voice that one was, and he didn't care anymore. He couldn't stand around here and listen to imaginary voices. He needed to know what they were dealing with, and he needed to know it _now. _He needed to _do _something and quickly.

He looked towards the doors to autopsy, attempting to plan his escape, but Ducky, as if reading his mind, stood there with folded arms and the look that said, "_I know what you're thinking and you're not going anywhere until I say so."_

In frustration, he threw the items he'd been holding on to the nearest autopsy table.

Kate's and Tony's bickering voices had died away now. Sparing another glance towards the sliding doors, he tried to hold on to the image of his two agents leaving a few moments earlier, their usual good-natured sparring providing a lighthearted image that masked the seriousness of their situation.

Once again, his mind momentarily betrayed him. He wondered if that would be his last memory of Tony. Or perhaps even his last memory of them both.

_**To be continued…**_


	27. Chapter 27 - Darkest Hours - Part II

**Filler for "SWAK." Next chapter will pick up post-episode (aside from the very last scene with Kate which is supposed to occur after some time has passed). **

"**Darkest Hours – Part II"**

_Something is definitely wrong with me._

Somewhere between his lengthy discussion of the movie "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble" and his bold assertion to Kate just a few moments ago that he, Anthony DiNozzo, was _not _afraid, he'd become acutely aware that he was feeling just a little bit off.

The fever had been initially so subtle in its onset that he'd wondered if the feeling had been caused by the blue lights_. Or maybe I caught the same cold Kate has, and it's just taken longer to show up. That has to be it…Except without the stuffiness. Or the sore throat. Or pretty much anything that resembles a head cold. _

It had been a very short-lived hope. It wasn't a cold. But what was it then? Brad and Emma hadn't even acknowledged the existence of his fever, even though he knew they must be aware of it. They'd been monitoring his and Kate's every move since they got here. Why weren't they saying anything?

How he wished he'd paid more attention to his bio-terrorism training. To things like, "_What are the symptoms that tell you you've contracted some deadly awful disease for which there is no known cure and you're going to die a slow and painful death?"_

Reflexively, he reached up and touched his forehead again, carefully watching to make sure Kate wasn't looking in his direction. She was the one person in the room he was pretty sure had no idea that there was anything unusual going on with him. He could have sworn it felt even warmer to the touch than it had just a few moments ago, but perhaps his imagination was simply running rampant.

_I wish I knew what Gibbs and the rest of the team were doing right now. _His wish that his boss would come rushing in to tell them that the whole thing was a sick joke and they could go home was now a distant memory. Gibbs wouldn't let them suffer here needlessly. That meant that either he hadn't made any progress yet, or that he _had – _and that the situation was serious. His fever seemed a pretty reliable indicator of the second option. But, no one seemed willing or ready to say anything just yet, and it was about to make him go stark-raving mad. He needed a distraction and he needed it badly.

"Kate, you know what the worst part is about being stuck here?"

His partner had been lying in her bed obsessing over all the diseases that could be infecting her body at that very moment. Every time she had something resembling a coherent thought, her uninvited bunk mate had interrupted it with a never-ending string of nonsensical chatter. On some level, in spite of his protests to the contrary, she knew it was his way of coping with fear. She just wished his coping mechanism wasn't so annoying. And loud. "I know what it is for me…" she grumbled, hoping he would take the hint.

"It's being away from my car. I haven't even had a chance to break her in yet," he sighed, either oblivious to his partner's intimation or simply choosing to ignore it.

"I suppose I should have guessed that. You've forgotten your Corvette awfully quickly. Typical man."

"Kate, Kate, Kate," he scolded, with a completely forced laugh. "I haven't _forgotten. _Just because I've found room in my heart to love another car, doesn't mean I don't still love the one I lost. I'll _never _forget her. But she's gone, and there's nothing I can do about that but move on."

She was tempted to roll her eyes, but there was something sweet and heartwarming about his response. Well, aside from the fact that the man was talking about a _car _as if it had been his soulmate, tragically taken from him at the height of their love affair. He could be so confusing. "I'm sure the two of you will be reunited soon, Tony."

"Yeah," he responded with false confidence. "You know, maybe I'll take her for a nice long weekend somewhere. Out on the open road, to let her stretch her wings and fly…"

"Why not take her for a whole week? Or how about _two?"_ Kate suggested.

"Because you'd miss me terribly if I was gone that long. And I just couldn't be that cruel to my partner. You'd be lost without me, Kate. Admit it."

She raised her eyebrows at him. Of course, there was absolutely _no _way she was ever admitting that she may have missed him, just the teeny tiniest bit, when he was in Panama City. "Why don't we give it a try, and I'll let you know," she said smugly.

He was trying to come up with an appropriate retort when Dr. Brad and Nurse Emma came in. And they were looking far more solemn than when they'd left the room a few minutes earlier.

* * *

_The plague. I have the freakin' plague. _

The room had gone painfully quiet. Brad and Emma had left, giving both their patients time to absorb the shocking information they'd just relayed. And the two caretakers also needed to discuss privately what to do about Kate – uninfected, yet refusing to leave, and allowing her partner to think she, too, was sick. It was unprecedented. It was brave. It was compassionate. It was unthinkably reckless, impulsive, and dangerous.

The idea of the plague had crossed Kate's mind, of course. McGee had mentioned the bubonic plague. This, apparently, was pneumonic plague according to what Dr. Pitt had explained to Tony a few minutes ago in an impossibly clinical tone. He would start coughing soon, his fever would spike even higher. He would develop severe pneumonia, then start coughing up blood. Thankfully, he'd stopped short of finishing the story with Tony drowning to death in his own fluids. But you didn't have to be a doctor to discern that that was the most logical outcome.

And the only emotion her partner had shown had been when she'd lied about having it too.

The reason behind Tony's earlier non-stop chattering had become clearer. _He knew. _Maybe not that it was the plague. But he knew something was wrong because she heard him ask Dr. Pitt what he had before the doctor had given him an indication that he had anything at all. He _knew…_ but still he went on talking about movies and football and that _stupid _car like he hadn't a care in the world. While _she _had been the one fretting. She could slap him. And she could hug him. And, realistically speaking, she couldn't do either, because he had the pneumonic plague and she had this _ridiculous _head cold.

But she would _not _leave him.

* * *

_I have the freakin' pneumonic plague. Me. Anthony DiNozzo. And so does Kate. Kate could die because I'm an idiot._

No one had spoken for what seemed like days, but in reality had only been a few minutes. It was Tony who broke the heavy silence first.

"Kate?" he asked in a small voice that didn't seem to her as if it could possibly have come from Tony DiNozzo.

She jumped up in a near panic. "Tony? What's wrong?" she asked breathlessly.

All pretense of humor was absent from his face, and he was openly concerned. She simply misread the source of that concern. Until he spoke again. "How do you feel?"

Kate physically jumped just slightly at the question. "_Me? _How do _I _feel?"

"D-do you feel like you have a fever? Or anything?" he asked haltingly.

It wasn't until that moment that Kate realized the full impact of her decision. _He's probably dying. And because of me, he feels guilty too. _

_But if I tell the truth, he won't let me stay. So I either let him be guilty, or let him be all alone._

_He'll eventually figure out I'm not sick. And he'll be pissed at me. But at least he won't be alone._

"I feel like I have a cold, Tony. I've been sick all day, remember?" she said in as testy a voice as she could muster. _C'mon, Tony. Get mad at me. Fight back._

"I know. I'm sorry. I just meant…."

"What? You expect me to whine about every little thing? Like you do?" She hated being so harsh. But she needed him to fight back. And fighting with Tony was one thing she'd always been a master at.

His reflexes kicked in. "I do _not _whine about every little thing. When have you heard me complain since we've been here?"

"'_I miss my car,'" _she mocked.

He was starting to sit up now. "That was _not _whining. It was a simple statement of fact. You're the one who's been griping since we got here."

_That's it Tony. Fight. _Because right now, a good fight was exactly what he needed. And she could give him one. "Mother Theresa would complain about being locked up with you for hours."

"Most people have this thing called a 'sense of humor.' You should really try it some time, K-" He was interrupted by a series of coughs.

As Nurse Emma rushed in to check on her patient, Kate settled back against the pillows on her bed never taking her eyes from her partner. Something cold and heavy settled itself down in the pit of her stomach and refused to budge.

_So it begins._

* * *

"You should go home, Timmy."

After obtaining a search warrant for Lowell Pharmaceuticals at Gibbs' directive, Agent McGee had sat down dejectedly in Abby's lab, where the younger woman had also remained in spite of the fact that there was nothing left for her to do.

"And do what?" he asked incredulously. "_Sleep? _While Tony might be dying?" _And it's all my fault._

"No one is going to die, McGee!" Abby cried out stubbornly.

"People die every day, Abby," he pronounced more coldly than he'd intended. "It's why we have jobs."

Her eyes filled with tears and he regretted his outburst immediately. "Not Tony. He wouldn't. He couldn't do that to us. Besides, Gibbs wouldn't let him."

McGee let out a long breath and rubbed at his eyes. "Gibbs is just a man. He doesn't have any say in the matter."

"I'm going to overlook that statement, since you're tired and stressed out and sad. But believe me when I say that Tony would never disappoint Gibbs like that. _Never_. You'll see."

He didn't really believe it, but he wasn't about to let Abby know that. Tim pulled her into a hug and held her there until he felt her body go limp, assured that she'd drifted off to sleep.

He simply stared at the picture on the plasma. The "moldy bread" as Gibbs had called it, with the blue tip. Also known as the monster that was currently stealing away the life of his teammate. And his friend.

* * *

"Tony, is there someone we can call for you?" Kate heard Nurse Emma ask her roommate.

_You mean like my father? Current location unknown. Doesn't answer phone calls. At least not ones from his only son._

"No. Thanks, though."

Emma nodded her understanding sympathetically. "Doctor Mallard is here by the way. He wanted me to let you know that and tell you that Gibbs will be here when he can."

"Ducky's here?" Tony said with the first hint of excitement since he'd learned he had the plague.

"Yes. I'm sorry you can't have visitors. But he's working with Doctor Pitt checking your progress. Also, I need to ask if you have a Medical Directive in place."

Tony had never even given it a second thought, surprisingly, considering his profession. And right now he wasn't sure he was thinking clearly enough to make a decision like that.

"No," he sighed, followed by a few wet-sounding coughs.

"What about a medical proxy?" Emma asked after Tony had recovered sufficiently.

He frowned in concentration. "A medical proxy? Is that where someone else can make decisions for you?"

"Yes, but only if you are unable to make them yourself."

After a moment of thought, he said softly but decisively, "I'd like to sign one of those. I want to make my boss, Agent Gibbs, my medical proxy. Just in case. Can I do that?"

If Emma was surprised that a handsome, charming, funny young man like Tony DiNozzo was willing to turn over the most important decisions of his life, not to a family member or significant other, but to his _boss – _she didn't let it show.

"I'll get the paperwork together for you."

* * *

Gibbs couldn't go home and wasn't allowed to go up to the bullpen. He had the search warrant he needed, but Lowell Pharmaceuticals and the woman he needed to see weren't ready for his arrival just yet. He'd sent Cassie to her hotel room to freshen up.

He wanted to go to the hospital so badly. They wouldn't let him in to see Tony. But if he could just _be_ there, maybe it would relieve some of this aching in his chest.

But once he was there, he feared he wouldn't be able to leave, knowing that once he left, he may never see Tony again. And he owed the younger man some answers and, most importantly, a chance at that life-saving antidote.

So instead, he was sitting here alone in the dark in autopsy. He knew McGee and Abby were still in the lab, and he supposed he could be waiting there with them. But it didn't seem right to rob them of their time alone together, and they'd be more comfortable providing each other whatever comfort they could without an audience.

How badly he wanted to speed up time, and yet slow it down as well. Each minute that ticked by brought him closer to possibly getting his hands on Tony's salvation. Yet each minute also made Tony sicker, robbing him of more and more precious breath.

_Could life really be this cruel? _Could it take Tony from him, even after he'd already lost so much?

He jumped when his phone rang, both startled and afraid. The realization that it was Ducky send a chill of anticipation and dread straight down his spine.

"Duck? How is he?" Gibbs asked, his trembling voice betraying him.

There was a long pause and the Lead Agent thought his heart may explode. "I'm afraid he's getting worse, Jethro. He's coughing quite a lot now, and his sputum is becoming bloody."

The ME was met with silence, the only evidence that the other man was still on the other line being the ever-so-faint sound of shaky breathing. He decided to continue. "The other concern is Kate. Apparently she is refusing to leave and even went so far as to allow Tony to think that she's infected as well in order to stay. I don't understand what the dear girl is thinking, Jethro."

Expecting some sort of angry outburst this time from his friend, Doctor Mallard was stunned when the only response he received was, "Tony. She's thinking about Tony, Duck."

"Yes, I understand that, but…"

"Let her stay. She's an adult. It's her choice." Gibbs knew he should've been angry, but he couldn't bring himself to be. He mostly felt grateful. There was someone else who apparently cared for Tony quite a lot, too. In spite of the pretense of hostility his two agents showed to the outside world.

"There is one more thing I need to share with you. Anthony has decided to make you his medical proxy."

"Me?" the Lead Agent asked around the stubborn constricting of his throat. _What about his father? Has Tony even called him? _Recalling the lack of response from the last time his agent had tried to call the man, he decided he wouldn't ask. If Tony didn't feel comfortable calling his father he certainly wasn't going to force the issue.

"Yes. Of course, it is unnecessary at the moment. But, should decisions need to be made, and should Anthony be unable to make them…"

"It won't come to that," Gibbs insisted.

Ducky was terribly worried about his friend's state of mind but remained silent on the matter. "Jethro, I know it's necessary for you to try to obtain the antidote." He hesitated slightly before adding the last part. "But please, do hurry."

* * *

Throughout the night and into the wee hours of the morning, Tony's coughs became louder, wetter, and arrived with increasing frequency.

He was now covered in a constant sheen of perspiration. But Kate kept pushing, and he never stopped pushing back. If he was sidetracked by a fit of coughing, he simply waited for it to subside and then picked up where he left off, often in mid-rant.

Kate had gradually moved from the bed at the far end of the room to the one next to it, just a bit closer to Tony. Then she'd found that she was spending most of her time standing, not directly next to Tony's bedside, but close enough for him to see her and talk to her without too much of a strain. Or, mostly, to argue with her.

They fought about everything Kate could come up with. She dug all the way back to the beginning of their partnership, things Tony had believed long forgotten. Tony was dying. If there was anything that might give him that extra spark to keep fighting, it was fair game.

"I'd keep an eye on my stuff with this one around, Emma. He has _no _boundaries. He'll listen to your calls, read your emails, go through your PDA…"

"I did that…" _cough _"to send you…" _cough _"flowers, Kate."

"And you should see what a suck-up he is when our boss is around. He thinks Gibbs is like Superman or something. Gibbs made a mistake once. I thought Tony was going to rip my head off."

"I don't" _cough _"think he's perfect." _Cough, cough. _"I just" _cough _"respect him" _cough "_a _lot!_"

"He doesn't have any personal boundaries either. He asks me if I'm PMSing _all _the time…"

"If you didn't" _cough "act _like" _cough _"you were PMSing" _cough _"all the time…"

"And his taste in women…let's see…there was Paula Cassidy – he practically drooled over her even after she dumped him. There was the ATF agent who was dealing in illegal arms. Then Lieutenant Kim, who egged his car right after Christmas. Of course, we mustn't forget the pre-operative transsexual…"

"Kate doesn't exactly" _cough _"bat a thousand" _cough _"when it comes" _cough "_to judging people.." _cough. _"Suzanne McNeil…" _cough, cough _ "Ari Haswari…"

"You should hear him whine about his stuff. Gibbs gave his sunglasses away once and he almost never stopped whining about it. Thought he was gonna cry…"

"DiNozzos" _cough _"don't" _cough _"cry."

"And he still goes on Spring Break.."

"Speaking" _cough _"of Spring" _cough_ "Break…"

At some point in the early morning, Doctor Pitt intervened. "It's time for Tony to rest now, Kate."

Nodding silently, she conceded, "Of course." Against the doctor's wishes, she took her place in the bed next to Tony. Dr. Pitt gave her a hard look, but said nothing, instead producing a surgical mask for her to wear. She knew if her partner thought about the situation enough, he would realize that the mask was unnecessary if they were both infected with the same disease.

Tony caught her eye. "Kate" _cough _"needs her" _cough _"rest, too."

The look Tony gave her through the feverish haze told her everything she needed to know. She'd been caught.

* * *

The fighting was finally over. Tony simply couldn't do it anymore. He was tired. _So tired._

Breathing took all of his energy now. He was only vaguely aware of his surroundings, feeling the pull of unconsciousness tugging at him every so often. Offering a much-needed escape. He wanted the escape so badly, but he was waiting for _something. _What was it again?

Someone was holding his hand now. The other hand was soft, small, warm. He struggled to focus. It was Kate. She was wearing a mask, but he could still see her eyes. They weren't angry anymore. Maybe they never really were.

Suddenly he understood it all. _She lied to me. She never had the plague. She lied to stay here with me. Even though I drive her crazy. The fighting wasn't real either. _It was a game. It was the game they played, and they played it well. It had been something familiar and _normal _to hold on to, keeping him from succumbing to the fear.

He felt guilty for all that he'd subjected her to over the past couple of years. He could be a royal pain in the butt. Maybe it was too little, too late, but he had to tell her how sorry he was….

_Stupid cough. _He couldn't get out all the words he'd wanted to say. Somehow he'd been sidetracked by James Bond and then he couldn't breathe. He was choking, drowning, then Kate was gone, and he was being pulled closer and closer to the darkness. And it was welcoming him, arms wide open ready to embrace him.

He just wished he'd been able to hold on long enough to say goodbye to Gibbs.

* * *

If Gibbs had been racing against a bat out of hell on his trip to the hospital from Lowell Pharmaceuticals, there was no doubt he would have won.

All the while, he distracted himself with all the creative suggestions he could offer to that scientist regarding exactly what he could do with his "_15%."_

Tony was _not _going to die. Not on his watch. All that time and energy he'd spent focusing on a non-existent antidote, when the answer was inside of his Senior Field Agent all along.

So, there was no antidote. So what? They didn't need one. Because it was up to Tony now. And Tony would simply do exactly what he told him to do.

_I'll just order him not to die. It's that simple. Because Tony wouldn't dare disappoint me._

On some level he felt as if he were taking an unfair advantage of the younger man's need to please him. But if that kept Tony alive, then he'd have to worry about feeling guilty later.

Right now there was more urgent business to take care of.

* * *

Kate could see him slipping away right before her eyes.

In just a few hours, the vibrant, funny, charming man who both energized and infuriated her, so full of life, had been stripped of his bravado, his strength, his breath, and now, perhaps even his very will to live.

And after putting up the fight of her own life to stay, she was finally being forced to leave, after one last look at her partner, choking, gasping. Dying.

Once the doors closed, the floodgates opened, the tears held back so forcefully refusing to be denied any longer. Ducky wrapped her gently in his arms and the only thing she could say was, "He's dying, Ducky."

But there was at least one will even stronger than her own.

She heard the growling voice from somewhere behind her. "Ah, the hell he is."

* * *

He just wanted the darkness to swallow him at long last. He couldn't do this anymore. Why wouldn't that voice simply leave him alone? Why was someone demanding his attention _now? _ Didn't they understand? His strength was all gone. He had nothing left to give.

The voice wouldn't be satisfied. Something deep in the recesses of his mind warned him that he'd better listen to it.

"Tony, listen to me." Pause. "You listening?"

Even through the haze, he knew that voice. _Gibbs. _He was going to be able to say goodbye to the man who had meant so much to him after all.

_Just a little longer, Tony. For Gibbs. You owe him this much._ "I'm li – I'm listening, Boss." He'd just barely gotten the words out.

"You will not die."

_Huh? _

_The Boss couldn't possibly be asking that. He doesn't understand. I can't do it. I must've heard him wrong._

There was a new pain. One that couldn't have been connected to the plague. This one came from outside his body and landed firmly on the top of his head. It stung, but it also held a familiar comfort, encouragement. Even a sort of love.

_I'm dying, and Gibbs just headslapped me. And Kate says I have no boundaries._

"I said_….YOU…WILL NOT….DIE"_

Only Gibbs could make a whisper sound as if the words had been bellowed instead.

There was no question about it this time. Gibbs had made it an order. Maybe he could float around in the darkness for a while, but he wouldn't be succumbing to it. Cause Gibbs was counting on him. And he seemed to remember now that the one thing he wanted more than anything else in the world was to make that man proud of him.

Somehow, impossibly, he got the words out.

"I gotcha, Boss."

He was vaguely aware of the Boss putting something in his hand…_cell phone?..._pausing just long enough to offer a reassuring pat in the process. And something about women calling and asking for "Spanky," no doubt knowing the naughty nickname would grab Tony's attention, even on his very deathbed.

Then, Gibbs was gone, and he felt himself sinking into the darkness again. But unlike before, it was without any intention of remaining there permanently.

* * *

Kate and Ducky looked on incredulously at the scene unfolding on the other side of the double glass doors. The shock was enough to abruptly put an end to Kate's weeping.

"Ducky…did I just see what I think I just saw?"

"Yes, I do believe so, Caitlin. Gibbs just struck Tony on the top of the head."

"What good is that supposed to do? Tony's sick enough without Gibbs…"

"Caitlin, I believe there is much more to that gesture than you understand. Anthony and Jethro have their own way of communicating. I assure you, Gibbs wouldn't do anything to harm Tony."

Gibbs was walking out of the double doors, but he stopped in front of Kate and Ducky.

Looking Kate in the eye, he challenged, "He's going to be fine. And I don't want to hear anybody say otherwise _anymore_, is that clear? I don't want to hear anymore 'uh-ohs,' 'oh, nos….'" Getting right up in Kate's personal space, he warned, "And I most certainly do _not_ want to hear the word _dying _one more time. Got it?"

Stunned Kate nodded her understanding.

"Good. I'll be back."

With that Gibbs strode confidently out of isolation, feeling better than he had since the disaster had started. He finally believed that Tony was going to get better. Because Tony gave him his word.

But before they could get to the better, they would have to get through the worst.


	28. Chapter 28 - Darkest Hours - Part III

**Tag for "SWAK" – sort of. This chapter occurs during the period of time after Gibbs leaves isolation but before the very last scene between Kate and Tony where, clearly after some time has passed, Tony seems to be on the mend.**

**I am in no way a medical professional, so I apologize if I get some stuff wrong for the sake of creative license.**

"**Darkest Hours – Part III"**

Soon after learning from Doctor Pitt that Tony was no longer infectious, Kate decided to return to his bedside. She once again donned the surgical mask, this time more for Tony's protection than her own. With all the drugs being pumped into her partner's system, she wasn't certain it was even possible for him to catch her head cold, but she certainly wasn't about to take that chance.

After a few moments, Ducky realized that his charge was in good hands, and felt that his efforts could be better used elsewhere at the moment, so he decided to leave the isolation area for the time being and went in search of his friend instead.

Kate retook her position to Tony's right, holding his hand in one of her own and gently caressing his arm with the other hand as she had done before. His eyes were open but unfocused, and this time she noticed no reaction to her touch. His breaths were coming in quick, shallow bursts that sounded painful to her ears.

"Tony?" she asked softly. He didn't even flinch. "Tony? It's Kate. Can you hear me?" she repeated with a bit more force. Still nothing. "Tony?" she asked a third time, in a near panic.

She didn't hear Emma's approach, but became aware of the nurse's presence when she felt a hand on her arm. "Kate," the nurse told her gently. "He has a very high fever. It's not uncommon for very ill patients to become disoriented and unaware of their surroundings."

"Oh," Kate said simply, the disappointment evident in her tone.

"That doesn't mean you should stop talking to him," Emma offered.

"I'm not sure how much that helps if he doesn't even know I'm here."

"We don't know everything about how much a patient in an altered state of consciousness can understand, but there is evidence that they can still hear you on some level. Remember, there's nothing wrong with Tony's ears and most of his brain is still functioning even if his conscious mind is unaware. It can't hurt to communicate with him. As long as you don't say anything that may be upsetting. And, at the very least, it may make _you _feel better," Emma encouraged with a reassuring smile.

"Thanks," Kate answered warmly.

"I'll give you some privacy," the nurse stated as she turned to leave the room.

Kate felt a sudden surge of fear. "Wait! What happened before…where he was choking…what if that happens again? I don't know what to do…"

"I'll be right outside and Doctor Pitt is nearby as well. I assure you I'll be keeping an eye on him and I'll be right in if you need me."

Kate was still slightly nervous, but she nodded her agreement. Once the nurse had stepped outside to her desk, Agent Todd again took her position to Tony's right. Even in his altered state of consciousness, his eyes looked frightened and miserable. She noticed he was clutching something that appeared to be a cell phone in his left hand. _Gibbs must've given that to him for some strange reason. Not like Tony's going to be making any calls for a while._

Letting go of his right hand momentarily, she attempted to free the cell phone from his grasp. However, the minute she tried to unclasp his fingers, he grabbed on to the phone with an even tighter grip and attempted to pull his hand away. "It's okay, Tony. I'm just going to take the cell phone out of your hand. I'll give it back to you when you feel better." But the sick man's eyes were wild and he became clearly agitated the more she attempted to remove the phone from his grasp.

"Okay, okay, Tony. Settle down. I'll let you keep the phone." Kate couldn't figure out why on earth Tony was grasping that cell phone for dear life, but since his conscious mind was clearly elsewhere, she realized it was wise to let the matter go.

He began to calm slightly after a few seconds, once he realized the phone was no longer being wrested from his grasp, though he retained a slight frown in his features. Feeling guilty, Kate whispered in soothing tones, "I'm sorry, Tony. I won't do it again." If she hadn't been wearing a surgical mask and trying desperately to prevent her partner from being exposed to any more germs, she may have followed the words with a gentle kiss to the forehead. But she wouldn't take the risk.

Instead, she decided to follow Emma's advice by talking to him.

"You know Tony, I'm almost afraid to admit this even while you're practically unconscious, and I just know it's gonna come back to bite me somehow, but you were right about something. When you said I'd miss you. The truth is, when you were in Panama City….I actually _may _have missed you. Briefly. Gibbs is….really, really grumpy when you aren't around. I mean, I guess that's normal. But, I could swear he was even worse than usual that week. And McGee was whiny without you there to put him back in line. And I was just….._bored…_."

She paused for a moment hopefully when it seemed like Tony may have been about to speak. He started mumbling incoherently, and Kate leaned slightly closer in an attempt to make out his words. Her heart sank when she realized he still wasn't making much sense. "_No…nomorebeer….don't….feelso…good."_

_Maybe Emma had a point after all about his subconscious mind still hearing me. Maybe he's remembering Spring Break…._She decided to continue. "Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is….don't even think about leaving us."

* * *

Armed with two steaming cups of coffee from the cafeteria, Ducky quickly located his friend sitting alone in the waiting room.

"I thought you may need this, Jethro," he offered quietly as he handed over one of the cups. "Though I suppose it isn't up to your usual standards."

Smiling briefly, his friend offered by way of a thank-you, "Ah, that's ok, Duck. Better than nothing."

Taking a seat next to the Lead Agent, Doctor Mallard wondered, "Where is Ms. Yates?"

"Cassie went back to the office to wrap up the case reports. I…couldn't leave."

"I see. And given that young Anthony hasn't been given anything, I am to assume that there was no antidote after all?" Ducky inquired hesitantly.

He could see Gibbs' jaw clench tightly. "No," he said tensely. Suddenly he jumped up and clasped his hands behind his head, beginning to wander around the room without a clear destination. "This all happened for _nothing_, Ducky. Absolutely nothing."

"What do you mean?"

Taking a deep breath to get his temper under control, Gibbs explained. "I mean that girl was never even raped. She lied out of embarrassment. And the mother's…out of her mind. Literally. Dying of a brain tumor. The scientist said that's why she thought there was an antidote when there never was one. And you know what he had the _nerve_ to tell me?"

Making a mental note that his friend was unusually talkative this evening, Ducky deduced that the release of anger and frustration was very necessary for Gibbs to cope with the events of the past few days. Encouraging the other man to continue, he simply asked, "What?"

"That Tony only had a 15% chance of surviving this. _15%. _Lucky I didn't go ahead and shoot him."

Trying to remain calm, but still sounding slightly incredulous, Dr. Mallard asked, "You held your gun on him?"

As if the question were completely ridiculous, Gibbs retorted, "Yeah. Had to make sure I got the truth. Fast. We were runnin' out of time. _Tony _was…." He couldn't seem to continue. Gibbs dropped back into his chair, all the anger draining from his system as abruptly as it had appeared.

"Jethro," his friend prodded. "What exactly did you say to Anthony earlier?"

"I told him he wouldn't die," Gibbs answered matter-of-factly.

"Yes, well, it's good to maintain a positive outlook. Anthony can use every ounce of encouragement…."

"Wasn't encouragement, Duck. I meant that I ordered him. I _ordered_ him not to die. And he damn well better listen."

The doctor was surprised at the tactic, to say the least. He hoped against hope that his friend wasn't deluding himself. Not really knowing how to respond, he managed, "Anthony does seem terribly afraid of disappointing you. It may very well work to his advantage in this particular crisis."

"It better," Gibbs threatened to no one in particular, the faintest hint of doubt attempting to creep back into his thoughts. He abruptly shoved it from his mind.

"Jethro, I am aware that Tony is our primary concern, but Caitlin has been here since yesterday morning and I'm afraid she hasn't slept…"

"I'll take care of it, Ducky. Was planning to stay with him tonight anyway."

"Are you certain, Jethro? You can't have gotten very much rest yourself."

"I grabbed a couple hours' nap on one of your tables last night." He failed to mention that the sleep had been _very _restless. "I'll be fine. Don't sleep that much anyway. You go home, too. One of us probably needs to show up at the office in the morning."

Ducky knew Agent Gibbs would be spending as much time as possible here at the hospital with Tony now that the case was wrapped and Tony was no longer contagious. It would be up to himself to report back to the Navy Yard in the morning and give the rest of the team as much of an update as possible.

"Alright, Jethro. I know you'll look after Anthony's progress. Please don't hesitate to call me if…"

Based on the threatening glare his friend was giving him, he decided it best to leave that statement incomplete.

* * *

When Gibbs very quietly re-entered isolation, he noticed Kate holding a one-sided conversation with his Senior Field Agent. She hadn't noticed his entrance, and for a moment he was very still, simply listening and observing. In spite of the seriousness of their current situation, he momentarily felt the same warmth come over him that he often felt whenever he was spying on one of his agents' animated morning bullpen conversations. She was rambling on about some college story, one he had no doubt Tony would more fully appreciate under normal circumstances, and one he had no doubt his female agent would _not _be sharing under those same normal circumstances.

Reluctantly, he wandered over to the opposite side of Tony's bed from where Kate was standing to make his presence known. She nodded at him briefly while finishing up her story, and he momentarily wondered if she had turned the tables on him and been aware of his presence all along. Kate had come a long way since their first meeting aboard Air Force One.

When she was finished speaking to Tony, she turned her attention towards their boss. "He's incoherent," she informed him. "He hasn't acknowledged me since I've been here. Keeps mumbling things." Softly, she added, "I think I heard him ask for his mother once. And there was another time…" She abruptly stopped as if debating whether or not to continue. "Gibbs, who is Wendy?"

She thought she saw Gibbs take in a slightly sharp intake of air, startled by the name. But he managed to cover quickly.

"That's something you're gonna have to wait and ask Tony when he's better." He knew the younger man would be mortified that he'd let something slip to his partner that was so deeply personal. But they had higher priorities right now, and he was certain Tony would understand his deferring the question for him to answer himself later. When he was better. _When. _It was a word his boss continued to repeat to himself whenever he was tempted to use the other, more uncertain term that began with an "i."

They stood together in silence for a moment regarding Tony. Gibbs didn't think it was possible before, but his agent actually looked even worse than when he'd left him. He was breathing so quickly and shallowly now that Gibbs wondered if he'd hyperventilate. He seemed to be trembling slightly, most likely chilled from the fever since it wasn't the least bit cold in the room. His lips and nose were still an alarming shade of blue, along with his fingertips. If Gibbs never saw that shade of blue again once Tony was on the mend, it wouldn't be too soon for him.

"Go home, Kate. I'll take it from here." It was said softly, gently, and yet left no room for debate.

"You'll call me if…"

"He'll be fine. But, yes, I'll call you if there's anything you need to know."

But there was more she wanted to discuss with her boss. "Gibbs, why weren't you angry with me? For staying, I mean, when I found out my tests were negative."

"Who says I wasn't?" he asked, without any real heat behind his words.

"C'mon, Gibbs. You make it pretty obvious when you're angry. But you aren't. I can tell."

"I know why you did it," he responded simply. "Guess I was glad you were here."

Surprised by the honest answer, Kate replied, "Well…good. I'm glad you understand. And I'm glad I did it. He was scared, Gibbs. He tried to cover it up like he always does, but I knew."

"'Course he was scared. Nothin' wrong with that," he said as if speaking directly to Tony, even though the younger man gave no indication of hearing him.

"You know, Emma, the nurse, said it was good to talk to him, even though it seems like he can't hear us. Because on some level he probably can. So maybe you should…" She caught a glimpse of what appeared to be an amused raised-eyebrow expression on the man's face in front of her and remembered. "Never mind. Forgot who I was talking to. Maybe you could just clear your throat every now and then so he knows you're still here," she suggested.

"He'll know I'm here," Gibbs offered assuredly.

"Sometimes he starts coughing and can't stop, and then every now and then he starts choking. It's really frightening. He needs to be sat up when that happens and then either the nurse or doctor start pounding on his back to loosen the phlegm…."

"_Go home, _Kate. I promise to take good care of him."

"Right," she said uncertainly. She caressed Tony's arm gently one last time, smiling down at him and squeezing his hand gently. "I'll be back later, Tony. Don't…go anywhere. I still have lots of stories to tell you." She gave his hand one last squeeze, wishing she could offer more comfort, and then reluctantly left isolation for the second time that day.

Hoping and praying she'd still have the opportunity and a reason to return the next day.

* * *

Gibbs stepped closer to the bedside of his Senior Field Agent, taking in the pale pallor of the younger man's face and the pained but determined expression there. "I get the distinct impression that Agent Todd thinks I don't know what I'm doing," he said wryly to the younger man as if it were some shared joke between them. Tony's facial expression didn't change. He hadn't really expected it to, but still felt a slight sting of disappointment that he'd received no reaction.

He noticed that Tony seemed to still be clinging desperately to the cell phone he'd placed in his hand hours earlier. While the action had confused Kate entirely, Gibbs smiled at the sight. He was pretty sure he knew why the young man was clinging so tightly to that phone and he had an idea that would keep him from having to come up with conversation topics the entire night.

With more force than Kate had used, he wrested the phone from Tony's grasp. Momentarily, his agent panicked, flailing his arm in the air wildly grabbing at nothing. However, almost immediately, Gibbs replaced the phone with his own hand. It was a different grasp than Kate had used. Instead of soft and nurturing, this grasp was firm and strong. Reinforcing his grip, he placed his other hand on top of their two clasped hands and squeezed tightly, holding it there firmly, and resting their three-handed clasp on the side of Tony's bed.

Tony stilled immediately. The frown that had been etched on his face since Gibbs had arrived was smoothed over. His breathing, while still shallow and labored, slowed slightly. And the eyes that had been staring fearfully into space, unseeing, slipped closed.

"That's it, Tony. Rest. I've got your six," Gibbs whispered. In a self-satisfied tone, he added, "I _told _her you'd know I was here."

* * *

Tony was under water. He was just below the surface, able to see the reflection of the sunlight glistening on the water just above him. He couldn't breathe, but he couldn't quite slip down into the abyss of darkness below him either.

There was a rope in his hand, and his grip was tenuous at best. Every time he felt himself slipping further down below the surface, the rope pulled him up just long enough to gasp for the precious air he needed so desperately. But when he tried to stay above water, his body always betrayed him and he slipped back below the surface again.

He was terrified of letting go of that rope. He'd almost lost his hold a few times, but he'd fought for it. Hard.

Suddenly, the rope was gone and he was sinking. The darkness was so tempting and his muscles screamed in protest as he flailed his arms, struggling to reach the surface, desperate for something, _anything, _to hold onto.

Two strong hands reached in and enveloped his own in an iron grip. His aching muscles cried out in relief and he relaxed, allowing the hands to lead him, pulling him to the surface just when he needed it.

He didn't have to worry about letting go anymore, because he was no longer struggling to maintain his fragile grip on the rope. The hands were holding _him, _doing the work for him.

And for reasons he didn't fully understand, he completely trusted these hands not to let go until he reached the shore.

* * *

When Doctor Pitt walked in, Gibbs looked down at his and Tony's clasped hands looking momentarily sheepish, but didn't let go.

Gibbs was clearly a macho man type, not comfortable with expressing emotion, particularly where another man was concerned. Yet it was also clear to the doctor that this young man was more than just his agent. There was a deep personal connection between them, vitally important somehow to them both. Brad also hadn't failed to note that the presence of family members on Tony's behalf was lacking, and had also been made aware that his patient had named his boss as his medical proxy. Yet more proof that family had less to do with blood than most people might assume.

Sensing the Lead Agent's dilemma, Brad broke the uncomfortable silence. "You know, Tony seems more relaxed since you got here. You must be doing something right. Whatever it is, keep doing it."

"How's he doing? Any change?" Gibbs asked with some trepidation.

"No significant change." Seeing the concern his answer caused, the doctor hastened to add, "That also means he hasn't gotten any worse in the last several hours."

"So that's a good sign, right?" the older man prodded.

"I can't make any false promises. But it's certainly something to be thankful for. I'm sure it hasn't hurt that he's had someone with him ever since he got here. You and Agent Todd obviously care about him very much."

While Gibbs didn't answer verbally, he allowed a tiny smile to indicate his agreement. "Not used to him being this quiet," the Lead Agent observed.

"Oh, you should've heard him earlier. I'll bet you have your hands full with him and Agent Todd. Between you and me, I think he's charmed my nurse."

"Doesn't surprise me," Gibbs said proudly.

"Would you believe that Tony and I played football against each other in college? He broke his leg in that game. Of course, he tried to blame me."

_Maybe there really are such things as coincidences. _"He's told me about that game." Gibbs wondered how Tony felt about being treated by a guy who brought back such a traumatic memory, but when the doctor mentioned how they'd discussed Tony's Spring Break trip and his beer bonging ability, he realized Tony had probably found a certain degree of camaraderie with his doctor.

Their conversation was interrupted when Tony began coughing. The younger man's eyes flew open in a panic and Gibbs realized he was choking.

With confident ease, the doctor sat Tony in an upright position and began pounding on his patient's back with precision to loosen the phlegm. Offering his assistance, Gibbs took one of his hands and wrapped it around Tony's shoulders, leaning the younger man's weight fully against his chest while never releasing his grasp on Tony with the remaining hand. He noticed that the younger man practically collapsed against him, all of his strength having been sapped by the illness ravaging his body. It made Gibbs angry all over again at the injustice of the situation.

Once that crisis was over, Gibbs gently eased his Senior Field Agent back onto the bed, rearranging the sheets around him and retaking his double grip on Tony's hand. He was gratified when the younger man once again appeared to relax and close his eyes.

Turning to Doctor Pitt, Gibbs asked, "You know that pounding thing you do when he starts choking? Need you to show me how to do that. For when he gets out of here."

_When, not if. _"Sure Agent Gibbs. I like the way you think."

* * *

Ducky gathered Abby, Tim, and Jimmy together in autopsy the next morning. Fortunately, no new cases had come in, since Tony was out of commission, Gibbs was firmly planted at the hospital, and poor Kate was home getting some much needed rest.

Abby was the first to ask, "How's Tony really doing, Ducky? Please say he's going to be okay."

"I won't lie to you Abigail. Anthony has quite a battle ahead of him, but so far he's been holding his own. I spoke with Doctor Pitt earlier and there has been no significant change in his condition overnight."

"What does that mean, exactly?" Tim asked.

"Well, Tony still has a very severe case of pneumonia, brought on by the plague. He still shows signs of cyanosis and right at the moment he is rather disoriented. But he's still alive and the pneumonia has not progressed any further since last night. I wish I could give you more, but at this point it's practically a miracle that Tony's made it this far. Let's take that as a good sign, shall we?"

Jimmy nodded, but Abby and McGee appeared less convinced. Abby raised her hand.

"Yes, Abigail?"

"When can we see him?"

Ducky noticed that McGee looked almost queasy at the thought, but didn't comment. "I think it would be best if you waited until he's a little better. Gibbs and Kate have been with him. He's had no shortage of caretakers, believe me."

Abby looked disappointed, but grudgingly agreed to continue waiting. She really hated waiting.

"Agent McGee, Gibbs wanted me to inform you that you are in charge while he, Tony, and Kate are absent. But you are welcome to call him or Kate if any issues arise."

McGee's eyes widened temporarily, recalling the last time he'd been in charge. At least they weren't currently in the midst of an undercover mission gone terribly wrong this time. As long as he didn't have to deal with the Deputy Secretary of State again, he figured everything would be ok.

The memory of that disaster brought to mind a fonder memory as well. He recalled how Tony had congratulated him for standing up to the Deputy Secretary of State. He'd even given him a, "good job." Agent McGee had felt so proud of himself at that moment.

Not anymore. He just hoped he would have the chance one day to tell Tony how sorry he was for handing him that envelope full of pneumonic plague.

* * *

It had been a long night. At some point, Doctor Pitt had brought Gibbs a chair and maneuvered it over to Tony's beside for him, so that he wouldn't have to loosen his grip on Tony's hand.

He had a cramp in each of his wrists, he was tired, and his neck hurt. And he really, really needed some coffee right now. But there was no way he was letting go of Tony's hand.

As he looked down at the limp hand he held in his own, he could have sworn the fingertips were less blue than they had been last night. But maybe he was just hoping for that to be the case.

As he was studying the hand, a pair of green eyes were fluttering open. This time, instead of a vacant gaze, they looked around curiously as if trying to recall where they were.

They landed somewhere to the patient's left and settled themselves on the disheveled figure of a silver-haired man with a severe Marine haircut. The man was looking down at his hands, so the patient mustered every ounce of strength he had remaining to get his attention.

The sound was hoarse and very faint. Yet Gibbs would remember it long after as one of the loveliest sounds he'd ever heard.

"Boss?"


	29. Chapter 29 - Darkest Hours - Part IV

**Tag for "SWAK" continued.**

**There will probably be either three or four more chapters after this one before I wrap up Season 2 and start on Season 3. This one and the next one will cover Tony's recovery period, then either one or two chapters that cover the events of "Twilight" and a final chapter that will cover the moments directly following the end of "Twilight." Then of course the first story of Season 3 will pick up shortly thereafter, since only a few hours pass between those episodes.**

"**Darkest Hours – Part IV"**

"Boss?"

Though faint, Gibbs' eyes shot up immediately upon finally hearing the familiar voice of his Senior Field Agent once again. He was relieved to realize that he hadn't been imagining the tentative question. A pair of green eyes were fixed upon his face, and this time it was evident that they were present in the here-and-now.

"'Bout time you decided to rejoin us, DiNozzo," he answered gruffly, but even in his still-slightly-confused state, Tony noticed that the sudden light in his boss' eyes contradicted the abrupt tone of his voice.

"How…long?" Tony inquired feebly.

"Last conversation I had with you that made any sense was yesterday afternoon. And right now it's….0930."

Tony was silent, but his boss could see him processing the information. That was followed by another question, this time unspoken. Nevertheless, the Lead Agent understood perfectly and answered without missing a beat.

"Sent Kate home last night to get some rest. She's okay. Worried about you, but I told her you'd be fine. She'll be back later."

As if anticipating the next unspoken question, Doctor Pitt arrived, accompanied by his x-ray technician. Noticing that his patient seemed to be having a conversation with the man who had remained by his bedside all night, the doctor couldn't help a relieved grin.

"Tony. Good to see your eyes open again. Just in time for us to take some more pictures so we can see how those lungs are doing."

Gibbs knew he would need to get out of the doctor's way so they could do what they needed to do, but that would also mean relinquishing the hold on Tony's hand that he'd maintained for hours. Squeezing tightly, he turned his attention back to his agent. "Tony, I need to go call Ducky while they're taking your x-rays. I'll be right back. You follow Doctor Pitt's orders while I'm gone," he added with a slight hint of teasing.

He felt a very slight pressure on his hand as Tony tried with what little strength he had to squeeze his hand in return. "On it….Boss."

He understood the unspoken message perfectly. Tony had finally granted him permission to let go.

* * *

Ducky hurried back to Bethesda immediately after receiving Gibbs' call, stopping only long enough to ask Jimmy Palmer to relay to the rest of the team that Tony was awake and alert again and that they would soon have an update on his condition.

Now he stood with Gibbs in Doctor Pitt's office viewing the results of Tony's most recent x-rays.

"As I'm sure you figured out, Tony's fever is going down. Some of the cyanosis has also receded, and, while Agent DiNozzo still has a very severe case of pneumonia, his x-rays do appear to show a slight improvement in the condition of his lungs."

Looking to Ducky for further confirmation, Gibbs asked, "So, he's going to be okay?"

"I don't think Doctor Pitt is ready to go quite that far just yet, Jethro, but it's certainly a positive sign. Am I interpreting correctly, Doctor?"

"Tony's not out-of-the-woods yet by far. It will take weeks for him to recover, and that's provided he doesn't have some sort of relapse, which is a possibility. However, considering where we were this time yesterday, even I have to admit that this is pretty amazing."

Gibbs knew what Tony's next question would be as soon as he was strong enough and alert enough to think of it. With a tightening of the perpetual knot in his stomach, he asked, "Will he be able to return to work?" and almost held his breath in anticipation of the answer. Now that he wasn't facing the high probability that Tony would die, his new concern had become the possibility of having to tell the younger man that he could never again be a federal agent. He was afraid such news would destroy Tony.

"Again, he has a long recovery period ahead of him and it's going to take weeks, maybe months, for Agent DiNozzo to return to his previous level of fitness. But, provided he doesn't have any setbacks, I don't see any reason he wouldn't eventually be able to return to work."

Gibbs let out the breath he'd been holding and closed his eyes momentarily. The news just kept getting better.

Seeing the other man's relief, Doctor Pitt felt it prudent to continue. "Agent Gibbs, I know this is all very good news, but I don't want to sugarcoat anything. Tony's lungs will be permanently scarred from this. Even after he returns to work, this is a life-changing event for Agent DiNozzo. His lungs will be weakened, so he'll have to be extra vigilant about anything that could cause respiratory distress. Any sign of a cold or a sniffle, and Tony should get it checked out right away just in case."

"That could prove to be a challenge. Anthony is already difficult to persuade to seek medical treatment, and I imagine this experience will only make it even more difficult," Ducky observed.

"He'll be careful, cause he knows I'll kick his butt if he doesn't," Gibbs assured them both.

Brad allowed himself a slight chuckle at Gibbs' statement. "I don't doubt that at all, Agent Gibbs."

Turning to his friend, Ducky steered the conversation in a slightly different direction. "Jethro, do you wish for me to call Caitlin to give her an update, or would you prefer to do the honors yourself?"

Knowing the news would make Kate's day, Gibbs chose to relay the information himself.

* * *

After a fitful night's rest, Kate had showered and was shoving down a sparse breakfast while planning a return trip to the hospital, even though she was fearful of what she might find when she arrived there.

When her phone rang and she saw that it was her boss, her heart nearly stopped. The Lead Agent didn't miss the slight catch in her voice when she answered.

"Gibbs? Has there been a change? Please tell me he's not…." She couldn't get the rest of the words out.

"He's not. In fact, he's awake and he's asking for you." Even though Tony had asked the question with his eyes, it wasn't a lie.

"He's….he's awake? Is he better?" Kate asked, trying not to give herself false hope.

"Fever's coming down. His fingers aren't as blue, and his x-rays are a little better. He's just really tired, so take it easy on him today, Agent Todd."

"But, what does all that mean? Is he going to be okay?" Kate pressed.

"You know how doctors are. Pitt's being cautious, but Ducky says it's a good sign. And since I ordered him to be…. I'd say yeah, Kate. He's gonna be okay."

When she hung up, Kate cried for a second time in the last 24 hours. But this time they were tears of relief.

* * *

As happy as he was to have the company of Gibbs and Kate throughout the day, Tony simply couldn't keep his eyes open for very long stretches of time. At one point, Gibbs had sensed the younger man was struggling, so he leaned in and softly commanded him, "Go to sleep, DiNozzo. You don't have to keep us entertained." Immediately, his Senior Field Agent had closed his eyes and allowed his entire body to go limp.

Abby had called Gibbs and asked once again about the possibility of coming to visit Tony. Afraid that the young woman's exuberance might wear Tony out in his present state, he managed to put her off for one more day. "Abs, he's mostly sleeping today. I'm sure he's gonna want to talk to you when you're here. Let's see how he's doing tomorrow, okay?"

She had sighed in disappointment, but after making Gibbs promise to let Tony know how much she missed him, she reluctantly complied.

As evening approached, Gibbs began to feel the effects of several nights in a row plagued by either nightmares, worry, or the responsibility of keeping Tony going through his fever-induced disorientation. He tried to stifle a yawn, but Kate noticed, and saw it as her opportunity to make a request.

"Gibbs, you must be exhausted. I was able to go home last night while you stayed here with Tony. Why don't you let me stay with him tonight?"

He was reluctant to leave, but promised Kate he'd think about it. He was finally convinced a while later when a groggy Tony opened his eyes, looked at his companion, and weakly quipped, "You look….like crap, Boss."

"Gee, thanks, DiNozzo. Have I mentioned what _you_ look like lately?" Gibbs retorted with good humor.

Tony became serious, however. "Go home…Boss….._please?"_

He had to admit he was caught. Gibbs was thoroughly exhausted, just as Kate had observed. He told Kate that he'd go home and let her stay on the condition that she would ask Doctor Pitt if she could use one of the other beds in isolation and at least attempt to get some sleep herself.

Tony had appeared to be asleep when Kate came in, but he was merely resting. Spending so much time with Kate, he had become accustomed to certain things about her. Her scent, her breathing patterns, the sound of her footsteps. So when she quietly entered the isolation chamber and took her place on the bed beside him, he immediately knew that she was the one who had entered the room.

Feeling slightly playful again, finally, after he'd slept most of the day and didn't have to focus 100% of his attention on breathing, he decided to try to annoy his partner with a movie reference, calling back to their conflict that now seemed a lifetime ago.

"This reminds me…of the end of 'Alien.'"

He expected a smart retort, even if a good-natured one. He didn't expect to hear Kate simply laugh.

Ever since she'd received the wonderful news earlier that day, she'd been in the mood to laugh. After a couple of days that had been almost surreal, she'd been struck by the sheer normalcy of the comment. It was almost as if they were back in the bullpen and he was purposefully trying to get under her skin, but instead of being irritated, it filled her with a happiness she'd wondered if she could ever feel again.

He decided to try again. "I think….they should make a movie….about me…you think….they could get…the _real_ Brad Pitt?"

She laughed louder this time. "Only if Angelina Jolie plays me."

"I _knew…_you had a thing…for my doctor. Want me to…ask him out…for you? Better than…that lawyer guy…you've been seeing. What's his name?...'Smelly guy?'"

This had Kate laughing almost uncontrollably. She'd made a stray comment to Abby about not liking the how the attorney she'd been seeing smelled, which her friend had found hysterically funny, and her partner had quite unfortunately overheard. Remembering how annoyed she'd been when Tony had started referring to her date as "Smelly guy," for some reason she now found it incredibly amusing. Emma was right. Tony _was _really funny. And oh, how she had missed it.

They continued until they were both worn out from laughing so hard. It had become quiet again and Kate assumed her partner had finally succumbed to sleep. But then she heard a quiet and relatively somber, "Kate?"

She turned on her pillow to find Tony's lovely green eyes regarding her with an expression she didn't recall ever seeing before. "Yes, Tony?" she asked kindly.

"Thanks."

She didn't have to ask what that was for. He was thanking her for staying, and forgiving her for allowing him to temporarily believe he'd infected her, so that she could give him the impetus and the motivation to fight, and to keep fighting as long as possible. She smiled warmly at him and in soothing tones urged him, "Go to sleep, Tony. I'll see you in the morning."

His eyes finally drifted closed again as he remembered the pleasant sounds of Kate's earlier peals of laughter. He thought it was a beautiful sound.

He had been making a list of things he wanted to do when he was finally well again. He made a mental note to add another item to that list.

_Make Kate laugh more._

* * *

The next day, Abby simply couldn't be held off for any longer. Tony had graduated to sitting up and wasn't sleeping quite as much. Though still very weak, Gibbs finally felt that he had progressed enough to be able to handle a brief visit from the rest of the team.

Jimmy agreed to join her eagerly, but Tim, who didn't vocalize any objections, was obviously uncomfortable with the idea. Still, he could never say no to Abby.

"Tonyyyyy…." Abby said with her usual exuberance as soon as she saw Tony. She ran over to where he was now sitting up in bed, propped against several pillows. Unable to give him a full hug, she settled for an enthusiastic kiss on the cheek. "Oh my gosh, you have _no _idea how much we've missed you. You really scared us! Especially Gibbs – you should've seen him. He practically bit my head off when we were trying to find out who did this to you, and Gibbs _never _yells at me, so you know it was because he was scared, and McGee's been feeling so…."

"_Abby," _Tim intervened. "You're rambling. Give him a minute to catch up."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Tony! How do you feel?"

Tony practically beamed at the sight of his coworkers, not to mention that he was finally able to soak up all the attention he was receiving. "A lot better…than a couple of days ago, Abs. Just a little…tired. And sore." Actually, Tony was still incredibly tired and weak, but he didn't want to discourage his friends and drive them away any sooner than necessary. He was beginning to go a little stir crazy.

"Awww, Tony. You poor thing. I wish I could do something."

"I'm just glad…to see you, Abs," Tony responded sincerely. "Glad to see…all of you. How's work?"

This time, Jimmy piped in. "Agent DiNozzo, you're the talk of the agency. You're almost _legendary. _Most of the other agents thought for sure you wouldn't…."

"_Palmer_! What the hell are you doing?" Tim admonished.

But Tony was both amused and intrigued. "So they all thought I'd kick the old bucket, huh? What…was the word you used again?..._Legendary?_"

"Yeah. You know Agent Gibbs was told the odds of you surviving an antibiotic-resistant form of the plague were 15%, but it may have been even lower than that because…."

"_Palmer!"_

"Whoa, Probie…take it easy," Tony cut in, wondering more about what had gotten into Agent McGee than about Palmer, who was simply being his usual friendly but socially awkward self.

Knowing a little something about what was going on with Tim, Abby jumped in with an explanation, though one that was only partially accurate. "Timmy's just been worried about you. Guess he's a little more on edge than usual. You'll have to excuse him. Plus, he's been the only agent in the office for the past few days and that's been kind of stressful. Right, McGee?"

"Yeah. Sorry, Tony," the Probie offered, carefully avoiding Tony's now-penetrating gaze.

"No problem….you tell anyone else to….stick it lately,McGee?" Tony asked jokingly, hoping to get a smile out of the younger man.

He got one, but it was very slight, forced, and obviously fake. "Uh, no, haven't had the opportunity yet this week, Tony."

"So things must be…quiet without me there, huh?" Tony hinted.

"Not just you. Gibbs and Kate have been out too, 'cause they've been here with you." Realizing she may have unintentionally diminished the extent to which Tony was missed, Abby quickly covered, "But mostly because you aren't there! Everyone _really _misses you."

"I'll try to…put you out of your misery, soon…." Tony promised but was abruptly cut off when he had a coughing attack. The attack eventually passed, but he was left winded and tired, and sank back into his pillows fighting to regain his breath.

Sensing that their friend needed his rest, the three politely took their leave, Abby giving Tony another kiss before turning for the exit.

"Hey, Probie," Tony called, practically whispering now. He beckoned with his head for the younger man to come closer, partially so the other two wouldn't hear their conversation and partially because Tony's strength and his voice weren't strong enough at the moment to project across the room.

McGee nervously came closer to Tony's bed and leaned in. "What is it, Tony?"

"Was gonna…ask you the same thing… What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Tony," Tim lied. "Just tired I guess. Feel better soon."

But it was too late. Tony's "Gibbs gut" was now on high alert. The Probie was clearly very upset about something, but DiNozzo just couldn't put his finger on what that could be. Not yet.

_I'm gonna get to the bottom of that. As soon as I feel better._

* * *

Tony had been greatly relieved to learn that he would eventually be returning to work, but now that he was gradually on the road to recovery, and since the visit from his coworkers the previous day, he was itching to speed up the process. He was beginning to feel as if he may just lose his mind if he stayed in the hospital much longer.

"When can I go home, Boss?" he asked Gibbs the next morning.

"Tony," the older man sighed. "You'll get there, but you're gonna have to be patient. You can barely feed yourself and get up to go to the head as it is."

His answer left his agent looking the most dejected he'd seen him since before he'd turned the corner and started to heal.

Gibbs tried to reason with him. "You almost died, DiNozzo. Can't expect to jump out of bed and go back to work tomorrow."

"I don't expect to go back to work _tomorrow. _I just want to go home," Tony pleaded. "I _hate _this place, Boss. It reminds me of…"

His agent didn't have to finish the thought. The place wasn't one Gibbs particularly wanted to remember either. It would be a lot easier to get the haunting image of Tony gasping for every breath out of his head if he weren't still here every day in the same physical surroundings where the horror had occurred.

"Can't make you any promises, but I'll talk to Doctor Pitt."

* * *

"I'd like to take Tony home with me for the weekend," Gibbs told the doctor, in an attempt to make it sound as more of an order than a request.

Brad was flabbergasted. "Agent Gibbs, Tony can't even walk from Point A to Point B without it taking everything out of him."

"He won't be doing much walking around at my house. I'll be with him all the time. He can sit around there just as well as he can here. And it'll be better for him to be somewhere familiar." _And better for you too, _Gibbs mentally added. _Cause he's gonna drive you crazy if he has to stay here much longer. You and me both._

"Okay, but what happens on Monday when you have to go back to work? He's still going to need someone with him."

"Thought of that already. I talked to our Director. Since Tony became ill as a result of the job, NCIS has agreed to have a nurse come in during the day however long he needs one. Either Agent Todd or myself can be there in the evenings."

Doctor Pitt gave a long, thoughtful sigh. But after a few moments' consideration, he conceded. "Agent Gibbs, normally this would go against my better judgment, but this hasn't been a regular case from the beginning. And Tony has responded better to having you around than anything we've been able to do for him. If you're willing to take this on, I'll let you take him home. But only if I have your word that you'll bring him straight back here at the first hint that anything is wrong."

"You have my word," Gibbs swore truthfully.

"Alright, I'll get the paperwork started." _And hope I'm not making a huge mistake._

* * *

Tony had been beyond ecstatic to learn that Agent Gibbs had secured his release from the hospital in time for the weekend. Now, however, they had just pulled into his boss' driveway, and as the weakened man eyed the walk from the car to the front door, and then considered the effort it would take him just to get into bed for the night, he realized he may have been hasty. He couldn't imagine from where he was going to summon the strength he would need, and the idea of being so physically dependent on Gibbs was humiliating.

As he gingerly reached over to unfasten his seat belt, Gibbs admonished as if he'd read his thoughts, "Don't even think about getting out yet, DiNozzo. You sit there and relax a minute until I come around to help you."

Normally he may have bristled at being treated like a child, but he was so incredibly tired, he simply nodded his understanding.

Soon, Gibbs was opening his door and squatting down in front of him. "Ok, Tony, legs first."

Very carefully, Tony lifted his legs shakily and pivoted to his right, setting both feet on the pavement, and then pausing to catch his breath.

"That's a good job. Just rest a minute and let me know when you're ready. I'm gonna have you put your arm around my shoulders so I can help you get out." Gibbs was showing uncharacteristic patience, but Tony was silently wondering how long the older man's patience was going to hold out when faced with a whole weekend of this.

After about thirty seconds, Tony nodded his assent. Gibbs very gently helped Tony put his arms around his shoulders and then wrapped his own arm carefully around the younger man's waist. Tony was very slowly able to stand, but immediately was forced to lean most of his weight onto his boss. Gibbs was once again struck by how weak his agent had become in just a few short days, and had to force down another wave of anger at the situation, fearing the younger man would think it was directed at him.

Gibbs was a strong and physically fit man for his age, but DiNozzo was far from light and the older man could feel the strain on his already-weak knee. He was very cautious to hide the pain from his agent, however, knowing how awkward this would already be for a young man used to being so independent. At last, they made it inside, and Gibbs immediately deposited Tony, who was now panting for air, on his couch.

"Rest there for a little while, Tony. I'll get your stuff out of the car and finish getting the guest room ready."

Tony was too winded to even offer a verbal response, again only offering a curt nod by way of reply. _Brad was right. I probably wasn't ready to leave the hospital. But it's so nice to be in this house again. _Tony had always thought of his boss' house as sparse and no-frills, but compared with the sterile environment he'd just left, filled with memories he wanted to forget as soon as possible, right now it looked like heaven to him. He allowed himself to lean back and close his eyes, dozing off almost immediately.

Meanwhile, Gibbs brought in the bag containing the items Tony had had him pick up from his apartment and took it into the guest room. He'd already turned down the bed, but decided to arrange Tony's medication, along with a glass of water, on the bedside table so the young man wouldn't have any reasons to need to get up any more than necessary.

When everything was finally ready, he made his way over to the couch where he noticed Tony snoring softly. In spite of his awkward pose, Gibbs thought his face looked more at peace than at any time he'd seen him in the hospital over the past few days. He'd had some concerns about Tony leaving the hospital so soon, but now he was feeling particularly good about the decision. Being here was good for Tony's peace-of-mind, and certainly that would help him heal more quickly than anything they could do for him now at the hospital.

"C'mon, DiNozzo," he beckoned gently, shaking the younger man's shoulder slightly. "Just a few more minutes and then you can sleep in the bed as long as you want."

"Mmmm, Boss?" Tony asked blearily, cracking his eyes open just a slit. Then, he realized with a start that he must have dozed off. "Oh, gosh. Didn't mean…to fall asleep on you."

"It's okay, Tony. Need you to help me get you up." They resumed the stance they'd taken when Gibbs had helped his agent into the house, and this time the older man directed him to the bathroom, where he already had Tony's t-shirt and sweatpants laid out and his toothbrush ready for him.

"Wow, you're really…prepared, Boss. Were you a….boy scout?" Tony quipped, trying to allay the discomfort of the situation.

"Marine, DiNozzo. Think you can lean against the sink while I help you change your clothes?"

Tony's shoulders tensed immediately. "Uh, I can probably handle that, Boss," he said, his face flushing in embarrassment. He hadn't even considered that he would need his boss' help with something as basic as changing his clothes. He was regretting this decision more and more every minute.

"DiNozzo. You can barely stand. Suck it up and let me help you." His boss didn't mean to sound impatient, but there was _no _way he was going to leave Tony when he was afraid the young man was going to fall over any second.

Too tired to fight about it, Tony swallowed his pride and allowed his boss to help him change. But he insisted that he could lean up against the sink and brush his teeth all by himself.

The Lead Agent tried to hide a grin at how much his agent was beginning to sound like a petulant child. "Okay, Tony."

Brushing his teeth took what little energy he had left. Fortunately, it was only a few steps to the guest room, and a few more to the bed. When he got there, he fell into bed more than he sat on it. Gibbs carefully pulled back the covers and helped the younger man lay down.

Without even realizing he was doing it, the Lead Agent began arranging the covers around Tony. Beyond exhausted, his agent suddenly found the entire situation hysterical and began giggling.

With a smirk, Gibbs inquired, "Something funny, DiNozzo?"

"You're tucking me in, Boss. You have to admit it's a little funny. Are you gonna give me a goodnight kiss, too?"

Gibbs raised his eyebrows in amusement, but Tony's eyes suddenly widened as he realized what he'd just said.

"Just kidding…Boss. Maybe Brad snuck me some painkillers…without me knowing it….and I'm acting all….loopy."

"Didn't notice you acting much different than usual, DiNozzo," his boss deadpanned. Deciding to enjoy the lighthearted moment just a bit longer, Gibbs leaned in closer to Tony and the younger man's eyes widened even further as he wondered what his boss was thinking.

_Whack! _

The headslap was almost identical to the one Gibbs had delivered in the hospital, only this time the older man was grinning almost mischievously.

"I'll be right outside on the couch if you need anything. Do not even _think _about getting out of this bed without help. Good night, DiNozzo."

With that, his boss left the room, trying not to limp noticeably on the knee that was now throbbing painfully so that Tony wouldn't notice. He switched off the light on his way out.

Tony briefly wondered again how they were going to get through a whole weekend like this. But the bed was so soft and comfortable, it was quickly forgotten. His head still stung a little from the slap, but it was a nice sting. It reminded him of the man who had gotten him through the most frightening hours of his life.

The last thought he had before falling asleep was that perhaps the headslap _was _the Leroy Jethro Gibbs version of a goodnight kiss. He wanted to laugh again at the thought, but he was too tired, instead falling asleep still wearing a half-smile.

Finally, he'd begun to truly believe that everything really was going to be okay.


	30. Chapter 30 - Darkest Hours - Part V

**Tag for "SWAK." The next chapter will pick up during "Twilight."**

**I'm starting to feel sad (sniff, sniff). And I started this project not even really liking Kate. **

"**Darkest Hours – Part V"**

It was late afternoon on Saturday, and Tony, from his own position on the living room couch, kept stealing furtive glances at his boss, who was busy doing _something_ at the kitchen table. Tony had been stationed there for most of the day, having noticed that at some point Gibbs had moved the television and the DVD player that Tony had once used from the guest room to its current spot in the living room.

There had been other changes the younger man assumed had been made for his benefit as well. He'd been concerned about taking a shower that morning, wanting to be self-sufficient but unsure if he had the physical strength to do so. Then he'd noticed a hand bar and a plastic stool in the shower that he knew hadn't been there just a few short months ago. Obviously, Gibbs had been planning his current visit for a few days. He was probably even planning it around the same time some of his fellow agents had still been expecting to hear news any moment of his demise. The man certainly had faith in Tony to follow his orders.

However, Tony was getting bored with watching tv, and furthermore starting to worry that he was becoming an undue burden on his host. The incapacitated agent had known _he _probably wouldn't be making any trips down to the basement during this visit due to the stairs. What he hadn't intended was for the man who lived here to feel as if he had to avoid it as well. Gibbs hadn't been down there to work on his boat once all day, and it was making his houseguest feel more than a bit guilty.

Clearing his throat, Tony awkwardly decided to make the suggestion. "Hey, Boss? You know, I'm fine here. If you want to work on your boat or anything…."

Gibbs looked up from whatever he'd been working on at the kitchen table with an odd expression. After studying the younger man closely for a few seconds, he simply responded, "Boat's not going anywhere, DiNozzo," and went back to his former task.

After pausing a few seconds, Tony decided to try again. "I just don't want to keep you from anything."

"You're not. There's nothing important enough that it can't wait a few more days," Gibbs quickly responded.

After an awkward silence, the houseguest asked curiously, "So, what're you doing over there, Boss?"

At this, the Lead Agent grinned and put down his tools. "Tony, are you trying to tell me you're bored?"

The younger man _was _bored, but hadn't meant to let on. Embarrassed, he tried to cover, "That's not what I meant. I just….I didn't want to feel like I'm putting you out by being here or anything. And I guess sometimes I ramble a little bit….Sorry, Boss. I'm fine, really. Go back to doing – whatever it is you're doing."

Gibbs had been afraid Tony would start to feel restless after having his activities so severely limited. Unfortunately, his own quiet demeanor was hardly cut out for stimulating conversation, so his charge had been stuck watching movies all day. And as much as the younger man loved his movies, his boss knew he needed another outlet.

"It's about dinner time. And I happened to get some steaks. How about I go ahead and get them started?" Gibbs asked.

Tony tried to appear enthusiastic, though his stomach was rebelling. Food just wasn't appealing to him at the moment, but he didn't want to appear ungrateful. "Sure. That sounds great."

The lack of genuine excitement was noted, and the older man was concerned. His guest had scarcely eaten anything all day, and it hadn't been for a lack of suggestions on his part. Tony had picked at both his breakfast and his lunch. Gibbs had hoped the steaks would garner some interest, but clearly the younger man was simply being polite.

"If you don't want steak, we can order pizza. Or something else if that's what you want," his boss offered.

"No, really, the steak sounds fine. It's just that I'm not very hungry is all. The thought of food just still makes me feel kind of sick," the younger man admitted.

Gibbs had to keep reminding himself that Tony wasn't going to be better overnight. He just hated how thin and pale his agent had become in just a few days' time. He could almost hear Ducky's voice in his head. _Patience, Jethro. One step at a time. _

"Okay, Tony. Just try to eat what you can and we'll save the rest for tomorrow," Gibbs conceded. "No pressure."

His boss was being really, really nice. Which meant that he must still look well and truly awful, and that things were very far from being back to normal.

And he was very much missing normal right about now.

* * *

Tony had managed about three or four bites of steak, but now he was really starting to struggle.

Gibbs noticed immediately. "Don't have to force yourself, Tony."

The younger man sighed in frustration. "I'm sorry, Boss. I'm trying, but I just can't eat anymore."

"Hey, what's the rule about apologizing?" his boss gently reminded him.

"I know. I just feel really bad. You went to a lot of trouble for me and I feel like I'm being…ungrateful or something," Tony replied dejectedly.

"You're not being any trouble, DiNozzo. If you can't eat, you can't eat. You'll get there," Gibbs encouraged, taking his plate to save the remaining food for the next day when he hoped to have better luck.

"It's not just the food. I hate being so dependent. I mean, I'm keeping you out of your own basement. You had to get up in the middle of the night, _twice, _'cause I couldn't stop coughing and I panicked. Somehow, I don't think you signed on for all this when you hired me," Tony huffed out in frustration.

"DiNozzo – don't make me come over there and headslap you. I told you, the boat and the basement aren't going anywhere. _You _almost died. You need to get that through your thick skull, and stop acting like you just have the damn flu or something!"

_There's the Leroy Jethro Gibbs I know. _After a somewhat tense silence filled with only the sound of a few dishes being rather violently clanged about, Tony cut in. "Boss, I know I shouldn't have opened that envelope. It was a stupid thing to do, and I should know better. I _do _know better. And I completely understand if you're mad at me. You don't have to go easy on me just because I could've died."

Tony could see the Lead Agent tensely clenching and unclenching his jaw for a few moments, but he said nothing as he finished loading the dishwasher. The younger man could do nothing but sit and look at his hands, as his words hung in the air between them.

Finally, the older man quietly came and took his seat at the other end of the couch. "I _am _angry. Mad as hell and have been for days. Just not at you. I was sitting right there. We _all _should've known better."

"Yeah, but you can't be expected to monitor what we're doing every minute of the day. And _I'm _the Senior Field Agent. I didn't follow procedure."

"Yeah, well, none of us did, Tony. But I think the plague is punishment enough, don't you? So enough with the guilt, DiNozzo."

Tony allowed himself a smile of relief. "You know, Boss – I could just sit on the top step if you wanted to work on your boat for a while."

Gibbs rolled his eyes. He supposed he could work on the boat for a few minutes, if for no other reason than to appease the younger man. As long as it meant he didn't have to let Tony too far out of his sight.

He still wasn't quite ready for that yet. Not as long as that niggling in his gut was still there.

* * *

Another day had passed and Tony was slightly stronger and more independent, but his appetite was still nearly non-existent. The next day, Gibbs would be dropping the younger man off at his own apartment and leaving him in the care of a visiting nurse for the day while the Lead Agent returned to his duties at NCIS.

Tony was eagerly anticipating the return to his apartment and some sense of normalcy. While his boss was excited for him and glad to see something bring a smile to his agent's face, he was still feeling uneasy. But, for Tony's sake, he kept his unnamed fears to himself.

Abby saw an opportunity to get everyone together for a celebration, and had requested Gibbs' permission for the team to make a visit that Sunday evening, bearing Tony's favorite pizza and a couple of James Bond movies for Tony to choose from. Gibbs had hoped his agent would have a nice low-key evening before having to turn him over to someone else's care the next day, but saying no to Abby proved nearly impossible. When he saw the look on Tony's face as his living room was occupied with Abby, McGee, Kate, Ducky, and Jimmy – bearing treats – he was glad he'd given in.

They had decided to surprise the younger man, so he hadn't been expecting them. McGee carried in the pizza, while Abby had a homemade sign that read, "Welcome Home Tony." The guest-of-honor sat dumbfounded for a moment before clumsily responding with, "Wow, you did all this for me?"

At that, Abby ran over with a somewhat modified version of her usual forceful bear-hug, and reassured him, "Well of _course _we did all this for you. We miss you!"

Tony was fighting hard not to show his emotions, which was more of a struggle for him than usual after days of illness. He tried to cover with humor. "Thanks, everyone. Although you do realize this is Gibbs' house?" he quipped as he nodded towards his "Welcome Home" sign.

"We meant 'home' – as in _not _the hospital, Tony," Kate explained.

"Uh, where should I put the pizza?" McGee inquired.

"I'll take that to the kitchen, McGee. Think I've got some paper plates around here somewhere," Gibbs said as he grabbed the pizzas and took them into the kitchen.

While the rest of the group was helping themselves, Gibbs grabbed a couple of slices of pizza and took them to Tony. "Hey, you okay?" he asked softly, having noticed that Tony seemed particularly emotional.

"Yeah, I just…." Tony was unable to put into words exactly what he was feeling as he watched the gathering of his teammates from his spot on Gibbs' living room couch.

But his boss understood without the need for words. "I know," he responded quietly, lightly squeezing Tony's shoulder. "I guess they like you after all, DiNozzo," he added with a teasing grin.

Tony responded with shy smile of his own. Then he asked the older man a small favor. "Hey, Boss. I'd kind of like to talk to McGee for a second. Could you…"

The Lead Agent responded by making a quiet suggestion to the junior agent, which was understood as more of an order. "McGee, why don't you go keep DiNozzo company for a few minutes while we eat."

Nervously, Tim walked over to the couch and took a seat beside the older agent. "How are you feeling, Tony?" he asked awkwardly.

"A lot better than the last time you saw me, Probie. Can't say the same for you though. You're still as jumpy as you were the other day. Spill it."

Deciding to just get it all out of the way at once, like ripping off a Band-Aid, McGee looked down and quickly admitted, "Tony, I'm really sorry I gave you that envelope. I know I should have just given it to Gibbs. It was a really dumb thing to do, and I know there's nothing I can say to make up for giving you the plague…"

"Hold on there, Agent McGee. _You _didn't give me the plague. It was a nutty lady with a brain tumor. And before you kick yourself any harder, you should know that I had this same conversation with Gibbs last night. We've decided to stop blaming ourselves, and since you're low man on the totem pole, I think you're off the hook on this one. See, there are _some _advantages to being the Probie,….Probie."

McGee nodded quietly, still not quite ready to let himself completely off the hook in spite of Tony's suggestion. But, at least Tony didn't blame him. "Any idea when you can come back to work?"

Tony's shoulders tensed slightly. "Doctor Pitt says it'll be several weeks. But between you and me," he leaned in to whisper away from prying ears, particularly those of Kate and Gibbs, "I intend for it to be sooner rather than later."

"You know, you probably shouldn't rush it, Tony…" McGee tried to warn before being interrupted by Abby, Jimmy, and Kate.

"Since you were so intent on giving me lessons on James Bond, in spite of the fact that you could barely breathe at the time, Tony, we decided to bring over some Bond movies. Would you rather watch 'From Russia With Love' or 'GoldenEye'?" Kate asked as she held up the two movies.

"Gotta go with Sean Connery, Kate," Tony insisted.

"Right. 'From Russia With Love' it is, then," Kate agreed. "Jimmy would you do the honors?"

Abby had planned to take the middle seat on the couch, in-between where Tony and McGee were currently sitting, but before she could get there, Kate made a beeline for the spot next to Tony. Seeing Abby's slight pout, McGee chivalrously got up and gave Abby the remaining seat on the end of the couch, going to grab a couple of chairs from the kitchen table for himself and Jimmy.

As the younger members of the group settled in to watch the movie, Ducky remained in the kitchen to chat with the host.

"So, how is young Anthony really doing, Jethro?" the doctor asked.

Gibbs sighed. "Better, I guess. He can walk from one room to another now, at least. But that's about it. Gets tired easily. Barely eating. His pants are falling off of him."

"Yes, I couldn't help noticing how little of the pizza he managed to actually consume this evening."

"Slice-and-a-half. Usually eats at least four," Gibbs noted worriedly.

"It's a perfectly normal side effect of the severe pneumonia he's still fighting. Both his appetite and his strength will gradually return."

"I know. I'm just not big on patience."

"Yes, I have noticed that about you, Jethro," Ducky observed with a knowing smile. "Has he said anything about returning to work?"

"No, not yet. But I know it's coming. Once I go back to work and he's stuck at home, won't be long before he's itching to come back."

"How do you plan to respond?"

"I don't know, Duck," the Lead Agent answered honestly.

They turned their attention towards the living room, where the team was still enjoying the movie, minus a fast-asleep Tony. Gibbs looked over just in time to catch Kate grabbing the throw that had been tossed across the back of the couch and carefully arranging it around her partner.

Satisfied that Tony was comfortably settled, Kate felt Gibbs' eyes on her. This time, it was she who shared an unspoken conversation with her boss.

_You were right, Gibbs. He really is gonna be okay._

* * *

"Would you mind if I took a longer lunch today, Gibbs? Since we aren't on a case?" Kate inquired as she stood in front of her boss' desk.

Gibbs appraised her for a moment. He had a feeling he knew where she was planning to spend her lunch break, and it gave him a certain relief to know that someone would be checking in on Tony. Though completely irrational, he'd been worrying about his Senior Field Agent all morning.

"Just don't take _too _long, Agent Todd. And try to get him to eat something."

_I should have guessed he'd know exactly where I was going._

Kate had noticed her partner's weight loss and had been as concerned as Gibbs. So, she'd dug up her mother's recipe and made some homemade vegetable soup the previous night to surprise her partner. Growing up, it had always been a special treat for her whenever she'd been not feeling well, and she hoped that it might have the same effect on Tony.

Tony's eyes lit up as soon as he saw his visitor. "Kate! Missing me already I see."

"Just tired of seeing you waste away to nothing. I brought you some soup. Made it myself," she declared proudly.

When Kate had heated up the soup and placed a bowl in front of him, Tony made a show of stirring the soup, examining its contents, and even leaning forward to sniff the bowl carefully.

"There's no tofu in there, I promise, Tony," Kate chuckled.

Cautiously, he took a sip. "Wow, this is pretty good."

"Well you don't have to sound so surprised," she teased playfully. Then, looking around to make sure the coast was clear, she asked, "So, how are things going with the nurse?"

"Fine," Tony replied. "But I miss Nurse Emma. I'm not sure Helen gets my sense of humor."

"I'm not sure anyone does, Tony." But Kate was smiling as she said it.

Her partner still didn't eat with his usual enthusiasm, but Kate was still pleased with the results. It was then that she determined to bring Tony lunch every day until he was able to return to work.

* * *

Since Gibbs had had "Tony duty" all weekend, Kate volunteered to return to her partner's apartment on Monday evening. Though Tony had insisted that he no longer needed a nightly babysitter, his boss and his partner had insisted that one of them stay with him for at least his first couple of nights back in his apartment. He would never admit it, but he still had an occasional frightening coughing episode where he couldn't catch his breath, and having someone there had prevented him from all-out panic on more than one occasion. So, he was secretly grateful for their overprotective instincts.

On this evening, Kate had brought in Chinese takeout, which in a strange way made him miss their somewhat regular late-night work sessions in the office when there was a hot case. But he put on his cheerful face for his caretaker's benefit, and made his best effort to finish at least half of his meal.

"So, how are things at the office. Any new cases pop up?" Tony asked with genuine curiosity.

"No, it was a pretty quiet day. Catching up on paperwork and working on cold cases. Good thing. Gibbs is particularly grumpy."

"How do you separate 'particularly grumpy' from the 'standard grumpy?'" Tony asked in mock seriousness.

"Well," Kate mused between bites of shrimp-fried rice. "Other than when I asked him if I could take a longer lunch, I think he spoke about two words the entire day. And at least one that I'd rather not repeat."

"I see," Tony noted with great interest. "Wonder what's up."

"You mean besides his Senior Field Agent nearly dying and practically refusing to eat?" Kate asked with a pointed look. "I guess I did notice he was sort of limping."

_Limping? I was with him all weekend and I didn't see him hurt his knee. _"Did he say how that happened?...Never mind, of course he didn't. What was I thinking?"

Kate was openly amused. "If you'd like to call and ask him, be my guest. You are the one person who could probably get away with just about anything right now."

Tony wasn't about to call the man with Kate sitting right there, but he made a mental note to ask about it later, wondering if dragging his weight around all weekend could have aggravated the older man's knee injury.

Kate had switched over from looking amused to thoughtful and it didn't escape the notice of the man sitting across from her. "Whatcha thinkin', Kate?" he asked with a mischievous grin.

But his partner was still quite serious. "I was just remembering when you were sick. Will you give me an honest answer if I ask you something?"

Now Tony's tone turned serious as well. "I suppose that depends on what it is and whether I think you would use it against me," he answered with more brutal honesty than he had perhaps intended to.

She was slightly hurt by the implication, but assured him, "I promise I won't, Tony. "

"Okay. You've got my attention. What is it?"

"Who is Wendy?" she asked softly.

He visibly started and then asked somewhat defensively, "Who told you about her?"

"You did," Kate answered. "When you were sick. You were disoriented and you asked for her. And since I know you don't have a sister….I just wondered who she is to you. I've never heard the name before."

Tony relaxed slightly when he realized that Gibbs hadn't betrayed him by telling his partner about his ex-fiancee. Not that he'd truly ever believed that to be the case. But it was disconcerting to know how far out of it he'd actually been. He took a deep breath, debating whether or not to share the sensitive information with Kate. But she'd really been there for him through this ordeal, and he supposed he owed her an honest answer, since he'd been the one to bring up Wendy's name in the first place.

"Wendy was my fiancée, once upon a time," he said directly, trying to strip the statement of any emotion that might give away just how devastated he'd actually been by her abandonment.

"Fiancee?" Kate gasped. She'd expected to hear it was an old girlfriend, but to know that Tony, the perpetual frat-boy bachelor, had been ready to commit to someone for life was shocking to say the least.

"Before I came to work for NCIS. And, obviously, things didn't work out. She was the one who ended it. And I'd really rather not talk about it any more than that," he said, but not unkindly.

Nodding as she continued to try to process the information, Kate acquiesced. "I understand. I won't bring it up again."

"Thanks, Kate," he said sincerely. In an effort to avoid any more discomfort in what had otherwise been a pleasant evening, he quickly changed the subject. "Did I say anything else? Did you try to drag any more deep dark secrets out of me? Get anything juicy?" he asked wryly.

"I didn't get anything else good out of you. But you got some pretty juicy college stories out of me. Too bad you can't remember them," Kate taunted.

"_What? _You told me college stories when I was in a mind-altered state? That's hardly fair. You're just going to have to tell them to me again now that I'm in a conscious state of mind," he insisted.

"No way, DiNozzo," she laughed. "They're already somewhere in your brain. You're just gonna have to figure out a way to dig them out. I'm not telling them to you again!"

"That is _so _unfair," he insisted around a yawn.

"C'mon, Tony. Time for bed," Kate reminded gently.

Tony leered at her. "You know, Gibbs puts all my medicine on the table next to the bed and then he tucks me in," he hinted.

"I'm so sure Gibbs tucks you in, Tony," she noted skeptically.

"He _does!" _Tony insisted.

"I'll get your medicine for you. Go….change. Get ready for bed," Kate ordered.

"I'm telling you ….he does…" she could hear Tony still insisting as he slowly made his way to the bathroom.

Chuckling, Kate set about gathering up Tony's medications along with a glass of water. As she was laying them out on his nightstand, Tony wandered into the room in his pj's.

She decided to have a little fun with him. "Now get in bed like a good little boy. Your medicine is all here and if you need anything, I'll be right outside on the couch."

Climbing into bed, Tony reminded, "I told you I'd take the couch if you want the bed."

"No, Tony. You need your rest more than I do," she reminded as she absentmindedly arranged his covers around him before it occurred to her that she was tucking him in, too.

But Tony gave her the "I told you so" look when she met his eyes and she couldn't help laughing. "Okay, Tony. You got me. Don't get used to it. The pampering ends as soon as you're well."

"Does it have to?" Tony whined with a mock pout, thinking of how odd it was that this was almost the exact same scene he'd played out with Gibbs a few nights before.

Suddenly, Kate's expression changed as she recalled being by Tony's bedside in the hospital when he was near death, wanting to offer him some form of physical comfort but unable to do so due to her head cold. Impulsively, she leaned in and placed a light kiss on his forehead.

Tony's expression lost its amused expression as well, stunned by both the gentle gesture and by how it made him feel.

Relieved to see that her brief display of affection would not be the source of endless teasing for weeks and months to come, and that it had conveyed the desired message to its recipient, Kate gently bid her charge a, "Good night, Tony."

For a moment, Tony felt like he was eight again, and all was still right with the world.

* * *

Later in the week, while Gibbs was sitting in his living room, Tony received an awkward and ill-timed phone call.

He'd been trying to work up to telling his boss that he wanted to go back to work next week, beginning the conversation by asking all about what was going on at NCIS while he wasn't there, exaggerating how bored he was at home, and stretching the truth just slightly regarding how much better he'd been suddenly feeling the last few days.

The Senior Field Agent was just working up to his question when his cell phone rang. His frustration turned to shock when he read the name on the caller ID.

_Paula Cassidy._

If he didn't answer, Gibbs would get suspicious. If he tried to make it to his room in his current slow-motion state, she'd give up before he got there. And, Gibbs would get suspicious. If he answered and tried to hide the identity of the caller – yep, Gibbs would get suspicious then, too.

No use making Gibbs suspicious. May as well just make him ticked off instead. He'd probably show mercy since Tony wasn't fully recovered yet. On him. Paula – she was a different story.

"Paula?" he answered, the surprise oozing from his voice, matching the now shocked expression of his boss, who had almost comically dropped his coffee mug. "This is…unexpected."

"Tony. It's so good to hear your voice."

"Is it?" Tony asked with true wonder.

"Yes. Oh, gosh, Tony. Did you really have the plague? I mean, I just couldn't believe it when I heard. But when I heard it from more than one source, I figured it must be true."

"It's true," he answered stiffly. "Even I couldn't have made that one up."

"I don't even know what to say. Thank God you're okay, Tony."

"I'm not sure about okay just yet. But I didn't die, obviously. If that's why you're calling." Tony was still answering her questions coldly, noticing how interested Gibbs clearly was in the conversation while trying to pretend not to be listening.

"Tony, please don't be like that. I _do _care about you. I always did. I just…needed to hear you myself to prove that you were really going to make it."

His tone and his attitude both softened. "I appreciate it, Paula. Really. Thanks for calling to check on me."

"I'd love to see you. My ship arrives in Norfolk next week. If you're feeling up to it by the following weekend, maybe we could have lunch or something? As…friends. I know a lot's happened, but I still consider myself your friend, Tony."

"Maybe," he answered, still hesitant. "I'll see how I feel." He didn't just mean physically.

"Fair enough. I'll check in with you next week after I get there. Meanwhile, take care of yourself, you hear?"

"Yeah, I got it. Thanks, Paula."

Gibbs didn't wait long to comment after he hung up. "Amazing who comes out of the woodwork when you almost die."

"It was nice of her to call," Tony defended.

The older man fixed him with an intense gaze. "I hope that fever didn't mess with your memory."

"I haven't forgotten anything, Boss. She just wants to get together for lunch. Just friends."

"Yeah, DiNozzo? 'Just friends' all it is to you?"

It was a fair question. One Tony thought it best not to answer.

* * *

Tony had been practically self-sufficient the last few days of the week. Over the weekend, Kate and Gibbs made a few unscheduled visits to check in on him, trying to determine if he really was doing as well as he wanted them to think. Even Abby had dropped by on the pretense of bringing him lunch, watching his every breath and every move for hidden signs of distress.

He was still incredibly tired, but his boredom was quickly overshadowing any physical discomfort. If he had to stay home next week, it would be by himself, without the benefit of a nurse and with a decrease in the duration and frequency of visits by his boss and his teammates. He'd made certain to let them know in no uncertain terms that such vigilance was no longer necessary. It was a ploy that could backfire on him should his boss refuse his planned request to return to work immediately.

It was Sunday afternoon, and Gibbs had dropped by for what Tony assumed was the last of his visits for the weekend. It was now or never.

"You know, Boss, I can't believe how much better I've been feeling the last few days. Almost back to normal."

Gibbs eyed him with suspicion. "That's amazing since you're still barely eating anything."

Tony laughed nervously. "Yeah. Guess I don't really need all that food after all, huh?"

The Lead Agent simply raised his eyebrows.

His agent continued. "So, sounds like things have been pretty slow at work the last few days."

"I don't know about slow. Quieter though," the older man quipped.

"Cold cases don't really take a lot of physical effort. I mean, I can sit at my desk just as easily as I can sit around on my couch all day."

Gibbs fixed him with an intense glare. "DiNozzo, tell me you aren't even suggesting coming back to work tomorrow."

"Doctor Pitt said we'd play it by ear and see how I was feeling. I'm feeling like going back to work."

His boss let out a long breath. His gut was still in hyperdrive and hadn't let up any over the last several days, in spite of the marked improvement Tony had shown. Not to mention that the younger man still had angry rings around both of his eyes and had to stop every few minutes to readjust the pants that kept threatening to fall off of him due to the weight loss.

"You should really take another week, Tony. Why rush things?"

"Because I can't _take _it anymore, Boss. _Please…" _the younger man pleaded, his voice cracking just slightly on the last word.

"DiNozzo…." Gibbs rubbed his hands over his eyes in frustration. He truly didn't know what to do.

"_Please, _Gibbs. I won't overdo it. I promise. Light duty. I just…really need this. I want things to be normal again."

The last plea tugged violently at the Lead Agent's heartstrings. Everything in him screamed that Tony belonged at home where he was safe from harm until he no longer looked like he was going to pass out any moment. But Tony was practically desperate for company and something substantial to keep his mind occupied. Besides, if they were lucky, they'd be able to go another week without a case, and he'd be able to keep an eye on the younger man and ensure for himself that Tony was eating and resting sufficiently. That might not be such a bad thing.

"First sign that you're not up to it, and I'm taking you straight home. You got that?" Gibbs threatened without any real heat behind it.

Tony's answer was the brightest 1000-watt smile that Gibbs had seen from the younger man since….he couldn't even recall when.


	31. Chapter 31 - Darkest Hours - Part VI

**Filler for "Twilight." One last chapter after this to complete "Darkest Hours" and Season 2. The last chapter will probably be shorter, but will cover the moments just after the end of "Twilight."**

"**Darkest Hours – Part VI"**

_DiNozzo, this might just be the dumbest thing you've ever done._

Tony was certain there was a rather long list of dumb decisions in his past with which he could reasonably compare this particular situation, but as he lay belly-down in the dirt, all his muscles spent and struggling to catch his breath, he was simply too exhausted to even attempt remembering them all.

The first face – and voice – that swam into his consciousness, pulling him out of the dreamy haze enveloping his mind for the last few moments, was Kate's.

"Tony?" she asked anxiously as she gently bent down to check his pulse. "Tony?" she inquired again, just a bit louder. "Are you okay? Can you hear me?"

Her partner was struck with a strange sense of déjà vu, feeling almost certain he'd found himself with Kate in a similar situation just recently, but unable to pinpoint the exact memory. He tried to respond, but it came out as a rather weak and incoherent mumble.

He felt a pair of strong hands carefully turning him over onto his back. Suddenly, he found himself staring up into a bright blue sky for a few short seconds before Gibbs' concerned but stern face invaded the scene of beauty before him. "DiNozzo!"

"B-Boss?" he managed to say.

Another hand was checking his pulse. "Jethro, I believe Anthony is simply shaken from his proximity to the explosion and the subsequent strain on his muscles from the attempt to escape. However, it would not hurt for him to be checked out. His pulse is rather rapid for my liking."

"N-no more hospital, Ducky," he managed to croak out.

Gibbs was glaring at him, a look that held about eighty-percent concern and twenty-percent anger. He didn't need to hear the actual lecture to know that his boss was silently reprimanding him for pushing too hard, particularly after he'd insisted to the other man that, as a condition of his early return to duty, he'd exercise a particularly high-level of caution.

"There was a….bomb…Boss," he explained by way of apology.

"No kidding, DiNozzo," Gibbs huffed before turning to Ducky. "Let's get him to the truck while we finish processing what's left of our crime scene." Then, moving his attention to Kate, he ordered, "Stay with him."

Next thing he knew, Tony was being lifted on one side by Gibbs and on the other by Ducky, and then slowly walked to the back of the truck, passing a still-stunned Jimmy Palmer and Agent McGee in the process.

"I've got it from here," he heard Kate say as he settled into the back of the truck and laid down.

_I survived the plague to almost get blown up by a car bomb at a crime scene. Ironic. _It may have even occurred to him that he should be concerned as to _why _there was a car bomb at their crime scene, had he not been taken by sleep almost immediately.

* * *

A few minutes later he blearily opened his eyes, noticing he was still lying down in the back of the MCRT crime scene vehicle. Kate was seated next to him staring thoughtfully out the back. He wasn't certain she'd even noticed he was awake until she quietly spoke.

"What were you thinking, Tony?" she muttered without turning her head to face him.

"Uh, that there was a _bomb, _Kate…" he insisted with as much energy as he could pull together in his weakened state.

"That's not what I meant," she sighed. "What were you thinking coming to work today? You weren't ready yet and you know it."

"I _knew _you missed me. All that stuff this morning with you ignoring me and pretending you were mad at me – it was just an act. You were happy to see me. It's okay to admit it," he teased lightly, hoping to lighten the mood a bit, even as part of him was glad to see that the Kate he'd come to know over the last couple of weeks had returned. After the events of the morning, he'd begun to wonder if they were going to simply fall right back into their old routine of sometimes hurtful teasing, forgetting the fact that they'd recently come to a new understanding of each other.

"It isn't funny. You could've gotten yourself blown up just now. Insisting you were faster than me and McGee. Is your manly pride worth getting killed over? We should drive you straight home and assign a guard at your door to keep you from leaving for the next week. Home is exactly where you should be right now."

"Need I remind you that if I'd stayed home this morning, you and McGee probably _would _have gotten yourselves blown up just now?"

"You don't know that. We might have noticed the bomb on our own if you hadn't been there to distract us," Kate offered. But deep down she didn't believe that any more than Tony did, and it irked her to realize he was probably right.

"I'm not going back home. You're the one who believes everything happens for a reason. Well, obviously, there's a good reason I came to work today."

"If I can't talk some sense into you, maybe Gibbs will," Kate hoped.

"Gibbs understands that I can help a lot more by being here than I can sitting around at home doing nothing. I'm _fine_, Kate. Just overexerted myself a little bit. The Boss wouldn't have let me come back if he thought otherwise."

"Yeah, DiNozzo? Well I might be rethinking that," Gibbs' voice asserted from just outside the truck.

"Boss, really I'm okay. I don't need a hospital and I don't need to go home," Tony insisted as Gibbs helped him out of the back and into the middle seat of the front cab, Gibbs taking the driver's seat and Kate the seat to his right.

"We're getting Ducky's opinion on that as soon as we get back. And since I have to focus on the case, Kate's going to accompany you to make sure you don't try to wiggle out of anything."

Tony glanced over at his partner. Kate gave him a smug, self-satisfied smile in return.

_Great. Now I have to convince both Kate _and _Ducky to let me stay. This day just keeps getting better and better._

* * *

The hour-long drive back to the Navy Yard was unusually quiet with Tony still too spent to make much of his usual chatter, and Gibbs found himself worriedly going over the events of the morning once again in his mind.

He had fully expected the gnawing in his gut to let up as Tony's recovery continued to progress. Instead, it had persisted and even grown over the past few days. The explosion at their crime scene this morning had kicked it into high gear, and the brief moment of terror earlier that he'd somehow still managed to lose Tony, even after he'd overcome the _pneumonic plague_ for heaven's sake, had recalled to mind his troubling recent dreams and the man at the center of them.

_Ari Haswari. Somehow, he's behind this._

There was no proof. And there was no known motive – not really. And Gibbs knew if he voiced his theory that Ari was somehow behind this based solely on his gut and a few bizarre nightmares, Director Morrow might very well recommend a psych eval. Nevertheless, that explosion was no accident and his entire team was likely in danger.

As he glanced worriedly over at his Senior Field Agent, who had once again given into the temptation to rest his eyes, Gibbs thought that the timing of this new threat couldn't be much worse. Tony was in no physical shape to be dealing with this, and the rest of them were distracted and had been for the past two weeks.

_And that may very well be exactly what Ari's counting on._

* * *

"Thanks for not making me go home, Boss," Tony said quietly after the elevator doors closed behind them.

Gibbs momentarily failed to respond, instead reaching over to flip the switch to his unofficial office.

"I meant what I said, DiNozzo. You find someplace quiet and you lie down. If I see you doing otherwise, I _will _send you home, you got that?" Gibbs tried to sound threatening, but even he knew the worry was seeping into his tone.

"On it, Boss," his Senior Field Agent agreed reluctantly. "But what do you think is the deal with that car bomb? Trying to destroy evidence or …."he drifted off, not really wanting to voice the second half of his thought. _Or someone trying to kill us?_

"I intend to find out," Gibbs said tightly. "But you let us worry about that right now."

_Not so easy, Boss. Not after I was the one who almost got blown up._

Satisfied that Tony got the message, the Lead Agent reactivated the elevator and got off at the ground floor. "I'll be right back. Going for coffee. You remember what I said."

"Lie down. I got it." Tony assured the older man.

_In the bullpen behind my desk. Where I can still hear what's going on.  
_

* * *

Kate, Tony, and McGee stared open-mouthed as their boss mounted the stairs to MTAC, the words "someone really is trying to kill us" still hanging uncomfortably in the air around them.

"Wh- why would someone be trying to kill us at a crime scene?" McGee asked flabbergasted.

"Some crazy lady sent me pneumonic plague through the mail, Probie. Obviously there doesn't _have _to be a logical reason," Tony snapped back, his nerves suddenly on edge.

"This isn't the work of a crazy person, Tony. Whoever this is knew what they were doing," Kate observed nervously.

"Yeah," Tony sighed, forced to agree with his partner. "And why do I get the feeling Gibbs knows more than he's letting on?"

"Probably because he does," Kate responded distractedly. Then, as if being abruptly reminded of something, she changed the subject. "You didn't lie down for very long, Tony."

"I'm _fine _now, Kate. We have bigger things to worry about, don't you think?"

That was probably accurate. Still, Tony looked awful. "Maybe so, but if you pass out again…"

"I didn't _pass out _the first time, Kate. I was just….resting," DiNozzo insisted.

"Whatever. But you should go sit down. It might be a long night."

Although he rolled his eyes dramatically, the Senior Field Agent had to admit, if only to himself, that his chair was looking pretty inviting right about now. He also found himself wondering when Kate had become so adept at reading him. She was getting almost as good as Gibbs, though he was uncertain if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

McGee and Kate shared a concerned glance behind his back as Tony was half-walking and half-dragging himself to his chair.

"Hey, maybe we could get Chinese takeout since it looks like we may be here a while," McGee suggested.

"That's a great idea, McGee. Tony, what do you want?" Kate asked hopefully.

As he laid back and closed his eyes, his stomach rolled at the thought. "Nothing for me, Kate."

His two partners shared another worried look, this one longer. Someone was trying to kill them, and their teammate was obviously still only operating at half-capacity.

It could prove to be a very long night indeed.

* * *

If he wasn't hungry before, he was even less so after Agent Fornell's visit. He was currently thinking that the name of Ari Haswari may have just wiped out his appetite permanently.

"Boss we need you to get back to the office as soon as possible. And please call me when you get this – it's urgent. We just saw Agent Fornell and an old friend of ours is back in town…" Tony had lost track of how many messages he'd left for Gibbs since Fornell's visit bearing the bad news.

"Why don't you just tell him what's going on?" McGee asked.

"Never know who might be listening, McGee. And you know how the boss is with technology. Might accidentally put it on speakerphone or something." He was trying to keep his tone light, but DiNozzo was terribly concerned for Gibbs. _One more call and I'm taking McGee to go look for him._

As if reading his thoughts again, Kate assured him, "Gibbs can take care of himself. I'm sure he's fine, Tony."

"I know he can take care of himself, Kate, but he has no idea Ari's back in the country," Tony snapped without really meaning to. _Or maybe he does know and he went out to confront him deliberately. _The younger man wouldn't have put that past his boss if Gibbs had suspected that Haswari was the one behind the explosion this morning.

"Just because Ari's back in the country doesn't mean he's the one trying to kill us," McGee attempted to offer helpfully.

The Senior Field Agent just glared at him. "Don't tell me you really believe that, Probie."

That silenced the junior agent.

"Kate, you're awfully quiet all of a sudden. What're you thinking?" Tony inquired, realizing he'd become pretty adept at reading his partner as well.

"That I should have known Ari had something to do with that explosion. And about how much I wish I'd killed him when I had the chance."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Tony comforted. "We've pissed off a lot of people. That explosion could've been set up by any number of people. Besides, we thought Ari was out of the country until just now. You couldn't have known. And I'm guessing the Boss will be more than happy to take care of that other problem as soon as he gets the chance." _If he gets the chance._

"Maybe you should try calling him again," McGee suggested tensely.

"Yeah," Tony agreed.

_C'mon, Boss. Where are you?_

* * *

"We're not going anywhere, Boss. You're staying, we're staying," Tony asserted, heading back to his desk in spite of Gibbs' order to all of them to go home and his promise not to leave the building.

The Lead Agent watched him, a mixture of pride and concern on his features. Of all his agents, DiNozzo was the one who least needed to be pulling an all-nighter. Nevertheless, Gibbs would feel much better if all his agents were where he could personally keep an eye on them until he had a chance to take down Ari Haswari once and for all.

"I'm with DiNozzo. I'm staying, too," Kate insisted. Their boss wasn't at all surprised by this. Kate not only felt responsible for his safety, having been assigned to personally keep Gibbs in protective custody, but he also knew that she was equally concerned for Tony's health as well. The two had obviously become much closer during Tony's illness, so much so that Gibbs had found himself wondering on more than one occasion just _how _close his two agents had gotten, and if it should be cause for concern.

"Me three, Boss. Sorry," McGee chimed in. "I mean, uh, never mind about the apology part since it's against the rules and everything…"

Gibbs couldn't help a slight smirk. McGee had really come a long way during the past year, and Gibbs was proud of him. He was proud of all of them.

As he was glancing around the bullpen at his agents, he eyed a container of half-eaten Chinese food in the trash can next to Tony's desk.

"_DiNozzo! _What did I tell you?" he barked, indicating the uneaten food in the trash bin.

The younger man's eyes widened. "Boss, I wasn't exactly worried about eating after I heard Ari was back and he was trying to kill you…"

Gibbs took a deep breath, searching for some much-needed patience. "Kate, order a pizza," he directed. Turning his attention back to his Senior Field Agent, he demanded, "And you _will _eat it. You're not staying here all night without eating something."

Tony desperately wanted to argue, but he could see the older man was in no mood. "Fine."

Looking around at all of them, the Lead Agent said to no one in particular, "Going down to autopsy for a few minutes."

Once Gibbs was safely out of hearing distance, Tony grumbled, "I don't know why everyone's so concerned with my eating habits when Haswari's out there trying to kill Gibbs."

"Please excuse us for having a hard time forgetting you almost died just a couple of weeks ago, DiNozzo," Kate answered incredulously.

"But I'm much better now. Gibbs is the one we should be concerned about. The man takes crazy chances, Kate," Tony observed worriedly.

"Yeah, well, I'm not about to let anything happen to Gibbs if I can help it. But you need to take care of yourself, too. You're not going to be able to help him if you have a relapse or something. And he doesn't need to be distracted by worrying about you. He really cares about you, Tony. You should let him."

"Let him?" Tony asked in confusion, trying to grasp what his partner was getting at.

"Let him care about you. You aren't always so good about letting people get close to you. Don't think I haven't noticed."

_Yeah, well, the people I get close to seem to always leave, Kate. _"_Okay, _Kate. I promise to eat my pizza."

His partner chuckled. Between Gibbs and Tony, Kate had a feeling she was going to have her hands full for a few days. At least.

* * *

"Duck, are you still here?" Gibbs was feeling the rare urge to talk to someone this evening, but was met with silence and darkness as he entered autopsy.

Realizing he was alone, he allowed his shoulders to sag wearily, feeling as if a literal weight had settled on them. He looked over at one of the autopsy tables and was at once assaulted with the images from his dreams of over a year ago. First it was Kate in a body bag. Then Tony. Followed by McGee, Ducky – even Abby. But never himself.

He could have sworn he heard Ari's voice overhead, just as in his more recent nightmares. _Which one, Agent Gibbs?_

Ari could have just killed him earlier this evening. Instead, he wanted to toy with him. And that frightened him more than any direct threat to his own person ever could.

He'd almost blown up a coffee shop with innocent civilians. Who or what was coming next? There was no way Gibbs could protect them all.

That is, until Ari Haswari was the one in the body bag. And that was precisely where Gibbs intended to put him.

* * *

The Lead Agent wandered back into the darkened bullpen and smiled at the sight. Tony was sitting at his desk chomping on a very large slice of sausage, cheese, and pepperoni pizza, albeit with a slightly sour expression on his face. Meanwhile, Kate and McGee both appeared to be asleep at their desks.

"Glad you decided to follow orders for once, DiNozzo," Gibbs teased.

"That's not fair, Boss. I always follow your orders," Tony argued.

It was true, of course. His agent likely wouldn't even be sitting there right now if it weren't. "After you eat that you need to get some sleep, too. We're probably in for another long day tomorrow. And you're still not at a hundred percent no matter how much you lie about it."

Tony was quiet for a moment, but then hesitantly asked a question. "You're gonna be okay, right Boss?" There was an uncharacteristic vulnerability in Tony's voice that the older man knew wouldn't be present were his two more junior agents not currently fast asleep.

"I don't have any plans _not _to be okay, DiNozzo. But if you don't shut up and get some sleep, I might not be able to say the same for you."

* * *

The bullpen was now almost completely quiet, except for the sound of quiet snoring, as Tony had finally joined his teammates in slumber.

Gibbs quietly observed each of his agents in the darkness.

McGee, usually the quietest and most reserved of the group, was ironically the one snoring the loudest. The young man had somehow managed to fall asleep still looking as if he were ready to jump to attention at any given moment at the slightest indication of a command to do so. The Probie agent was eager and loyal, following the leads of his more seasoned teammates in remaining here to protect the Boss. Gibbs hadn't been completely certain at first, but he now felt confident that McGee was going to make a fine agent.

He moved on to Tony. His Senior Field Agent had fallen asleep kicked back haphazardly in his chair, one hand still in the pizza box. Gibbs was so relieved to have finally gotten the younger man to eat something, even if it had required a certain amount of coercion. He listened carefully to the sound of Tony's soft breathing. There was still just the slightest hint of congestion, but the younger man seemed to be resting comfortably and, unlike just a few days ago, his breathing didn't seem labored. It was a sound he was sure he would never take for granted again.

He looked over at Kate's desk but discovered that at some point she'd moved down to the floor to get more comfortable. His female agent was independent, strong-willed, and opinionated. She was also smart, determined, idealistic, and compassionate. The combination had made her an excellent agent, though at times it had also gotten her into a fair amount of trouble. However, right at the moment he was struck by how young she appeared. Kate's demeanor and confidence sometimes fooled him into thinking she was older than her years, though he was often brought back to reality by some of her more juvenile exchanges with his Senior Field Agent. He smiled down on her, instinctively covering her up in a protective gesture and amused in thinking that she'd probably bristle at being treated like a little girl were she not currently in a state of unconsciousness.

He moved over to the window, uneasiness recapturing his attention. Ari wanted to hurt him. Gibbs knew the best way to hurt him was not through causing harm to himself, but through his people. His job and his team were all he really had left in this world.

His greatest fear was that Ari knew it, too.

* * *

"Tony, are you absolutely sure you're up to this?" Gibbs asked one last time before they got into the sedan to head to Norfolk and to a probable confrontation with the terrorist cell headed by none other than Ari Haswari.

"Positive, Boss. No way am I sending you all in there without me. I'll be fine," Tony said, wishing he felt as assured as his tone currently conveyed.

The younger man had slightly more color in his face than the previous day, but was still pale and thin and for a moment Gibbs considered going against his Senior Field Agent's wishes and ordering him to remain behind. But truthfully, they needed him. And they were facing a possible terrorist attack against civilians. Faced with that kind of threat, he knew it was his duty to put aside whatever personal considerations he may be feeling and to place the wellbeing of those civilians ahead of their own.

Each of his agents had gone into this career field with their eyes wide open. They had sworn to protect, even at the cost of their own lives, and he had no doubt that any one of his agents would gladly pay that price to save innocent lives should it come to that. He had never placed his own desires above his duty to his country, and he wasn't about to start now. And neither would any one of his agents.

"Okay, then. Let's go," he ordered.

Just before they got in the car, Kate caught Tony's eye. She remembered her earlier conversation with Abby, and the forensic scientist's dream of the night before, accompanied by an image of Tony with blood all over his face. In spite of her assurances to her friend that it had simply been a bête noir, Kate suddenly felt afraid.

Reading her mind again, Tony offered her an assurance as well. "I'll be fine, Kate. Don't worry."

Returning to the comfort of their good-natured verbal sparring, Kate smiled and responded with, "You better be, DiNozzo. I'm finally going back to pilates class tomorrow. If you make me miss it again, you'll be sorry."

At last things were finally almost back to normal.

* * *

The shootout had been intense. For a moment, both Gibbs and Tony had held their collective breath, thinking that McGee had been hit. They had been immensely relieved to hear the junior agent's voice over the radio, even though he indicated that his transmitter had been hit.

Then there had been an almost heartstopping moment when the remaining terrorist had appeared and Kate had been the first to see him. She had screamed, "Shooter!" and thrown herself in between Gibbs and the bullet meant for him.

But, of course, they had all taken the proper precautions and donned their bulletproof vests. Kate was sore, but she would be fine.

Gibbs had breathed an audible sigh of relief upon seeing the bullet, stopped by the vest Kate was wearing. Tony had merely smiled and asked his partner if she was okay, as Gibbs had made a rare gesture of affection and stroked her hair.

As Tony helped her up, he couldn't think of a moment he'd been any more proud of his partner. He remembered all the times he'd been annoyed with her for continually reminding them of how she'd been "handpicked to protect the President." Now he knew why. Without hesitation, she had placed herself between Gibbs and harm. She was strong and brave and beautiful.

He offered the words of praise without any hint of teasing. "You did good." And he meant it every word of it. Even Gibbs agreed.

She was his brave, strong Kate. And now she was…

…

…

…

_Gone._


	32. Chapter 32 - Darkest Hours - Part VII

**Well, this is it – the last chapter for "Darkest Hours" and tag to "Twilight." I must say, though Kate has never been my favorite character, I'm actually going to miss writing her.**

**Thanks again to everyone who has been reading, following, and/or reviewing. I look forward to starting on Season 3, which just like Season 2 will be posted as a new story (On It Boss – Season 3). And since Season 3 picks up just a few hours after Season 2 ends, the first chapters covering "Kill Ari, Parts I &II" will be sort of like a sequel to this story.**

"**Darkest Hours – Part VII"**

_Ari._

He'd let his guard down for a few short moments. And Kate had paid the ultimate price for it.

Gibbs frantically scoured the adjacent rooftops with his eyes looking for any sign of his nemesis, but his so-far-reliable gut told him it was too late. Still, he'd already made one mistake and lost an agent. He wasn't about to take any additional chances with the one who was still standing.

_Which one, Agent Gibbs?_

The guilt was threatening to overtake him, but he forcibly restrained it. He'd had enough experience in combat to know his vigilance was needed now more than ever. There would be plenty of time to entertain the guilt later. And when the time came, entertain it he would.

Never taking his eyes away from their surroundings for more than a brief second, the Lead Agent spared a quick glance at his second. Tony hadn't uttered a single word. Instead, he'd instinctively drawn his gun, probably following his boss' lead without even consciously thinking about it. The agent appeared in shock, confusedly refocusing his gaze every few seconds between the buildings around them and the lifeless body of his partner on the ground between them.

"Tony," Gibbs ordered loudly enough for the other man to hear him but softly enough not to startle him. "Get behind me. We're going to take cover," he instructed, indicating the area behind them and to where the rooftop sloped just enough to provide some protection against the sniper threat.

His Senior Field Agent silently obeyed, though he spared one last glance at Kate first.

When they had taken cover, Gibbs explained, more to himself than to Tony, "My gut tells me he's already gone. But I'm calling for another team and then we're going to search every inch of these buildings."

DiNozzo didn't even seem to hear him, instead staring unfocused in the direction of Kate's body. "We should do something, Boss," he pleaded helplessly.

Gibbs had heard a similar plea before. The memory of Kate, battered and devastated after Suzanne McNeil had set off a bomb blast killing herself and her lover, invaded his vision for a moment. Tony's words were a somber reminder. He'd discouraged the younger man from interfering before. And now he had to remind him that they were too late this time.

"Tony," he said, gently placing a hand on his agent's shoulder. "There's nothing we can do for her. She's gone."

"We shouldn't just leave her there…like…_that," _Tony responded desperately.

"We aren't. I'm calling headquarters. They'll send another team to help us with the crime scene," Gibbs explained patiently.

The Lead Agent suddenly became aware of his radio. "Gibbs? Tony? Kate? What's going on? Is everything okay?" It was McGee. He had no idea what had just transpired. Or how much things were about to change.

"Agent McGee, hold your position. _Do not move. _We'll come to you. Copy?" his boss ordered.

"Copy," the Probie agent responded in a confused tone.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked just a bit more forcefully this time, successfully gaining almost all of Tony's attention for the first time since Kate had been hit. "Listen to me. _I need you. _I need my Senior Field Agent right now, you got it?"

"I've got it, Boss. Whatever you need," Tony replied seriously, finally appearing to snap back to reality.

"Good. Agent McGee does _not _need to come up here and find Kate, you understand? We're going down there so I can call for backup. I need _you_ to tell him what's happened and take cover 'til the other team gets here. Can you do that for me, Tony?" Gibbs' tone was firm, but still laced with a rare gentleness that he would have normally reserved for a child or an accident victim. Another reminder that things weren't back to normal, and never really would be again.

"I understand," Tony answered immediately, his voice barely above a whisper.

He moved back towards the fire escape he had ascended what seemed like years ago, but Gibbs' hand grabbed him by the arm, detaining him.

"Wait," the Lead Agent ordered. He had just remembered that Tony's face was still covered in Kate's blood, a sickening reminder that even his Senior Field Agent seemed to have forgotten. Gibbs dug around in his pockets looking for something he could use to wipe it off. Breaking the news to McGee would be difficult enough without giving the young man a gory image to go with it that he would probably never be able to purge from his mind.

Realizing he didn't have anything, he started to search Tony's pockets and found some Kleenex. Another grim reminder, this one bringing back an image of more blood, _Tony's _blood, surrounded by blue lights and the specter of death. Could it really have been just a handful of days ago that he'd been faced with the very real possibility of having to bury Tony? For the first time since that dreadful envelope had invaded their lives, Gibbs had momentarily forgotten how ill the young man in front of him still was. He'd looked forward to the day when that experience wouldn't be ever present at the forefront of his mind. He'd imagined it as a happy moment. He'd never dreamed it would be like this.

But he didn't have time to dwell on that right now. Taking the tissue, Gibbs reached up to wipe Tony's face. The younger man flinched for just a moment before his eyes widened at the memory of the spray of Kate's blood on his face just minutes earlier, and he at last realized what his boss was doing. He then remained perfectly still, allowing the older man to clean off the outward remnants of the horror they'd just witnessed, even as the inward scars grew ever deeper.

When he was finished, the two shared one last silent communication between them.

_We have a job to do, Tony. For Kate._

_For Kate, Boss._

* * *

Agent McGee knew something was terribly wrong when the radio went silent. It had taken several tries before anyone had even heard him, and he'd been just about to take matters into his own hands and start his journey to the rooftop to see what was going on when Gibbs had finally answered him.

"_We'll come to you," _his boss had said. The use of the term "we" had momentarily comforted him, until he realized that could still mean Gibbs would be arriving without one of his teammates.

His thoughts had immediately turned to Tony. _He probably shouldn't even be here. Maybe he collapsed again._

Any number of different scenarios played through his brain before he saw them. Gibbs and Tony. But no Kate. And he just knew.

Tony was approaching him while Gibbs was making a call, all the while watching, never dropping his guard, constantly searching every nook and cranny around them for signs of trouble.

"What's wrong, Tony?" he heard himself ask, even though he suspected he already knew the answer.

"Probie," the Senior Field Agent said rather hoarsely, hesitating for a moment. "Kate's been shot…"

"Well did you call an ambulance?" McGee interrupted nervously. _Maybe that's what Gibbs is doing. But why wait until they got down here? And how could they just leave her up there?_

"No," Tony answered in an unusually shaky voice. Then, even more surprisingly, his more senior partner reached over and rested his hands on both of McGee's shoulders.

_No. No, no, no, no…this can't be happening. She was just here a few minutes ago. I saw her. I talked to her. I ate dinner with her last night. Tony and I teased her this morning about having dreams about Gibbs. She's fine. She has to be fine._

"She's dead, buddy. I'm sorry," Tony informed him softly.

But he hadn't needed to hear to words to know she was gone. Somehow, he'd known it the moment he saw them return without her. Kate was gone, and whatever had remained in him of the idealistic innocence he'd brought with him to DC from Norfolk a year ago had gone with her.

* * *

Agent Balboa and the rest of his team arrived in near-record time, filing out of the car while maintaining a grim, respectful silence. Balboa's team was like extended family and none had forgotten the murder of their own teammate, Chris Pacci, just over a year ago. Gibbs had no doubt that his colleagues would handle Kate's death with the same level of urgency and determination with which he and his team had handled Pacci's.

"Gibbs. I'm so sorry. Kate was an excellent agent and also a friend. You just tell us what you need and we'll take care of it," Balboa offered.

"Appreciate it. Sniper was in one of these buildings. Need them cleared and searched for evidence," Gibbs answered tightly.

"You got it," the other man assured. Turning his attention to Tony, he extended his hand. "DiNozzo, it's good to see you back. I just wish it had been under different circumstances."

Tony took the offered hand and responded with a shaky, "Thanks." It didn't seem possible that this was still only his second day back or that he'd been the one who'd almost died not so long ago.

Gibbs beckoned for Tony to come closer as Balboa and his team huddled to put together an action plan. "I'll tell Ducky what's happened. They're sending over an ME from a sister agency to handle the….to handle Kate. Director thought Ducky was too close. He can decide if he wants to perform the autopsy." Gibbs hesitated momentarily before delivering the next piece of news. "Morrow wants me back at the Navy Yard."

"Go, Boss. McGee and I have got this," Tony responded without hesitation.

His boss glanced worriedly over at the surrounding buildings but did not speak.

His Senior Field Agent answered the unspoken concerns anyway. "You said yourself that Ari's long gone by now. Your gut's good enough for me. You have my word that if Haswari left behind anything at all, we won't leave here until we've found it. Every trace of it."

There was a barely-controlled burn of white-hot rage in Tony's tone, backed up with a steely determination. Gibbs knew better at this point than to try talking the younger man out of working the crime scene. But even though Tony had volunteered his Probie partner, the Lead Agent felt it best to confirm the junior agent's wishes for himself.

Gibbs looked over questioningly at McGee who had been listening to their exchange from a short distance away.

"Tony's right, Boss. We'll handle this along with Balboa's team. You should go back to headquarters and handle things from there," Tim offered, gathering up his own portion of rage and determination.

The older man looked proudly between his two remaining agents. They were still a team, maybe now more than ever before. Gibbs nodded, then added, looking first at Tony, then to McGee, "Watch your six. Both of you."

"You got it," Tony confirmed.

Once their boss drove away, Tony transitioned fully into Senior Field Agent mode. "Agent McGee, you join Balboa's team and start searching the warehouses. I'll wait here for the ME and then I'll catch up with you."

Tim hesitated. "Are you sure that's a good idea? You staying here alone? I mean, what if…"

"I didn't _ask_, Probie," Tony cut him off with a tone that was not to be argued with.

McGee made a move to join the others, but was detained briefly when Tony reached out to grab hold of his arm. "Hey," his teammate said in a much softer voice this time. "Be careful."

Tim nodded his affirmation. "Yeah, you too Tony."

Soon, DiNozzo was left to collect his thoughts in the alleyway. Alone.

* * *

The rain started to fall almost immediately.

At first, it was simply a slight drizzle. Tony looked reflexively up towards the sky, remembering how blue it had been just the morning before, and noticing how almost every trace of the brilliant blue had now been replaced with a dull grey.

The rain covered his face, taking with it any remaining traces of Kate that may have been somehow missed earlier by Gibbs' gentle but firm hand. The water ran down his face, then soaked his shirt, moving further and further away from him in a fluid motion. He wanted to stop it, to grab onto the water with his hands to halt the motion somehow but he knew it was futile.

He desperately closed his eyes, trying to hold on to every memory of his partner before they too were washed away. Her face, her smell, the sound of her voice…

_How did you get into NCIS….I have a suggestion…We break into Gibbs' basement and we set his boat on fire…I hate to break it to you, Tony, but Gibbs can be wrong sometimes…What was it like, tonguing a guy?...I swear the two of you are worse than my brothers, and they're practically psychotic…Oh, good dog. I think I'll call you Tony…You mean they actually train you guys how to harass?...She looks awfully lonely back there…I think one of us should go and keep her company….Wait, you looked in my purse?...All I'm saying is that things on the surface are not always the same as when you put them in context with the way they actually developed. You know, under the surface…kinda….You need glasses, Gibbs. Are you happy?...If anything happens to you, I'm gonna be stuck working here with Gibbs alone…You know, most people attend to their personal hygiene at home…Would you please tell him that a man and a woman can just be friends…We need a mediator Ducky, or I'm going to have to go to Employee Relations….You're so juvenile…When did you become the lead agent? I thought we were a team…So I'm the follower? I don't think so…I hate to say it, but that was actually smart, Tony…_

_That's right Tony. Plague. Cause only you would go off and get a disease from the Dark Ages._

_I'm stronger than you._

_I should just take you home and get you into bed._

_Wow, I thought I'd die before I ever heard…._

He grabbed desperately at the memories, trying to recall the sound of Kate's laughter that night at the hospital when he'd resolved to make her laugh more. Now he'd never have that chance. But he had the memory and he'd hold onto it with all his might, tucking it safely away in the corner of his mind where he kept special things - things like the color of his mother's eyes and the scent of her perfume.

Tony thought he felt a slight flutter on his forehead, similar to the gentle kiss Kate had left there just a few days prior. For a very brief moment, it was as if she was there with him.

_Goodbye, Tony._

His eyes flew open, but she wasn't there. There was nothing there but the rain, running down his face, onto the ground, through the alleyways and into the gutters. Washing everything away. Taking Kate from him forever.

And nothing would ever be the same.


End file.
